Take action! Go With The Flow…

go-with-the-flowSounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? We’ve been taught to believe that ‘going with the flow’ means inaction and passivity. Lying back and letting life happen to us, without any sense of direction or will involved. Old hippy dippy stuff.

But the true meaning of the phrase is the exact opposite. When we negotiate a river and go with the flow, we harness the energy that’s already available to us, in the currents. And we combine it with our own. Fighting the current is pointless, as is inaction. To truly go with the flow in life is to notice patterns, energy and circumstances around us – whether they be challenging or easy – and make full use of them. As a result we’ll get to wherever we are going far faster than if we resist.

Going with the flow doesn’t mean we have no idea where we are going. We do. But we remain open to the myriad ways of actually reaching our destination. There is no ‘right way’. Yet for so many of us (me included) our control beliefs all too often dictate the show. We decide on a course of action and come hell or high water we’re gonna stick with it. We have our GPS all worked out and can’t possibly deviate! Our beliefs tell us that unless we are ‘in charge’ we will lose our way, or lose ourselves.

The result of this rigidity? Staying in relationships way past their sell-by date (ouch – done that), jobs that are unfulfilling and drain our life force (tick), and in friendships that no longer serve us (been there too). We rigidly remain tied to plans that simply aren’t working and refuse to budge. Painful.

Recently, I had a plan to move to the south of France, and headed there. But after only a few weeks I realised that this was not the right place for me. I needed to let go of certain constructs and ideas I’d had and allow myself to be guided by my intuition. It didn’t actually bother me that I’d told everyone I was moving there (again) and instead I headed south for Spain and spent a blissful time on the coast at my friend’s wedding. A totally unexpected change of events that was even more wonderful as I got to see a dear friend from New York I hadn’t seen since 2009.

By letting go of my Grand Design, I was able to create space for other, better and more fulfilling opportunities to come into my life. It’s scary stepping into the unknown as it so often feels like a void. But this void is actually pregnant with potential. Trusting that there is a higher force guiding us – if we will only allow it – takes practice and self-awareness. But the more we do it, the more trust we will have in it. And the richer and more fulfilling our lives will be as a result.

This week, take a look and feel into areas of your life where you know you are holding on. Maybe take a different route to work, shake it up a little. Or go for a walk with no destination in mind and simply allow yourself to be guided. Practice going with the flow in your life and you’ll be amazed at the results.

 

 

 

 

 

Rethinking Your Family Roles

Family Tree. VTda.infoFor most of us, we learn our family roles at a young age as we try to discover our place in the world, and they stick with us for the rest of our lives.

But whether good, bad, indifferent or confusing, we don’t have to inherit the roles established through youth or circumstance… we can choose to rethink the roles we want to play within our family.

And ‘family’ can refer to the people you choose to surround yourself with, not just your biological relatives, despite the oft-quoted adage that “you can choose your friends but not your family”. So what are these family roles we adopt, and why would we want to change them?

What are family roles?

I think of them as any physical, emotional or relational tie that we have to our family as a whole, or to individual members. They can be labels we take on, behaviours we repeat or feelings we associate with our family.

An example of some of the roles I’ve inherited are: black sheep, big sister, rule-breaker/boundary-stretcher, courageous (if a little crazy), rebellious daughter, golden granddaughter and international jet-setter. There are many more, and you would perhaps get a different list if you asked my family members to provide it instead, but these are roles that have affected my relationships with all of my family and that I accepted as part of my identity.

It is the last of these – international jet-setter – that has caused me to rethink my family roles recently in my 12th year of living overseas.

Understanding & Changing Them

I realised that part of me had assumed that ‘international’ also meant ‘distant’ Continue reading

The Words and Thoughts That Cost You the Most

Just like the financial loss of a unattended credit card debt or an unused monthly membership, whether you realise it or not, you are paying a significant price for some of your thoughts and words.

It’s a concept you’ve probably never considered, but the payoff is huge.

Which thoughts and words?

The most expensive words you’ll ever utter are the excuses you use to rationalise not doing the things you know need to be done.Continue reading

How Much Uncertainty Can YOU Cope With?

I’m not sure if it’s the time of year, bizarre weather patterns or synchrodestiny, but there are many people in my life – including me – that are experiencing a high level of uncertainty right now.

Uncertainty in whether their surgery will allow them to walk normally again, uncertainty in where their next pay cheque is coming from, uncertainty on whether their role will be eliminated in the corporate reorganisation.

How much uncertainty you can handle has a dramatic impact on the quality of your days, weeks, and life. There are a few powerful distinctions that you need to make to survive times when you don’t know the outcome or Continue reading

Delays are not denials

Do you know that moment when you find out something you’ve been really looking forward to has been cancelled? You’ve been so looking forward to it, building up anticipation, wrapping up your planning and telling your friends all about it? Perhaps a flight for a holiday, a party, a date with someone special, or a new business meeting?

The let down can be very painful and frustrating, sometimes even “devastating”. Or so it seems in the moment. Continue reading

Illness at work

Whether it’s the weather, the time of year, a bug doing the rounds or simply bad luck – we are all likely to be feeling ill and run down from time to time.  So, do you go to work or call in sick? It is not always as straight-forward a question as it seems.

I’ve had sinus troubles again recently. Not an unfamiliar story. Luckily, I managed to minimise the infection this time through some timely use of nasal spray, ibuprofen and a lot of rest over the weekend despite having a list of priority things a mile long to do (including studying for an exam on the Monday).  So I got through the exam, and was back at work feeling a wee bit sorry for myself, but confident that I wasn’t posing any risk to my colleagues. I might not have been the sharpest tack in the building, but I was functioning.

However, there were times in the past when I perhaps didn’t rest; when I kept pushing myself through the things that needed doing and consequently spent weeks recovering from the serious infection that set in. Continue reading

The Fear of Change

At times we all fear change so much that the discomfort of staying where we are seems like the better choice. Paul and Chris discuss how you can disarm those fears and can soon find that adapting to change become second nature and no where near as scary as you first thought.

The Art of Failure

SPECIAL EDITION! Previously unreleased, Paul and Sam have finally decided to share one of the earliest ActionPodcast recordings on a topic close to their hearts! Nearly a year on, it remains really relevant whilst being a ‘blast from the past’ back to our humble beginnings!

Failure almost seems to be another F-word! We’re unlikely to think happy or positive thoughts when we hear it.

A fear of failure can stop us in our tracks, no matter how much we want to do something; and if we’ve already reached a point of failure it can be easy to wish the whole thing never happened. As Paul jokes, sometimes we just want to sweep it under the rug, hoping others haven’t noticed – even trying to convince ourselves that it didn’t occur.

Yet failure can be one of the best teachers if we let it and start thinking about our mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than just a point of pain. Join us in exploring the fabulous art of failure!

Why worry? How to break the cycle and take action

At times we all find ourselves in a state of worry. It can be a very debilitating state and really impact our well-being and prevent us from getting the results we want. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

In this podcast, Chris and Paul discuss how to simply break the cycle of worry in any situation and find a better approach.

After listening to the podcast and trying the suggestions, please leave a comment and let us know how it worked for you. We’d love to hear from you!

If it’s not OK, it’s not the end

Sometimes kids say things that make us laugh because it’s an unexpected phrase from someone so young. Sometimes they say things that show wisdom beyond their years that cause us to stop in our tracks and really think about how we ‘older kids’ behave, view the world and what we believe.

I received a tweet this week which quoted a young girl. This young girl is battling cancer and going through chemotherapy. She told her parents “”Everything will be OK in the end; If it’s not OK, it is not the end”. She also says her mum Continue reading