Nikola Tesla – a creator and true genius

Most of us are convinced that until we believe we can have or manifest the object of our desire, then we ain’t never gonna get it. We’re quite sure that unless we have a positive self-image, we simply can’t have what we’d love.

Recognising that most of us have worth, trust, control, capacity, powerless and not allowed to be capable beliefs, which amplify our “it’s impossible” inner editor, it can often seem an impossibility to manifest our hearts’ desires. No wonder NLP is so popular. Any modality that helps to alter state or model behaviour gives our identities a life raft of significant proportions.

And therein lies our essential conundrum as human beings: we have completely forgotten that we have an innate ability to create – at will. Whether we think we’re a stupid dumbo or we’re God’s gift to the universe. We can create despite our beliefs about ourselves. We are co-creators here on this beautiful planet. In addition to the beliefs we’ve made up about ourselves, parents and schools have also colluded in the drama. We’re told that creating involves ‘sacrifice’, that it’s ‘terribly hard work’, that it takes gargantuan talent, and it usually depends on the largesse of some unforgiving God or unseen forces. Or even worse – we have to go into a peak state and run barefoot across hot coals. Yikes! Not true, my friend.

To add insult to injury, the entire self-development industry has drummed into us that we have to have positive thoughts in order to create what we’d love. Or we just need to make a wish list or simply order in our creative desires. For some, it’s merely a case of channeling entities – a la Shirley MacLaine – who will then guide us to our land of plenty.

We’ve been held hostage by the construct that believing in our (in)ability to create what we’d love is actually more important than the creation itself. How nuts is that?

So where is your focus? On creating or on believing?

The difference between a believer and a creator
All creators have self doubts, but what sets them apart from the believers is sheer will power. A will that they recognise and exert – in spades – to help them in the creative process, despite their inner critic telling them they can’t do x, y, or z.

Do you imagine the world’s greatest inventor and creators experienced a complete lack of self-doubt? Hardly! They probably suffered more than most and were probably rejected more than most. Everyone knows the story about Edison’s gadzillion attempts to create the first incandescent light. And let’s not forget the incandescent inventor Nikola Tesla – the forgotten genius without whom the 21st century would scrabbling about in the dark on all fours (for information on this incredible man check out this link to his life and work).

Creators tend to eschew society’s paradigms on what is and isn’t possible. And what they believe about themselves or the world around them is, as Robert Fritz so eloquently puts it “irrelevant to their creative process”. Madonna, Walt Disney, JK Rowling – just a few household names who certainly weren’t full of self-confidence and charisma when they began their creative journeys.

Steve Jobs is a wonderful example of a man who inspired his team to create what was considered ‘impossible’. And his world view is what he used to motivate those around him:

Watch this Steve Jobs video: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people no smarter than you”

Creative Tension
When we delve deeply into the creative process many synchronicities happen; we find the right website or book, we bump into the right people. Not because of our beliefs but due to some unseen higher force at work. God knows what that is (maybe just that…) but it just happens. And do we really need to know that is is?

In his magnificent book, The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz who has written extensively about creativity using structural tension as key and guide. With the premise that tension always seeks resolution, his view is that:

Creating is taking action to bring into being that which does not yet exist: the desired outcome. To do this successfully doesn’t depend on beliefs or reciting endless affirmations, rather it is structural. “Clarity about the desired outcome and the actual situation establishes a structural tendency that moves the structure toward tension resolution; and strongly motivates the best actions to achieve the desired outcome.”

So where is your focus? On your desired end results, or on your made-up beliefs?

Can you relate to the feeling of:

• Making things harder for yourself than they need to be?
• Allowing yourself to be distracted by something other than your priority?
• Punishing yourself when something isn’t perfect?
• Taking on too much when you know you can’t fit everything in?

Sometimes sabotage can show up in a way that obviously affects our goals, and other times it can show up more subtly. For example, I recently noticed myself being clumsy and getting injured a lot – which is very unlike me. All the bumps and bruises were subtly trying to distract me from the important actions I needed to take. But a more obvious example is: if you are focusing on becoming more healthy, then buying chocolates and crisps (because someone else in the house or visitors might need them) is a more direct form of sabotage – which puts the temptation right in front of you.

So why do we self-sabotage – particular the dreams we most want?

And more importantly, what can we do about it?

There is usually a pattern to our sabotaging behaviour, and this is likely to be driven by an underlying fear – so that we aren’t consciously aware of it, but it is ticking away in our sub-conscious like a time-bomb.

Because the fear is buried away, it can be hard to identify, but at its heart – the attempts to stop you achieving what you want are also giving you something to blame when things do go wrong. For example, “I would have achieved that if only … hadn’t gone wrong.”

So here is a 3-step plan for nullifying self-sabotage:

1. Starting from a place of building awareness, there are little signs we can look for to spot self-sabotage in action:
   • If you catch yourself doing something that is “unlike you”
   • If it feels like the world & his dog are against you, and trying to stop you from achieving your goal
   • If you are having trouble concentrating on and prioritising what is important to you
   • Things are feeling much harder and more draining than you think they should be

   Once you start noticing these feelings or behaviours, then you can choose to do something about it. The key to ending self-sabotage is to be willing to explore what is causing it – because when you bring it to light, it can’t continue to tick away underneath the surface anymore.

2. Explore the underlying fear. This is unlikely to be the most obvious reason, so asking yourself some quality questions can help identify the root cause:
   • What will it mean for me if I achieve my dream (or do well at this)?
   • What will people think of me once I’ve reached my goal?
   • I deserve my dream because…?

   For example, I was suffering severe stage fright prior to doing some live webinars and calls recently. I’ve never had stage-fright before, but it wasn’t fear of speaking to a group of people that was affecting me. When I asked myself the first question above, I realised that if I did well at this one it would mean I’d have to do more of them! So it was more about avoiding the thing that felt uncomfortable, than doing the actual presentation itself.
   You might not need to work through each of these questions, or there might be another question that works better for you. But if none of them resonate, then you can try asking yourself “Why?” five times when thinking about the fear that is holding you back to uncover its root.

3. Finally, it will help to choose empowering beliefs that will help you towards your dream rather than halt you from it. Try asking yourself:
   • What would I need to believe about myself to feel confident about achieving my goal?
   • What would I need to believe about myself to feel I deserve my dream?
   • In order to enjoy working towards my goal, what would I need to believe about it/myself?

   Again – you only need to answer one or two of these questions, but if you struggle to answer any of them there is another place you can start. Instead, ask yourself: “In order to feel so badly about taking this action or achieving my goal I’d need to believe …?”And once you’ve answered that one, return to the other questions. Chances are you’ll now find an answer to one of them, which you can compare to your initial response. You can then choose to work with and nurture the belief that empowers you, rather than the one that has been holding you back and sabotaging your success.

And once you’ve worked through these three steps, you can then address some of the feelings that self-sabotage had been causing – like learning to say “no” to something if you’ve already got other commitments or before you get to the point of feeling like there is too much to do; allowing something to be “good enough” rather than aiming for the impossible ideal of perfection; getting very clear about your priority, so that distractions come second-fiddle; and allowing the process of taking action towards your dream or goal to be easy and enjoyable instead of expecting it to be hard and painful!

Have you had any experiences of self-sabotage? How did you spot them, and how did you respond? Let us know whether you’ve had dreams derailed by fear, or whether you’ve been able to turn it around. And please do share with us if any of this resonated, or if the 3 steps help you move forwards with your goal!

It’s no surprise that a common theme amongst books today is ‘Leadership in Tough Times’.  It’s an interesting topic, and one that applies to the business world as much as it does to our own personal lives.

How do you respond in tough times, when life presents a ‘major problem’? Do you get angry and look to lay blame on others? Do you freeze like a deer in headlights, convincing yourself you don’t know what to do next? Maybe you seek shelter from the storm by running to a friend, the fridge or some other pleasure-seeking distraction? Do you just cover your head and hope it will go away?

Or do you behave in a way that empowers you? That enables you to rise to the challenge and accept responsibility for making a change? Have you developed emotional fortitude to confidently face the tough times and strengthen your willpower to overcome the odds?

On reflection, I realise I have developed a few core beliefs that help me to keep calm and determined when things get shaky, leaving extra reserves of emotional strength to lead myself and others towards better times.

1. There is no problem I can’t handle

I have a belief that God won’t give me a problem that I can’t handle. Regardless of how ferocious, colossal or down-right nasty the problem is, I trust that I will be able to handle it.

It doesn’t mean I will know the answer or enjoy dealing with it, or not freak out along the way. But rather, I have faith that my capacity – and the capacity within each one of us – to take on enormous challenges is always greater than we think it is. I will use my strengths, my creativity and my resourcefulness to find the solution and make it so. One bad problem does not overrule all the good I have in my life, and keeping it in perspective really helps.

Tough times won’t destroy you. You can handle it, and I know you will.

2. The bigger the problem, the more I will grow

As a powerful complement to that first belief, I know that when a problem lands, it’s just another occasion where I am going to be challenged to grow. It’s an opportunity to learn more about myself, my compassion and my abilities. The bigger the challenge the more I will have to dig deeper into my convictions, to use resources I forgot I had, to work on strengthening my will, my faith and take my next step forward.

I understand and recognise that it will teach me important lessons (including painful ones I don’t want to face) and cause me to come out on the other side a better, stronger man for the experience.

This isn’t a belief or perspective I’ve always had: it’s one that surfaced a few years ago and serves me very well to keep a level head and spend more time focusing on finding a solution, than dwelling in the pain of the problem. Pain is a part of life, suffering is a choice.

It sounds odd, but now on some level when a big problem arises, I actually get a little excited to see what I’m going to learn and how I’m going to grow from this. This has totally shifted my approach and empowers me like nothing before.

That’s not blind optimism; it’s a truth that is always there for you to see as soon as you decide to be open and look for it.

3. Leaders are made in tough times

It’s easy to be a leader when things are going well. Profits rising? What an outstanding CEO! Back-to-back championships? The captain and the coach are the greatest of all time! Yet, the true test of a leader is when things turn for the worst. Can she remain focused yet flexible to still achieve her goals? Can he rally the troops to not lose confidence and inspire them to dig deeper, work harder and become closer as a team?

I see tough times as a calling for me to step up and become the leader I am meant to be.

When the going gets tough, you need to believe, not doubt; to create, not destroy; to bond not separate; to step up and  defy the odds, set a new standard for yourself and those around you.

Having all these empowering beliefs, does not exempt me from misfortune and periods of immense pain. So when stuff happens I simply remind myself that ‘this too shall pass’.

All pain is temporary. Yes, the sun will rise again and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Despite all your best intentions, keen desire and self-belief, sometimes you just can’t fix the situation. But hold on to the knowing that tough times won’t last forever. You CAN handle this, and the experience WILL enable you to become more of who you are meant to be.

How might these ideas help you to respond differently in the future? Leave a comment to share how you used to respond in tough times, or what you find works best for you in coping with big challenges. Other readers, and I, will appreciate hearing from you.

As we grow up, we pick up certain beliefs or ideas about the world that stick with us into adult life – and even if we are aware of them, we rarely question them, simply taking them at face value.

I was thinking about my belief ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ and how disadvantaged someone would be if they never believed that with a bit of focused effort and determination there is almost always a way around, through, over, under or out of an obstacle. Almost immediately though, my brain chimed in that sometimes this belief is damn frustrating too! Why is that? Well, if I believe that there is always a solution for everything, then if I am trying and failing it must mean that I simply haven’t found the ‘right’ solution yet.

The problem with that is we are never in control of everything (and rarely in control of most things) so there are occasions when we either need to:

• adjust our path
• make a decision about whether something is still important enough to pursue
• change our expectations about when or how we achieve something
• or stop being precious about the way in which we achieve it.

Yet the flip-side or corollary of ‘Where there is a will, there’s a way’ is an unrealistic sense of responsibility and pressure to make things happen. Funny that – since I’ve always identified myself as my own worst critic!

Maybe there’s a flip-side to all our beliefs then… How about: ‘No pain, no gain’? This was a mantra of pride for me when I was a teen, and I felt it was very character-building when I pushed myself through something that was uncomfortable or unpleasant or both – all in the name of health or achievement. It is only much more recently that I realised this has meant I rejected the thought that progress and success can be easy and enjoyable! If something was too easy, then I couldn’t have done it properly or something must be missing. Hmm.

OK, surely there’s not a hidden side to the belief that ‘No matter how bad things are for me, there’s someone else in the world right now who is much worse off’? Whilst it didn’t totally prevent ‘poor me’ moments as I was growing up, this belief certainly helped put things in perspective when life seemed to mirror the motto on a t-shirt I’d bought that said “I’m always in the shit, only the depth varies!” How could there possibly be a negative side to such a belief? Well: in my own experience it meant that I sometimes accepted bad situations as normal or typical, basically dis-empowering myself from trying to change them; or, I rebelled in a non-constructive way because deep down I knew I needed to challenge it but couldn’t quite reconcile that with being appreciative of what I had that others lacked.

I still retain these beliefs – it wouldn’t be helpful to just ‘throw them out’, even if such a thing were possible. We can challenge our own blind acceptance of them though, by following these steps:

1) Identify a belief you hold that you want to explore.

e.g. “No pain, no gain”.

2) Ask yourself “What does it mean to me?

e.g. It means that I need to make an effort with all I do; that I need to push myself to do something I might not feel like doing, because I know it is worth it in the long run (and repeating it as a mantra can help!); it means prioritising future reward or benefit over immediate desire; it is character-building something to be proud of.

3) Find its flip-side or corollary. You might need to ask yourself this question a few times: “If I believe this, then…what else does this mean?”

e.g. If I believe “No pain, no gain” then this means that if something doesn’t hurt I mustn’t have achieved anything; if I believe this, then if something is easy and enjoyable I mustn’t have completed it fully; so therefore I’ve missed something or not done my best.

4) Ask yourself: “How has this flip-side been influencing my actions or decisions throughout my life?”

e.g. This means I feel dissatisfied and self-critical whenever I do something that is easy or enjoyable! So I’m always looking for what I missed, failing to celebrate (or recognise) my achievements, and suffer an unquenchable thirst for perfectionism!

5) Choose whether you are happy with these additional consequences. If you aren’t, then you can choose to make more active and conscious decisions to change those habits that don’t serve you. Ask yourself “What is the first thing I can do to reverse this consequence?”

e.g. start acknowledging every little thing I do*, find a physical gesture that I could use to congratulate myself (back-patting works really well for me!), start noticing what works that is easy (I have to keep a list of these, and review them each week to make sure I’m doing more of them).

Share one of your beliefs by adding a comment to this post, and either start exploring possible flip-sides that might secretly be influencing you on a daily basis, or simply post it and allow others to help you – as we all have our own interpretations and ideas!

Enjoy!

Sam

* I needed real help with this one, so set myself a major challenge of congratulating myself for EVERYTHING I did for 24hrs. This included: waking up in the morning, eating, going to the loo, washing my hands, answering the phone – everything!

Our society seems to relentlessly push us to want more and need more. “Do more with less” is a common mantra in today’s businesses, cutbacks in staff means to continue on the path of ‘getting ahead’ you simply need to put your head down, nose to the grindstone and work harder. All in the name of more. However, there is another side.

If you surveyed a group of people, and asked them for one word that describes success, they will come up with terms such as (examples in brackets):

• Progress (taking steps towards, see/feel improvement)
• Achieve (promotion, salary rise, award)
• Gain (knowledge, skills, health)
• Grow (confidence, talents, relationships)
• Acquire (insights, partnerships, tools)

Any of those terms could apply to your health, finances, spirituality, business or career, and relationships. “If it’s not growing, it’s dying” as the saying goes.

All of those points are true, accurate, and an important part of any success equation. But there is an equally important, equally powerful yet commonly overlooked part of the success equation.

Often, on our road to our own success, we reach a point where not only do we need to continue to acquire, but we also need to let go.

The flip side of the terms listed above are all incredibly important for you to continue on your journey to fulfilment and satisfaction:

• Release
• Relinquish
• Let go
• Leave
• Die

You got to where you are by all your actions, attitudes, beliefs and values you’ve adopted over the years. However, to get to where you want to go and be in your life, sometimes (…more than you realise) you need to let some things die.

For example, beliefs that no longer serve you, habits that hold you back, relationships that prevent your progress.

By embracing the ‘letting go’ side of success and deciding what you no longer need to hold on to in order to achieve your ambitions and desires, you will be liberated.

Take the following 3-minute audit now and decide what you should let go of today, in order to truly fulfil your potential, achieve your goals, or simply make a bit more progress every day.

Think of one area of your life where you are striving for more success than you are currently experiencing. Here are seven questions to help you to take action now:

• What is holding you back from making more progress, quicker progress, easier progress?
• What are your beliefs about what it takes to make the progress you want?
• Are all those beliefs true? Are you sure?
• What are your daily habits that might feel good or helpful in some way but don’t fully allow you to make the progress you want?
• What is more important to you—making progress towards your goals, or staying where you are?
• What is more risky for your long term success and fulfilment—moving forward despite the fear or feelings of discomfort, or staying trapped in your comfort zone?
• What is one thing you no longer need to have (extra plate of food?), do (constantly multi-task?), or be (a worrier?) in order to achieve your outcome?

Answer those questions now and it will become clear what you need to leave behind in order to really achieve the level of success you desire…and the success you deserve.

Leave a comment below to let us know what you’d like to let go, or where you’d like some additional suggestions on how to make this part of the success equation work for you.

However, within a few more weeks he had cut his time for that same distance in half and was now middle of the pack. He used to be afraid of the water and now loves to swim and compete in the sport. When asked of his advice to someone who was taking on a new challenge, his words were as simple as they were profound, “Persistence is key and the reward is freedom”.

What is true behind these words is what you gain freedom from. Not usually a lifetime of riches and independence, but more precisely, freedom from your worries, fears, concerns, anxiety, depression, doubts, low self-esteem or whatever mental and emotional weight you were putting on yourself. When that weight is lifted, and you have a breakthrough — such as acknowledging the fact that you can do it — it is often astounding how insignificant your old thoughts of doubt and worry really were. It’s shocking how much those negative thoughts and feelings really tied you down and delayed your success.

So whatever challenge you’re currently facing and trying to bust through, remember persistence is the key to your freedom — the ultimate reward we all deserve. Realise that when you have that success, you will look back and wonder why you chose to indulge in those negative thoughts and emotions for so long. So why not leave those thoughts behind right now? Let go and be free.

What are you currently facing where persistence will help you? What would you like to be free of? And what reward is waiting for you?

Leave us a comment as we’d love to hear from you.

Until then,

Chris

So why do we so often eschew the idea of a road map for our lives? It’s very easy to drift from job to job, location to location, relationship to relationship, without a clear plan of action. Back in my twenties, I did just that. My life fell very much into the… “Well, I’ll see what comes up’ category. I had no grand plan of action, no specific goals (other than to earn enough cash to pay my mortgage, buy clothes, eat out, travel and have fun). It was fun, but somewhat precarious. And often I felt like I was going nowhere – fast!

Set your course
The million-dollar question: how can you reach your destination, if you don’t know where you’re going? Having direction doesn’t mean you can’t change your destination whenever you want. Or revise your goals. Allow yourself to be flexible. A great starting place is to make a list of your short term (1 week to 6 months), medium term (6 months to a year) and long term (1 to 5 years) goals for each of the following areas of your life: Career, Family, Environment, Spiritual Life, Relationships, Creativity, Friendships. Then look at each area again and mark each one from 1 (least satisfied) to 10 (most satisfied). This will instantly tell you the areas that require your immediate attention.

Realistic plan of action
Once you’ve established the area(s) you’d most like to change, then set yourself weekly, realistic and achievable goals to take yourself to your final destination. It’s important that you keep these ‘journey’ goals achievable. Baby steps. This will keep you motivated. For some, their goal may to become fit. Even joining a gym can be a major deal for many, so don’t run before you can walk! Take your time to build up to that half-marathon. But do nudge yourself out of your comfort zone. Regularly.

Resources and options
What resources do you already have that can help you achieve your goals? Do you have friends who can help you? Are there colleagues at work who can supportively nudge you in the direction you’re headed? What have you done in previous jobs that you can take with you as a skill set into your next position? Take a look at all your options for success. Brainstorm. Then pick an action point that’s the easiest for you to achieve that week. Then another one… and so on.. Challenge yourself. And reward yourself with each success.

Values and beliefs
Goals are great. But you won’t achieve them unless your values are in alignment with your beliefs. Values are the things that we get out of bed for. The things that motivate us. This could be family, money, recognition… Make a list of your top 10 values. Things you will do anything to achieve. Then put them in order of hierarchy. Then make a list of 10 things you’d do anything to avoid: this could be loneliness, embarrassment, recognition. If you see a clash between your goals and your values, then redefine your goals. For example, if one ‘going to’ value is recognition, but you’d do anything to avoid rejection, then you are unlikely to put yourself into career or job position where you will be held up and judged on your performance. No matter how hard you try, it simply won’t work. Another example: an employee who is given a promotion involving regular international travel will have a values collision if his main priority is his family, whom he will rarely see as a result. There will be tension and a lack of happiness.

Results
The key to succeeding in reaching your goals is to firstly identify them – what do you love? What would you love to do? Where would you love to live? What kind of relationship would you love to be in? Then take regular, committed action towards achieving them. Daily, weekly, monthly… Small, achievable steps taken regularly will give you the confidence and motivation to change every area of your life – successfully. You will begin to trust in your own innate ability to make the right choices in life. As a result, your dreams most certainly will become reality. Focus with laser-like intensity and commitment on your desired results, and your subconscious will do all it can to bring that goal to you. It really is as simple as that. Whatever you focus on, you will attract to you.

This is a universal law.