The Empowering Paradox of Failure

Earlier this week I spent three days with a group of 20 passionate yet overworked and nearly burned out video game developers. My task: to help them to better understand the impact of the choices they make. Specifically the ones that prevent them from performing at a sustainable high level and keep them from experiencing more consistent happiness and fulfillment.

Without exception, every time I’ve had the opportunity to guide people to greater understanding of the forces that shape their behaviour, and help them to identify new behaviours that they WANT to do, KNOW is good for them, and KNOW will serve the greater good, there is one common question that arises.

Will it really last?

It happens every time.

Change is hard. Can I really change?

Whether it’s a 25-year old video game coder or a 55-year old global business leader, the self-doubt is the same. After all, they’ve been building up years of Continue reading

Perfect in our imperfections

As someone who has suffered through the effects of perfectionism most of my life, it was really liberating to write out a mantra recently that epitomises a more nurturing (and effective) alternative:

“This is pretty good; I think I’ll keep going.”

This one came from [amazon ASIN=”0330343580″]The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron[/amazon], and is one of many affirmations, techniques and perspectives that have helped me loosen the grip of perfectionism that had stopped me achieving much, let alone my best.

I know the other ActionCoaches have also struggled with the need to be perfect from time to time, so here is a collection of some of our top insights into how to live a more effective and fulfilled lifeContinue reading

(Un)Great Expectations

Ever been accused of having high expectations?

Whilst expectations themselves seem part of human nature, those of us who hold high expectations for ourselves – complete with perfectionist foibles – tend to have reasonably high expectations of those around us too. Particularly if they are close to us!

But the greater the expectation, the more power it has to hurt us. All hurt and disappointment can be traced back to an expectation we’ve held. Continue reading

Be Anything But Perfect

Are you a perfectionist? Do you spend hours labouring over presentations that should only take you 30 minutes? Do you often feel you can’t write that book, have that relationship or find the job you love until you are somehow better than you are? The limiting belief inside most perfectionists is a lack of self-belief and low self-esteem. A limiting belief that you are simply not good enough. Chris and Gina discuss the warning signs and what you can do to be successful – even when you’re not perfect.