Every time I received these kinds of answers I had to remind the client that coaching is all about taking action; simply stating what you want to be or have (or feel) isn’t going to make it happen.  Only an action that you carry out will help to create your desired end result.

A classic answer from some clients that state intention but not action are:-

• I just need to be more confident
• I want to work on being more understanding
• I want to feel more comfortable in this situation
• I’m going to be more proactive
• I going to stop smoking

All of these statements came from clients when I asked them what action they were going to take over the following week. None of these answers are statements of action; they are all intentions or desired results.

It’s great to have clarity around the result you want, but without knowing how you are going to achieve it you’ll end up putting all your hopes into something just ‘happening like magic’. Just because you said it.

Intentions or statements of a desired result often contain the words “BE”, “HAVE”, “FEEL”, “WANT” or “NEED”.

If you find that when you are setting yourself actions to progress, you are using the above words then chances are you aren’t setting yourself an achievable action. This makes it impossible to complete, so it’s guaranteed to fail.

Make sure you are setting yourself real actions by following these simple steps:-

1. Think of your action as being something physical you have to do.
2. Your action should be something that takes a certain amount of time. It can be just a few minutes or even seconds, but if you can’t imagine how long it will take then it’s not an action!
3. Research is still action! Talking to others about something or looking up more information is still 100% better than just wishing something will occur. Schedule time in your diary and talk over things with a good friend – preferably a good listener.

So once you have decided what you want to “BE” or “HAVE”, consider what is it that you are actually going to “DO” about it.

Remember, just taking ONE small action is infinitely more effective than just thinking about it!

Last week I did my first speech – The Icebreaker.

It’s good title for the first Toastmaster speech and one that every new Toastie probably dreads. I know I’d been thinking about doing mine for a month or two, before finally pushing myself out of my comfort zone and onto the floor at this week’s meeting.

The Icebreaker is your chance to tell your fellow club members a little about yourself and practice your speaking skills (from 4 to 6 minutes). You will also get positive and constructive feedback on the skills you already have, and those you need to work on a little. One of the major things I love about Covent Garden Toastmasters is the incredibly supportive environment. Everyone wants you to do well and with a philosophy of commend, recommend, commend, you can’t go wrong.

Here’s what the official Toastmasters manual has to say about the Icebreaker:

For your first speech project, you will introduce yourself to your fellow club members and give them some information about your background, interests, and ambitions. Practice giving your speech to friends or family members, and strive to make eye contact with some of your audience. You may use notes during your speech if you wish. Read the entire project before preparing your talk.

Objectives
 • “Break the ice” – To begin speaking before an audience by introducing yourself to fellow Club members.
 Begin to understand what strengths you already have, and areas that require particular emphasis in your speaking development.
 Time: Four to six minutes.

For my own Icebreaker, I decided to share some brief details about my background (long lists of ‘I did this’ and ‘I studied that’ can get a little boring, I feel) together with a memorable moment from my past. Thanks to help from my mentor, plus a few tips gleaned from a couple of great books, I remembered to warm up my voice beforehand, breathe (in as well as out) and have some strong coffee to keep me awake (It was 7am!).

I’m happy to say it all went even better than I imagined and I didn’t have to forage in my pocket for notes. The feedback I received was very encouraging and gave me great advice for my future speeches, one of which was to ensure I finish with a strong and relevant ending.

Here are a few of my own tips for those of you about to break the ice:

1.    Prepare your beginning and your ending first. They need to be strong to engage your audience, and leave them wanting more at the end.

2.    Make sure your story has a structure. Avoid taking your audience up the garden path – and leaving them there!

3.    Don’t try to memorise every word. It’s your story, so no one will know if you bend it like Beckham and ad lib here and there. Go with the flow.

4.    Try to vary you pitch and tone. Use pauses for emphasis. Pausing also gives you time to breathe and gather your thoughts. It also stops you from panicking. It certainly helped me!

5.    Engage your audience through eye contact. People love to be acknowledged. Obviously avoid headless chicken and 360-degree head movements or mad stares. Just pick a few people across the room and hold their gaze for a few seconds.

6.    Imagine you are speaking to just a few of your friends.

7.    Avoid hand-clasping in front of you, or windmill arms. It can be distracting for the audience. Keep your hands loosely by your sides and use them for emphasis or illustration only.

Please write in and let us know your own experience of Toastmasters, or if you’ve overcome the fear of public speaking! We’d love to hear from you.

During a recent session it quickly became clear that I was on the verge of taking on too much. Over the last few months the power of being coached has resulted in some significant changes in my life and how I view situations. I’d been actively putting in a lot of work, spinning a lot of plates and generally been about as busy as I could physically be.

What surprised me was that I’ve now reached a point where pretty much everything is going to plan, on track and on schedule. I found myself looking for that extra thing that would put me back into the sensation of feeling, well rushed, busy and on the edge of coping.

I had become so used to “working my butt off” that now I had been able to schedule things better, automate them or even outsource them (my new favourite thing!) I was presented with a strange feeling of “what next?”!

Thankfully working with my coach I was able to see that, I was busy, very busy in fact. I was however, working smarter, better than before and I was now producing the results without having to work 16 hours a day. Ultimately I want to keep it this way, working at a pace that is healthy and even FUN!  As long as I’m still progressing, make moves in the direction that I want to go at a pace that works, then I’m doing the right thing.

I’d love to hear from others that have almost become so used to feeling rushed, that they often end up missing that feeling when everything is going to plan. What do you do to make sure you don’t overload yourself, just because you feel you should. How do you know when enough is enough?

Research shows that people that are stressed and overwhelmed spend less than 25% of their time on things that are fulfilling to them. This can be at work and at home and at play. Are you being distracted from the important? Under demand from other people’s requests? Under delusion that the majority of your time on certain tasks is the best or fastest way to achieve your desired outcome? Of course, we all spend time in these phases, and indeed we need to spend time on the not-so-urgent-or-important duties during our days and weeks.

But every once in a while we need to take a step back. When is the last time you stopped? Took stock of where your time and attention is going, and should go? What is working for you (i.e. when are you at your best, where are you most productive and/or fulfilled, how are you managing your time and attention, where are you not coping as well as you’d like to)?

By the way, this doesn’t need to be a deep, soul-searching exercise. It can be a simple health check or audit of what’s happening right now in your life and what you could do to improve and increase your happiness or zest for life, work, family, friends, community, spirituality, and so on.

It’s a simple exercise of looking back on recent times and asking yourself the questions above. In just a few minutes of honest reflection your 20/20 hindsight will provide great foresight on how to easily and effortlessly take steps towards improvement and progress.

Do this without harsh judgment or beating yourself up for things that aren’t quite where you want them to be, just the process of this simple task will take you that much closer to everything you want to achieve. Even if you’ve struggled for a while or know you’ve procrastinated on making a change – that’s life, you’re human just like me. So if your initial reaction is self-blame or doubt, change it instead to one of gratitude that you care enough about yourself and are willing to live life more on your terms. Take the time to stop, acknowledge where you’d like to improve, and simply turn your attention to helpful and easy ways to take immediate steps in the right direction.

Here’s a simple guide (and secret of highly productive and consistent producers of excellence) on how and when to do this:

One minute per day: Before you lay your head on your pillow, reflect on the day and ask, ‘What was great about today?’ How can I make tomorrow even better?’ Be specific in your answers. Simple, easy, wonderfully rewarding.

One hour per week: Schedule and commit to one hour per week to reflect back on the previous week. How did you do? Did you complete what you wanted to? Did you get the outcomes you were hoping for? What can you do differently to effectively and efficiently manage your days/time/attention/energy this upcoming week? What are your priorities and outcomes for next week? Personally, I find first thing Saturday morning a great time to do this.

One day per quarter: Schedule and commit to one full day every three months to reflect back on the previous 90 days. Where have you seen great results and progress? What are the trends in how or where you under-delivered against your expectations? What can you start doing, or better yet, what will you commit to changing during the next 90 days. Be sure to look at all major areas of your life: health & vitality, finances & wealth creation, relationships with your partner & friends (separate out your partner from other friends or family), hobbies & interests, spirituality & community. You can also expand this to include your relevant professional categories. Make it a fun exercise and engage others in the hindsight and foresight exercise where appropriate. One full day might seem like a lot…but how much will you gain over the next 90 days from a 6-8 hour investment in planning ahead. (Hint: far more than you can imagine!). Personally, the last Friday or Saturday of March, June, September, December are great triggers to remind me to do this. You can also use the first day of Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter.

One weekend per year: A lot can happen in your life (and a lot can be delayed) in a year so it — and living the life that you want and deserve (!) — demands quality reflection and projection forward. Schedule and commit to two days at the end of the year to reflect on your previous goals and desires for the past year, the victories and defeats, the joys and sorrows. Where are you versus where you expected to be? What is going to make the next year different? Who are you becoming? How can you change or grow to become the person you want to be? What 20/20 hindsight can you use as foresight for an extraordinary year ahead? How much could you set yourself on an exciting and rewarding path with two full days of stopping, reflecting and planning ahead? (Hint: far more than you can imagine!)

20/20 hindsight is always there. So is your ability to reflect on these insights and turn them into powerful and empowering foresight for designing and living the life you’ve always imagined.

Start treating yourself to this gift today.

Chris

One thing to really make clear is that it’s a two way street!

We love to hear from our listeners or website visitors on their stories. What troubles they are experiencing. How they have overcome adversity and triumphed!

There are a whole bunch of ways you can contact us and it means so much to us when you do!

You can email us by filling out the contact form on each of the presenters’ bio pages, or just add our first name to the start of the email @actionpodcast.com.

If it’s regarding a specific blog post or podcast then you can add a comment directly to that post.

You can even post a review on iTunes itself (we especially love 5 star reviews )

To make sure you receive all the new content as it’s published you can subscribe to our email newsletter. Don’t worry we hate spam just as much as you do. The only thing you’ll ever be sent is updates to our blogs or podcasts.

Share the LOVE! Do you know someone that would be interested in some of the topics that we have covered or personal development in general? Then why not pop them an email with our web address and have them check out the latest podcast on iTunes?

Why not drop us an email today with what’s going on in your life and ask us what topics you’d like some help or direction on? We promise to keep your email and identity private and confidential. We’ll always check with you first before discussing anything on the website or podcast.

Whether you are a personal development Guru or just thinking about making changes in your life for the better, you have a friend in the business! Action Podcast would love help you anyway we can.

Ways to contact ActionPodcast

1. Use the contact form on the presenters’ Bio page, Paul, Gina, Sam, Chris
2. Email a presenter directly, put their name in front of @actionpodcast.com
3. Use the comment form at the bottom of every page
4. Post a review on iTunes
5. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter which contains comment and email links

We look forward to hearing from you!

How is it that millions of people want something that is important to them, is absolutely possible to achieve, will provide tremendous benefits and rewards, yet they fail so miserably at getting what they want?

Here are three key reasons why New Year’s resolutions don’t work:

1) Most resolutions are made in response to something negative. Lose weight, get out of debt, stop smoking. They are based on a habit or situation someone wants to change or end. While these are valid things to change, it’s really hard to build momentum by ending something negative. It requires focus on something you don’t want.

2) Most people don’t understand what it takes to truly create lasting change or results. Resolutions and goal are just words, but results require action – and usually consistent and massive action. Most people want something big to change yet don’t get crystal clear on what action will be required, what new information or knowledge they need, what new skills they need or what old habits must be broken that will hold them back. Trying harder is never the solution, trying different is.

3) Most people don’t establish the right environment of support for the goal. After bolding claiming to themselves and their friends what they will do, most people try (or suffer) in private to make the change. Combined with points 1 and 2 above, without effective influence, support, collaboration it can be a daunting challenge that can quickly lose momentum.

2010 doesn’t have to be this way for you. Here’s a quick solution for your resolutions:

1) Describe a compelling outcome you really want. Rather than losing 20 lbs, turn it to the positive: I want to be a vibrant and healthy 120lbs so I can play with my children for hours, wear that slinky dress and have more energy to give to my partner.

2) Write down exactly WHAT you want, and describe in detail WHY that is important. When you get really connected to the WHY, that’s when the energy, enthusiasm and excitement builds. Then detail the HOW, the specific steps and actions you need to take. Complete it with a measurable timeframe. Most importantly, review your top goals daily, and all goals monthly to keep you on track.

3) Create an empowering environment around you. Supportive friends, daily reminders posted on your wall or mirror, throw away all junk food, de-clutter your home to give you more focus. If those goals are really compelling, you will do whatever it takes to ensure you make consistent progress towards your goals.

If you’re not already subscribed to Action Podcast, you can do so on the right side of this page. You’ll receive weekly inspiration, insights and motivation to keep you going from four experienced coaches. That’s another way to keep you on track, on purpose and energized throughout the entire process.

Best wishes for a successful and rewarding 2010!

All these questions and more are answered in this podcast with Chris and Paul.

In this show Sam and Paul go though some of the pros and the cons of giving advice and when not to. It can be confusing knowing when to give or receive advice, so giving people the heads up before you start can make the whole conversation take on a different slant. We also cover how to deal with unwelcome advice without burning your bridges and upsetting people, which can all too easily happen as you’ll hear!

Fear not, my friend. There is a better strategy to find that motivation, and more precisely, to discover your ultimate motivation.

There are four dimensions to motivation as illustrated in the graphic on the right. Let me explain.

4 dimensions of motivation

External motivation comes from things or people outside of you, such as your family, your boss, and the economy. Are you going through med school because your parents want you to be a doctor? Are you motivated to save money because there is a recession?

Internal motivation comes from within you, when you are inspired to do what you want to do and go after things that are important to you. You exercise because it makes you feel healthy and vibrant, you apply for that job because you like the challenge and growth opportunities.

Push motivation is often doing things because you have to, and if you don’t you’re likely to feel some sort of pain. You stop smoking because your doctor says you’re lungs will stop working, you work extra hours because your boss needs that report done. It’s as if someone (likely yourself) is pushing you from behind. Think of your daily To-Do list! Most of that is likely a ‘push’ to get stuff done.

Pull motivation is usually from doing things because you not only want to but also because you are inspired to. You are literally pulled into that compelling future, like a magnet drawing you towards a really exciting experience, result or achievement. Think about your bigger aspirations like having a beautiful family life, or traveling to new countries to explore and learn about different cultures.

Ok, I get it Chris, so what’s the secret for my ultimate motivation?! (I hear you say…)

Well, we all are influenced by those four dimensions but genuine, heartfelt, from-the-gut, powerful, inspirational, and lasting motivation will always come from the Internal-Pull quadrant of motivation. When you can generate a vision for what you want in your future – be it related to your health, relationships, financial, career, spirituality, or any big or small aspect of your life – you will find motivation to take action comes swiftly and effortlessly. And THAT is the Ultimate Motivation. The other quadrants will happen as a fact of life. But if you want to grab hold of your life and create the life you’ve always wanted, you have to focus on the Internal-Pull type of motivation with a compelling vision and plan, and stop waiting for someone else to poke you into action.

Ok, I get it Chris, sounds exciting! But how do I do that?! (I hope you say…)

You don’t have to DO anything differently, you just need to THINK differently about the situation. Ask yourself these simple questions and through those answers you can uncover a deeper, more meaningful, longer lasting and inspiring motivation to keep you marching forward towards your dreams.

• What good feelings, outcomes, results will I gain from this situation/experience?
• What bad feelings, thoughts, outcomes will I eliminate from this situation/experience and what will benefits will that bring to my life?

Write down your answers (don’t just think them). Read them out loud daily with full emotion and passion and soon you’ll find you are automatically taking the actions you need to stay on track and inspired.

Leave us a comment and let us know how this works for you.

We are very excited to announce that today, Friday 17 April 2009, Action Podcast enjoyed its 5000th download!

To celebrate, we are offering our listeners a fantastic, motivational offer –  4 FREE telephone coaching sessions with an Action Podcast Coach of your choice!

To make sure you are in with a chance of winning, simply post a comment in the box below, or post an iTunes review, telling us what you most enjoy about actionpodcast.com. On 15 May 2009, we will randomly select one entrant as our 5000th download winner.

So don’t delay! Here’s your chance to get help in turning your life around.
Post a comment below now, or submit a review on iTunes

TERMS AND CONDITIONS
The 4 free coaching sessions will last 45 minutes and must be taken between Monday 20 April and Wednesday 30 September 2009. They will be by phone (if you live in the UK) or by Skype. Due to the global nature of this offer, there are certain restrictions to the time of day that these sessions will be available. The winner will have 7 days to accept their prize or it will be re-drawn and awarded to another listener.

Post your comment now – and make 2009 a year to remember. Good luck!

MOST OF US know that happiness really does come from within – not without. Our acquisitive culture has made us only too aware of the transient nature of short-term, external fixes. Like a Chinese meal, we’re all too often left hungry after feasting at the table of consumerism!

And certainly no one else can make us happy. What a massive and unrealistic responsibility to place upon another human being. Not to mention totally unrealistic.

Nope, we have to get the happiness pill all by ourselves…

And the secret of happiness? Change your thoughts. Nothing outside of you has the power to make you intrinsically happy. You can choose happiness, or you can choose to dwell on people and situations that bring you down. I’ve certainly played with this myself and although it takes some practice to get out of negative habits, focusing on more positive things really does work. Ditto gratitude. When life takes you down, have a look around and acknowledge all the truly wonderful things you have to be thankful for. Roll around and luxuriate on the grass you’re on now. It’s not always greener the other side!

I’m quoting Dale Carnegie here as he sums up the whole happiness issue perfectly, with a nod to the Bard and one very popular former US president. Happy Easter!

Everybody in the world is seeking happiness – and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about. ‘There is nothing either good or bad,’ said Shakespeare, ‘but thinking makes it so.’
Abe Lincoln once remarked that ‘most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.’
DALE CARNEGIE

I call it the 9 week window.

It’s incredibly simple to grasp the concept but it may take a while to put things in to place and reap the benefits. We’ll roughly 9 weeks actually!

• Week 1 (four weeks ago)
• Week 2
• Week 3
• Week 4
• WEEK 5 (You are here! Imagine those maps with a big red arrow)
• Week 6
• Week 7
• Week 8
• Week 9 (four weeks into the future)

The idea is to limit the distance you plan ahead and encourage you to take regular and constant action. As you move from one week to the next fill in the previous week with what you actually did do. Often you’ll find that it’s not until you make a conscious record of your actions that you realize how busy you really have been!

We spend so much time fretting over the future or commiserating the past we can end up finding ourselves a little consumed in that one area. This system will help you to balance your focus evenly and more productively on the future, present and past. Allowing you to plan, take action and enjoy the results all in one.

Start today and put this simple plan in place. To make sure you retain committed and motivated post your plan in the comments section below.

GOOD LUCK!