Resistance to Change: new YouTube video

Do you tend to see resistance to change as a problem to be fixed or an obstacle to be overcome?

If we can change our perspective on it slightly, resistance to change can be useful and positive rather than a hindrance and negative.

Our resistance then becomes a helpful tool or message, and can open up a range of new options.

RESISTANCE TO CHANGE – WHAT IS IT REALLY?

People resist change when they perceive it – consciously or unconsciously – as a threat.

Sometimes, these perceived threats can be quite obvious or easily identified. But these threats and fears can at times be very subtle, hidden or even counter-intuitive – especially when dealing with self growth, personal development or more immediate challenges.

Resistance to change often shows up as an almost physical block – a really strong sensation that wants you to run in the opposite direction or avoid it at all costs!

We don’t always spot the fear that underlies our strong response. It might be triggered by a new idea or a positive change we want to make that somehow threatens our sense of identity, confidence or connection with others.Continue reading

Self Identity – How Flexible Are You?

Sticky NotedSelf Identity refers to an individual’s perception of “self” in relation to any number of characteristics, including but not limited to gender roles and sexuality, racial identity, career choice and many others.

As humans we have a propensity to label everything – and that includes ourselves, even if we don’t always realise it!

Why is self identity important?

Because it isn’t fixed. As we grow and change through our life experiences and relationships, our self identity evolves too.

But ironically, our self identity can feel like the anchor that is supposed to stop us from getting washed away in the flood of change… which is why some of the most difficult points in our lives can feel so painful – because we are unknowingly resisting a shift in our identity, or need to grieve for an identity we are leaving behind.

Our self identity not only allows us to express ourselves as unique and individual, but also as belonging to and connecting with others who share certain aspects of our self identity.

How can we explore it?

A great place to start is with some very simple questions:

  • What do I say when I’m asked to introduce myself in a work or a social setting?
  • What labels or titles do I claim, either jokingly, or within a family/friends context?
  • I am …. (write this out on a piece of paper, repeating the start of the sentence at least 10 times down the page – and complete the sentences!)
  • I am not …. (write this out on a piece of paper, repeating the start of the sentence at least 10 times down the page – and complete the sentences!)

You can also keep an ear out for words you use to describe yourself (like: “Duh, I’m so silly!” or “I’m too old for that!”)

The more aware we are of our self identity and its significance, the more understanding we can be of our past and the more gently we might handle our next wave of self evolution. It might also help us be more flexible as we continue stepping closer to being the person we really want to be.

And for a bit of a laugh and some fun, have a look at some of the fabulous post-it note impressions on Flickr!

Commitment doesn’t have to be scary…

Go slowly - you can trust yourself

COMMITMENT. Even the word strikes fear into the heart of many of us, while others actively search for this Holy Grail – within and without. It makes them feel safe.

Wherever you stand on the ‘C’ word, fear of commitment to a relationship seems to be a major part of many people’s psychological makeup today. Closely followed by fear of commitment to work, to a geographical location, to well, just about anything really. Perhaps we all have a little bit of the high plains drifter in us, whether we actively express it or not. But is this healthy?

Ultimately it’s all about a fear of commitment to ourselves.

Why we won’t commit
Often we fear commitment because we’ve been hurt before – and will do anything to avoid it happening again. We’ve been in relationships whereContinue reading

Resistance to Change – Why it’s good and how to use it

If you change the way you look at things... Most people see resistance to change as a problem to be fixed or an obstacle to be overcome…

But what if resistance to change was useful instead of a hindrance,  positive instead of negative, a gift rather than a curse?

It would certainly take a bit of perspective shifting, but when we can see our resistance as a helpful tool or message, it opens up a whole new range of options and ways forward.

SO WHAT IS RESISTANCE TO CHANGE?

People will resist change when they perceive it as a threat.

In traditional change management, and within organisations, many of these perceived threats can be quite obvious or easily identified. However, when you are dealing with self growth, personal development or more intimate challenges, the threats and fears can be very subtle, hidden or even counter-intuitive.Continue reading

How To Stop Losing Motivation Right Now!

You know the feeling, you start out on a new path to better health, being more organised or some other goal that you know is really important to you.

At the beginning you feel like you’ve thought everything through and you’re really motivated to get going. Everything seems to be going great! Your plans have paid off and your journey towards your goal couldn’t seem easier.

So… why do you begin to slip?

Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity.

You find yourself missing the odd gym session, and not being quite as organised. Whatever it is, you can feel yourself slipping back into your old ways. Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity and before you know it, weeks have passed since you did anything you initially planned so hard for.

Continue reading

Turn Your Warning Signs Into Action

Warning signs serve a purpose: they signal that something needs to change. Yet we can get so caught up in life and its everyday dramas that we sometimes fail to heed the warnings.

In a recent blog post, Chris suggests it is worth reviewing your ‘current life’ twice a year, particularly to take an honest look at which parts are sending you warnings that something isn’t right – and that you might be ignoring!

Join Sam and Chris as they explore some of the ways to spot warning signs using Sam’s real-life experiences as an example, and how even the smallest changes can make a significant difference in helping you turn things around.

P.S. Since recording this, Sam has taken her two actions and really believes it is worth taking action before the warning signs become less subtle!

A Simple Technique to Eliminate Your Excuses

When we get really honest with ourselves, we realise that many of the ‘reasons’ why we haven’t done something, or don’t do what is necessary, are actually ‘excuses’ that we buy into more than we should. In this podcast, Sam and Chris provide a simple yet powerful technique to say goodbye to the barriers we create and hello to empowering action.

Put this technique into practice immediately and you’ll find your barriers are no longer as high or as strong, and taking action becomes a whole lot easier.

We’d love to hear how this works for you and if you have alternative versions that other ActionPodcast listeners would benefit from as well. Leave a comment on this podcast!

Finding Common Ground

During a recent training course Gina experienced a bit of an incident. Even though there was a little disagreement initialLy Gina was able to find a common ground that completely changed the dynamics of their relationship.

Finding common ground with someone can build instant rapport and allow you to connect with people and a much better level. Learning to find the common ground with someone is a skill that anyone can learn to incorporate into their daily lives.

The course Gina mentions is with http://www.darreneden.com

The Illusion of Freedom

What is freedom to you? Financial, emotional, occupational?

Often we hear people say that if they had more money they would be able to do something else; something more exciting or interesting. Or they blame their current circumstances, having to look after the kids, an elderly relative or some other kind of commitment.

All too often we find ourselves holding on to this wishful thought that if we had the freedom, things would be different. Well Paul and Gina are here to tell you that vision of freedom is, in fact, just an illusion. It’s your own way of stopping you from actually fulfilling your dreams.

By sustaining this illusion, people even feel somewhat satisfied that they have already attained their goal, even though it’s just in their mind. This has the added benefit of them never having to go through the hard work and change that might be required to achieve this dream.

So if you often find yourself lost in wishful thinking, it’s time to shatter that illusion and start working towards making it a reality instead.

 

30 Days To Eliminate Stress and Frustration

Often the biggest, most enduring stress and frustration in our lives comes from things we continue to tolerate, but not do something about. In this podcast, Sam and Chris talk about making progress by getting clear and taking action on what you don’t want in your life any longer.

Not just providing a ‘positive thinking’ theory, they guide you through a specific set of actions and provide a simple framework for you to take on a transformational 30 day challenge to eliminate a key stress or frustration from your life.

Listen to the podcast and leave a comment to let us know you’re taking the challenge and how we can help you to succeed.

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