What if that kindness made someone else happy too?

And what if that happiness was contagious – so that one small act of kindness could spread happiness not just to 2 people, but to the friends of friends of both those people? How cool would that be?!

Research shows that happiness IS contagious. It is also a skill that can be learnt, and is not set in stone by genetics or upbringing.

Happiness is hard to define, but one thing it is not is a final destination to be arrived at. It is something we all seek continuously, yet we don’t always achieve; and there are times when we can feel decidedly unhappy.

Maybe it is because we are looking in the wrong places. Or maybe we’re just focusing on the wrong things…

This was what I was contemplating as Mark Williamson spoke as part of a session entitled The Happiness Factor at the British Science Festival in Bradford last week. Mark was speaking in his capacity as the Director of Action for Happiness, and if I was excited about his talk – I was delighted to discover the website!

And as my act of kindness today I wanted to share it with you all.

Earlier this morning I would have said I was feeling unhappy – I wasn’t even sure I could write a blog post, let alone an inspiring one. But after exploring the Action for Happiness site, it is funny how my mood has changed!

At ActionPodcast we believe we always have a choice about our reactions, and we believe that small actions can lead to significant results. But even for us it can be easy to forget at times.

So I love that Action for Happiness blends passion and purpose; action steps with inspiration; science with community. I encourage you to explore the 10 Keys to Happier Living, watch some of the short videos and choose one action to take within the next 24 hours.

Let’s be part of a happiness virus – it is a great gift to ourselves as well as to share!

Signs your life is out of balance
I always know my life is out of whack when I start to feel any – or all – of the following:
1. overwhelmed.
2. irritable and short-tempered.
3.  overly emotional.
4.  angry and unable to concentrate or complete tasks.
5.  forgetful.
6.  exhibit passive aggressive behaviour (ouch!)
7.  feel constantly stressed – like having 10 cups of coffee.
8.  my breathing is shallow and rapid.
9.  my boundaries are unclear and i say “yes” when I really mean “no”.
10. I feel sad or depressed.
11.  I am constantly comparing myself to those who are appearing to ‘do more’ with their time.
12.  There is no creativity or play in my life.
13.  I’m involved in either too much work or too much play.
14.  I have no energy and am constantly tired.

How to tell when your life IS balanced
I know I’m in balance when I am expressing my fun, my creativity and feel in the flow with life. When life, in spite of its inherent challenges, is still flowing and is often effortless. I know when I’m in balance when I exercise, eat healthy food and take care of myself. If I’m not taking care of myself, then I can’t take care of my partner, my friends or my family. I know I’m in balance when I’m not worrying and angsting over everything, I’m not in denial; there is just a calmness about my actions. And I am very clear about boundaries and manage to articulate them to colleagues and loved ones.

How to get your life back in balance
The key here is actually being consciously aware that your life is out of balance in the first place. For some of us, working a 60-hour week is normal. Having no free time is normal. Sorry folks, it may be ‘normal’ but it sure ain’t healthy. To fully express all of you – left and right brain – we need balance in our lives.

Firstly, find out where your life is out of balance. I get clients to draw a circle, then divide it up into the following areas: Family/Work/Partner/Exercise/Friends/Spirituality/Me Time. Then write down what percentage of your time you are giving to each area. You might be surprised at the results!

Depending which areas are the most out of whack, write down some easy action steps to creating equilibrium. You could combine exercise with family time by an afternoon at your local pool. Or combine friends and spirituality by going to a workshop together.

Benefits of being in balance
Generally, I feel happier and more relaxed, which then has a positive effect on everyone I come into contact with. If we are feeling calmer we will inspire others to seek more balance in their own lives. I can think more clearly and make more congruent decisions that are beneficial. Decisions that are not fear-based but are more intuitive and self-serving. One great benefit of being in balance is that I am much more aware of my body and its messages. Often our heads overrule the body. Listening to your body can be extremely beneficial. It speaks the truth!

Here are a couple of great quotes that always remind me about balance in my life:
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythmn and harmony” Thomas Merton

“Man always travels along precipes. His truest obligation is to keep his balance”
Pope John Paul II

All done in an attempt to get the smaller, mundane (or urgent) things off your plate so you can settle down into your day and finally get to the important stuff.

It’s a strategy most of us use on a regular basis – but for most of us, it’s flawed. And usually painfully so.

While this approach often feels like the best thing to do, how often do you actually get to the most important items? Chances are, it’s rare and often at a cost.

The time cost of sacrificing our evenings with family or friends because you need to work a bit later as more little things came up during the day and you didn’t finish what you wanted to.

The attention cost of being distracted with other people’s demands or urgent problems which never allow you to be fully engaged and focused when you finally get the space to do the really valuable things.

The energy cost of being tired, drained or completely exhausted by the time you get to what matters most, causing you to put it off to another day.

And all these costs add up to a dramatic reduction in your productivity and performance.

So what is the alternative?

It’s a standard approach of the top performers, a key strategy of the world’s most productive leaders…and a simple enough idea that everyone can do.

For a rapid boost in your personal performance do the “first things first”.

Popularised in many books, including Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy and Be Excellent at Anything by Tony Swartz and Jean Gomes, the ‘first’ is the task, project, or issue that has the highest value and impact for you. This could be related to your professional or personal life.

How you define highest value and impact will be unique to you and will vary from week to week but there will always be one, two or three items that deserve the greatest care since they will give you (and your team or family) the biggest return.

At work, it’s often the things that require the most thinking time and full engagement for you to properly work through it.

Commonly, it’s the items that will give you the greatest long-term rewards and success, and doesn’t have short-term urgencies.

Usually, these will be the items you consistently neglect….since you “never have time to do what’s important”.

Hmmm…sound familiar?

Doing it “first” means to proactively and decisively commit to the first 30, 60 or 90 minutes of your day to focusing on nothing but the most important things.

Write a few pages of your book. Develop a long-term strategy for growing your business this year. Spend time on the looming performance appraisal of your key team members. Make that appointment or call an out-of-touch friend. Exercise.

Don’t turn your computer on if you don’t have to and certainly don’t open your email.

Complete focus.

How productive would that be?

How invigorating would that be?

How rewarding and fulfilling would that be?

If this is a scary thought for you, start small. Try it out just one day this week. Tell others you’re only available after a certain time.

I’m sure you’ll quickly notice the benefits you get and will be encouraged to do this more often and for longer periods.

Are you willing to give it a try? Are you willing to add more value, create more enjoyment and experience a boost in your performance?

Let us know how this worked for you and share other ideas to boost your performance.

Chris and Gina discuss three simple steps to honestly re-evaluate your dedication level and how you can make committing to a project or goal something fun instead of a chore.

They reference the book :59 seconds by Richard Wiseman

It’s a concept you’ve probably never considered, but the payoff is huge.

Which thoughts and words?

The most expensive words you’ll ever utter are the excuses you use to rationalise not doing the things you know need to be done.

But guess what? You probably have just a few (instead of dozens) different and recurring excuses you repeatedly use to get out of doing what needs to be done. If you make a shift and eliminate those, you’ll experience a tremendous boost in progress and happiness.

The bad news? You might not be aware of these thoughts and words in the moment because they seem so natural, so appropriate and so accurate and rational for what you feel. Yet, when you stop and reflect on them you’ll see them for what they are – just excuses that give you permission to stay in your comfort zone.

What’s more, you’ve probably been nurturing these excuses for so many years that they’ve become ingrained in your psyche and happen in a flash — stopping you in your tracks, and shutting down your growth without you even noticing what’s happened.

Understand this: These thoughts and words are preventing you from getting what you want.

Said another way: these are the excuses that are keeping you from your dreams; that create chronic internal conflicts (which pull your heart, head and gut in three different directions); that shatter your confidence and self-esteem; that train you to play smaller than you are capable of; that zap your energy and optimism for your life.

Yes, it’s true, these little thoughts and words are that costly and dangerous.

The good news? Once you see – and accept – these words for what they are, they lose their power over you and you stop thinking away your success. Which means you achieve and become much more when these thoughts disappear.

So, what should you do about this?

Do not to place judgement on yourself. Simply start your log with “I’m noticing that I usually/often/sometimes…“

Awareness is always the starting point so I strongly encourage you to start making notes, keeping a log of the excuses (…you may find you’ve been calling them ‘reasons’…) you use for not doing what you know you should do. Take regular notes, or put it in your journal, or create a ‘draft’ email you can quickly open and jot them down, whatever works for you to capture the thought in the moment. But don’t try to be perfect, just start doing it and adapt as you go.

Stop the cycle of excuses and take this small action now – don’t put this off – do this for yourself.  This is too important to delay.

Another key point is not to place judgement on yourself. Simply start your log with “I’m noticing that I usually/often/sometimes…” Just capture what you notice on reflection and reject the temptation to rationalise your rationalisation of these thoughts.

Over time, and possibly quite quickly, you’ll realise you have your own personal ‘choice excuses’.

Why do you set an early alarm and hit snooze for an hour?

Why do you bring your workout clothes to work but never make it to the gym?

Why do you not pick up the phone and ask for the sale instead of hiding behind the safety curtain of email?

Why don’t you tell your partner how you really feel when he/she does that?

Your excuses will be personal to you, but they here are some thought starters to help you recognise them:

• If I don’t check my email one more time before going to bed…
• I can’t start ______ until I am totally organised…
• I can’t start saving until I make more money because….
• I’ve done enough today already…
• I need to be more prepared before I…
• Only when things calm down at work can I….
• I know this food won’t help me achieve my health goals but I deserve it because…
• I never have enough time to….
• I’m too tired to do this now, I’ll do it tomorrow when I feel better…
• My relationship will improve when they….
• And so on…

You don’t need a list that long, and you’ll quickly realise there are 3 or 4 excuses that come up the most often.

The next step, once you’ve identified your ‘choice excuses’, is to remain highly sceptical of their truthfulness and to challenge your automatic response to them. You now recognise them as excuses that prevent you from making real progress. You now are able to loosen their grip on your behaviour. YOU now have the power to make better decisions and take more purposeful action that will lead you closer to your dreams.

So the next time they surface, flip these excuses of why you can’t into reasons of why you MUST take action now if you are going to achieve the success you desire.

Leave a comment below to share what you learned from this and what excuses you now see are holding you back. We’d love to hear from you.

One-tenth of 2011 is now gone. How was it for you?

Are you off to a flying start like an Olympic sprinter? Are you really making an effort to do what you want to do? Having more fun, checking off your to-do list with a steady flow of energy and optimism?

Or are you still stuck in the starting blocks? Putting off what really matters to you or perhaps waiting for some issues to clear before starting on your goals for the year? Maybe just postponing real action until you ‘feel more motivated’?

What you do, and how you behave in the first 1/10^th of the year can create massive momentum for the remaining 90% — both positive and encouraging momentum to continue to build on, and sluggish downward-spiral momentum that’s often hard to break away from.

Either way, the past has passed, and what’s done is done. The great news is there is still 90% of the year remaining!  So if you’re not off to an inspiring start, use today as your new beginning and promise yourself not to waste another minute!

It just comes down to the decisions we make right now: do I want more out of this year than last? How would I feel this time next year if I don’t try harder now? I will accept responsibility for my own success and happiness and make sure to take the actions necessary to making this a successful, happy, fun and exciting year and finally take control of living the life I want.

If you’re not sure where to get started, stay tuned for an exciting announcement from ActionPodcast.

This year at ActionPodcast, we have made the same promise – we are going to walk more of our walk and make the most of the next 90%, here’s our commitment: to do more to help you create extreme positive momentum in your life; encourage and inspire you to stay on track and on target for your ambitions and dreams; continue to help you get back up and dust yourself off whenever you fall down and life gets overwhelming.

And of course, there are loads of new helpful blog posts and insightful podcasts on our website to make sure you stay on path for taking everyday action in order to create a year you can really be proud of.  We’ll do it together.

Decide today to do one thing, just one small action right now, that will move you closer to what you want, and soon you’ll be doing more and more things that accelerate your success.

Leave a comment to let us know how your first 10% has been – good or bad – and how you’re going to make the next 10% even better.

At the same time, we don’t often think about what being mentally healthy is like either, or what our mental health can actually mean for our daily lives. Join Paul and Sam for this podcast ‘experiment’ as they explore what their own personal definitions are – and give you the opportunity to discover yours.

We all experience life’s ups and downs, and go through periods of stress; so what if there was a personal checklist just for you that could help you cope with those experiences a bit better?

Let’s find out! Ideally, you’ll need to have 1-2 minutes where you can pause the podcast at the appropriate point and jot down a few ideas in response to a question. If that isn’t convenient, then do try to make time to find your own answers later on – as they’ll be much more meaningful for you and will hopefully give you a blueprint or some signposts to come back to and take action on.

We would love to hear whether you’ve found this experiment helpful or not, so please let us know! If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review, and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly.

MOST OF US know that happiness really does come from within – not without. Our acquisitive culture has made us only too aware of the transient nature of short-term, external fixes. Like a Chinese meal, we’re all too often left hungry after feasting at the table of consumerism!

And certainly no one else can make us happy. What a massive and unrealistic responsibility to place upon another human being. Not to mention totally unrealistic.

Nope, we have to get the happiness pill all by ourselves…

And the secret of happiness? Change your thoughts. Nothing outside of you has the power to make you intrinsically happy. You can choose happiness, or you can choose to dwell on people and situations that bring you down. I’ve certainly played with this myself and although it takes some practice to get out of negative habits, focusing on more positive things really does work. Ditto gratitude. When life takes you down, have a look around and acknowledge all the truly wonderful things you have to be thankful for. Roll around and luxuriate on the grass you’re on now. It’s not always greener the other side!

I’m quoting Dale Carnegie here as he sums up the whole happiness issue perfectly, with a nod to the Bard and one very popular former US president. Happy Easter!

Everybody in the world is seeking happiness – and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. ‘There is nothing either good or bad,’ said Shakespeare, ‘but thinking makes it so.’
Abe Lincoln once remarked that ‘most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.’
DALE CARNEGIE