How often do you start your day by getting all the little things ‘out of the way’ first – clearing email, cleaning your desk, catching up on niggly out-of-date to do’s that are stressing you out since they still haven’t been done?
All done in an attempt to get the smaller, mundane (or urgent) things off your plate so you can settle down into your day and finally get to the important stuff.
It’s a strategy most of us use on a regular basis – but for most of us, it’s flawed. And usually painfully so.
While this approach often feels like the best thing to do, how often do you actually get to the most important items? Chances are, it’s rare and often at a cost. Read more of this article »
Have you ever noticed that moment when the person you’re speaking to suddenly seems to mentally drift away, their eyes glaze over and you know they’re not listening to you any more? Do you do that to others?
In this podcast, Sam and Chris discuss three levels of listening and offer practical tips to ensure you not only listen well but remain engaged and interested in your conversations.
Meeting new people in any situation can inspire a mixture of fear, excitement, nervousness and anticipation – depending on how easily we cope with the dance of the social butterfly. And even if you enjoy a chance to socialise, it isn’t always a bed of roses!
So when a listener wrote in recently, Sam & Paul were keen to present a bouquet of flowers as thanks:
“When I am in any situation especially social I am able to make a great impression and have fun/etc – but after a while I get tired/bored and cannot maintain the energy or enthusiasm. I have tried making goals – using NLP-type exercises and all of these help in the short term, but not for long. Can you please advise if you have any input?”
THINK BACK… to the last time someone really listened to you. I mean really listened. For more than a few minutes. Without interrupting. Listening with all their being, until you’d actually finished your train of thought, and in some cases even your whole sentence? Fully present – not while driving, washing up, unpacking the shopping, half an eye on the footy/SATC re-runs; their attention clearly elsewhere. Listening until you came to a natural pause; a complete conclusion?
Not easy, eh? Most of us cannot wait to jump in, proffer our own opinion and then, with any luck completely take over the conversation. Why is listening so difficult? For those of you who can remember what it feels like to be truly seen and heard – you’ll know what an exquisite feeling it is. Sometimes we don’t want advice or an opinion, we just want someone to be a sounding board; to listen to us. Without judgment and preferably in silence.
Next time you speak with a friend or colleague, make a conscious decision not to interrupt for at least a few minutes. You may get an anxious: “why have you gone quiet?” but if you tell the other person you are, in fact, listening to them, unless they’ve keeled over in shock, they’ll feel sufficiently respected to continue, perhaps at an even deeper level. And trust, me, they won’t forget the full attention you’ve given them!
If you’re lucky to have a good friend, family member or colleague who is happy to give you their silent, undivided attention, then you’re very well blessed! Go give ‘em a big hug…
ActionPodcast is your weekly source of inspiration and motivation for taking consistent action in your life.
From managing stress to managing time, gaining confidence to getting rid of excuses, the experienced team of ActionPodcast coaches provides practical insights and actionable ideas for making consistent progress in the important areas of your life. Read more...
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