Here’s how: by simply by giving yourself a few seconds to calm down and sense what the real issues are, what the person is asking for and how you can really be of most help to them. Giving great customer services does not mean you have to compromise yourself.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also receive a copy of our new e-Book.

In this podcast, Gina and Chris discuss ways to make sure you do keep a healthy balance of taking care of yourself, while still being strong, supportive and available for your friends and colleagues.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

True team work!

It is such a joy to be part of the AP team, and I think this has been a vital factor in our success because we all truly love what we’re creating together. But it has very much been a roller-coaster ride, rather than smooth sailing – so I’m inspired to share some top tips for team work at this fortuitous time.

• Acknowledge & Accept Uniqueness: Chris, Gina, Paul and I are totally different people! We have different strengths, different passions and different foibles! Every team is filled with individuals, and when this is recognised and appreciated – everyone has the chance to feel that they belong and can find their own place within the group.
• Seek Other Perspectives: Not only are we unique, but we also have different opinions! Instead of arguing or simply agreeing about an idea, we always try to explore the reasons behind why we each feel the way we do. Having four (or more) perspectives means that your team are more likely to be better prepared, and to have considered most alternatives before deciding on the option that best suits the team’s objectives.
• Regularly Re-Clarify Objectives: The times we’ve nearly ‘slipped off the rails’ have been times when we lost sight of our joint objectives. By re-clarifying what our team focus is every month or two, we are much more aligned on everything we do. Checking regularly that everyone understands the reason why the team exists and what the group’s priorities are will ensure that issues or confusion are raised and resolved much sooner, and acts as a rudder to keep the team on track.
• Ask For Help: There are times when each of us needs to step back a pace, and the others naturally step forward to pick up the slack. The attention and effort we can each commit to ActionPodcast varies week to week, and we cope best as a team when we know where the others stand. When individuals feel safe to ask for help, or admit that they need to step back slightly, it not only gives the rest of the team a chance to keep things running smoothly but also lets people stretch their wings and feel helpful.
• Agree to Disagree: Not every decision we make is unanimous, and there are times when we have to go with a majority vote. We are often guided by what our group mission and objectives are, so that we consistently move in the best direction. In a team it is important to respect each person’s opinion, and also the fact that a decision ultimately needs to be made – so agreeing to disagree allows the team to move forwards without people taking it personally or getting upset.
• No right or wrong: The 4 of us have different ways of approaching things from where to start, what type of plan is needed, what we most enjoy or dislike, to how we communicate or receive information. We got off to a great start with a new project when we realised we don’t all need to start at the same point. In a race, runners have staggered starting points but all understand that they are running in the same direction around the same track – operating in this way as a team can allow everyone to find their own rhythm and contribution – without needing to have a single starting point.

Which of these 6 tips would make the biggest difference to a team you are part of just now?

Being a member of a team can bring many complications, personality-clashes and emotions, yet I can emphatically say that being part of the AP team has taught me so much about myself and how I interact with others – and I wouldn’t change it for anything! I am very capable on my own, but I thrive within the group and truly feel I add as much value to the team as I receive from being part of it. In fact, to borrow a cliche – the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts!

On behalf of the AP team we would also like to send heartfelt thanks to you and all our listeners for your support, comments and questions – we couldn’t do this without you!

We would love to hear from you – so please leave us a comment below or contact one of the AP team directly. If you haven’t already – then Sign up to receive our podcasts directly to your inbox with an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book – launching soon!

I wish I could tell them everything will be fine by the time they wake up tomorrow, but it won’t.

I wish I could ease their burden by taking away or fixing some significant part of their problems, but that’s just not possible.

I wish I knew exactly the right words to say: one magic phrase to help them through this. Sadly, I’m not magician.

It’s a horrible thing to be going through for anyone. I feel terrible that there’s no way I can fix things for them and make everything better. Even sending money would only bring mild and very temporary relief. The only thing I can offer them that will make a difference, is my time. By talking through with them what undoubtedly must feel like one of the worst times in their life.

I know for sure that when I went through hard times myself, it wasn’t so much what people said, but that they still wanted to talk to me. My friends and family didn’t have all the answers. Often they struggled to fully understand how much pain and suffering I was going through.

But the fact that they tried made the world of difference.

Out of all the conversations, there will be that one word or idea that seemed to provide just a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Talking to them was often uncomfortable as I would have to be more open and honest than I would really have liked, and I’m sure at times, they felt that way too.

I realised that it was those people that were my light at the end of the tunnel. Without them I would have never found my way out. I hope, in some way, I can be that light for my friends who are in need right now.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

As part of being a member of the BNI (Business Networking International) I’m entitled to some quite good training events. I’ve recently attended their new members training and during that session they also talked about how to prepare for your 60 seconds. The type of information you should be looking to cover and how to structure it best. So with my new found leaning from the course I went home and put together my 60 second speech.It really surprised me at how differently I had to write to make it work. Writing for an article to be read, is totally different to writing something that is going to be spoken out loud. I had to really simplify my language so that each word flowed into the next. Any time I practised the speech I would find a spot that I would have difficultly in saying, so I’d see if I would simplify it more. I tested the speech out on a couple of friends who helped me tweak it some more and timed me to make sure I was hitting as close as possible to the 60 seconds.

Last Friday I went to the BNI group again and used my 60 second speech. I was almost dead on the 60 seconds and had just a few seconds to ad lib at the end. I was delighted. It wasn’t the most exciting 60 seconds, but it was effective, it covered all the points and was fluid. So how does this relate to personal development you ask?

Well this type of action is a fantastic way of building your confidence in an area that you feel needs a bit of work. By giving it a format, a structure that covers everything it needs, you are giving yourself a basic template also known as a Boilerplate. The purpose of this isn’t to then use it permanently unchanged. The idea is that once you have the basic format in plate you DO change it.

Your boilerplate is your base line, your starting point, not your end point. From your boilerplate you know what must be in place, from there as you grow in confidence and your skills develop, you can adapt it. Either with some additional preparation or, if you feel daring enough, on the fly and ad lib some new bits into it each time you use your boilerplate. That way you have something to fall back on it things go a bit wry.

Have a think about some of the places you are already using a boilerplate. Maybe cooking your favourite meal, each time you make it, it’s somehow a little different. Going to the gym, you have a basic routine that you follow, but each time you go you do something else to liven it up. Even at work you may produce the same report on a regular basis but each time you do it, you find a new and more efficient way to do some part of it. By having that boilerplate, a base line to work from, you know what to do. After a while of using that base line your creative side starts to kick in.

Although having the boilerplate may initially seem a bit restrictive and even dull, it helps you put in place the foundation upon which you can build. By having the initial structure in place, your creative side is engaged, and before you know it, new ideas are flowing. You begin to tweak things here and there. If you can think about an area of your life or a task that you need to do and you are struggling with it, think about creating a boilerplate for it. Then watch it blossom into a creative and unique tool that you can flexibly use everyday.

Just for a giggle, I’ve recorded my speech onto YouTube. I still need to use it a few more times and be able to recall it without having to read my notes. The important thing is it’s a start and from there it can only get better.

ENJOY! And please do feel free to comment, I’d love to get some feed back on how to improve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYVBOYXFnng

“Ok. here is something that I can use some help with. I’m a ‘fixer’ I like to help as much as possible. The problem is that my wife has cancer and this is something I can’t fix. I want to help but not sure what I can do other than being supportive (which to me isn’t enough). So can you advise a fix for a fixer?”

Sam and I (Paul) talked about the topic and both thought it through for a week before recording this podcast. It was quite different to our normal ones, but I hope you find it interesting.

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If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Look familiar?

We’ve all felt those undeniable feelings: total and utter exhaustion, apathy, emotional shutdown and numbness; no energy, combined with mental and physical meltdown. It ain’t pretty and it sure as hell ain’t fun. Take a sledgehammer to your brain – and then some. Plus the awful dawning realisation that doing it all is, quite frankly, impossible. At which point those gnawing feelings of guilt, futility and uselessness kick in. We attack ourselves for not being able to achieve what we’d set out to do. What a beautiful vicious circle! What total lack of vision and self-care.

Today, these feelings aren’t just the preserve of overworked executives, working mums and over achievers, increasingly children are actually complaining of being overwhelmed, of having too much to do! How sad is that? In our manic world of human doings, we are running ourselves and our offspring ragged.

Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., a child psychiatrist and author of The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap, believes that enrolling children in too many activities outside of school can actually lead to children becoming clinically depressed. “Parents feel remiss that they’re not being good parents if their kids aren’t in all kinds of activities. Children are under pressure to achieve, to be competitive.”

Good stress
Some stress is actually beneficial – the flight or flight mechanism actually helps us in certain situations. An increased heart rate and a system flooded with adrenalin certainly helps us to get that project in on time, or avoid hitting the car that’s pulled out in front of us. Or escape a horde of wild elephants. But to be in permanent state of red alert stretches our minds and bodies to breaking point, and is fundamentally damaging to our psyche. Such activity impairs our immune system and prematurely ages us. Nice.

Constant activity
Some of us are juggling jobs, children, husbands/wives, relatives, childcare, friends and running a home. That takes a hell of a lot of energy, not to mention organisation. Many women, especially, never find the time to re-connect with themselves and their energy source. We are often running on empty. Something has to give. We’ve long since realised that the Superwoman myth is just that. And a hollow one to boot! Many people like to fill their free time with constant activity, or simply can’t say no to others’ demands. All habitual ways of avoiding being fully present with oneself.  At huge cost.

Ways to offload and reconnect
Sit down. Shut the door. Take the phone off the hook and take time to consider which areas of your life are out of balance. Be very honest. Then simply take the necessary steps to restore equilibrium.

1. Ask for help. Too many of us believe we have to do it alone. Or we’ll get the job done faster and more efficiently if we do it all ourselves. Drop the desire to control and trust others to help. It works. Delegate – at work and at home. Asking someone for help provides them with an opportunity to give. You are acknowledging them – soul to soul.

2. Reduce caffeine intake. And avoid self-medication to help you relax. A walk in the local park, or a day at the seaside will be far more restorative on your nervous system than several beers, a spliff or some nicotine. Resist the urge for a quick fix. Like sugar, it’s a temporary jolt and you’ll feel like crap afterwards.

3. Do nothing! When was the last time you just sat down and did nothing? Thought nothing? Try it today. Sit in a café for 5 minutes, grab a coffee and watch the world go by. Preferably in silence and alone. The point is to recharge not expend your energy. Or if you have a garden, sit outside and just look at the plants, the clouds. Simply. Do. Nothing.

4. Slow down. Find ways to relax in a healthy way. Do some deep breathing. For overstretched parents: research says that what children need most are relationships, not activities,” says Rosenfeld. “Focus on building meaningful relationships with your children, not becoming their chauffeur.”

5. Talk to someone. Sharing our anxieties with supportive and loving friends and partners makes dealing with the issues so much easier and less overwhelming. Share the load!

6. Take regular exercise. Release some feel-good endorphins via any form of exercise that you enjoy. Give your heart and your lungs a good workout. Swimming is great as it calms the nervous system.

7. Prioritise your tasks. As the saying goes, How do you eat an elephant? One foot at a time. Don’t waste time sharpening your pencil when you have a huge pile of tax returns to fill in. And stop all the procrastination As Brian Tracy so aptly suggests in his great book, Eat That Frog. Every morning consider the tasks overloading you (frogs). Then simply eat the fattest and ugliest frog first. Which task, when completed will give you the most impact?

Good luck!

Whilst the perfectionist or overachiever in us cringes at the thought of requesting assistance and sharing the load, our controlling aspects can feel desperate and frustrated, and this seems to add to our stress and uncertainty.

Yet receiving help can be both a miracle and a gift – helping us to make progress and overcome challenges, whilst empowering the giver-of-help with a sense of achievement and purpose. They say two heads are better than one, so Gina & Sam put theirs’ together to explore just why asking for help is so hard, and how we can take small steps towards fruitful collaboration.