Most of us are convinced that until we believe we can have or manifest the object of our desire, then we ain’t never gonna get it. We’re quite sure that unless we have a positive self-image, we simply can’t have what we’d love.
Recognising that most of us have worth, trust, control, capacity, powerless and not allowed to be capable beliefs, which amplify our “it’s impossible” inner editor, it can often seem an impossibility to manifest our hearts’ desires. No wonder NLP is so popular. Any modality that helps to alter state or model behaviour gives our identities a life raft of significant proportions.
And therein lies our essential conundrum as human beings: we have completely forgotten that we have an innate ability to create – at will. Whether we think we’re a stupid dumbo or we’re God’s gift to the universe. We can create despite our beliefs about ourselves. We are co-creators here on this beautiful planet. In addition to the beliefs we’ve made up about ourselves, parents and schools have also colluded in the drama. We’re told that creating involves ‘sacrifice’, that it’s ‘terribly hard work’, that it takes gargantuan talent, and it usually depends on the largesse of some unforgiving God or unseen forces. Or even worse – we have to go into a peak state and run barefoot across hot coals. Yikes! Not true, my friend. Read more of this article »
We haven’t even reached the end of January, yet so far 2012 has been full of challenges.
I’ve been struggling with the discovery that one of our beloved cats, Patsy, has developed a cancerous growth on her leg. We had been told that it wasn’t the type of tumor that spreads. So the prognosis was that removal of the growth would be relatively easy.
We checked Patsy into the animal hospital early January to undergo surgery that cost more than £2000, and as far as we are concerned, worth every penny. During the operation the surgeon discovered a further two “nodules”, which he also removed and sent off for analysis.
It’s now two weeks since Patsy had her operation and her recovery has been amazing. She’s back to her old bouncy self. However one of the nodules tested positive for cancerous cells – just when we thought everything was going so well. We are now left not knowing if all the tumours have been removed or if they have spread to other places in her body. So we have no idea if Patsy will be with us in 4-6 months time, or live for another 8-9 years.
Coming to terms with not knowing can be a struggle, even at the best of times. When it’s something like this it’s even harder. You don’t know whether to grieve or celebrate and nothing seems to help. We’ve realised that no matter how long the uncertainty lasts, the main priority is for us to enjoy spending time with and loving Patsy – however long she’s got. Whether it’s a few months or a few years, we are now committed to cherishing every moment with her. Read more of this article »
Ever wondered why we can happily spend £200 on something, and then bemoan the £5 cost of something else a short while later?
The types of things we are willing to spend more money on will vary for each of us (e.g. think gadgets, clothes, car, or entertainment), and this is based on more than just the retail value of the product or service.
For the next 30 seconds, think about the main things you spend the most money on and write a short list. You should be able to come up with 3-5 things pretty easily. Include things that you may not purchase very frequently, but that you spend a fair bit on when you do.
I really encourage you to record them in some way – because there’s a lot this list can tell you!
Dr John Demartini talks about the correlation between what we spend our money on, and what our values are.
What is the point of making new year’s resolutions, intentions, or ambitions for you?
Are they to achieve something important? To acquire new accolades? Or simply to gain material things that add to the joy of life?
As an avid goal setter for 10 years now (…in fact, the date of my first entry in the notebook where I write my goals is January 2, 2002. Exactly ten years ago), I’ve set my share of grand ambitions and planned for smaller pleasures.
I’ve covered the range from traveling to far away places, experiencing some of the world’s most fascinating events, and learning new skills to advance my career, health, finances and relationships.
When I look back on my list, there is a strong theme of ‘accomplishment’. I wanted to accomplish things and experience stuff and by-and-large, I did just that.
So the end of 2011 is almost here, many people may be tempted to make some New Years Resolutions, but we all know how well they work, don’t we? But it still a great time to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. So how about making the decision to start the new year with some new healthy habits of success instead?
Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people is a great place to start for some good examples. Wiki-pedia has a great summary of them, which will save you a lot of reading! Here is a quick run through to get you going:-
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted—Aesop
Two things have struck a chord within me in the last 24 hours…
The first is the quote to the right, which was in a newsletter sent out by my coach Jennie (you can read some of her Tips here). The second was a sentiment expressed by my colleague – that “volunteering and supporting our community is essential throughout the year. It’s not just for Christmas!”
And as I look forward to celebrating Christmas day with some dear friends, and sharing the festive spirit with my loved ones, it makes me wonder whether my acts of kindness sometimes come with strings attached…
Whilst our motivations for doing something to help someone might come from a genuine place, do we hold expectations of how our kindness will be received? Read more of this article »
It may be arbitrary but the turn of a new year is a perfect opportunity to set a plan for what you want to experience, create, have and do over the next 12 months.
Part of what spurns us on to thinking about our future is the middle of December to early January, for most, is a time where we have time less time at work and spend more time with friends and family. This end of year cycle is a perfect catalyst for reconnecting with what matters most.
But knowing what matters (or what you want to achieve) and making it so are wildly different things.
Having spent a huge portion of my adult life investigating what makes the difference between ‘those who achieve what they want’ and ‘those who try but don’t, or don’t really try at all’, I’ve learnt that 99% of the time it comes down to five factors. Read more of this article »
In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Heart speaks louder than words
A FABULOUS QUOTE, which is equally attributable to us women of course! Yet when Tennyson penned his immortal lines, the fairer sex were not supposed to show outward, public signs of lust and longing. To make up for this, there was feverish letter writing, many an attack of the vapours (probably due to tight corsetry), and many a hushed chaperoned visit with the object of one’s desire. There was no word for sex when Tennyson wrote this either, so the word ‘love’ encompassed the whole gamut of heart/mind/body attraction.
Being based in the UK we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving here. But it did make me smile when an American friend of mine reminded me that it was tomorrow.
I celebrate my own style of Thanksgiving every Monday morning. That can be pretty hard some Mondays I can tell you! But I have to admit, once I get into the swing of things it’s actually pretty easy an very rewarding.
So what is Thanksgiving Monday? Well as part of my Morning Pages, I have a segment at the start that I do just on Monday mornings. I write a short paragraph of things that I’ve truly grateful for. It varies each time, sometimes it’s something basic like my health, other times it can be something much come complex and personal. I’ve ben doing this for several weeks now since I read about it in a book I’ve been reading called :59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman. It’s a technique he recommends to increase happiness in your life. I must admit I was a little doubtful at first but following his guide I thought I’ll give it a go. He recommends similar things on the other days of the week, but the Monday Thanksgiving has been the most powerful for me.
It’s been so many different things to experience writing down what I’m thankful for, it’s actually quite hard to put into words. But I can safely say that it’s one of the most inspiring and uplifting things I’ve done in a very long time.
So if you are celebrating tomorrow I hope you have a truly wonderful time, but come next week when the party has all too soon become a hazy distant memory, start your own weekly thanksgiving ritual.
If I was to tell you that one simple technique has helped me manage a severe phobia, deal with intense emotional extremes and remove blocks I’ve struggled with all my life, would you be interested?
I’d hope you were at least curious… I’d even welcome scepticism!
And I would definitely want to share it with you – because it has personally helped me so much that I feel it is one of the most valuable tools you can have in your daily toolkit.
So, what is this mystery skill? It is called EFT, or emotional freedom technique.
It is simple to use, quick to learn and can be applied to almost any situation or issue.
It’s an inevitable part of being human: facing challenges, resolving issues, dealing with problems.
These often unpleasant and uncomfortable parts of our life can attract a lot of our attention. They can absorb a lot of our energy and take us away from other things that are more rewarding, important and fulfilling.
Perhaps recently you’ve been spending an extraordinary amount of your time on a problem.
How can you tell if it’s just a symptom you’ve been focusing on?
But what if the attention you’re giving it is misguided?
Give up the fight! Ever find yourself taking the longest, most arduous, most emotionally, mentally and physically taxing route to where you’re trying to reach? Stressing and stressing, adrenals on full alert, till you reach your goal – exhausted, yet victorious! Are you addicted to the ‘hurts so good’ syndrome? Are you addicted to struggle?
I’ve been on what seems like a permanent cycle of super-charged “let’s go for the uber challenge” route most of my adult life. And only recently have I made a conscious decision to get off the bloody hamster wheel. And let myself off the proverbial hook. There’s a good reason why Wayne Dyer chose to call his seminal book: Life Was Not Meant To Be A Struggle.
When I first flicked through his homilies, 20 years ago on a road trip from rainy Adelaide to sweat-stained Darwin, I could barely contain my cynicism. What did he know!? Life was tough, of course it was. How could it be anything different? Arrogance of youth, or rather ignorance of youth. I’d never know it to be anything else. So I left that book of wisdom in a mall bookshop in Alice Springs, and never looked back. Until years later, when I finally understood what the guy meant. With the benefit of hindsight – and 20 year’s life experience – I can see he was right all along.
You know the feeling, you start out on a new path to better health, being more organised or some other goal that you know is really important to you.
At the beginning you feel like you’ve thought everything through and you’re really motivated to get going. Everything seems to be going great! Your plans have paid off and your journey towards your goal couldn’t seem easier.
So… why do you begin to slip?
Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity.
You find yourself missing the odd gym session, and not being quite as organised. Whatever it is, you can feel yourself slipping back into your old ways. Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity and before you know it, weeks have passed since you did anything you initially planned so hard for.
In a recent discussion with a client, I was reminded of the importance of recognising our skill and ability to shift from being in a selfish place to one of being selfless.
Both of these positions can be thought of as emotional states that we ‘go to’ in certain circumstances.
The person I was speaking with recognised that he had been behaving somewhat selfishly in his relationship with his family.
I posed the question: Was being selfish in that situation a bad thing?
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