Being consciously aware of what we’ve achieved is great for our general sense of well-being and contribution, and it can also significantly boost our confidence. But in the busyness of life, it can be easy to forget, overlook or play down the extent of what we’ve achieved – and by choosing to be accountable to someone (or some thing), we give ourselves key moments to reflect on our productivity and achievement, and whether our system of prioritising is working well for us.

Join Paul and Sam as they explore some different options for adding a helpful dose of accountability into your day, and even what some of the unexpected benefits might be!

If you died tomorrow – what would people say about you, and your life? What would you want them to say?

Instead of waiting until it is arguably too late and face the top 5 common regrets (see the article below), contemplating the question of our own mortality can actually be very motivating.

Sam & Gina discuss how their own experiences have helped shape their lives and their actions, and take a light-hearted look at the fact that we don’t ever know when our ‘time’ will come. What would you be inspired to do if you realised you’d regret never having done it?

Click here to see the topic suggestion Rob shared on Facebook, and the article that inspired it.

The types of things we are willing to spend more money on will vary for each of us (e.g. think gadgets, clothes, car, or entertainment), and this is based on more than just the retail value of the product or service.

For the next 30 seconds, think about the main things you spend the most money on and write a short list. You should be able to come up with 3-5 things pretty easily. Include things that you may not purchase very frequently, but that you spend a fair bit on when you do.

I really encourage you to record them in some way – because there’s a lot this list can tell you!

Dr John Demartini talks about the correlation between what we spend our money on, and what our values are.

For example, I spend quite a bit on cat food/health/wellbeing – which suggests (correctly) that I value my kitties very highly. If you spend a large portion of your income on your accommodation, then that might suggest that anything from security, to location or personal space are top priorities for you. And if holidays are a big annual spend, then that will indicate another of your top values – depending on what a holiday means most to you  (it could be about escape, relaxation, adventure, exploration etc).

So you can start to see some of the insights about what is important to you, and also use it to sanity-check a purchase… “Will this xyz honour the value that I’m buying it for?”

I was also struck by a particular appeal while watching the TEDx video that Gina shared with us a few weeks ago; Adam Baker encouraged us to:

“Start collecting experiences, not things.”

And as I was pondering this today, I realised it provided another clue based on what we spend our money on.

My list looks something like this (in no particular order):

• Cats
• Travel (to Australia, for courses/business)
• Dining out
• Books

And if I add one or two things that seem slightly disproportionate to the rest of my spending, then Starbucks and fine wine probably deserve a place too.

I was quite surprised to find that all of these were actually more about the experiences they give me, than the actual purchases themselves. Travel grants me access to my family, friends and development opportunities. Books give me experiences of escape and learning. Dining out and fine wine give me experiences that anchor me in the moment – I love savouring a mouthful of culinary magic, or the complexity of an aged red (not to mention the usually fine company!). And I confess, Starbucks gives me a whole host of experiences – comfort, belonging, social interaction, a creative environment.

So whilst I do still spend money on other “stuff” – a greater amount of my spending is done on things that I deem to give me valuable experiences.

And it can get even more interesting when we discover that our spending habits highlight values we may not have recognised as top priorities in our lives! Our values heavily influence our decisions – whether we are aware of them or not!

I was pretty surprised to consider the amount I spent on health & wellbeing last year… I certainly valued recovery from injury (mobility, independence, relief from pain) pretty highly!

We can also look at things we dislike or resent spending money on, for clues as to what might fall nearer the bottom of our values list. Whilst there might be some usual suspects, are there any that surprise you?

Perhaps next time you take out your cash or plastic – you might take a moment to think about which value the purchase is affirming for you.

Is it giving you a valuable experience, or is it just more stuff?

Not the best way to engage and make positive emotional connections! It simply makes the other person shut down. Sam and Gina discuss the J-word vis-a-vis their own relationships. And offer 3 helpful tips on how we can check in on our own behaviour – and make powerful adjustments – before we start projecting and blaming others. 

We talk about the comments we received from our listeners always make our day, so when we get them we really are delighted.

Also what podcast topics or blog posts have made us as ActionPodcast coaches sit up and really take on board what some one the others have said. Even though we talk about personal development all the time, and coach clients, we still find there are things we can learn from the other coaches.

Looking forward to the year ahead we reveal what we wish for in 2012.

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No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted—Aesop

Two things have struck a chord within me in the last 24 hours…

The first is the quote to the right, which was in a newsletter sent out by my coach Jennie (you can read some of her Tips here). The second was a sentiment expressed by my colleague – that “volunteering and supporting our community is essential throughout the year. It’s not just for Christmas!”

And as I look forward to celebrating Christmas day with some dear friends, and sharing the festive spirit with my loved ones, it makes me wonder whether my acts of kindness sometimes come with strings attached…

Whilst our motivations for doing something to help someone might come from a genuine place, do we hold expectations of how our kindness will be received?

I gave an early gift to a friend in need, so that she could feel reassured that there would be food on her table at Christmas. My intention was genuine, yet I felt disappointed with her reaction. I was so excited about doing something caring for her that I didn’t stop to think that she may not feel in the mood for celebrating in the midst of all her stress.

How misplaced my disappointment was!

We are often more compelled to charity and being of service to those less fortunate at this time of year. Yet our help is needed out of the festive season just as much.

And I can’t help but feel hypocritical when I’m forced to throw out wasted food, left over from too many big Christmas meals, when there are many who don’t have enough.

So these things have caused me to reassess how I think about and share kindness.

I’m going to make sure my friend knows I’m there if she needs me, and will call on Christmas morning to help brighten her day. I’m going to make a concerted effort to finish off leftovers before going out to buy more food. And I’m going to find a couple of ways I can spread some kindness in my local community – now, as a starting point, and in a way I can regularly sustain.

What gifts of kindness will you give this season?

One of the simplest acts of kindness is a smile – given freely, regardless of whether it is returned!

Best wishes for a warm & magical festive season, and a healthy & happy new year to you all!

No Regrets...

This is a time of the year when our thoughts turn reflective as we look back at the year we’ve had.

Can you say there’s nothing you regret?

Chris and Sam reckon it’s not too late to turn things around – whether it is something that didn’t happen or something that didn’t turn out as you’d hoped. Pick one thing you’d like to either resolve or at least progress a little, before the year is out. (We help out with some relationship examples). The more emotionally charged the better!

A baby step could see you dissolving a regret, freeing up some emotional energy or creating a stronger foundation to move forward from in 2012.

Make a real difference to this year and your relationships this week!

Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or topic suggestions.

I’d hope you were at least curious… I’d even welcome scepticism!

And I would definitely want to share it with you – because it has personally helped me so much that I feel it is one of the most valuable tools you can have in your daily toolkit.

So, what is this mystery skill? It is called EFT, or emotional freedom technique.

It is simple to use, quick to learn and can be applied to almost any situation or issue.

You may have heard of acupuncture or acupressure, which stimulate the body’s energy system by applying needles or pressure to key points (or meridians) along the body’s energy channels. EFT works similarly through gentle tapping on the meridians making it less invasive – and is sometimes referred to as “psychological acupressure”.

I am very grateful that I was introduced to it about 12 years ago by two Aussie masters (thanks guys!) who have contributed some brilliant variations of the technique and helped make it more accessible.

If you want more info on the history of the technique or mechanics of it first, I’ve recorded a short audio extract giving an overview of what it is and why it should be used; and for more details including videos and research studies, EFT Downunder is a great place to start.

But if you are keen to dive straight in, a key resource that can help you start using this amazing technique immediately is Brad Yates’ YouTube Channel – which has ~200 short videos on different issues you can apply EFT to, so that you can easily follow along with his tapping.

EFT has reduced my arachnophobia responses from hysterical (off-the-scales) to a point where I was recently able to get a beer glass over a spider that was bigger than my palm; so imagine what it could do for you!

I’ve decided to try something new too, and have created a special video* (below) – to accompany this blog post making it even easier for you to get started. Plus, I’ve got a couple of great action challenges for you to try:

• Each day for a week, pick one of Brad Yates’ videos and tap along to it. Use the same video or a range of different ones, and just pay attention to whether anything changes and how you feel.
• Or, try either the Karate Chop or Finger Sequence (SET) that I share in my video for one day – using it for one minute every hour or any time you’re a bit stressed – and just notice how you feel.

Now remember – you don’t need to be convinced that it will work. I find it even more amazing because it can help you in everyday life no matter whether you believe it will work or not! Just put it into action for a day or a week and see what happens!

It might take a bit of time before it becomes your default response to a stressful or emotional situation, but it doesn’t take much for it to provide lasting relief.

Share with us whether you’ve taken up one of my challenges, and what your experience was like : do you remain a sceptic or have you just discovered a technique that could change your life?

* I was even able to use these unobtrusive tapping tools to cope with an intensely emotional funeral this week too.

What if that kindness made someone else happy too?

And what if that happiness was contagious – so that one small act of kindness could spread happiness not just to 2 people, but to the friends of friends of both those people? How cool would that be?!

Research shows that happiness IS contagious. It is also a skill that can be learnt, and is not set in stone by genetics or upbringing.

Happiness is hard to define, but one thing it is not is a final destination to be arrived at. It is something we all seek continuously, yet we don’t always achieve; and there are times when we can feel decidedly unhappy.

Maybe it is because we are looking in the wrong places. Or maybe we’re just focusing on the wrong things…

This was what I was contemplating as Mark Williamson spoke as part of a session entitled The Happiness Factor at the British Science Festival in Bradford last week. Mark was speaking in his capacity as the Director of Action for Happiness, and if I was excited about his talk – I was delighted to discover the website!

And as my act of kindness today I wanted to share it with you all.

Earlier this morning I would have said I was feeling unhappy – I wasn’t even sure I could write a blog post, let alone an inspiring one. But after exploring the Action for Happiness site, it is funny how my mood has changed!

At ActionPodcast we believe we always have a choice about our reactions, and we believe that small actions can lead to significant results. But even for us it can be easy to forget at times.

So I love that Action for Happiness blends passion and purpose; action steps with inspiration; science with community. I encourage you to explore the 10 Keys to Happier Living, watch some of the short videos and choose one action to take within the next 24 hours.

Let’s be part of a happiness virus – it is a great gift to ourselves as well as to share!

Helena created the Three-Word Check-In as part of her process of facilitating brilliance within her clients, and when Sam learnt of it her curiosity was piqued… Helena and Sam started sharing their daily words with each other, and realised how empowering and supportive it was – and that they couldn’t keep it to themselves!

Find out why three words can change the course of your day, and how to make the most of this simple yet profound technique!

In a recent blog post, Chris suggests it is worth reviewing your ‘current life’ twice a year, particularly to take an honest look at which parts are sending you warnings that something isn’t right – and that you might be ignoring!

Join Sam and Chris as they explore some of the ways to spot warning signs using Sam’s real-life experiences as an example, and how even the smallest changes can make a significant difference in helping you turn things around.

P.S. Since recording this, Sam has taken her two actions and really believes it is worth taking action before the warning signs become less subtle!

Do a quick calculation before you continue reading – even if it is just a guess off the top of your head.

This question was posed in the June 2011 issue of Psychologies Magazine, and (paraphrasing) it explains that new research* has found that when we feel loved and accepted by others, we are likely to decrease or underestimate the value of what we own because we derive a sense of protection and comfort from that love instead of needing it from our possessions.

I could rattle off a value based on my home contents insurance, but what struck me most was a comment about the corollary: of being super-protective about pricey objects…

I’d already noticed that I can get a bit obsessed with worrying about whether a guest is going to damage my furniture; not to mention how I feel about my partner’s care of my possessions sometimes! So this is clearly something I need to look at…

And if your valuation was relatively high, you spent a few minutes adding it all up or you identify with the ‘super-protective’ behaviour too then it might be worth taking a few moments to reflect on the sources of love in your life.

The article suggests making a list of the people whom you know love you. This is a great pick-me-up at any time, as well as for reminding us of the people we appreciate or whom we are missing and want to reach out to. But (for my own medicine) I’d like to add a couple of extra actions for recognising the value of love in our lives:

• What do I feel really proud of just now, and so far this year?
• What moments give me a sense of feeling at peace, oneness or being loved?
• What am I grateful for today?
• What do I love most about myself?

By answering these questions, we start to recognise love-filled experiences, people and characteristics that we might be overlooking.

I suspect our sense of security is influenced just as much by whether and how much we love ourselves, as it is by how much we feel loved by others. It is hard to accept love if we don’t love and accept ourselves.

For me, this is best summed up in The Verve song Lucky Man, where the lyrics declare: “All the love I have is in my mind”.

I’d love to hear whether answering the questions above helped you to feel more loved – by others, as well as yourself.

* Research: Clarke et al, Heightened Interpersonal Security Diminishes The Monetary Value of Possessions (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology).

Put this technique into practice immediately and you’ll find your barriers are no longer as high or as strong, and taking action becomes a whole lot easier.

We’d love to hear how this works for you and if you have alternative versions that other ActionPodcast listeners would benefit from as well. Leave a comment on this podcast!

My reply was that it was a ritual – almost a tradition – that I upheld, but it got me thinking about why it was so important.

I love a great movie or a gripping book for the immersive experience it gives me; that sense of having stood in the shadow of the characters and shared their journey. Getting so caught up in a story like the deep-sea diver who lives for a time as part of the underwater universe that he is visiting.

And in the same way that I appreciate the magic of nature, I am grateful for the experience that a brilliant movie can offer me.

Staying to watch the credits roll is, in part, about respecting the efforts of all the people who contributed to bringing that movie to life; and to my life.

And these days, that list for each movie is very, very long.

When we are able to appreciate and hold gratitude for something that moves us, there is a hidden gift. We learn not to take things for granted, and especially, we acknowledge the impact of the emotion that was evoked within us.

But there is also a sense of not wanting to let life diminish the power of the experience too quickly.

Why race out of the cinema, into the flash flood of life that brings its own competing experiences, to wash away the intensity of what has just been witnessed?

So I like to stay in the cocoon of the cinema as the credits roll, and simply sit with the feelings and thoughts that the movie has left me with. To mull over my reaction, what I most enjoyed, and even what niggles at the back of my mind.

Then, as the final credits give way to the studio logos and the lights start to lift, I can step slowly back out into the world knowing that I’ve honoured the experience I’ve just had.

The fact that last night was also the end of an era, made my ritual more poignant. What might be different without the courage of Harry, Ron, Hermione and the other characters I’d come to know and love?

So whether you’ve ever watched the credits of a movie until the end, personally thanked a chef for a delicious meal or written to an author of a book you loved, it is worth pausing for a breath and asking yourself:

What experiences touch your soul?

What experiences do you get caught up in?

What could you take a few extra moments to appreciate, to savour?

Then promise yourself that you’ll honour that experience next time you get a chance.

Also at the end of the podcast Paul and Sam put out a request for listeners own personal stories of success so keep . Please get in touch if you’d like to tell us and the other listeners how you managed to overcome your own challenges!

There’s nothing worse than getting bad feedback.

There’s nothing more helpful than getting constructive feedback.

So how on earth do you make sure you get the right feedback? Paul and Sam love getting feedback just as much as anyone and during this podcast they discuss some great suggestions on how to ask for feedback so that you get the right information at the right time to help you improve instead of sending you off in the wrong and often depressing spiral caused by poorly given feedback.

“This is pretty good; I think I’ll keep going.”

This one came from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and is one of many affirmations, techniques and perspectives that have helped me loosen the grip of perfectionism that had stopped me achieving much, let alone my best.

I know the other ActionCoaches have also struggled with the need to be perfect from time to time, so here is a collection of some of our top insights into how to live a more effective and fulfilled life:

• In Perfect Paul and I discuss the effects of Perfectionism Paralysis, and how it stops us doing what we most want to do. Listen to this podcast for some action tips to …
• In Be Anything But Perfect Gina & Chris talk explore limiting beliefs that could be at the heart of our perfectionist tendencies, highlight the warning signs and share some tips we can use to be successful even when we aren’t perfect.
• In (Un)Great Expectations Gina & I discuss how our high expectations can come at a high cost to our relationships and ultimately are the cause of any hurt we feel. Listen to this for tips on how perspective and clarity can ease the disappointment.
• If your perfectionism strays into external comparisons then you will want to listen to The Danger of Comparisons. Paul & Gina talk about the negative impacts of comparing ourselves to unrealistic ideals, and the way some industries contribute to these false images that we aspire to. Listen to this for a more healthy solution to comparisons that damage your self esteem and confidence.
• In Don’t Call Me Perfect… I bust the myth that coaches must be perfect, and explain why we all have a choice between judging ourselves or trying to improve. Read it for 4 questions that will allow you to start exploring your ‘shadow’ side.

Returning to creativity – one of the best pieces of advice I received just before I started writing a book last year was that it was better to have a completed manuscript that needed a lot of editing, than no manuscript at all.

Having parked perfectionism at the door and allowed myself to write the novel, I wholeheartedly agree – and think that this is a great metaphor for anything in life.

I would rather have lived imperfectly, than never to have lived at all!

Please leave a comment and share how perfectionism has stopped you. If you’ve found a way to reboot your action, or this collection of tips has inspired you, then we’d love to know about it!

Sometimes it feels like we’re swinging from one extreme to the other – one moment careening towards a crash, and a moment later, struggling up the mountain without a clear view of when (or if) we’ll reach the top.

Life can feel like a rollercoaster ride of heady peaks and stomach-churning troughs, and whilst we would all be terribly bored if it was just a flat track to the horizon… wouldn’t it be great if we could learn to balance out those pendulum-swings just a little? Even-it-up a bit so that it flowed more smoothly, and we could actually start to enjoy the ride?

Sam joins Paul on his train-journey of discovery into how we can keep the momentum and motivation flowing when we need it most!

In this podcast, Chris and Sam discuss a simple, practical and very effective strategy to quickly regain confidence and make you feel like a superstar before being in the spotlight. They provide two proven ways to achieve this…and it takes less than five minutes!

Leave us a comment and let us know how this works for you and what situation you’d like to have more confidence next time.

Condensing an idea or thought into its key essence without losing meaning is an important skill, yet we can become complacent in our communication.

Have you sent or received an ambiguous “txt msg” lately that could be misunderstood? The convenience of 160-character text messages (SMS) saw us lose meaning in our attempt to be brief and quick.

With the freedom of email, when did you last carefully review a message before sending it? The commoditisation of data has meant it is cheap to send increasingly large quantities of information, reducing the need for brevity.

Although brevity is less appropriate when being creative, journalling or simply chewing the fat with an old friend, it is increasingly more important in marketing, fast-paced work environments, digital communication and the prioritisation of our time.

I love Twitter for its 140-character limit which encourages me to be really clear and concise about what I want to say. It becomes easier with practice, so here are 4 Questions for Brevity to try:

1. What am I *really* trying to say? Think about the outcome you want & what the most important detail is.
2. Who is my message aimed at? Think about the audience and how that might influence what needs to be included.
3. Is it clear enough? Think about the context, and whether there are any assumptions made or details missing.
4. What can I cut without reducing the meaning? Think about how much story or description is necessary to your purpose from Q1.

Please add your comments below, and share your thoughts on:

In what context or situation would it be useful to practice your skills at brevity?

When we hold a belief that is so absolute there is no escaping it, this has real consequences for who we are, how we behave and how we react to situations or people. Yet we don’t always realise we are being so totalitarian.

Even if we catch ourselves uttering definitive sentences, we might wonder why it matters – “So what if I think all women love shopping?” or “So what if I believe relationships always end badly?” or “I’ve never been any good at maths, why should I care now?”

Rather than suggest it is absolutely necessary, Paul and Sam simply suggest it might be worth exploring a belief you have that seems inflexible… join them as they share some tips for how to identify an absolute belief, and then some ways to gently challenge this – from the ridiculous to the more scientific!

You might also want to ponder: What would it mean to you if it wasn’t always true?

Many thanks to Rob for the topic suggestion that sent us down a rabbit hole, where we discovered Pandora’s Box!

Not just providing a ‘positive thinking’ theory, they guide you through a specific set of actions and provide a simple framework for you to take on a transformational 30 day challenge to eliminate a key stress or frustration from your life.

Listen to the podcast and leave a comment to let us know you’re taking the challenge and how we can help you to succeed.

Chances are, we’ve been carrying them around with us regardless of whether they are still in our lives or not… This isn’t a horror story, but it is a scary thought!

I was recently introduced to the idea of the “dungeon” as part of the inner castle of our mind (or soul) – and even at a surface level, this metaphor can be incredibly powerful!

What if we lock every person who’s ever hurt us (or whom we’ve ever been angry with) in a deep, dark, damp cell in the dungeon of our mind? What if we did that, and threw away the keys, forgetting that we’d locked them in there at all?

The weight and pain of such a thing would be more than we might think we could bear, but people end up in our dungeons because we haven’t forgiven or released the perceived wrong that they did. The idea that we might all secretly be dungeon-masters, dishing out punishment and neglect is not a comfortable one… and we might try to trick ourselves at first thought – and decide we’ve not got anyone locked in any dungeon – thank you very much!

But if we did, what is it costing us to keep those people, events and hurts locked away inside us?

It is worth playing with this idea, even just briefly. So I encourage you to entertain the concept for a few minutes, and ask yourself:

“Who or what might be locked away in my dungeon?”

Some of the hurts might go back to our childhood, and others may be more recent additions to the dark cohort. Once I started playing with this, I had one particularly person spring very vehemently to mind! Others were slower to reveal themselves, and I’m sure there are even more waiting in the wings (aka the cells!).

Releasing anyone from our inner dungeon might seem like a tall order, particularly as we probably still feel they deserve to be there! But by allowing ourselves to recognise who and how many people we are dragging around after us – sustaining them in their dungeon home – can be quite an enlightening experience.

We might find it liberating to consider letting someone go. Not to condone what they did, but simply to break the hold it had over us in that deep inner place.

… It might even be like shucking off a ball and chain!

We’ve all had the experience of someone giving us the most infuriating piece of advice, regardless of how well-intentioned it is – especially when they seem to be quoting clichéd phrases just “Just learn to let it go”.

These sorts of banal phrases can really push our buttons, but this ultimately makes the situation (and how we’re feeling) worse. So Sam and Paul explore some ways to not only re-frame the moments when we find ourselves on the receiving end of a poorly-timed or unhelpful piece of advice, but also some alternative ways of responding to the psychobabble that could help take the sting out of it.

This is a longer podcast than normal because whilst Gina & Sam are very passionate about their own daily journals, they realise that not everyone will be as excited or comfortable with the idea

… so they start by exploring some tips for people who might experience strong resistance to the idea of writing down their thoughts every day. The process of writing in this way can skyrocket your success and happiness: and alongside discussing the many benefits of journaling, they also explore some of the ways to make it work best for you.

[Gina & Sam both use a form of journaling from The Artist's Way called Morning Pages - for more info have a look here.]

Sam and Paul explore the process of outsourcing and compare it to the general delegation of a task; both can be quite a minefield if you aren’t careful!

So, just because you have given the work to someone else to complete, doesn’t mean you are off the hook or no longer responsible. You still need to work with them to ensure the results are what you expect!

Whether you delegate chores at home, tasks at work or larger outsourcing projects/roles, join us as we explore the dangers and challenges of delegating a task, along with some tips and strategies to ensure it goes according to plan (and doesn’t backfire on you)!

There is certainly something very energising and uplifting about sunny skies and spring bulbs and fresh air without the chill. And for me, this has been accompanied by a deep sense of gratitude – how thankful I am for each ray of sunshine, how beautiful each flower is and how free it feels to finally ditch the thermal underwear I’d been living in for nearly 5 full months!

And whether coincidentally or through divine guidance, I’m experiencing a rebirth of sorts – beginning a new chapter of my life, and giving birth to some dreams that I’ve wanted to nurture for a long while now. It feels like Spring poetry in action!

Alongside the gratitude comes a sense of the impossible becoming – not just possible – but something real! If the sun can rediscover Scotland after such a long bitter winter, and the daffodils and tulips can emerge from the dark soil so bright and happy, then maybe the incredible plans and ideas that I have can take shape too…

It seems like this time of year invites more curiosity, more creativity and more hope! And it is the perfect opportunity for us to give ourselves small gifts of time – to play with that curiosity and wonder and fun. To reconnect with nature and the explorers in our hearts. Because if we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy these moments now, then it is all too easy to miss out on them for the rest of the year.

In the same way that the flower buds form and then open to greet the sun, so too is this our chance to raise our faces to the warmth of new beginnings. And in my gratitude, and with the benefit of hindsight from a sunny day, I can also see that the winter (with its cold darkness that made me want to cocoon at home by the heater) had its purpose. It allowed me to regroup, gather my ideas together and prepare the space for new seeds to germinate. Each season has its purpose, and our dreams and goals experience the flow of seasons too.

So I invite you to get curious with me, just now:

• Just take a moment to think about all the (little or big) things you can be grateful for. If you need inspiration, try a quick walk in a nearby park or even a look out the window if your view is more than just man-made structures!
• Jot down a couple of words or thoughts about some impossible things that could become possible with the creative energy of this time of year.
• Decide to give yourself permission to enjoy 5 (or even 30) minutes outside the next time the sun is shining. What would you do to enjoy it?
• What ideas or goals might have been germinating over the winter that could start sprouting (if they haven’t already!) with a little bit of nurturing?
• What one habit or action or plan could do with a fresh perspective, to re-energise and uplift it?

Did you allow yourself to get curious and play with some of those questions, just for a few moments?

If not: then what would it take, for you to let your inner explorer be courageous this week? (Remember – you can always put your curiosity back under lock & key again later, if you aren’t wanting to live with such excitement all the time!) Would you still choose to pass up on the chance to enjoy just a little bit of the energy of this season if you knew it was your last chance for this year?

And: if you did allow yourself to get curious and play with even one of the questions above, then I’d like to acknowledge you for your Spring spirit, and offer you another question – What would you need to do to schedule in just a little bit of spring fun each week from now?

Wishing you warmth & joy!

Sam

P.S. Along with the brighter weather has also come the inevitable ‘spring clean’ urge – so I’m making sure I get as much time outdoors and in the fresh air, as I am indoors and tidying/cleaning/clearing out stuff!

“Do you think that the more formal process of goal setting works better for everybody, and everyone should use it to achieve more?”

Sam and Paul consider the options and situations where structured goal setting is really required, but admit themselves that they don’t always have to follow a rigid process to move towards their dreams.

Thanks Matt for a brilliant question!

Yes, it’s that important.

Sam and Gina discuss their own challenges with getting things done and explore breaking things down into chucks and having “medium milestones” to help keep things on track

Read Chris’s related blog post on how we find so many excuses not to do things here

Can you relate to the feeling of:

• Making things harder for yourself than they need to be?
• Allowing yourself to be distracted by something other than your priority?
• Punishing yourself when something isn’t perfect?
• Taking on too much when you know you can’t fit everything in?

Sometimes sabotage can show up in a way that obviously affects our goals, and other times it can show up more subtly. For example, I recently noticed myself being clumsy and getting injured a lot – which is very unlike me. All the bumps and bruises were subtly trying to distract me from the important actions I needed to take. But a more obvious example is: if you are focusing on becoming more healthy, then buying chocolates and crisps (because someone else in the house or visitors might need them) is a more direct form of sabotage – which puts the temptation right in front of you.

So why do we self-sabotage – particular the dreams we most want?

And more importantly, what can we do about it?

There is usually a pattern to our sabotaging behaviour, and this is likely to be driven by an underlying fear – so that we aren’t consciously aware of it, but it is ticking away in our sub-conscious like a time-bomb.

Because the fear is buried away, it can be hard to identify, but at its heart – the attempts to stop you achieving what you want are also giving you something to blame when things do go wrong. For example, “I would have achieved that if only … hadn’t gone wrong.”

So here is a 3-step plan for nullifying self-sabotage:

1. Starting from a place of building awareness, there are little signs we can look for to spot self-sabotage in action:
   • If you catch yourself doing something that is “unlike you”
   • If it feels like the world & his dog are against you, and trying to stop you from achieving your goal
   • If you are having trouble concentrating on and prioritising what is important to you
   • Things are feeling much harder and more draining than you think they should be

   Once you start noticing these feelings or behaviours, then you can choose to do something about it. The key to ending self-sabotage is to be willing to explore what is causing it – because when you bring it to light, it can’t continue to tick away underneath the surface anymore.

2. Explore the underlying fear. This is unlikely to be the most obvious reason, so asking yourself some quality questions can help identify the root cause:
   • What will it mean for me if I achieve my dream (or do well at this)?
   • What will people think of me once I’ve reached my goal?
   • I deserve my dream because…?

   For example, I was suffering severe stage fright prior to doing some live webinars and calls recently. I’ve never had stage-fright before, but it wasn’t fear of speaking to a group of people that was affecting me. When I asked myself the first question above, I realised that if I did well at this one it would mean I’d have to do more of them! So it was more about avoiding the thing that felt uncomfortable, than doing the actual presentation itself.
   You might not need to work through each of these questions, or there might be another question that works better for you. But if none of them resonate, then you can try asking yourself “Why?” five times when thinking about the fear that is holding you back to uncover its root.

3. Finally, it will help to choose empowering beliefs that will help you towards your dream rather than halt you from it. Try asking yourself:
   • What would I need to believe about myself to feel confident about achieving my goal?
   • What would I need to believe about myself to feel I deserve my dream?
   • In order to enjoy working towards my goal, what would I need to believe about it/myself?

   Again – you only need to answer one or two of these questions, but if you struggle to answer any of them there is another place you can start. Instead, ask yourself: “In order to feel so badly about taking this action or achieving my goal I’d need to believe …?”And once you’ve answered that one, return to the other questions. Chances are you’ll now find an answer to one of them, which you can compare to your initial response. You can then choose to work with and nurture the belief that empowers you, rather than the one that has been holding you back and sabotaging your success.

And once you’ve worked through these three steps, you can then address some of the feelings that self-sabotage had been causing – like learning to say “no” to something if you’ve already got other commitments or before you get to the point of feeling like there is too much to do; allowing something to be “good enough” rather than aiming for the impossible ideal of perfection; getting very clear about your priority, so that distractions come second-fiddle; and allowing the process of taking action towards your dream or goal to be easy and enjoyable instead of expecting it to be hard and painful!

Have you had any experiences of self-sabotage? How did you spot them, and how did you respond? Let us know whether you’ve had dreams derailed by fear, or whether you’ve been able to turn it around. And please do share with us if any of this resonated, or if the 3 steps help you move forwards with your goal!

Show me the video!

If you want 2011 to be a year you can be proud of, then make sure you don’t miss this video – as it will only be available until midnight Fri 25th February (UK time)!

I want to watch it right now! I understand the free training presentation will be taken down at midnight on Fri 25, & I don’t want to miss out!

In this variation from the usual podcasts, Chris and Sam share why they are so excited about this never-presented-before content that has been created for you. After 2 years and over 80,000 downloads (plus blog posts too), we know it’s time to expand what we do and bring you even more insights, tools and value to help you achieve all you want to in 2011.

It’s free. It’s powerful.

It’s the turning point you’ve been seeking.

We look forward to having you join us for this incredibly powerful presentation!

Today, I’ve been out-of-sorts (or crabbit, as they call it up here!) all day, feeling lethargic and even a bit nauseous… not to mention having trouble concentrating. Why? Largely because I chose to ignore what my body was telling me during the last 24hrs.

Firstly, I was thirsty much of yesterday, yet only managed to drink about 3 glasses of water despite my dry mouth and deep sense of craving. Secondly, I went to bed late even though I was tired and then felt knackered when I awoke in spite of the 9hrs sleep I’d had. And thirdly, I ate a big slab of baked Camembert for lunch rather than finding myself something decent to eat.

We can probably all relate to self-inflicted late nights, over-indulgence and dehydration at times, so what is so significant about this? Basically, because I know better than to do this to myself. Why? Because my body told me so, and has done on many occasions!

I know from past experience that if I am not asleep by about 11pm, then it doesn’t matter how many hours I get, I’ll still wake feeling tired and poorly-rested. I also know that when I am thirsty, I sometimes confuse water cravings for sugar ones… which leaves me feeling doubly bad (because I don’t drink enough water to wash all the sugar out of my system). And I certainly know that when I have dairy these days, I tend to feel sick afterwards – no matter how much I enjoyed it at the time.

I know these things, because my body has repeatedly given me messages confirming them – particularly when I forget myself and decide to splurge with a late night, lots of chocolate or anything creamy! My body is infinitely patient, and despite my continued mistakes, it simply keeps reminding me that I’m not listening.

But the cost is much more than just feeling crabbit all day.

I haven’t taken some of the actions I’d had planned for today to progress my big goals. I have minimised my chance of feeling refreshed and well-rested come the end of the weekend, and will probably find Monday morning more of a struggle because of this. And I also feel guilty, because deep down, I know this is not how my body deserves to be treated.

On top of that, I’ve also re-enforced some of the bad habits I’ve been working to shift – equivalently undoing some of the good work achieved previously. So how can we tune in to our body wisdom to better effect?

Here are a couple of things to try:

• Simply take a few moments to notice how you physically feel after you eat or drink something. Do you feel good? Lethargic? Refreshed? Unwell?
• Likewise, when you wake in the morning how do you feel? Are you ready to bound out of bed? Feeling like you need another night’s rest? Stressed because you’ve hit the snooze button a few times without realising?
• How do you feel at the end of the day, and what were your activity levels? Were you sedentary for most of the day (at a desk, pc or driving etc)? Did you get your body moving with some exercise?
• Use trial-and-error to check how your body reacts to differences in your diet, exercise or sleep patterns. What seems to work best for you?
• Try picking just one thing that works well for you, and persist with it for a while. What differences do you notice? And how do you feel if you ignore the magic of your body wisdom by reverting to an old habit or choice?

Whilst it is best to start with just one thing, rather than trying to overhaul all your physical routines at the one time, do notice what happens when you choose the “wrong” thing… because often one bad choice where we ignore our body wisdom seems to lead to multiple bad choices, and they compound to leave us feeling even worse!

Once we’ve started building our awareness of the messages our body tries to send us, we can start paying more attention to other things like our “gut instinct”, and even our reactions to situations or specific people. There’s an infinite amount of wisdom within our millions of cells just waiting for us to start listening to it!

Leave a comment below and share with us one message that your body repeatedly tries to send you, and what impact it has when you choose to ignore the wisdom! Enjoy the process of becoming more body aware!

Have you recently started something new, or been hesitating from taking the plunge?

Paul & Sam explore different ways of dealing with the teething pains of trying a new challenge, and how you can let them be helpful rather than harmful. Take your pick of perspective shifts to either motivate, strengthen or sign-post you along the way!

Join Chris and Sam as they discuss Tip #1 from the ActionPodcast eBook – 80 Tips, Tricks & Perspective Shifts for Everyday Action – and find out how this can help even the most adamant non-morning-person! Whether it is a quick physical burst, a calm mental focus or a dietary delight, you’ll discover how one simple change (or a combination of them) will transform your whole day and leave you feeling great.

And if you want to know more about Sam’s Awesome Vegan Smoothie (inspired by Chris!), here’s how you can create one yourself:

Makes roughly 1 pint of smoothie. You’ll ideally need to have a good quality blender, although if you leave out the cacao nibs then it’s not quite so important.

3 Large bananas

1-2 handfuls of pre-washed baby spinach

A generous sprinkling of ground almonds

A light sprinkling of raw cacao nibs (if you like some crunch)

Cold water (enough to thin to taste)

You can use whole or chopped nuts, of whichever type you like, but ground ones are easier on the blender and I love almonds!

Peel & break up the bananas and drop them into the blender. Add the ground almonds, and (optional) cacao nibs, top with the baby spinach leaves, and then add water (a few hundred ml should be enough, but you can vary the thickness of the smoothie with the water). Make sure the water is cold, as warm smoothie isn’t nearly as nice!

Blend just enough for there to be no remaining banana chunks, and for the clunking of the cacao nibs to have lessened. Don’t over-blend, as the bananas can become goopy. Pour it out into a pint glass, and enjoy! It might look bizarre, but I find it delicious – and it leaves me feeling fab all day!

There’s an infinite amount of variation you can apply to this (different fruit, nuts, supplements etc), so just get creative and find something that works for you!

Whilst expectations themselves seem part of human nature, those of us who hold high expectations for ourselves – complete with perfectionist foibles – tend to have reasonably high expectations of those around us too. Particularly if they are close to us!

But the greater the expectation, the more power it has to hurt us. All hurt and disappointment can be traced back to an expectation we’ve held. One of the 55 Concepts for Conscious Living tell us that “hurt is not getting what you want”. The catch-22 of expectations though, is that we also tend to assume others know what it is we want! So we don’t tell them – which means they’d either need to be mind-readers, or chances are they’ll disappoint us somehow.

How we respond to the inevitable hurts and disappoints has the ability to make or break our relationships. So join Gina and Sam as they discuss some of the ways that we can handle our great disappointments, and choose clarity as an alternative to our (un)great expectations – especially when it matters most!

P.S. Visit the 55 Concepts for Conscious Living on facebook!

The January focus on resolutions and new goals almost comes with a sense that if we want to change anything, we’ve got this narrow window of the 1st month of the year in which to make it happen. We might decide to lose weight, clean-out our house, get the garden ready for spring and take on more responsibility at work. We pick a handful of big goals for different areas of our lives that we want to improve, and think we’ll be able to tackle them all at once…

Aside from putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on ourselves, this approach is also ineffectual! Change can be challenging at the best of times, and if we try to do too much at once we may find we are setting ourselves up for failure. It is one thing to pick yourself up & get back on the horse after you’ve taken a fall, but if you’ve fallen off a chair, a motorbike and a cliff in that same week, then you’re unlikely to bounce back up again as easily.

And seriously – falling off the horse is inevitable (no matter what your goal)!

But it is our ability to get ourselves back on-track again that is the difference between success and failure.

So if you leave yourself (and your confidence) feeling so battered and bruised from the falls of multiple challenges, then chances are by March you’ll have abandoned all of them. Disappointed and disheartened, how likely are you to feel enthusiastic about tackling a new change any time soon?

This is definitely a case of (starting with) Less is More.

If you focus on just one or two goals instead, you’ll not only be much clearer about what it is you want to achieve, but you’ll find your confidence is much more resilient, and your efforts much more sustainable in the longer term.

So whilst you might want to save the world, start a new business, write 6 books, get healthy and have a social life in 2011, I’d encourage you to think about one (or two) key goals that you can really focus on this year. But how do you choose which ones are key?

1. Ask yourself: “If I get to the end of 2011 and I have (or have not) achieved this, how will I feel?”
2. Think about the reason why you want each goal, and explore the potential consequences & benefits of achieving them. Which one or two mean the most to you?
3. Remind yourself that it doesn’t mean you’ll NEVER do the other things – this is not a “No”, its just a “No, for now”.

You can always add another goal to your list later in the year – once you’ve got a few months of proof and confidence in the progress you’ve made with your original one.

P.S. If you are determined that 2011 is going to be different, and want it to be your best year yet – then we’re about to announce a really exciting new training event that you definitely won’t want to miss!

Not only will you have quadrupled your chances of staying on-track with your goals, but you’ll also be a lot clearer about your priorities and will make decisions much more easily.

Even if we only pick one or two things to focus on at the start of the year, we are bombarded with new ideas, new changes, new hurdles, new distractions almost constantly. And it is much easier to say no to extra things, and stay focused on what is most important, when you are really clear about what your top priorities are.

Leave a comment and let us know what one or two things you are choosing to focus on this year. Declaring it publicly is a great way to build power, momentum and motivation for YOUR top priority!

All I want for Christmas is for you to have a wonderful time and celebrate your festive socks off.

Spend time with friends, family or even if you are working, have an amazing time.

If I did have just one wish though it would be to have you tell your friends and family about Action Podcast and have them listen to one of our podcasts or browse through our blog posts. Let them know there is a free ebook ready and waiting for them too!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

Chris and Sam cover how to identify your own pet peeves and how to turn the situation around convert problem into a solution and often how to even stop it becoming a recurring frustation.

But there is a simple solution…

Kindness!

An act of kindness, especially in the midst of chaos, not only makes you and the person you’ve helped feel better – but it can actually help counter-act some of the effects of stress from the festive season too…

We’ve all heard of the ripple-effect: where an action we take has an impact that ripples out like small waves from a pebble dropped in a pond. So if we give the gift of kindness with a smile, or a helping hand, then that will not only benefit the person we’ve helped, but it may well influence how they act towards others and the ripples continue spreading. What a wonderful gift to share!

But watching David R. Hamilton’s short video message has taught me something I didn’t know – that the chemicals produced when we connect with someone through an act of kindness can actually counter-act the effects of stress that we might be experiencing due to other pressures of the festive season. In fact, David suggests that a genuine hug can even lead to us having a healthy heart!

Now – I’ve done a wee bit of study into the physiological and mental impacts of stress, and the stress-hormones that are created within our bodies, and ANY way to reduce the impact of these stressful times is well worth trying. So, here’s a festive challenge for you wrapped up as a gift:

• When you are in a busy shop, take a moment to really thank the person serving you, and acknowledge how challenging it must be to deal with demanding customers at this time of year. Try this even if the service wasn’t as festive as you’d have liked!
• Smile at someone when you are standing at a bus stop, walking down the street in the snow, or waiting in a queue. Make eye contact with them briefly, and share a genuine smile – most people will smile back automatically (it is almost contagious!)
• Plan a small Christmas gift for someone you wouldn’t normally give to. It could be a neighbour you don’t know well, an acquaintance or someone random. The gift itself doesn’t have to be much – homemade sweeties, a beautiful card or a scratch-lottery ticket. The surprise will be as much a gift as what you give.
• Support a charity – at this time of year and in this economy, charities need all the support they can get. A few hours or a few pounds spent sorting out unwanted clothes from your wardrobe, or offering pet-food to an animal shelter or wildlife hospital could be a real act of kindness that has a massive impact.

Whatever you choose to do, one act of kindness can go a long way.

So as soon as you start noticing yourself getting stressed or tense with festive worries or complaints, just pause for a second and give yourself the gift of kindness by offering it to someone else!

1 Act of Kindness = Happiness to you, Joy to the Receiver, AND reduced Festive stress-levels!

Add your ideas for small acts of kindness to the comments below to help inspire other readers, and please let us know how an act of kindness has helped transform a situation for you too!

It was always going to be a wild challenge, and early on it grew a tail as well as threatening teeth & claws! But it has taken all my resources as a coach and a life-long learner to stick with it. The challenge is to write 30,000 words in 30 days – which is quite a stretch from the only other piece of lengthy writing I’ve done (6,000 words over a few months). I started with one month of research, followed by one month of planning, and yet November has still felt under-prepared.

I’d completed a SMARTER (Specific, Measurable, Appealing, Realistic, Timely, Ecological, Resourceful) goal analysis, and broken it down into more manageable chunks by deciding to write 1,000 words a day. But within the first week of the challenge I was already 4,000 words behind!

Where did I stumble?

• Measuring too much: with the focus on writing 1,000 words each day, I was continually using “word count” as I typed, to measure my progress. This was counter-productive, as it disrupted my flow and was demoralising when the numbers were increasing more slowly than I’d expected.
• Not acknowledging my success: Paul & I are such fans of back-patting ourselves because it really works. But I was forgetting to do it, because I was focusing on how far behind schedule I was. By the end of week 2, I had caught up with my anticipated progress, and only then remembered to celebrate my achievement.
• Didn’t plug the experience gap: whilst writing is something I love doing, I have almost never written dialogue, and it hadn’t occurred to me to plug that gap with some practice ahead of time. For every hour I spend typing dialogue, it is probably accompanied by another hour of thinking about what and how it will be “said”.
• Validation Catch-22: all new ideas or works of creativity are fragile things to begin with. I decided to protect the story from myself and others’ opinions (by not sharing or editing it); but this felt like writing into a void. I needed external validation other than word-count, and eventually chose one person I felt I could entrust the first chapter to. Definitely the right decision, as it has helped confirm that I can translate the magic in my imagination onto ‘paper’ for others to share.

I’m now at over 15,200 words – so how did I turn it around?

• One word at a time! 1,000 words a day is still a large chunk, so by acknowledging that every word counts and breaking my focus into smaller baby-steps, it has helped me to keep going even when I was struggling. I also stopped using the word-count function so regularly, and forgave myself for having fallen behind!
• My challenge, MY growth. I knew what this challenge meant to me, and by reminding myself of how I would feel once I’d completed it, helped me to push on when I was sleep-deprived or upset or uncertain how to continue. This is different to my purpose (“why” I was doing it: to save the Scottish Wildcats), but equally important. For me this is about personal integrity and commitment and contribution.
• Asking for help! There have been a great range of people supporting me through this: with enthusiasm, ideas, promotion, sponsorship donations and encouragement – including the occasional reminder of what I’m achieving! By being able to ask for support when I needed it most, has meant I’ve not been striving alone.
• Mantras for Momentum. Before I started writing, I was plagued by doubts about what I’d put into motion when I committed to this crazy challenge! So I created three short mantras that serve to balance me: “I give thanks that I am writing what I’m meant to write. I give thanks that the sponsorship donations are increasing daily. I give thanks that we are saving the Scottish Wildcats”.

I am deeply grateful for all the support I’ve received, and feel honoured to be doing something that will make a real and much-needed difference. And thank YOU too, because being part of ActionPodcast.com has taught me so much about myself and how I tackle challenges, that I am sure I wouldn’t be here at this point without the AP team and all our listeners and readers who’ve been with us over the last couple of years!

♥  Sam

“Think about an action you’ve been considering: which of the tips above would allow you to avoid some of the early hurdles before they trip you up?”

We all face stumbling-blocks in our daily lives, as well as during times when we step out of our comfort zones; and many of these techniques for success can be applied to any challenge that we set ourselves – large or small.

If you are feeling inspired after reading this, or want to share the details of a challenge you’ve set yourself, then we would love to hear from you. Please rate this post, add a comment and don’t forget to check out our ebook packed with 80 great tips to help you create every day action momentum!

This tip was also covered in our ebook which you can download instantly by popping your email address into the box in the top right corner of this page.

What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-reading People[Paperback] 

That’s a nice ideal to work towards, but it is as ridiculous as it is impossible!

We are simply human – and I sometimes like to think of humanity as “perfect in our imperfection”. I might try to radiate love, but I certainly don’t manage it 100% of the time. And whilst I’m increasing the success and happiness and fulfillment in my life (& hopefully inspiring it in others), there’s a long way to go yet.

In fact, for me – working on these goals and dreams and visions sometimes comes at a cost to those closest to me; when I’ve run out of time or energy or the amount of ‘me’ that I have available to share. So I’m definitely not perfect.

The critical factor though, is one that allows me to feel I’m being authentic and operating from integrity as a coach and as a person. And that is my willingness to look at my darker sides, and to always work on improving myself.

Every time I react in a way that is inappropriate, unbecoming or even childish…

Every time I say something I don’t mean, that is inconsiderate or hurtful…

Every time I disappoint myself, or let myself and others down…

I am fully aware that I have a choice about my behaviour.

The point of awareness is almost like watching yourself from an out-of-body experience: you can see/hear yourself in a situation, and part of you thinks “Why am I saying/doing that? That’s not who I want to be” but there can be a sense of powerlessness in the moment, as you watch the scene play out.

I could choose to ignore that awareness, and next time round behave in exactly the same way. But that is not who I want to be. It is painful looking at the parts of yourself that you’d rather hide; and to change them sometimes feels like putting them on display for everyone to judge. But it is our own judgement we’re actually hiding from.

So, instead of judging, think about the last time you said or did something that was out of integrity, and get curious:

• Why might I have behaved in that way?
• How would I have liked to behave?
• What are some other alternatives?
• What can I learn from this?

There is no guarantee that you’ll get it right next time, but you will certainly have a stronger sense of choice when the moment comes. And step by step, you’ll move closer to being more of the person you want to be.

After all, that’s the most we can ask of ourselves – which is far more realistic than trying to be perfect.

In this podcast, Sam and Chris discuss three levels of listening and offer practical tips to ensure you not only listen well but remain engaged and interested in your conversations.

This topic was inspired by the recent request from a listener, and our answering podcast – The Dance of a Social Butterfly.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

In this podcast, Sam and Chris explore the emotional impact of falling behind and simple shifts you can make to minimise the impact and quickly get back on track.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

True team work!

It is such a joy to be part of the AP team, and I think this has been a vital factor in our success because we all truly love what we’re creating together. But it has very much been a roller-coaster ride, rather than smooth sailing – so I’m inspired to share some top tips for team work at this fortuitous time.

• Acknowledge & Accept Uniqueness: Chris, Gina, Paul and I are totally different people! We have different strengths, different passions and different foibles! Every team is filled with individuals, and when this is recognised and appreciated – everyone has the chance to feel that they belong and can find their own place within the group.
• Seek Other Perspectives: Not only are we unique, but we also have different opinions! Instead of arguing or simply agreeing about an idea, we always try to explore the reasons behind why we each feel the way we do. Having four (or more) perspectives means that your team are more likely to be better prepared, and to have considered most alternatives before deciding on the option that best suits the team’s objectives.
• Regularly Re-Clarify Objectives: The times we’ve nearly ‘slipped off the rails’ have been times when we lost sight of our joint objectives. By re-clarifying what our team focus is every month or two, we are much more aligned on everything we do. Checking regularly that everyone understands the reason why the team exists and what the group’s priorities are will ensure that issues or confusion are raised and resolved much sooner, and acts as a rudder to keep the team on track.
• Ask For Help: There are times when each of us needs to step back a pace, and the others naturally step forward to pick up the slack. The attention and effort we can each commit to ActionPodcast varies week to week, and we cope best as a team when we know where the others stand. When individuals feel safe to ask for help, or admit that they need to step back slightly, it not only gives the rest of the team a chance to keep things running smoothly but also lets people stretch their wings and feel helpful.
• Agree to Disagree: Not every decision we make is unanimous, and there are times when we have to go with a majority vote. We are often guided by what our group mission and objectives are, so that we consistently move in the best direction. In a team it is important to respect each person’s opinion, and also the fact that a decision ultimately needs to be made – so agreeing to disagree allows the team to move forwards without people taking it personally or getting upset.
• No right or wrong: The 4 of us have different ways of approaching things from where to start, what type of plan is needed, what we most enjoy or dislike, to how we communicate or receive information. We got off to a great start with a new project when we realised we don’t all need to start at the same point. In a race, runners have staggered starting points but all understand that they are running in the same direction around the same track – operating in this way as a team can allow everyone to find their own rhythm and contribution – without needing to have a single starting point.

Which of these 6 tips would make the biggest difference to a team you are part of just now?

Being a member of a team can bring many complications, personality-clashes and emotions, yet I can emphatically say that being part of the AP team has taught me so much about myself and how I interact with others – and I wouldn’t change it for anything! I am very capable on my own, but I thrive within the group and truly feel I add as much value to the team as I receive from being part of it. In fact, to borrow a cliche – the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts!

On behalf of the AP team we would also like to send heartfelt thanks to you and all our listeners for your support, comments and questions – we couldn’t do this without you!

We would love to hear from you – so please leave us a comment below or contact one of the AP team directly. If you haven’t already – then Sign up to receive our podcasts directly to your inbox with an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book – launching soon!

So when a listener wrote in recently, Sam & Paul were keen to present a bouquet of flowers as thanks:

Whether its a small dinner party or a large event, join us as we explore the different levels of attention we can switch between at a social events, and how to combat the sense of guilt when you find yourself tired, bored or feeling trapped. With a bit of practice and these neat tips, the dance of the social butterfly is one we can all start to enjoy!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

Sam's Doodle Beetle (C) 2010

Chris and Sam explore why learning from the best isn’t cheating, and Chris explains that there are key elements common to all successful achievement regardless of the type of activity you are wanting to excel at. Mixing in a pinch of every-day-action, and a bit of fun!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

Paul and Sam explore the possibilities of asking “How to…?” do something – whether it is drawing, cooking or starting a podcast! From opening a Pandora’s box on Google, to discussing the merits of having a clear goal (or picture) vs simply knowing where to start; different styles can even affect our self-criticism!

Join us for this teddy-bears’ picnic! (And do share your drawing on our Facebook page if you take up the How-to-draw-a-Bear Challenge!)

Paul's How-to-draw-a-bear!

Sam's How-to-draw-a-bear!

And here’s a sneaky video of Paul’s drawing in action!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

Now I have to confess that I suffer from post-exam stress more than pre-exam stress – and I’m the first to admit that you can’t change anything after the fact so worrying about it once you’ve left the exam room makes no sense whatsoever. But when I was studying for my exam in Higher Psychology earlier this year, I had a lot of respect for my classmates who were taking multiple subjects (when I was doing just the one for fun). What did concern me though, was that I hadn’t sat a 2.5hr long exam for at least 10 years!

If you google it, there are actually lots of resources online that will give you tips and methods for dealing with pre-exam stress, and extra support may also be available through your educational institution and/or your local doctor (GP) if you are suffering more than most. It would seem silly for me to rehash info that is already out there, so instead I’ll share some unusual tips that I picked up whilst doing my Higher this year:

1. When we are trying to learn something, our brain makes connections to things we already know or stuff that is meaningful to us, which might be why we learn things that we’re really interested in much quicker than something we find boring. Even if a mathematical equation or a topic we need to learn seems totally annoying – we can create our own meaning for it that makes it more memorable. An example of this is that I can still remember SOH CAH TOA from high-school trigonometry because someone once told me it was a swear word in another language! Whether it was or not, it clearly appealed to my sense of humour all those years ago as I can still remember it to this day.
2. Memory and concentration can be affected by your mood and how you are physically feeling, but this isn’t just about making sure you are comfortable when you go into the exam (like not being too cold, or needing to go to the bathroom etc). For example, if you learn something whilst you are feeling excited then chances are you’ll find it easier to recall the info when you are feeling excited again rather than grumpy. Before you start studying, spend a minute thinking about feeling confident, focused and energised. Take a break every 30mins or so whilst studying and repeat it. Then before you go into your exam, take a few minutes to tap back into that feeling – this will not only distract you from feeling stressed, but will also help your memory to tune in on things you learnt whilst you were feeling that way.
3. Memory can also be strongly influenced by the environment we are in at the time of learning, and sometimes that means we need that same environment to be able to remember things. Use this to your advantage by studying in conditions that are as close to those of the exam as possible! This does mean that studying with the TV on in the background, whilst lying down, or late at night can be less helpful than studying somewhere like the library during the day, seated at a desk. It might sound boring – but try it for yourself and see if it makes a difference.
4. Past exam papers are widely available for most topics, and whilst I certainly found doing a few of them under timed conditions helped me, there is another way that these can be an important part of your preparation. Simply read through the questions from at least 4-6 past papers. Chances are, there will be a wide variation of the types of questions asked, how they are worded, and what parts of the topic they ask about. This means that you may spot a few that you’ve got no idea how to answer – in which case it might pay to do a bit of extra study on those questions. It also means you’ll be more familiar with the style of questions that you may face when you open the exam paper, so you are less likely to be caught off-guard.
5. Study in a way that works for you. There is no right or wrong way to study, and what works for one person might not work for another. Notice whether you find it easier to simply read through text books and make summaries, write out your notes multiple times, use mind-maps or visual images, rhymes and acronyms or different colours to highlight things: whatever works best for you, is the best way to do it!
6. Last but not least – don’t indulge the feelings of stress! This might sound impossible or just ridiculous, but if we focus on the stress and bad stuff then it’s like a broken record. Every time you find yourself worrying about your exams, choose to think about something else instead. You might choose to think about something totally different like your favourite hobby/song/colour (as a distraction), or you could choose to focus on how good you’ll feel when you get the exam result you wanted (visualising your success), or reverse the stressful thought so “I’ll fail my exams” becomes “I’ll pass my exams” (the opposite of the stressful thought). Each time you catch yourself thinking negatively about your exams, change your thought! This might mean you need to do it a lot to begin with, but gradually your thoughts will become more helpful.

Of course, none of these tips will overcome a lack of planning or refusal to study – and the sooner you start preparing, the more preparation you’ll be able to fit in before exam-day. At high-school I tended to cram rather than get myself organised, but the one thing ActionPodcast and my experience has taught me is that a little (tiny) bit of effort every day is far more effective than a whole lot in one big go!

Good studying, and remember – small steps each day!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

As we grow up, we pick up certain beliefs or ideas about the world that stick with us into adult life – and even if we are aware of them, we rarely question them, simply taking them at face value.

I was thinking about my belief ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’ and how disadvantaged someone would be if they never believed that with a bit of focused effort and determination there is almost always a way around, through, over, under or out of an obstacle. Almost immediately though, my brain chimed in that sometimes this belief is damn frustrating too! Why is that? Well, if I believe that there is always a solution for everything, then if I am trying and failing it must mean that I simply haven’t found the ‘right’ solution yet.

The problem with that is we are never in control of everything (and rarely in control of most things) so there are occasions when we either need to:

• adjust our path
• make a decision about whether something is still important enough to pursue
• change our expectations about when or how we achieve something
• or stop being precious about the way in which we achieve it.

Yet the flip-side or corollary of ‘Where there is a will, there’s a way’ is an unrealistic sense of responsibility and pressure to make things happen. Funny that – since I’ve always identified myself as my own worst critic!

Maybe there’s a flip-side to all our beliefs then… How about: ‘No pain, no gain’? This was a mantra of pride for me when I was a teen, and I felt it was very character-building when I pushed myself through something that was uncomfortable or unpleasant or both – all in the name of health or achievement. It is only much more recently that I realised this has meant I rejected the thought that progress and success can be easy and enjoyable! If something was too easy, then I couldn’t have done it properly or something must be missing. Hmm.

OK, surely there’s not a hidden side to the belief that ‘No matter how bad things are for me, there’s someone else in the world right now who is much worse off’? Whilst it didn’t totally prevent ‘poor me’ moments as I was growing up, this belief certainly helped put things in perspective when life seemed to mirror the motto on a t-shirt I’d bought that said “I’m always in the shit, only the depth varies!” How could there possibly be a negative side to such a belief? Well: in my own experience it meant that I sometimes accepted bad situations as normal or typical, basically dis-empowering myself from trying to change them; or, I rebelled in a non-constructive way because deep down I knew I needed to challenge it but couldn’t quite reconcile that with being appreciative of what I had that others lacked.

I still retain these beliefs – it wouldn’t be helpful to just ‘throw them out’, even if such a thing were possible. We can challenge our own blind acceptance of them though, by following these steps:

1) Identify a belief you hold that you want to explore.

e.g. “No pain, no gain”.

2) Ask yourself “What does it mean to me?

e.g. It means that I need to make an effort with all I do; that I need to push myself to do something I might not feel like doing, because I know it is worth it in the long run (and repeating it as a mantra can help!); it means prioritising future reward or benefit over immediate desire; it is character-building something to be proud of.

3) Find its flip-side or corollary. You might need to ask yourself this question a few times: “If I believe this, then…what else does this mean?”

e.g. If I believe “No pain, no gain” then this means that if something doesn’t hurt I mustn’t have achieved anything; if I believe this, then if something is easy and enjoyable I mustn’t have completed it fully; so therefore I’ve missed something or not done my best.

4) Ask yourself: “How has this flip-side been influencing my actions or decisions throughout my life?”

e.g. This means I feel dissatisfied and self-critical whenever I do something that is easy or enjoyable! So I’m always looking for what I missed, failing to celebrate (or recognise) my achievements, and suffer an unquenchable thirst for perfectionism!

5) Choose whether you are happy with these additional consequences. If you aren’t, then you can choose to make more active and conscious decisions to change those habits that don’t serve you. Ask yourself “What is the first thing I can do to reverse this consequence?”

e.g. start acknowledging every little thing I do*, find a physical gesture that I could use to congratulate myself (back-patting works really well for me!), start noticing what works that is easy (I have to keep a list of these, and review them each week to make sure I’m doing more of them).

Share one of your beliefs by adding a comment to this post, and either start exploring possible flip-sides that might secretly be influencing you on a daily basis, or simply post it and allow others to help you – as we all have our own interpretations and ideas!

Enjoy!

Sam

* I needed real help with this one, so set myself a major challenge of congratulating myself for EVERYTHING I did for 24hrs. This included: waking up in the morning, eating, going to the loo, washing my hands, answering the phone – everything!

There’s a long-term rivalry in my household, with my little brother and I referring to the sport as soccer, and my other half staunchly calling it football. Whilst it is fun to wind Cam up about the name, it was really moot point as I had absolutely no interest in the game and even less chance of watching it. So I’ve really been happily oblivious to the last few weeks of World Cup Fever.

Before I continue, I’d like to apologise to our ActionPodcast fans and the AP team for being late with my blog post this week. My reminder system clearly wasn’t foolproof and when I read Paul’s reminder email late last night I was horrified that I’d missed my deadline; and equally shocked because the reason I received Paul’s message so late was that I was watching the England vs Algeria game instead of being online! I need not say more about that game… but it did get me thinking about the fact that you should never say never:- and it can be quite an experience to do something you would normally actively avoid.

Watching the game last night, and today’s Australia vs Ghana match (which I secretly enjoyed!), have taught me a few things:

• I watch soccer like my dad! (ie. jumping forward in my seat, calling out at the screen, emotionally sharing the excitement and disappointment of the players and fans).
• I can tune out even the most incessantly annoying noise (ie. the vuvuzela football horns) when I’m focused intently on something – which is quite a feat given my sensitive hearing!
• I’m a genuine good sport, and it is more important to me how a game is played rather than just the end result.

What is interesting is that I always teased my dad about his sport-watching behaviour, that I kept asking Cam to turn the TV down when he was watching other football matches because of the whine of vuvuzela, and I was opposed to soccer because they always seemed to fall to the ground pretending to be hurt like extremely overpaid sissies when ‘real’ footballers (rugby players) take full body contact in their stride!

However, in the last 24 hours I’ve discovered that ‘active’ sports watching can be fun and compelling, that my mind and attention are more powerful than even my near-perfect hearing, and that good football doesn’t have to involve people diving for penalties, but players can still get accidentally hurt and even the best guys sometimes pull on a shirt or tackle late when under pressure.

I’ll even confess to being interested in watching some more of the World Cup games… Perhaps all the things we try to avoid could teach us as much?

May wonders never cease!

Sam and Paul as the question of “So what?” to challenge themselves before someone else does!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

A word of caution! If you find mutual appreciation, positive feedback or expressions of love or adoration unpalatable – then this podcast probably won’t be for you!

These 4 questions were originally introduced to Sam by a fellow coach and friend, who had trained in Brian Mayne’s Life Mapping process. Check out Brian’s site for more information.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

David Cameron and Nick Clegg will likely face as much criticism as support over the “difficult times” and difficult decisions ahead. They have united in a spring clean not just of the electoral system, but also of the status quo and party relationships within all levels of government.

Who would have thought – Tories & Lib Dems?! During the past few weeks I’ve watched with a mixture of healthy skepticism and real curiosity. I have total respect for both these leaders for taking on a tough challenge, and I didn’t envy them their decisions! I have been excited to see what emerges, and to try and understand what it means.

David Cameron and Nick Clegg have had to consider a range of what seemed like ‘less than ideal’ options, and even in the face of that they have been able to seek and find true opportunity. Personally and politically, they’ve had to perform an honest evaluation of what wasn’t working – especially if it had done in the past.

So in the spirit of this sea change, we are offered the opportunity to look critically at our own beliefs and attitudes. What isn’t working? What relationship do we need to re-evaluate? Perhaps our relationship with ourselves, with money, with our partners/friends/family, with responsibility, with politics, with …?

As I noted down some ideas for this blog post earlier today, I realised this is exactly what I’ve done in relation to politics over the last few months. I was previously of the opinion that the three things you never discuss with anyone (especially family & close friends!) were religion, politics and sex. I ‘didn’t do’ politics; actively avoiding it until someone pointed out that this was in fact a political stance! I was happy that voting in the UK was optional (whereas it’s compulsory in Australia, and you get fined for not doing it).

And yet, I voted in this election. In the last few weeks I’ve spoken to family, friends, colleagues and college buddies about politics. I’ve facebooked about it! I read up on the parties and their main points of policy. Somewhere along the line I decided that if I was to vote I needed to make an informed choice. I watched as the first election results came in live, I’ve checked the BBC’s election website for updates and news on what was happening, and I’ve watched announcements by Gordon Brown and David Cameron on the day of change. And I enjoyed it! Dare I say, I even got a little misty-eyed when I watched the announcement of a “new politics” and the outline of the coalition with David Cameron and Nick Clegg standing side by side.

This was a fundamental shift in my attitudes and actions. So what happened?

1. I realised that I needed to re-evaluate my beliefs and attitudes towards politics.
2. I examined the fact that I do care about the place where I choose to make my home; that I believe in our right to have a voice and I didn’t want to take this for granted.
3. I was open to the possibility that politics could be interesting.
4. I realised that to be authentic, my old belief wasn’t serving me.
5. I embraced a curiosity about this change and what it could mean for me and the broader context.
6. And I chose to take action in the spirit of this change, despite being anxious or not always understanding or feeling frustrated as I tried to learn about the UK political system.

Change can be scary. Writing my first public blog post mentioning politics is scary! And whilst it may not all be smooth-sailing from hereon in, and my transition towards civic participation might feel challenging, I remain curious about the future and happy that I chose to re-evaluate my position.

I’m also curious about the future for this unique coalition, this “new politics”, the economic challenges ahead; and I’m excited about the possibilities – encouraged that 65% of the population (up from 50%) chose to take action and vote, encouraged that two opposing party leaders can talk as adults, UK citizens and humans!

Perhaps there is inspiration to be drawn from the most unlikely of situations; perhaps like David Cameron, Nick Clegg and I, you too may have difficult decisions to ponder.

What in your life could do with a sea change?

At the same time, we don’t often think about what being mentally healthy is like either, or what our mental health can actually mean for our daily lives. Join Paul and Sam for this podcast ‘experiment’ as they explore what their own personal definitions are – and give you the opportunity to discover yours.

We all experience life’s ups and downs, and go through periods of stress; so what if there was a personal checklist just for you that could help you cope with those experiences a bit better?

Let’s find out! Ideally, you’ll need to have 1-2 minutes where you can pause the podcast at the appropriate point and jot down a few ideas in response to a question. If that isn’t convenient, then do try to make time to find your own answers later on – as they’ll be much more meaningful for you and will hopefully give you a blueprint or some signposts to come back to and take action on.

We would love to hear whether you’ve found this experiment helpful or not, so please let us know! If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review, and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly.

“@KillerCassandra Do a podcast on patience, and do it now, not tomorrow and not next week and not next month. Did you do it yet?”

Patience seems to be something that everyone has an issue with at some time. Paul and Sam talk about some of the pit falls and things you can do to actively work on issues with patience.

For a little musical inspiration (courtesy of Guns N Roses): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEzuC5UoM8g

And for more info or to say hi to Damien, visit Your Natural Way.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

“Ok. here is something that I can use some help with. I’m a ‘fixer’ I like to help as much as possible. The problem is that my wife has cancer and this is something I can’t fix. I want to help but not sure what I can do other than being supportive (which to me isn’t enough). So can you advise a fix for a fixer?”

Sam and I (Paul) talked about the topic and both thought it through for a week before recording this podcast. It was quite different to our normal ones, but I hope you find it interesting.

———-

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Yet like all words, ‘curiosity’ is as open to individual interpretation as the rest of them. We have our own unique definitions for words, regardless of how commonplace or highbrow they are; and these meanings we imbue words with are influenced by the context we see them in, our personal experiences and memories, and particularly what we need or feel at the moment of hearing/reading them. For example, what comes to mind when you hear ‘I really need some money.’? Each of us will have a different reaction to the word and sentence, depending on things like:

• your childhood circumstances and the predominant beliefs you were taught – ‘money can’t buy you love’, ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’, ‘work hard and you’ll be paid well’, ‘money gives you choices’, ‘saving money for a rainy day’ etc.
• your current financial state, and how comfortable or stressed you are about your investments, bills and income.
• and the context you read the word in as well as the influence of the Media – For just $x, you get…You’ve just won… or You owe… Millions lost… etc.

It could mean ‘I’m desperately broke and can’t pay my bills’, or ‘I don’t have any cash and they don’t take plastic’, or ‘I can’t wait to buy that latest x’ or even ‘I really want to sponsor that child/animal/fundraiser’.

In this age of electronic communication, we’re all likely to have been party to misunderstandings related to emailed, blogged or even Twittered text – whether we were the one misunderstood, or the one who reacted to an unintended tone or connotation (which Emoticons can only begin to address). However, communicating face-to-face or verbally doesn’t ensure immunity either.

Spoken words are not susceptible for exactly the same reasons as text – where tone and body language are largely absent – but rather because the way your listener processes the words you say may not match the way you intended them.
Assumptions can be risky at the best of times, but how aware are you of the dangers in assuming someone assigns the same meaning to a word that you do?

Let’s play with this a little: (take a moment to consider) what does curiosity mean to you personally?

A Twitter friend, @deltalady, described it as a ‘renewal of your younger self to be more open to current experiences’ after establishing for herself that my @CuriosityCoach title wasn’t simply facetious!
I think of curiosity as being in a state of childlike wonder & awe, of asking lots of questions (usually avoiding starting with ‘Why?’, & most requiring me to let go of being right/having all the answers), of being willing to see the extraordinary in ordinary things, and ordinary in extraordinary ones, plus handfuls of other nuances – some of which I’m sure I’ve not even discovered yet!
The dictionary offers even further connotations including prying, meddlesome, and inexplicability!
And one person possibly interpreted it through his hormone-filters to be ‘I’m interested in getting to know you intimately!’ …which is one I’ll certainly need to be more aware of going forwards!

So, what does this mean for you?

Start by noticing the assumed meaning you give to words that you hear or read. After a while, you’ll find it easier to pick up on times when a word shared with someone has different definitions for you both… this can help you maximise your understanding of what you’re hearing, and minimise the scope for someone else’s interpretation of what you’ve said to remain unaddressed.

You may even find yourself getting curious about what particular words can mean to a range of different people!

Photo by garryknight

To say I’ve been busy lately would be a gross understatement. I’m not going to list out everything I’ve been juggling – at least half of which has been on strict deadlines – but I’m talking about things on the level of starting a new job, doing a major college assignment, planning a 3wk trip to the other side of the world… and I’ve had about 8-9 of these things on the go for a few months now.

What’s got me through day by day has been simply putting one foot in front of the other – taking that next little step that would get me a bit closer to whatever was needed (as well as a simple ‘project plan’ that allowed me to keep track of it all). Not everything has been given equal attention, and I wouldn’t be human if some things hadn’t slipped down the priority list; but what is more interesting is what I noticed today.

I’ve got 2 days left before I fly out, and am at the stage where I can start saying “What doesn’t get done before I get on that plane stays undone until I get back”. Today was a positive one, as I could actually tick off a couple of important milestones including one of the major projects – YAY!!! I finally allowed myself an hour’s grace to meet with a friend (multi-tasking to discuss kitty-sitting), and take a deep breath or two before the next step on the plan when I caught myself with the following shocking thought: “What am I missing? I must have something else urgent to add to my list because I can’t possibly be calm before I go away!”

Whoa! Where the hell did that come from?! It is like I’ve programmed myself to get to a point of exhaustion before I jump onto a long-haul flight; and the remote possibility that I might somehow have all urgent things completed before I leave for the airport seemed too difficult to fathom – so instead my mind went digging for other things to pile onto the pressure gauge.

At least I caught myself – this time. I can choose that I’ll only do what I’ve already planned to do, and anything else can wait. I don’t have to be a wreck physically, emotionally and mentally to be able to sleep on the plane. And I’ve really still got enough to do to keep me out of mischief until I leave anyway!

Would you notice if you were making things harder for yourself?

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

I’ve had sinus troubles again recently. Not an unfamiliar story. Luckily, I managed to minimise the infection this time through some timely use of nasal spray, ibuprofen and a lot of rest over the weekend despite having a list of priority things a mile long to do (including studying for an exam on the Monday).  So I got through the exam, and was back at work feeling a wee bit sorry for myself, but confident that I wasn’t posing any risk to my colleagues. I might not have been the sharpest tack in the building, but I was functioning.

However, there were times in the past when I perhaps didn’t rest; when I kept pushing myself through the things that needed doing and consequently spent weeks recovering from the serious infection that set in. Worse still, I remember instances in my corporate past when I went to work ‘sick as a dog’ with something contagious because of some urgent task or backlog of work that needed attention. So what is the right decision when all’s ill? Here are some questions to consider before you start sharing your germs around:

• How urgent are the tasks? (Is there anything that I can delegate, delay or drop?)
• If tasks are truly urgent, can I work from home?
• How much of a risk am I to myself? (Am I likely to make myself worse by going in to work? What are the consequences if I do end up bedridden?)
• How much of a risk am I to my colleagues? (Am I contagious? What is the impact to the workload and the team if I share this illness with them all?)
• How effective will I actually be when I am feeling this unwell? (How well can I concentrate? How is the quality of my work being affected?)

It might be a tough pill to swallow, but the world doesn’t stop revolving if we have a few days off ill. Sure – there are likely to be consequences, but it is worth pausing to more accurately weigh up the costs of going in to work vs giving yourself a day (or a few) to rest and recover more quickly.

What will you do when you’re next under the weather?

(And if you do decide to venture in to work when next ill, ask yourself how you feel at the end of that day – and if the answer is “worse” then what might your body be trying to tell you? A new day, a new choice!)

What does abundance mean, and what difference could it make to our lives? Paul and Sam are joined by two guests – lovely ladies Annmarie and Nancy, facilitators of the 55 Concepts – as they discuss their personal experiences of what abundance means, and how to tell if we are living in a state of abundance or in a state of lack.

Join us to explore what you can do to start increasing your awareness of which state you are choosing, and what you can do to experience more abundance in your life. It is time to get curious, be present, and try a sprinkling of gratitude to see how different life can look!

* Apologies in advance for the abundance of traffic noise adding to the discussion a few minutes into this podcast!

For more information on the 55 Concepts, or to get in touch with  Nancy Baker and Annmarie Serratore, visit www.55concepts.com (free newsletter, audio and classes available).

As this is a special edition guest podcast, and is slightly longer than our normal discussions, here’s a summary of the key action ideas:

• Journal your gratitude daily
• Get support – sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us
• ‘We chase what we believe we do not have’ – look at what you’re chasing and what beliefs you have about why you don’t have it
• Be present to the abundance in your life (notice and acknowledge)
• Consider what bothers you in others as a signpost for what you need to change in yourself to experience abundance

If we think of each year of our lives as a chapter, and look back at the last couple, there’s probably an underlying theme or sense of what that year meant to us in the overall scheme of our lives. For the last couple of years, I’ve set conscious intentions for my chapters and they’ve worked for me in a way that resolutions never really have.

2008 was a year of intention to find out what kind of lifestyle I wanted and where I wanted to live, as well as to reconnect with nature.

2009 was a year of intention to both allow myself to ‘put down roots’ (create stability) and also to utilise the many resources I had on hand (rather than trying to acquire new ones).

These intentions once set, influenced my available options, my decisions and my attitudes for the year that followed in both subtle and deeply meaningful ways. I could not have imagined half the things that have occurred in those two years, yet I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. There is something magical in choosing a theme for the year, and claiming it as your own – yet at the same time relaxing with it, and trusting that it will manifest when it is ready.

I can’t say that I didn’t occasionally try to force these themes, or to become impatient with the apparent lack of speed of their solutions. However, I was able to remind myself that they were always sitting in the background and percolating in my mind, and that it was the journey of the year that I’d remember rather than a single moment.

How did I come to decide upon these intentions? I guess it was a combination of honestly appraising my life, noticing the things that seemed to pop up repeatedly calling for my attention, and then deciding which was the highest priority. That might sound a bit complicated, but it was very much driven by intuition or gut instinct, and once the decision was made – it felt like the obvious choice.

My intentionality for 2010 is to surrender up to God, the Universe, Spirit – or GUS as a good friend calls it! – everything that I am struggling with or trying to control; everything that seems petty, or that feels so much bigger than me. To take action with the belief that what is meant to be will be, that I have everything I need right now, and that faith and intuition will lead me to synchronicity.

I may need some help with this! Gentle reminders appreciated!

And I’d love to hear about your intentions for the 2010 you want to have.

1. What is the one sore spot you’ve been struggling with for a while?
2. What lesson seems to keep popping back up, whose message you’ve not quite heeded yet?
3. What one thing, if it was achieved, would make 2010 shine for you when you are looking back on it?

Happy New Year to all our listeners – I, and each of the ActionPodcast coaches, look forward to sharing 2010 with you!

We would love to celebrate our special birthday with a few of your comments and reviews via the iTunes store.

Please take a few minutes to log in to iTunes and register your customer rating and a customer review.

Action Podcast on iTunes

Thanks you so much in advance – we look forward to reading your reviews soon!

Paul, Sam, Gina and Chris
The Action Podcast Team

This week, technology was on best-behaviour. But neither Sam nor Paul could remember the topic they’d been planning to podcast about! What happens when you just can’t remember…?!

Paul: So Sam, do you have any ideas for a topic tonight?

Sam: Um, didn’t we have one last week that we discussed and got really excited about?

Paul: Oh, yeah! We did speak about something… but I can’t remember what it was. I’ll check my notes…

Sam: Hmm. I can’t remember either – I just know it was going to be a good one! Maybe I sent you an email about it…?

Both: Nope – absolutely nothing written down or sent. Can’t remember! Oh well, let’s just have a chat anyway.

Paul: So how was your week?

Sam: It’s been good…<detailed update about a couple of key events/issues>. It’s strange, but when you let things go it creates space for the universe to provide solutions and opportunities.

Paul: That’s so true…<detailed description of similar experiences>. One of my meditation books suggests asking the universe for something, without harm to others.

Sam: I really like that. It reminds me of the ‘be careful what you wish for’ idea. I wouldn’t want to get what I’m asking for at a cost to someone else. I like to pray with gratitude, and to trust that everything happens for a reason. If it’s meant to be it will be.

Both: <more discussion on metaphysical topics>.

Paul: Yeah, it takes you out of the victim mode; helps you realise you have choices/options…

Sam: That was it!! Our topic! We’ve come full circle – and after surrendering our lost topic idea, it has returned to us 30mins later! How amazing is that?!

Stay tuned for the rediscovered topic when Paul & Sam get recording next…

Failure almost seems to be another F-word! We’re unlikely to think happy or positive thoughts when we hear it.

A fear of failure can stop us in our tracks, no matter how much we want to do something; and if we’ve already reached a point of failure it can be easy to wish the whole thing never happened. As Paul jokes, sometimes we just want to sweep it under the rug, hoping others haven’t noticed – even trying to convince ourselves that it didn’t occur.

Yet failure can be one of the best teachers if we let it and start thinking about our mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than just a point of pain. Join us in exploring the fabulous art of failure!

Paul and Sam discuss some tools and techniques to not only help you capture these lost ideas, but to solve some of the challenges of how to take action on them, letting them ‘percolate’, whether the timing is right, and how to start uncovering some creative solutions. Likewise, there are those ideas that we keep avoiding or things that really need to be done that seem to get harder and heavier the longer we resist taking action on them!

**ACTION!** Join the discussion by sharing the idea(s) that just won’t let go of you, and let’s see whether we can all find those first steps that will mean half the effort of achieving them is already done!

Revisiting a technique mentioned in one of our most popular podcasts How to Calm a Racing Mind, Stream of Consciousness (via writing, mind-mapping, drawing, voice recording or other method) can be just as helpful in taking action on these great ideas as it can be for coping with insomnia and many other areas!

Some ‘tools’ may require an investment up front, but having the right ones could save you a lot of time, hassle and money, giving you a better quality result with greater efficiency, and may even be the difference between you loving and hating what you are doing.

Paul and Sam discuss some of their DIY learnings, and explore other areas that this insight can be applied to – from serious tasks to fun ones! Afterall, would you try writing an essay with a lipstick?

If you are the owner of a small business that has grown over a few years to something greater, and would like to understand more about how the Right Tools and related concepts could ensure your business continues to grow effectively, and allow you to love what you created once more, then please contact Sam for more information.

Paul and Sam talk about how they are building awareness of their finances to help them keep them in the black and out of the red!

Following on from their previous podcast, Reality Check, they discuss how even a little bit of measuring can make a world of difference when it comes to understanding where your money really does go – and once that awareness is there making informed decisions becomes so much easier.

Paul and Sam talk about our perception of time, its impacts, and how to keep a reality check on the things you need or want to do. With loads of tips and tricks on how to keep track and make your life that little bit more organised – or at least measurably more realistic!

For more information on The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and the process of Morning Pages (one of its pivotal Basic Tools), visit The Artist’s Way site where you can even download a PDF chapter of the book that details why Morning Pages are so powerful!

Also available from Amazon
Artist’s Way, 10th anniversary edition

It could be that point in the rollercoaster ride where we are faced with a journey that looks entirely up-hill.

Are you really being lazy? Could it be that you are just progressing towards your goal REALLY slowly? Have you overlooked what you’ve actually completed? Or even worse, are you actually moving in the opposite direction (away from what you want)?

Join Paul & Sam as they explore how to tell which direction you’re facing, whether you’re moving or not, and some ways that you can start to measure & track your progress so that you are always clear on the action that is needed.

Sometimes in life, you get shat upon. Sometimes, there’s no avoiding it or the messy clean-up job that follows.

As a teen, I owned a shirt that said:

“I’m always in the shit –
Only the depth varies!”

It can be a great metaphor for what life ‘throws’ at you. Still: there are times when you half expect it, and other moments where the timing could not be any worse.

A few weeks ago – I was shat on, quite literally.

I was at a party, which was the first major opportunity for me to meet some new people locally, and I was quite excited that there were fellow motorbike-riders and vegetarians present! It was outdoors, since the Scots are quick to make the most of any fair weather, and there was both a big BBQ and a smaller ‘veggie’ one heating up.
I spent most of the night clustered around one or other of the BBQs trying to stay warm, and was by the smaller of the two when a bird flying above let it’s bowel contents go…right on the crown of my head.
I was of course blissfully ignorant of the risk – right up until the point of impact; and disbelief (“this couldn’t happen to me right now!”) warred with shock only long enough for me to jump up & rush inside, but not before the news had started circulating through the 30-something gathered.

I wish I could say it was the 1st time*, & I can’t say with any certainty that it will be the last. But what are the odds of being shat on by a bird flying (not sitting – but flying!) overhead, twice in your life?

It is said to be lucky. And someone joked about rushing out to buy a lottery ticket. But as I was upstairs in the bathroom having the front half of my hair washed in a tiny sink by a very caring but equally inebriated woman, I commented that this must be said simply to help make the dirtied one feel better!

However, apart from a bit of embarrassment that it happened in front of such a crowd, I was quite bemused by the whole episode and making jokes about people having a unique reason to remember me! It would have been really easy to get totally upset about it, to cry, and to feel too embarrassed to return to the party. But I was determined to make the most of the evening that I had been enjoying until rudely interrupted, and wasn’t going to let a bit of bird-luck get in my way. The woman helping me wash my hair remarked that I seemed so calm about the whole thing, and asked what I did. She laughed when I told her I was a lifecoach, and said that quite explained it!

Joking aside – what I did in that moment – was to notice that I had a choice. I couldn’t choose to undo the fact that I had been shat upon, but I could choose to have a miserable end to my evening, or a wonderful one. This is not a choice that is solely available to coaches, nor is it about ‘positive thinking’. At no point did I feel like thanking the bird that inadvertently caused this. I didn’t even buy into the ‘it’s lucky’ idea. I simply chose my reaction to a situation I couldn’t have avoided.

It would also have been easy to get really angry with the bird, or with a party being held outside on a cold evening, or the injustice in the world! And there is a great piece of wisdom in one of the 55 Concepts that I’ve mentioned before:

“People [birds, life] don’t do things TO you;
They do them FOR themselves.”

The bird didn’t choose to deliberately dump its waste on my head. The bird simply needed to relieve itself, and I was perhaps in the wrong place at the wrong time.

What choice will you make, when life next dumps you in an unpleasant mess?

P.S. (*The 1st time – about 5yrs ago in London, I did let it did spoil my day!)

In this show Sam and Paul go though some of the pros and the cons of giving advice and when not to. It can be confusing knowing when to give or receive advice, so giving people the heads up before you start can make the whole conversation take on a different slant. We also cover how to deal with unwelcome advice without burning your bridges and upsetting people, which can all too easily happen as you’ll hear!

We chatted for a bit, then he asked me the ‘big question’ – “Are you still playing?” I admitted, yes – that I was but that I was more aware of when I chose to play these days. He has been cold-turkey for quite a while now, so he sent me a link, and mentioned that it may inspire me to write a blog post. The site is www.wowdetox.com, and whilst I realised it was a link aimed to help people overcome their WoW addiction, I didn’t really expect it to have a lot of immediate relevance to me.

Paul and I have mentioned WoW on podcasts and blog posts from time to time – which is why I felt this dedicated post was appropriate. And for the record, I’d like to state that whilst I talk openly about my own gaming experience, in NO circumstances would I recommend WoW to anyone. In fact, I’d say ‘avoid it if you want to have any life’.

To give a bit of history, I’ve been playing WoW since it first came out ~ Feb/Mar 2005. Sure, I’ve had a few blocks of between 1-6 months of quitting it, but at its peak – I was playing >8hrs per day… this was on top of working 8-9hrs in my day-job, and commuting another 1-2hrs a day as well. You can imagine, that didn’t leave a lot of time for sleeping, socialising or anything much else! I jokingly referred to it as my 2nd fulltime role. After all, I was a high ranking ‘officer’ in a successful guild (invite-only community) – and my sense of obligation and duty to lead by example was a stunning display of commitment. I even used to boast about the fact that I had been in every raid organised by our guild minus only a couple, and only my dear friend Mem had a better attendance record than me!

With hindsight, I felt totally unfulfilled in my corporate role, and incredibly under-appreciated. WoW, and more so the community I felt I belonged to, fed my need for achievement and appreciation. It was only a very personal falling-out with the leader of the guild (another friend) that drew me out of that ever-worsening cycle. I took a 6 month break.

Still, I returned. And still I do.

Today, spending only a few minutes reading a couple of posts by fellow WoW-addicts on the Detox site, and watching the short video on there had me in tears.

I confess, I am a WoW addict. I may play a lot less hours per week now, and I’ve avoided getting caught up in any organised raiding anymore. But there is a pull that brings me ever back.

After 4+ years, I’ve developed some strong and wonderful relationships with people I’ve met through WoW. A lot have left the game & moved on; many, like myself, have had time-out but ultimately returned. The creators of the game did what real life has failed to do for many of us. They have created an environment wherein for the most part, you can put in time & effort, and you are guaranteed a reward or result.

Leaving University, I was totally disparaged in my first year of ‘the real world’ – because I learnt the hard way that in ‘Corporate’, the time & effort you put in very rarely equate to the reward and recognition you receive. Having been very academically gifted (where applied studiousness guarantees high results), that was an unpleasant shock!

But WoW delivers in this way that real-life largely fails to. And they charge us for this ‘pleasure’!

There are a myriad other reasons why WoW has been so popularly successful across the world – social sense of belonging, being judged by a face you choose to show (avatar) rather than the one you were born with, a fresh start where people don’t know your background or mistakes, not wanting to miss out on something new or fun, and I could go on. And to be fair, there is a lot about the game itself that I actually do enjoy!

The cost, however, is much MUCH higher than the monthly subscription fee I’ve been paying for over 4 years now and the initial game purchase price.

I always knew it was a form of escapism for me, and thought this was ok because my life after all was quite stressful! But today, I was reminded that WoW is a serious addiction for many people – and in some cases, a life-destroying one.

The Detox video asks you to consider if you are ready to cut back your game-time, or quit. And it reminds you that it is ok if you aren’t ready for that yet. The most important message they deliver is simply awareness.

I am not ready yet.

I really value the friendships I’ve built with certain people over time; and I know that the important ones will persist post-game if they’re meant to. But until I can replace WoW’s achievement-fulfilling ability with my own internal structure of reward and recognition – I’m still going to be drawn back. Even as a Coach, I’ve long recognised that I tend to miss out on the acknowledging of my progress and celebrating it (ideally with occasional rewards). This is something I easily help my clients with though and I see the amazing impact it has – so I’m having to be more conscious in applying it to my own life! It’s not just high-achievers who often overlook this.

So. Action: I’m going to talk to some of my gaming friends, and explain to them that if they need me for something, they can send me a text. If I’m available, I’ll log on. This way, I’ll start addressing the false sense of obligation I have to log in and play – ‘just in case one of them needs my help’.

And perhaps there’s a podcast in the wings here, where Paul and I can explore the nature of addiction and the importance of awareness – and choice.

Not all addictions are as debilitating as alcohol or as sinister as drugs. Food, sex, smoking, crises, WoW – whatever it is… the first step on the path to freedom is acknowledging your addiction (being honest with yourself), and to start noticing that is not serving you as well as you’d thought – and is likely doing you great disservice.

I don’t want to simply quit WoW, and end up replacing it with another addiction because I didn’t address the underlying cause.

Wow! (Pun intended) I didn’t realise how hard it would be to write this, or publish it.
I hope it helps someone as much as it’s helped me. I’d love you to share your comment if it has.

Think of someone you really admire, and which character traits of their’s shine through.
Sometimes it is much easier to believe something unpleasant about ourselves, than to acknowledge and accept that those traits we really admire in another person are part of us too.

When we think of each relationship as a mirror for ourselves, there is a lot of worthiness there to love – if/when we accept it. (Likewise, when someone is really annoying us – chances are we are doing that ‘annoying thing’ in some way too!)

Join Sam and Paul as they explore the piece of poetry that inspired both this discussion and a Full Out and Fearless blog post by @CoachCharrise on 22nd April 2009; and discover a quick and simple way to start reflecting the love to yourself that you deserve – no matter how scary that may sound!

Seek that which you love in me
And find it in yourself,
For I am but a mirror for all
Your magic inner wealth.

See me shine and light the way
And choose to do so too,
For shared just like the Olympic torch
You too can burn so true.

Feel me stretch and challenge my bounds
And find your wings to fly,
For deep within your caterpillar heart
You are a glorious butterfly.

Sense my presence and be inspired
And acknowledge your own gifts,
For we each are divine and worthy
Your soul my heart uplifts.

Written by Sam Forsberg, 15th February 2008, For Cameron

Ignorance is not bliss. In fact, it tends to make life hell.
As we learn, we are likely to move through 4 stages of competence – rarely jumping from Unconscious Incompetence (ignorance!) directly to Unconscious Competence (mastery!). Along the way, we pass through Conscious Incompetence (aware but struggling), and hopefully into Conscious Competence (aware and succeeding).

Join Paul and Sam as they explore how their actions (no matter how imperfect/perfect, small/large) move them through the challenge of overwhelm and unresourcefulness, and into more aware states of learning, choice and empowerment; where things aren’t all rosy but are a darn sight less ugly!

Tell us why you love this podcast by leaving a comment below (before 15th May), and you’ll automatically be entered into our milestone 5,000th motivational download celebration draw! Click here for more details, or simply add your comment below NOW!

“I’m not being listened to! They aren’t hearing me! Why am I so misunderstood?”

Having to constantly repeat ourselves is not the only option! Join Chris and Sam as they explore the differences between hearing and listening, how it affects our communication when we feel like we aren’t being listened to, and what we can start doing to improve the effectiveness of our speaking and listening straight away.

We all have days and/or moments where we:

• don’t feel confident enough
• feel too fat/boring/unattractive
• don’t have the energy for it
• have committed to something but don’t really want to do it

Sometimes we can ‘force’ ourselves into action, and at other times we give in to the resistance and indulge our desire to avoid whatever it is. It can be far more fun and easy though, to simply ask ourselves a question that encourages immediate action regardless of how we feel – and then lets our emotions and attitudes catch up to our new perspective!

Click here to find out more about Wyn and his Wynning Ways!

Sometimes it feels like we’re swinging from one extreme to the other – one moment careening towards a crash, and a moment later, struggling up the mountain without a clear view of when (or if) we’ll reach the top.

Life can feel like a rollercoaster ride of heady peaks and stomach-churning troughs, and whilst we would all be terribly bored if it was just a flat track to the horizon… wouldn’t it be great if we could learn to balance out those pendulum-swings just a little? Even-it-up a bit so that it flowed more smoothly, and we could actually start to enjoy the ride?

Sam joins Paul on his train-journey of discovery into how we can keep the momentum and motivation flowing when we need it most!

We’ve just had our 5,000th motivational podcast download and are celebrating by giving away 4 free telephone coaching sessions. All you have to do is post a comment on our site (Comment on this post!) before 15 May and you may be the lucky winner. Click here for more details and leave a comment to win. Take that action now!

Do you bottle them up? Do you cry them out?
If you’ve ever felt blindsided by strong emotions that you couldn’t express, then there is a good chance they have been lurking in the shadows waiting for the opportunity to jump out when your guard is down.

Paul and Sam talk about how their own frustrations reached boiling points recently, and that in the process of trying to understand what they were feeling, they discovered what was hidden in the causal blind-spots that then allowed them to acknowledge and release their pent-up emotions!

We’ve just had our 5,000th motivational podcast download and are celebrating by giving away 4 free telephone coaching sessions. All you have to do is post a comment on our site (Comment on this post!) before 15 May and you may be the lucky winner. Click here for more details and leave a comment to win. Take that action now!

We are very excited to announce that today, Friday 17 April 2009, Action Podcast enjoyed its 5000th download!

To celebrate, we are offering our listeners a fantastic, motivational offer –  4 FREE telephone coaching sessions with an Action Podcast Coach of your choice!

To make sure you are in with a chance of winning, simply post a comment in the box below, or post an iTunes review, telling us what you most enjoy about actionpodcast.com. On 15 May 2009, we will randomly select one entrant as our 5000th download winner.

So don’t delay! Here’s your chance to get help in turning your life around.
Post a comment below now, or submit a review on iTunes

TERMS AND CONDITIONS
The 4 free coaching sessions will last 45 minutes and must be taken between Monday 20 April and Wednesday 30 September 2009. They will be by phone (if you live in the UK) or by Skype. Due to the global nature of this offer, there are certain restrictions to the time of day that these sessions will be available. The winner will have 7 days to accept their prize or it will be re-drawn and awarded to another listener.

Post your comment now – and make 2009 a year to remember. Good luck!

Whilst the perfectionist or overachiever in us cringes at the thought of requesting assistance and sharing the load, our controlling aspects can feel desperate and frustrated, and this seems to add to our stress and uncertainty.

Yet receiving help can be both a miracle and a gift – helping us to make progress and overcome challenges, whilst empowering the giver-of-help with a sense of achievement and purpose. They say two heads are better than one, so Gina & Sam put theirs’ together to explore just why asking for help is so hard, and how we can take small steps towards fruitful collaboration.

It’s not just leaving my 20′s that causes me to ask: So what does age really mean/matter? Is there any significance in the quantity of our birthdays other than to mark the passing of time?

I’m totally tickled to be celebrating 30 today! Some of the defining thoughts that shape my views on age are:
- the older you get, the quicker time flies.
- each year, your definition of ‘old’ increases!
- what is ‘middle-aged’, and when are we *meant* to have our mid-life-crises??
- the older you get, the less an age-gap matters in a relationship.
- my Dad always says ‘you’re only as old as the person you feel’
- age-based goals are often just an excuse to put off taking action right now.
- these days, age doesn’t necessarily mean greater wisdom nor even broader life experience.
- age discrimination somehow occurs both when you are ‘too young’ and ‘too old’ (so leave your DOB off your CV!)

We live in a world where the rate of change is so extreme, that 7 years is now a long time to stay in one career/role – let alone the same job; where technologically obsolete can be a matter of months or years, rather than decades; and our communication is (paradoxically) isolatingly instantaneous!

Our needs and wants change constantly, and our dreams and goals are either upgraded before they’ve even been celebrated, or are lost in the flux of time.

Yet – it is not like we are privy to the sand remaining in the hourglasses of our lives. What impact does it have, knowing that any of us could die this minute, yet many could feasibly live another 30, 50 or even 70 years more? We could ask: Is that motivating? Does it affect our impetus? But I’ll ask: WHY WAIT?
It is a sad reality in which it takes a major crisis to bring each individual truly to life.
That said, I’m thankful mine happened when I was still really ‘young’; but it is scary the number of times I’ve had people say ‘I wish I knew what I know now at your age’. What I’ve decided though, is that it is more about what you DO with what you know, than just how much you’ve learnt.

A few years ago I heard the phrase ‘Dead at 30, buried at 60′ and it really struck me. How many of us go through our daily lives without really living, but simply counting the passing of time?

I feel younger now, than I have ever done. The last couple of years have seen me rediscover the childlike senses of awe, curiosity and fun that were missing for most of my ‘childhood’. As an adult I’ve been blessed to look younger than I am. I’m considered an ‘old soul’ who has always been wise beyond my years (even if I didn’t always behave like it!). And my friends range in ages that fit most varying definitions of ‘young’ and ‘old’.
So I’ve always felt that age was a very subjective perception.

Sometimes I think that the only age that matters is the one on the bottle of wine I’m enjoying – and even then, that isn’t a certainty!

Sam and Paul talk about their definitions of love, and different ways in which you can tell the special people in your life how much you care for and appreciate them!

Borders Bookstore in Charing Cross Road London once ran a writing competition – accepting entries in any format on the theme of ‘Elsewhere’. Since poetry is one of my preferred creative outlets, I decided to have a bit of fun with it, which resulted (fairly quickly & tongue-in-cheek) in:

Elsewhere
Elsewhere, is wherever
My mind chooses to be –
In a place, in a thought
Or caught up in a dream.
Elsewhere, is everywhere
And nowhere at once –
All around us, inside us,
Of us, or simply not.
Elsewhere, is anything
Limited only by fear –
It can be wonderful, magical,
Or scary and unseen.
Elsewhere, is nothing
Except where we are not –
It’s not here, so is it there?
But when we look, it is not.

SJSF, 19/5/02

Part of life’s plethora of paradox is that when we are wishing we are elsewhere, we are not really ‘present’ where we are… and when we journey to elsewhere, we end up right where we actually are.
What are you missing, when your focus is elsewhere? What could you notice about right here and now, that would change your view, your perspectives and your horizon?

Paul and Sam talk about how this helps them look at things from a new perspective, sharing tips and tricks on how you can bring this resourcefulness into your daily life.

Are you a reader – experiencing your stories day after day, stumbling your way to the conclusion? Or are you the author – deciding how your stories flow and end, even when you can’t control their start?

Paul & Sam share deeply personal stories of their own, as they explore how story influences our lives and how we can rewrite our stories in spite of what happens to, or around, us.