It’s all too easy to make snap judgements with friends and loved ones. If someone upsets us, we often go into immediate reaction with statements like: “You always…” or “You never…”.
Not the best way to engage and make positive emotional connections! It simply makes the other person shut down. Sam and Gina discuss the J-word vis-a-vis their own relationships. And offer 3 helpful tips on how we can check in on our own behaviour – and make powerful adjustments – before we start projecting and blaming others.
This is a time of the year when our thoughts turn reflective as we look back at the year we’ve had.
Can you say there’s nothing you regret?
Chris and Sam reckon it’s not too late to turn things around – whether it is something that didn’t happen or something that didn’t turn out as you’d hoped. Pick one thing you’d like to either resolve or at least progress a little, before the year is out. (We help out with some relationship examples). The more emotionally charged the better!
A baby step could see you dissolving a regret, freeing up some emotional energy or creating a stronger foundation to move forward from in 2012.
Make a real difference to this year and your relationships this week!
In a recent discussion with a client, I was reminded of the importance of recognising our skill and ability to shift from being in a selfish place to one of being selfless.
Both of these positions can be thought of as emotional states that we ‘go to’ in certain circumstances.
The person I was speaking with recognised that he had been behaving somewhat selfishly in his relationship with his family.
I posed the question: Was being selfish in that situation a bad thing?
Is that possible? To get energised from your relationships? In this podcast Gina and Chris provide a practical strategy and steps to evaluate your current relationships. With this awareness you can make better decisions on how and who you spend your time with to improve your energy levels.
After this you’ll now have more energy to put towards the most important things in your life.
Leave a comment and let us know what you discovered by following this exercise and putting the strategy in place.
Whilst expectations themselves seem part of human nature, those of us who hold high expectations for ourselves – complete with perfectionist foibles – tend to have reasonably high expectations of those around us too. Particularly if they are close to us!
But the greater the expectation, the more power it has to hurt us. All hurt and disappointment can be traced back to an expectation we’ve held. Read more of this article »
Are you true to yourself or do you feel frustrated by not being able to be yourself with people?
Gina and Paul talk about how we all can find ourself in a situation where we find we just aren’t being honest with ourselves or the people around us. Maybe we started to tell little white lies at first as it just didn’t seem important, but now it’s become unbearable.
At the start of a relationship it’s all to easy to adapt yourself to fit into the image that you think your potential partner is really looking for, only to find further down the line, you end up resenting them for “making” you act in a different way.
Find out how being honest from the “get go” can really make your life and relationships a lot less troublesome in the future. Learn to be loved for who you really are.
It’s all too easy to fall into the habit of admonishing and punishing friends and loved ones for their irritating habits. How many times have you asked him/her to put the loo seat down, put the plates in the dish washer and not the sink and put their clothes away? It can be exhausting repeating yourself. And your pleas often fall on deaf ears! Read more of this article »
It occurred to me recently, that I have spent more than half my life learning about human potential, studying success and gaining insight from the world’s greatest teachers, all to feed my own curiousity about what really matters and what it really takes to create a deeply fulfilling life. A life of your choosing (for the most part), a life on your terms (for the most part), a life filled with more laughter, happiness, health and success.
I’ve learned that we – the average, everyday person – are capable of changing our lives in numerous ways, dramatic ways (!) and faster than most might believe. Many people are wanting or hoping to improve their situation in some way: to lose weight, save more money, develop more meaningful relationships, take on more interesting or engaging hobbies, travel more, give back more, and the list goes on. Many just want to feel alive again. Read more of this article »
The path to success often means MORE. More health, more money, more time with family, more promotions, more holidays, more ‘more’.
Our society seems to relentlessly push us to want more and need more. “Do more with less” is a common mantra in today’s businesses, cutbacks in staff means to continue on the path of ‘getting ahead’ you simply need to put your head down, nose to the grindstone and work harder. All in the name of more. However, there is another side.
Spring is a time of new beginnings and growth. It’s also time to get rid of old things that are no longer needed and welcome fresh new additions. Usually, that applies to cleaning up your home – that avoidable cupboard, spare room or putting away the winter gear. But what about spring cleaning your life and your mind?
Our minds are much like our homes. They both get cluttered. They fill up with bits and bobs we no longer want or need. Both benefit from a regular cleaning out of stuff that we collected for one reason, and are holding onto out of habit, neglect, or just delusion it’s still the right thing to do. Read more of this article »
If you have been laid off recently then join the ever-increasing club – it’s a fact of working life now, so I empathise. Many of us know what you’re going through right now – and it hurts. It’s happened to me twice in my career and I know only too well how painful the experience can be. And how much it can affect relationships with everyone around us, especially those closest to us who are often just as anxious as we are. And can take the brunt of it all, if we’re not careful.
You all know the types of conversations, the ones we dread having. Sam and Paul talk about how to tackle these difficult conversations keeping it on track and handling the situation with heart.
I was chatting to a friend for the first time in a few months, on MSN today. He is a dear friend I originally met through WoW (World of Warcraft) gaming, and whom I am in contact with irl (in real life).
We chatted for a bit, then he asked me the ‘big question’ – “Are you still playing?” I admitted, yes – that I was but that I was more aware of when I chose to play these days. He has been cold-turkey for quite a while now, so he sent me a link, and mentioned that it may inspire me to write a blog post. The site is www.wowdetox.com, and whilst I realised it was a link aimed to help people overcome their WoW addiction, I didn’t really expect it to have a lot of immediate relevance to me.
Paul and I have mentioned WoW on podcasts and blog posts from time to time – which is why I felt this dedicated post was appropriate. And for the record, I’d like to state that whilst I talk openly about my own gaming experience, in NO circumstances would I recommend WoW to anyone. In fact, I’d say ‘avoid it if you want to have any life’. Read more of this article »
“It takes one to know one” is a phrase that often gets used by children when name-calling starts! Yet, despite it’s derogatory use as a rejoinder – there is a lot of wisdom present.
Think of someone you really admire, and which character traits of their’s shine through. Sometimes it is much easier to believe something unpleasant about ourselves, than to acknowledge and accept that those traits we really admire in another person are part of us too.
When we think of each relationship as a mirror for ourselves, there is a lot of worthiness there to love – if/when we accept it. (Likewise, when someone is really annoying us – chances are we are doing that ‘annoying thing’ in some way too!) Read more of this article »
How does it feel when you are speaking to someone and it seems like your words are passing through the air between you, going in one of their ears, and out their other ear almost simultaneously? There is nothing much more frustrating than that!
“I’m not being listened to! They aren’t hearing me! Why am I so misunderstood?”
Having to constantly repeat ourselves is not the only option! Join Chris and Sam as they explore the differences between hearing and listening, how it affects our communication when we feel like we aren’t being listened to, and what we can start doing to improve the effectiveness of our speaking and listening straight away.
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