Time Is Flying By…Time to Take BOLD Steps

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Are you amazed at how quickly time seems to be passing? Worried that December will be here again and you won’t have taken action towards making those longed-for changes in your life? Perhaps it’s time to ditch the baby steps and push yourself out of your comfort zone!

Chris and Gina discuss ways you can begin to take big, bold steps – and calculated risks – towards creating the life you’d love. If you wanted to increase your happiness quotient by 10x – what could you do TODAY to get the ball rolling?

Feal The Fear And Do It Anyway

Set your Self free! (photo: deepintoscripture.com)

As many of you know, what you focus on you attract. If you focus on lack, you’ll attract lack. If you focus on abundance, you’ll attract abundance. Simples.

But it’s not a case of just wishing that sexy Mercedes convertible will land in your driveway… that’s where movies like The Secret misled people. You have to take definite and consistent action to create what you’d love. Just wishing for your heart’s desire to materialise will NOT make it flesh and bone 3D for you. There’s a little more to the creative process! Continue reading

Resistance to Change: new YouTube video

Do you tend to see resistance to change as a problem to be fixed or an obstacle to be overcome?

If we can change our perspective on it slightly, resistance to change can be useful and positive rather than a hindrance and negative.

Our resistance then becomes a helpful tool or message, and can open up a range of new options.

RESISTANCE TO CHANGE – WHAT IS IT REALLY?

People resist change when they perceive it – consciously or unconsciously – as a threat.

Sometimes, these perceived threats can be quite obvious or easily identified. But these threats and fears can at times be very subtle, hidden or even counter-intuitive – especially when dealing with self growth, personal development or more immediate challenges.

Resistance to change often shows up as an almost physical block – a really strong sensation that wants you to run in the opposite direction or avoid it at all costs!

We don’t always spot the fear that underlies our strong response. It might be triggered by a new idea or a positive change we want to make that somehow threatens our sense of identity, confidence or connection with others.Continue reading

Be Your Self in your Relationships

“The world worships the original” Ingrid Bergman

Being authentic, and by that I mean being yourself in a relationship is absolutely essential. For you and your partner. Yet many of us tread on eggshells around other people; trying to please, giving them what we think they want, and ending up tired, frustrated and often angry. And often blaming the other person for our lack of courage to be fully present and fully ourselves.

This fundamental lack of self-confidence means that we often attract others who find it equally challenging to be ‘themselves’. The result? Two people engaging with what is essentially two false personas! Not a recipe for an enduring, successful relationship. Especially if it’s subconscious.

Many of us feel that parts of us are ‘shameful’ and don’t want to reveal these hidden aspects, for fear that others will judge, condemn and ultimately leave us. The fear of abandonment (or its alter ego — engulfment) is a major subconscious and very conscious fear that invades and pollutes many adult relationships. Usually it’s based on past experience that has no present relevance. Yet like everything, if we focus on it enough, our fears become reality. A self-fulfilling prophecy which backs up our “I’m unlovable if I am truly my Self” mantra.

Often we project the blame for our inability to be totally authentic on to the other person. We have an inner dialogue that says: “they won’t let me, or they won’t like me as I really am” therefore to keep this person I have to project my persona. One example at the ‘minor’ end of the scale is a former work colleague who was still throwing away the cup of tea her boyfriend made for her each morning, because she didn’t have the heart to tell him she didn’t like the way he made it. And they’d been co-habiting for a year!

These seemingly minor incidents of not being honest can become a habit, leading – in the most extreme examples—of someone not telling their partner they’ve been made redundant.Continue reading

Personal Development: Skills You Need to Face Life’s Daily Problems

emotional-stressLife can be full of worries—from bills to be paid, conflicts with people, deadlines at work, an illness in the family, and all sorts of problems that occupy your mind every day. Though these are all legitimate concerns that genuinely need attention, worrying too much about them may not be the best way to handle things. By practicing some basic personal development techniques, you may be able to effectively navigate your way through the daily worries of life.

Do you find yourself weighed down by your daily responsibilities? Are you constantly worrying about things? Do you have sleepless nights because you can’t stop thinking about so many concerns? These are all unhealthy lifestyle practices that may lead to bigger problems in the future. Worrying may lead to depression and even manifest in health problems. It also affects your outlook in life, and even your relationship with people. And ultimately, worrying won’t solve anything; it will just weigh you down.

As an adult, you need to learn some personal development techniques to guide you through life while you face your daily worries and responsibilities:

  • Hope for the best. Always carry a positive attitude towards life and all your problems. Stop thinking negative thoughts—in the face of a problem, imagine the best possible result.

  • Anticipate the worst. Despite your positive outlook, try to be prepared for the worst scenario so it doesn’t catch you by surprise. By anticipating for the worst, I mean preparing yourself quite literally. For example, if your company announced a retrenchment, you should anticipate the worst possible scenario by preparing your resume and calling out head hunters, not by worrying about your job.

  • Identify legitimate concerns and push aside non-essentials. Focus your eye on finding solutions for your main concerns first, and then the rest may follow. Your family, health and career are all important; where you’re going to spend your next vacation is definitely not as important.

  • Write down your concerns and the steps you will take to solve them. Writing them down will help remind you that you already have a plan and there’s no need to keep worrying.

  • Live one day at a time. Worrying needlessly won’t solve anything. So be grateful for the day and stop thinking about what tomorrow may bring. Today’s what you have, so live it to the fullest.

  • Find a support system. While you face so many problems in life, it would really help to have someone support you through it. People you can talk to and draw strength from. These could be your family, friends and even a life coach. Anyone you can confide in or give you advice can be a part of your support system.

This does not mean that you will not face your problems and pretend they don’t exist. Facing your problems and worrying about them every day are two different things. After you’ve fully acknowledged the things that you need to do and solve, worrying and depression will not help. You need to start working to solve it. Personal development skills are important to help you face problems in a healthy way. It is in situations such as these that your personal development skills will be put to test.

It may also be a good idea to talk with somebody in authority that you respect. Sometimes an outsider’s view and opinion can be very useful in these situations. But be sure to confide with a person you truly respect and look up to.

Good luck! I’d love to hear how your attitude to life’s problems has helped – or hindered you.

Spring clean your mind!

Spring into action!

Give yourself a boost with these 5 steps into spring!

This is the perfect time of year to get yourself motivated and de-clutter your house and your mind. Spring really is about new beginnings, new projects and new impetus. Here are 5 ways you can kick-start your spring revival:

  1. De-clutter your home and your work environment.
    Take a look around and make a pile of things you haven’t used, looked at or worn for the last year. Give what you can to charity or hold a car boot sale. Clear and clean surfaces and floors. Throw out old newspapers and magazines.You’ll feel more energized and be able to think more clearly in a clean, clear space!
  2. Spring into action.
    Exercise is the best way to shake off those winter blues and put a spring in your step. Start a realistic and achievable exercise programme. Get off the bus one stop earlier. Walk the children to school. Swim, gym, pilates and yoga are all wonderful body toners. And you’ll be releasing those feel-good endorphins too!Continue reading

Resistance to Change – Why it’s good and how to use it

If you change the way you look at things... Most people see resistance to change as a problem to be fixed or an obstacle to be overcome…

But what if resistance to change was useful instead of a hindrance,  positive instead of negative, a gift rather than a curse?

It would certainly take a bit of perspective shifting, but when we can see our resistance as a helpful tool or message, it opens up a whole new range of options and ways forward.

SO WHAT IS RESISTANCE TO CHANGE?

People will resist change when they perceive it as a threat.

In traditional change management, and within organisations, many of these perceived threats can be quite obvious or easily identified. However, when you are dealing with self growth, personal development or more intimate challenges, the threats and fears can be very subtle, hidden or even counter-intuitive.Continue reading

The Benefits of Being Creative

Sam and Gina discuss how becoming more creative – in their professional and personal lives – has not only given them increased self-confidence and happiness, but also impacted positively on their friendships and relationships. In this podcast they’ll give you tips on finding your own inspiration, unblocking your creative U-turns and bringing more magic and fulfillment into your life.

Read Chris’s related blog post on how we find so many excuses not to do things here

 

Break through your fear of public speaking

Some of you may know that I am a big fan of Toastmasters and regularly visit a central London club. I highly recommend it for increasing confidence in public speaking, as well as gaining personal confidence and making some great new friends and contacts.

Last week I did my first speech – The Icebreaker.

It’s good title for the first Toastmaster speech and one that every new Toastie probably dreads. I know I’d been thinking about doing mine for a month or two, before finally pushing myself out of my comfort zone and Continue reading

Move out of your comfort zone

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It’s a great phrase, ‘comfort zone’. It sounds so familiar, so safe, so secure.  A sure haven where we can rest a while – for centuries even – and never leave. So instead of taking risks, stepping out and seeing what we really are capable of in life, we tend to expand our comfort zones. Ever increasing circles. Ever decreasing opportunities. Clever, or so our mind thinks, but not a very practical nor far sighted life strategy. Believe me, there are times when I’ve stayed in mine for years. And serve me it has not.

So how can we mitigate the reptilian fears that come up every time a new opportunity in life arises, or new challenges, whether they be work, relationships, moving home, moving country?Continue reading