The Most Important Question You Will Ever Ask

As a coach it’s my job to ask the questions that help my clients resolve a problem, achieve a goal or see something from a new perspective.

What is the question?

Recently I was delighted to be able to coach someone for a TV show. Gok Wan is a hugely popular body confidence and fashion guru. On his show last night I was seen coaching a young gay man who needed help boosting his confidence. You only see me on screen for about 30 seconds, but during my slot I ask Daniel what he’d like to get out of the session.

“By the end of this coaching session, what do you want to achieve and take away with you?”

Why do you need to ask this question?

This is a normal question to ask, and the reasons behind it may already be obvious to you. But just in case let’s break it down and see why it’s the most important question you could ever ask.

  1. It starts off the conversation by clearly understanding its purpose.
  2. It gives you a chance to mark where you are now so that you can compare it with where you feel you have reached at the end.
  3. It confirms commitment that this is a conversation about change, not about wishing things were different.

What happens if you don’t ask it

Think about a time when a conversation with someone went round in circles. Or a time when you thought you were setting a goal, but you never seemed to move towards it.

Chances are you didn’t ask yourself, or the other person the most important question.

“What result do you want from this?”

Not asking this question, is like jumping on the first train you see at the station, but not knowing where it’s going, or even knowing where you WANTED to go!


Getting to the point

Frequently at the mercy of information overload, I find myself placing greater value on “bite-sized” pieces of information. Not only are they more accessible – I’m far more likely to read, watch or listen to them in the first place – but they are also likely to be more effective at the same time.

Condensing an idea or thought into its key essence without losing meaning is an important skill, yet we can become complacent in our communication.

Have you sent or received an ambiguous “txt msg” lately that could be misunderstood? Continue reading

Do You Put The ‘Pro’ in Procrastination?

If there was a boy scout badge, professional certification or ‘lifetime achievement award’ for procrastination, would you nominate yourself (…if you could find the time, of course)?

Does watching this video make you wonder if the creator was peeping in through your windows watching how you navigate through the day?

Well, if you’re laughing or feeling a bit uncomfortable at how much you relate to the above comments, then perhaps it’s time to really take a look at your procrastinating skills in a new light.Continue reading

4 Questions for Navigating Change

Drawing on our own personal experience and those of our clients, Gina and Chris suggest four questions that can help you navigate through a significant period of change. Whether it be a new job, a new home or a new relationship, we all feel uncertain – and fear – at venturing into something new.

These questions can help build your confidence that you can do it and start you on the path to feeling great about your new opportunity.

8 questions you must ask at the end of each year

It’s that time of year where I can’t help but start looking forward to the next calendar year. So many hopes and dreams, and a chance to begin anew. A time to reignite my passion and recalibrate my direction. And where do I always start? By looking backwards.

Of all the self-growth practices, perhaps none is more vital than taking the best lessons from the past and using them to design your future.

So as we come of the end of yet another year, here are eight simple yet extremely powerful questions to ensure you capture the most empowering learning from the past year and use those insights and discoveries to propel you into an even more rewarding 2011.

But first, a word of caution and suggestion: Continue reading

Practice Active Listening

Have you ever noticed that moment when the person you’re speaking to suddenly seems to mentally drift away, their eyes glaze over and you know they’re not listening to you any more? Do you do that to others?

In this podcast, Sam and Chris discuss three levels of listening and offer practical tips to ensure you not only listen well but remain engaged and interested in your conversations.

This topic was inspired by the recent request from a listener, and our answering podcast – The Dance of a Social Butterfly.
Continue reading