Being consciously aware of what we’ve achieved is great for our general sense of well-being and contribution, and it can also significantly boost our confidence. But in the busyness of life, it can be easy to forget, overlook or play down the extent of what we’ve achieved – and by choosing to be accountable to someone (or some thing), we give ourselves key moments to reflect on our productivity and achievement, and whether our system of prioritising is working well for us.

Join Paul and Sam as they explore some different options for adding a helpful dose of accountability into your day, and even what some of the unexpected benefits might be!

I’ve been struggling with the discovery that one of our beloved cats, Patsy, has developed a cancerous growth on her leg. We had been told that it wasn’t the type of tumor that spreads. So the prognosis was that removal of the growth would be relatively easy.

We checked Patsy into the animal hospital early January to undergo surgery that cost more than £2000, and as far as we are concerned, worth every penny. During the operation the surgeon discovered a further two “nodules”, which he also removed and sent off for analysis.

It’s now two weeks since Patsy had her operation and her recovery has been amazing. She’s back to her old bouncy self. However one of the nodules tested positive for cancerous cells – just when we thought everything was going so well. We are now left not knowing if all the tumours have been removed or if they have spread to other places in her body. So we have no idea if Patsy will be with us in 4-6 months time, or live for another 8-9 years.

Coming to terms with not knowing can be a struggle, even at the best of times. When it’s something like this it’s even harder. You don’t know whether to grieve or celebrate and nothing seems to help. We’ve realised that no matter how long the uncertainty lasts, the main priority is for us to enjoy spending time with and loving Patsy – however long she’s got. Whether it’s a few months or a few years, we are now committed to cherishing every moment with her.

No matter if your struggle is with a pet, a loved one, a job or any situation where coming to terms with “making the most of it” is tough. We all deal with things differently. But allowing yourself to go through some sort of grieving process is incredibly healing.

Talking about the situation with friends and family is absolutely key. Getting plenty of rest is also vital, as it’s astounding how draining this kind of emotional turmoil can be! Don’t be afraid to cry, with others or even on your own. Tears are an excellent way to release pent up emotions. Finally making a vow to “do the best you can” is always a good mindset.

Gina and Paul talk about overcoming hurdles to achieve things that were out of their own comfort zones. With the support of others and a little practice, it’s amazing how much you can achieve. The impossible becomes reality.

Finding the freedom to do what you want is always a challenge. Your inner voice does its best to try and put you off doing anything new. By externalising your fears, either by talking about them to others, or even by sending a simple text message as we mentioned in the show, you can turn down that voice to a quiet whisper and allow yourself to focus on just doing what you first thought would never be possible.

So, instead of purgatory, why not go for what you LOVE instead? Paul and Gina discuss the fine art of creation… and the 3 fundamental aspects of creativity: germination, assimilation and creation.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY CREATING WHAT YOU LOVE

So the end of 2011 is almost here, many people may be tempted to make some New Years Resolutions, but we all know how well they work, don’t we? But it still a great time to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. So how about making the decision to start the new year with some new healthy habits of success instead?

Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people is a great place to start for some good examples. Wiki-pedia has a great summary of them, which will save you a lot of reading! Here is a quick run through to get you going:-

The 7 Habits

• Habit 1: Be Proactive, Synopsis: Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions. Take responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow.
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind, Synopsis: Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals.
• Habit 3: Put First Things First, Synopsis: Plan, prioritize, and execute your week’s tasks based on importance rather than urgency.
• Habit 4: Think Win-Win, Synopsis: Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships.
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, Synopsis: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you.
• Habit 6: Synergies, Synopsis: Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw, Synopsis: Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle.

So now I’ve saved you several hours of reading, you have all the information you need to start making some changes ready for 2012. Now it just leaves me to say, I hope you have a wonderful New Year and that 2012 is the year all your dreams come true. Remember ActionPodcast would love to help you achieve those dreams so just let us know if there is anything we can do to help!

Cheers!

We talk about the comments we received from our listeners always make our day, so when we get them we really are delighted.

Also what podcast topics or blog posts have made us as ActionPodcast coaches sit up and really take on board what some one the others have said. Even though we talk about personal development all the time, and coach clients, we still find there are things we can learn from the other coaches.

Looking forward to the year ahead we reveal what we wish for in 2012.

*NEW* We now have a free App in the Android Market Place and the Apple App Store. The app lets you listen to podcasts directly without having to download them on to your PC or Mac first. You can get access to all the latest podcasts, the top ten, recent articles, all our twitter feeds and a lot more! Just go to the App Store on your phone or tablet and search for “ActionPodcast” all one word. Or just click the buttons below.

ActionPodcast App now available from:

With just one week to go the festive period is already in full swing. Now is your change to blow everything that you’ve worked so hard for over the last year……..

Well of course that’s what everyone is saying to each other to justify the over eating, drinking, late nights and everything that comes with the holiday.

Now at ActionPodcast, we certainly don’t want you to think we are total kill-joys, but it would be great if you recognised that you do have a choice.

During this podcast Paul and Chris give some amazing tips that make it really easy to have a fantastic Christmas, without the repercussions.

*NEW* We now have a free App in the Android Market Place and the Apple App Store. The app lets you listen to podcasts directly without having to download them on to your PC or Mac first. You can get access to all the latest podcasts, the top ten, recent articles, all our twitter feeds and a lot more! Just go to the App Store on your phone or tablet and search for “ActionPodcast” all one word. Or just click the buttons below.

ActionPodcast App now available from:

This podcast helps you beat the burnout with 5 top tips.

The run-up to Christmas is an especially fraught time – especially for many female executives who are also juggling a family, parents and husbands/partners! Paul and Gina discuss simple ways you can take stock of your work and home life, and take immediate action to avoid meltdown in the pre- and post-holiday period.

The most obvious symptom of burnout is often exhaustion—a fatigue you just can’t kick, even by taking a few days off. But there’s more to it than just being tired. You may even experience a loss of enthusiasm that often results in your doing the bare minimum, as well as a loss of faith in your abilities.  You may be short-tempered and even overreact to minor things. No matter what you do, you can’t get all of it done well. You could actually start making more mistakes than usual or begin allow things to fall through the cracks.

Listen to this podcast for some great instant tips to help you beat burnout!

Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or topic suggestions.

I celebrate my own style of Thanksgiving every Monday morning. That can be pretty hard some Mondays I can tell you! But I have to admit, once I get into the swing of things it’s actually pretty easy an very rewarding.

So what is Thanksgiving Monday? Well as part of my Morning Pages, I have a segment at the start that I do just on Monday mornings. I write a short paragraph of things that I’ve truly grateful for. It varies each time, sometimes it’s something basic like my health, other times it can be something much come complex and personal. I’ve ben doing this for several weeks now since I read about it in a book I’ve been reading called :59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman. It’s a technique he recommends to increase happiness in your life. I must admit I was a little doubtful at first but following his guide I thought I’ll give it a go. He recommends similar things on the other days of the week, but the Monday Thanksgiving has been the most powerful for me.

It’s been so many different things to experience writing down what I’m thankful for, it’s actually quite hard to put into words. But I can safely say that it’s one of the most inspiring and uplifting things I’ve done in a very long time.

So if you are celebrating tomorrow I hope you have a truly wonderful time, but come next week when the party has all too soon become a hazy distant memory, start your own weekly thanksgiving ritual.

Do you find yourself taking care of a lot of fairly small, quite inconsequential things when there is a really big issue that trying to get your attention?

A difficult conversation, situation or an old issue that knocks your confidence?

We all do it at times and in this podcast, Chris and Paul discuss WHY this happens and more importantly, what you can DO to face the ‘elephant in your room’ with greater ease, confident and success than you’re currently imagining.

We’d love to hear your experiene on how you’ve been able to overcome those big challenging situations so please leave a comment on this page.

Wiki Entry:-

“Elephant in the room” is an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.^[1]

Learning to recognise your successes so far can really help change your perspective on your current situation. By acknowledging the good things that you have achieved recently will make a dramatic difference because moving forward from a great place is far easier than trying to escape a negative rut that you may believe you are in.

What’s harder is seeing the obstacles that lie within us.

In this podcast, Chris and Paul discuss one of the things we do that can delay our progress and ultimately, our success. We’re all guilty at times and this podcast can help you see it – and eliminate it – quickly, so you can experience the success you deserve, sooner than you would otherwise.

In this podcast Paul and Chris discuss their simple strategies for maximising the use of their time, with emphasis on the process of planning. If you are looking to improve your effectiveness, get more done or simply live less stressful days, one of these tips might just be the breakthrough you are seeking.

Let us know which tip you’d like to try and any questions you’d like us to answer by leaving a comment below.

At the beginning you feel like you’ve thought everything through and you’re really motivated to get going. Everything seems to be going great! Your plans have paid off and your journey towards your goal couldn’t seem easier.

So… why do you begin to slip?

Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity.

You find yourself missing the odd gym session, and not being quite as organised. Whatever it is, you can feel yourself slipping back into your old ways. Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity and before you know it, weeks have passed since you did anything you initially planned so hard for.

Often you can come up with a whole host of reasons why things faded away. But it always boils down to one thing:

Being accountable for your own actions gets harder

More important than what happens, is how and why it happens. There can be a whole host of reasons:

• You don’t feel you are progressing fast enough, so things get boring
• You find the going gets tough and other things seem to keep getting in the way, so you start to let them
• You aren’t sure you even want this goal anymore. You find it hard to remember why you thought this was a good idea!

I’m sure you can think of lots of other reasons, but the great news is that the solution is always the same.

GET ACCOUNTABLE!

If any of the above sounds familiar to you, then now is the moment to change it. Get someone else to hold you accountable to your own goals. Share with them your reasons for wanting them in the first place. Other people seem to have an amazing memory for repeating your own words back at you! If you feel things start to get tough, tell someone, ask for help, advise, tips, tricks, anything to help you get over your current hurdle. Finally, give them permission to check in on you once in a while to see how things are going.

You can even ask me to personally help you with this. Just drop me an email with what it is you are trying to achieve. I’ll help you keep that motivation bubbling along. An even more effective method, is for you to post your goal, plan and any expected hurdles here in the comments below, or on our Facebook page.

So there you have it, Email / Comment  or Facebook. Choose whichever one feels it will be the most effective for you. Let us, help you.

Recently Paul challenged Chris and Sam to record a 1 minute video each day. As this wasn’t something we do frequently, it was a great way for us to test the waters and see what resistance our inner voice can come up with (Note from Paul: “sometimes I like to think of it as my inner ‘jerk’!”).

It’s truly amazing how resistant you can become to trying something new, and yet once you actually get into the swing of it, you begin to wonder why as it seems so simple and natural.

During this podcast Paul and Chris talk about some of the ways you can challenge yourself, and if you listen right to the very end, you can also challenge the presenters themselves!

Whether it be a relationship that’s no longer working, or a job that you want to leave, now is a very natural time of year to let go.

During this podcast Gina and Paul discuss the two phases of letting go. Firstly, identifying situations where it’s appropriate to let go. Secondly managing the results of implementing the change and gaining support through what can be a very difficult time.

So far it’s pretty quiet in there, but what I have found are a few people taking the most amazing pictures of the city I live in, London. I kept seeing them and being blown away by the powerful images of the most ordinary things. Just seeing how the view of a lamp, rooftop, or looking up at a skyscraper seemed to hold a new beauty.

I see many of the things that people are photographing, almost every day. But there was something about these pictures that inspired me. So I started taking my own photos. If I found myself spotting something that made me notice it, I would stop, think about what it was that I was drawn to and then try to capture that essence. I wasn’t trying to take a snapshot, I wanted to point out the one thing that drew me in. Often this would actually be the clouds behind the scene I was looking at. There is something very unique about the clouds in the UK. So you’ll see in many of my pictures that clouds feature prominently.

What I found the most interesting was when I found something that really moved me, it would more often than not, move others. It was like I had suddenly tapped into a new connection, not only with myself, but the others around me.

One comment that really interested me was “I wish I could take pictures like that!” to which I replied, “You can! Just take lots of pictures of things that move you and post the best ones.”

He now goes for walks with his children, with one specific reason. To find things of beauty and capture them on his mobile phone.

Join me on Google+ and share what moves you, too.

Sun Rise over Tower Bridge

Something always positive comes out of negative events, and it’s been interesting to see how social networking has played a major part in bringing these Womble clean-up mobs together for the benefit of their own communities – and communities in other parts of London.

That’s when my client revealed something to me (and provided permission to reveal it on here too). Their partner had told them that they were stuck in apathy. 

This was initially just accepted by the client and with true apathy, it almost drifted off into the recesses of her mind as yet another thing she didn’t care about. But something stuck just long enough for her to talk about it to me. Following our session I forwarded on the Wikipedia entry for apathy to see if that helped at all. Although the descriptions seemed to tie in with what she was (or rather wasn’t) feeling. It was the image that finally hit home and made her feel something, even though it was sadness, it was a feeling and something she knew was a sign that things were going to change.

The client realise that not only was she stuck in a state of apathy, but that she was cornered by both boredom and worry. Neither of those two emotions were particularly attractive either. It was then that she decided, that to move from one zone to another didn’t mean she had to spend much time, if any, in those other areas.

She began to write down ideas that would put her in the positive areas. Things she could do. Places she could go. People she could see.

Once she had three or four things in each positive section she sat back and looked at her work. She smiled, a great big warm and relaxed smile. The client had just realised she was already somewhere between Relaxation and Arousal. She selected two of the things that seemed most comfortable to her, and scheduled time in her diary to do them.

Over the next week she completed both the things she set out to do. But what interested her the most is that she found it easier to recognise the ebb and flow of her emotions. Instead of suppressing them, she enjoyed them. By recognising that being stuck in one emotionless state was a place she no longer wanted to be. Even if that meant occasionally feeling worried, bored or anxious. At least she felt alive!

Finding common ground with someone can build instant rapport and allow you to connect with people and a much better level. Learning to find the common ground with someone is a skill that anyone can learn to incorporate into their daily lives.

The course Gina mentions is with http://www.darreneden.com

One of the things that never ceases to intrigue me is that sooner or later, some people take it upon themselves to give me additional background information on their colleagues I’ve met, or am about to meet. They have a feeling that I need to have my expectations set about certain people. Sadly, for the most part, this tends to be a negative opinion. So I listen to their opinions about their workmates’ work ethics, or social capability, and try to understand how they came to this impression.

Then I do my very best to forget everything they have just told me. When I do meet or work with the person in question, I like to start from a point where I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt. I have to remember that it was just the opinion of another person (or persons!), but it’s unlikely that I would have been able to fully understand the context in which the negative impression was created. It’s definitely impossible for me to gain insight from the person in question regarding this negative opinion. So you can see the battle is already very unfair.

To be clear, I still do the same with people that have been given glowing reports too! For me, at least at the beginning, I see everyone on a fresh, clean slate. What they put on that slate is 100% up to them; it’s their own actions and their own words that form my opinion.

Ultimately I may indeed end up with exactly the same negative or positive impression as others, but at least it’s my opinion – and mine alone.

Often we hear people say that if they had more money they would be able to do something else; something more exciting or interesting. Or they blame their current circumstances, having to look after the kids, an elderly relative or some other kind of commitment.

All too often we find ourselves holding on to this wishful thought that if we had the freedom, things would be different. Well Paul and Gina are here to tell you that vision of freedom is, in fact, just an illusion. It’s your own way of stopping you from actually fulfilling your dreams.

By sustaining this illusion, people even feel somewhat satisfied that they have already attained their goal, even though it’s just in their mind. This has the added benefit of them never having to go through the hard work and change that might be required to achieve this dream.

So if you often find yourself lost in wishful thinking, it’s time to shatter that illusion and start working towards making it a reality instead.

Also at the end of the podcast Paul and Sam put out a request for listeners own personal stories of success so keep . Please get in touch if you’d like to tell us and the other listeners how you managed to overcome your own challenges!

There’s nothing worse than getting bad feedback.

There’s nothing more helpful than getting constructive feedback.

So how on earth do you make sure you get the right feedback? Paul and Sam love getting feedback just as much as anyone and during this podcast they discuss some great suggestions on how to ask for feedback so that you get the right information at the right time to help you improve instead of sending you off in the wrong and often depressing spiral caused by poorly given feedback.

Sometimes it feels like we’re swinging from one extreme to the other – one moment careening towards a crash, and a moment later, struggling up the mountain without a clear view of when (or if) we’ll reach the top.

Life can feel like a rollercoaster ride of heady peaks and stomach-churning troughs, and whilst we would all be terribly bored if it was just a flat track to the horizon… wouldn’t it be great if we could learn to balance out those pendulum-swings just a little? Even-it-up a bit so that it flowed more smoothly, and we could actually start to enjoy the ride?

Sam joins Paul on his train-journey of discovery into how we can keep the momentum and motivation flowing when we need it most!

Every time I received these kinds of answers I had to remind the client that coaching is all about taking action; simply stating what you want to be or have (or feel) isn’t going to make it happen.  Only an action that you carry out will help to create your desired end result.

A classic answer from some clients that state intention but not action are:-

• I just need to be more confident
• I want to work on being more understanding
• I want to feel more comfortable in this situation
• I’m going to be more proactive
• I going to stop smoking

All of these statements came from clients when I asked them what action they were going to take over the following week. None of these answers are statements of action; they are all intentions or desired results.

It’s great to have clarity around the result you want, but without knowing how you are going to achieve it you’ll end up putting all your hopes into something just ‘happening like magic’. Just because you said it.

Intentions or statements of a desired result often contain the words “BE”, “HAVE”, “FEEL”, “WANT” or “NEED”.

If you find that when you are setting yourself actions to progress, you are using the above words then chances are you aren’t setting yourself an achievable action. This makes it impossible to complete, so it’s guaranteed to fail.

Make sure you are setting yourself real actions by following these simple steps:-

1. Think of your action as being something physical you have to do.
2. Your action should be something that takes a certain amount of time. It can be just a few minutes or even seconds, but if you can’t imagine how long it will take then it’s not an action!
3. Research is still action! Talking to others about something or looking up more information is still 100% better than just wishing something will occur. Schedule time in your diary and talk over things with a good friend – preferably a good listener.

So once you have decided what you want to “BE” or “HAVE”, consider what is it that you are actually going to “DO” about it.

Remember, just taking ONE small action is infinitely more effective than just thinking about it!

But thinking about the year already whizzing by got Paul and Gina thinking about what really inspires them and helps them really appreciate what they have in life.

What inspires you?

When we hold a belief that is so absolute there is no escaping it, this has real consequences for who we are, how we behave and how we react to situations or people. Yet we don’t always realise we are being so totalitarian.

Even if we catch ourselves uttering definitive sentences, we might wonder why it matters – “So what if I think all women love shopping?” or “So what if I believe relationships always end badly?” or “I’ve never been any good at maths, why should I care now?”

Rather than suggest it is absolutely necessary, Paul and Sam simply suggest it might be worth exploring a belief you have that seems inflexible… join them as they share some tips for how to identify an absolute belief, and then some ways to gently challenge this – from the ridiculous to the more scientific!

You might also want to ponder: What would it mean to you if it wasn’t always true?

Many thanks to Rob for the topic suggestion that sent us down a rabbit hole, where we discovered Pandora’s Box!

Welcome to the holiday (vacation for those in the USA) that almost never was.

So here’s an explanation on how circumstances conspired to almost ruin our holiday and stop it from happening altogether!

Three days before we were due to leave, one of our beloved cats threw up. Nothing unusual about that Eddie (short for Edina, yes the character from Ab Fab) normally throws up a couple of fur balls a week. Thank goodness for wooden, wipe clean flooring! However this time there appeared to be several lumps of blood. We were worried; very worried. The following day Peter took Eddie to the vet, who took some blood for tests and gave us various medications. That afternoon we checked out travel insurance and apparently we were covered if a pet was ill, so we could cancel our holiday and claim – if necessary.

That night, while keeping a close eye on Eddie, worrying ourselves sick over what could be wrong,we caught her eating some flowers, small bright red, some may say blood red flowers…. Panic over, the holiday was back on.

So we’re off! Up at the hideous time of 3:45am to pack and catch our train at 4:35am. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Tickets, money, passport, check! Off we trek glad to put the false alarm behind us and look forward to relaxing in the sun. Upon arrival at the train station it seems the 4:35am train was changed to a 4:20, so we missed that one. Still, no panic there is another at 5:05am that should still give us plenty of time. Two hours for check-in is always excessive. The train seemed to be going really slowly and stopping at several places we weren’t expecting it to. (We were on the right train, weren’t we? Ah an announcement, yes we were!) Finally we arrive at the airport, locate our check-in area with a queue (line for the folks from the USA) that seemed to take up half the airport. Almost an hour later we are checked in! Our boarding time on our ticket seems to say boarding started five minutes ago. Our route to the security gates is diverted to some back room that looks like something they only use for the really cheap flights, well I guess that’s fair enough… Through security, no embarrassing body search, yay! Finally something went right.

A quick march off to the gate, which seems to be well over a 20 minute walk! The passengers are already boarding, we join the queue and are finally on board – after another five minute walk! This really was the furthest plane from our arrival at the airport! But we made it!

The plane journey was blissfully uneventful, although I was feeling a little stressed still from the sick cat, slow train, and check-in from hell. Nevertheless we arrived safely at Palma airport in Mallorca. We split up, I get the car rental sorted and Pete waits for the luggage. By the time I’m done refusing an infinite number of upgrades and duplicate over insurance, Pete has just picked up the suitcases, another win!

Off we go to the car park to find our car, it’s quite a big car park and it seems to confuse us, so we end up walking backwards and forwards either way about three times before we finally track down the world’s smallest hire car. Still, no problem, we manage to squeeze in the two suitcases and bags. Set up the GPS and start to program in the villa. OK, can’t find the villa, so we try the road. Can’t find the road, so the town. Nope, still no luck. We resort to the written instructions provided by the holiday company. They seem decent enough, and we are finally on the road.

But the GPS continues to freak out, by not having most of the roads listed in its map and reporting disk errors and it suddenly decides it’s night and turns the screen ultra dark. GPS now pronounced DOA (dead on arrival). The directions were great up to about 10 minutes before our destination. At this point they seemed to have different road names and vague descriptions of the final turning and location of or villa. We arrive and what seems, rather worryingly, a rather clapped out old villa. The gate is locked and we can’t find the key box anywhere. Pete attempts to climb over the brick wall, almost pulling it down in his effort for scale it. Still unable to find the key box he returns to the car as someone else drives past and toots their horn at us. Pete speaks to the lady, who only speaks Spanish and he only speaks pointing and smiling. Pete works out that our villa is further up the road.

We arrive at our beautiful villa, in large grounds and behind a large wrought iron and padlocked gate. With no key box in sight. Maybe we are just early, check-in is meant to be around 4pm and it’s still only about 12:30pm. As we head off again in search of a supermarket to buy provisions we decided to call the representative and ask for advice, just in case the gate shouldn’t be locked and we needed her to come out and unlock it. She was very friendly and said she should be there within the hour.

We continue on to get our supplies, not quite sure how we will fit everything in the tiny car as it’s pretty much full already with our luggage. Just as we finish squeezing the last of our shopping in to the back seat of the car, the rep calls to tell us that the padlock wasn’t actually locked so we could have just lifted it off ourselves. Oh, the shame.

Two days into our unwinding, we decide to go for a little drive out and see what we can see. Within about 30mins I have what can be only described as the closest thing to a major collision. So close in fact that the front number plate was dislodged and you can actually see the tyre marks along the front of the car. Just a few inches farther forward and the impact could have been so much worse it simply defies thinking about.

So the moral of my tale is simple: despite everything that almost went wrong, we did everything we could to deal with each issue as it arose. We supported each other when we struggled. Most importantly, we didn’t give up. Here I am now, several drinks later (so goodness only knows how this will read!) and having a wonderful relaxing time. This will go down as one of the toughest holidays I’ve ever had, but dammit, it’s my holiday and I am determined to enjoy it!

We’ve all had the experience of someone giving us the most infuriating piece of advice, regardless of how well-intentioned it is – especially when they seem to be quoting clichéd phrases just “Just learn to let it go”.

These sorts of banal phrases can really push our buttons, but this ultimately makes the situation (and how we’re feeling) worse. So Sam and Paul explore some ways to not only re-frame the moments when we find ourselves on the receiving end of a poorly-timed or unhelpful piece of advice, but also some alternative ways of responding to the psychobabble that could help take the sting out of it.

Often when people first hear that phrase it strikes fear into them, that dreaded thought of moving out of their comfort zone. This is often because people think they need to do something something big and dramatic, and that quite frankly scares the life out of them. This simple is not true.

Expanding your comfort zone should feel much more like taking a small step everyday. Think of it as more of a breath of fresh air.

Being in your comfort zone really means how you feel when you are doing the same things you do every day. Without much thought or concern. It’s your natural state and requires very little preparation, consideration or energy.

To really stretch yourself out of your comfort zone, just think about taking it one small step at a time. To take one step out of your comfort zone, you should feel its something out of the ordinary. Something that breaks your normal routine. But not something that is too overwhelming or just down right risky! Try doing something physical or task that requires a bit of preparation, anything that means you have to think about how you are going to do it.

It’s by taking these small steps every day to gradually expand your comfort zone. The new and different, becomes routine. That’s exactly what expanding your comfort zone means!

Sam and Paul explore the process of outsourcing and compare it to the general delegation of a task; both can be quite a minefield if you aren’t careful!

So, just because you have given the work to someone else to complete, doesn’t mean you are off the hook or no longer responsible. You still need to work with them to ensure the results are what you expect!

Whether you delegate chores at home, tasks at work or larger outsourcing projects/roles, join us as we explore the dangers and challenges of delegating a task, along with some tips and strategies to ensure it goes according to plan (and doesn’t backfire on you)!

“Do you think that the more formal process of goal setting works better for everybody, and everyone should use it to achieve more?”

Sam and Paul consider the options and situations where structured goal setting is really required, but admit themselves that they don’t always have to follow a rigid process to move towards their dreams.

Thanks Matt for a brilliant question!

So now is your chance to drop me an email to Paul (at) ActionPodcast (dot) com and let me know what you’d like to hear in a future podcast.

It can be pretty much any topic at all, health, goal setting or maybe a specific problem you are trying to over come. Even if you aren’t sure if it’s something we normally cover, drop us a note and we’ll have a chat with you first if we need more information or need to clarify anything.

So drop us an email, leave a comment or post something on our facebook page.

I look forward to hearing from you soon!

I’ve now been going back to the gym for 3 weeks, 4-5 times a week. I’ve discovered that if I just go to the gym 2-3 times a week my days off become too tempting for me to have “just another” day off. Always promising myself “I’ll go tomorrow!”, which of course I ended up repeating the next day, until every shred of motivation had been stripped away.

So my first trick is to go every day. Even if it’s only for 30-45 minutes.

After a few days of this routine, or especially after a nice relaxing and rather over indulgent weekend, I would find Mondays a bit of a struggle. So this time I ended up allowing myself to reel off all the excuses of why I didn’t need to go today… but while I was actually getting ready and walking out of the door!

It was a bit like when you see a mother trying to put a coat on a petulant child. The child loudly protests and gives all the reasons why she doesn’t want, or need to wear her coat. However, when the mother humorously just agrees with her daughter, the child allows her to put it on.

During my own wrestle with my inner voice – while getting dressed for the gym – I managed to come up with the following excuses:

• It’s very early
• I’m still tired
• Maybe I’m hungover
• I might be ill
• I can take a day off
• I can go tomorrow
• Maybe I could go later
• Oh, I don’t have my iPod I will definitely have to go back home
• If I go back home I may as well stay there, it’s not worth it…

I was actually about 10 paces out of my front door by the time the iPod excuse was thrown in. But I didn’t turn around, I just kept marching my petulant child (my inner voice) off to the gym.

The great thing about this technique is that you end up building your motivation by doing what you really want to do, despite all the de-motivating self-talk. The following day, my motivation had returned to almost full strength. By today (Wednesday) I had no problem what-so-ever!

Remember, it’s ACTION that promotes MOTIVATION, not in-action.

In this podcast Paul and Gina discuss ways you can actually start getting motivated, what you can focus on to maintain momentum – and reach your intended goals. As both coaches have recently started back at the gym themselves, they will be posting weekly accountability blogs on our Action Podcast Facebook page – in an effort to keep their own momentum going!

Have you recently started something new, or been hesitating from taking the plunge?

Paul & Sam explore different ways of dealing with the teething pains of trying a new challenge, and how you can let them be helpful rather than harmful. Take your pick of perspective shifts to either motivate, strengthen or sign-post you along the way!

The High Street in Halifax at 7pm

This was the question posed to me recently on Twitter. You see, I’ve been spending a LOT of time in Halifax recently. It’s a relatively small town in West Yorkshire, in the north of England. It’s situated in a valley with three main roads in and out of the town. Most of the roads are one-way and traffic can be snarled up for quite some time during rush hour. There are a couple of very large companies based there which means a lot of people commute. This, in my humble opinion, is the root of the problem.

Most people can’t wait to get out, beat the traffic and get home in time for “tea”. This leaves Halifax like a ghost town in the evenings. Most places are closed either on a Monday or Tuesday, or even worse have shut down completely. Walking down the deserted high street in the evenings all I see are pound shops, charity shops, discount bakers, pawn brokers and banks.

So after several visits I must admit I was commenting on the sorry state of the town quite a bit on Twitter. So much so that someone, quite rightly, challenged me with a question that felt like a slap around the face with a cold wet kipper. (No, I have no idea where that analogy came from either).

“There must be something good about Halifax?!”

I very quickly realised that I had fallen into the trap of wallowing. I seemed to be getting some twisted satisfaction providing details of how depressing the town was and how I couldn’t wait to get home to London.

After a few moments, I began to realise that there was something I loved about the place. The people I’m working with are the cream of their area. They are hard working, yet fun and friendly. They take time to help you when you are in need. They are a really great bunch of people to be working with.

So from now on whenever I think about returning to Halifax, I think about my work colleagues, and realise that I’m actually looking forward to seeing them. Sometimes you have to take the good with the bad, but just don’t let the bad bits blur your vision.

So my challenge to you is simple. Think about your current situation and anything that you feel is negative, or that you have a very low opinion of, and ask yourself….

There must be something good about this?

Then let me know what it is!

Thousands of people have been affected by the recent nasty flu bug. So how can you make sure you take more care of yourself to stop it knocking you for six?! We can’t live in a bubble, but there are ways you can take care of yourself throughout the year to ensure your body and your immune system is in tip top shape when the next flu season comes around.

Gina tells Paul how she unfortunately spent a lot of the Christmas holiday period sick in bed. So this year she has committed to making sure she looks after herself all year long!

For more information on flu have a look at the NHS website

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Flu/Pages/Introduction.aspx

All I want for Christmas is for you to have a wonderful time and celebrate your festive socks off.

Spend time with friends, family or even if you are working, have an amazing time.

If I did have just one wish though it would be to have you tell your friends and family about Action Podcast and have them listen to one of our podcasts or browse through our blog posts. Let them know there is a free ebook ready and waiting for them too!

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!

By carefully identifying if you are switching or truly multitasking you can make an informed decision on whether to focus on an important task until it’s completed or to continue really multitasking in its true sense.

Chris and Paul take another tip from the new ActionPodcast eBook and discover a few home truths when it comes to multitasking.

Gina and Paul talk about how we all can find ourself in a situation where we find we just aren’t being honest with ourselves or the people around us. Maybe we started to tell little white lies at first as it just didn’t seem important, but now it’s become unbearable.

At the start of a relationship it’s all to easy to adapt yourself to fit into the image that you think your potential partner is really looking for, only to find further down the line, you end up resenting them for “making” you act in a different way.

Find out how being honest from the “get go” can really make your life and relationships a lot less troublesome in the future. Learn to be loved for who you really are.

This tip was also covered in our ebook which you can download instantly by popping your email address into the box in the top right corner of this page.

What Every Body Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Speed-reading People[Paperback] 

Here’s how: by simply by giving yourself a few seconds to calm down and sense what the real issues are, what the person is asking for and how you can really be of most help to them. Giving great customer services does not mean you have to compromise yourself.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also receive a copy of our new e-Book.

Their website is called auto-tune the news. For those of you unfamiliar with this technology, I’ll give you a quick run through. In the old days, when a singer recorded a song they really needed to be pitch perfect. Then some technical genius created a way to fine-tune voices to make them sound better than they are – very common practice for the ‘just average’ singers out there. Cheryl Cole is a case in point! Listen to most of them live and you will know what I mean.

So now, in post production, the technical teams can actually adjust the pitch of the vocals to perfectly match what should have been sung. That’s called auto-tuning.

So without getting into the fact that a lot of singers today are made to sound better than they really are, let’s get back to the Gregory Brothers. They have taken this auto-tune system and put it to something that really shouldn’t need it. The news!

For an example you need to click the link to YouTube and watch the original news story. It’s a very serious incident as I’m sure everyone would agree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPAeXI5rN9E

Did you watch it? No? Ok I’ll wait for you, click the link above and then come back

Ok now you have watched it, now click the link below to see the auto tuned version.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMtZfW2z9dw

There are two things that amaze me about this.

1. The enormous creative talent they must have to create this song
2. This one version of the song (and there are many!) has been viewed over 35million times!

They even hooked up with Antoine, the man in the video, and created an iTunes version of the song. The money raised from the song is split with them and Antoine’s family. They are using that money to put a deposit on a house and get out of the ‘projects’ (state or council accommodation).

Antoine says that dealing with the original crisis, it is in their families’ nature to dust themselves off and carry on. I admire that, a lot.

Thanks to that attitude he is now a global sensation and earning enough money to build a better life for his family.

Now whenever I feel a little low, I listen to that song, smile, dust myself off and carry on.

We all have times when the going gets tough, it’s all a part of the ups an downs of life. If you feel you are going through, or are about to, a period in your life that could be a bit of a burden, then this podcast is for you. Packed full of tips, tricks and ideas you might like to try yourself.

• Learn how to reduce the burden of long distance and frequent traveling
• Develop how to take a break, even when work is demanding a lot of your time
• How to cope with over indulgence, either self imposed or as a result of a host’s hospitality
• Techniques on how to stick to what you know is good for you
• Dealing with repetitive tasks

Find out your own ways to relieve the pressure and then let us know what works for you!

(As mentioned in the podcast here is he photo of Chris at the Pyramids!)

All of it actually, as I was born in 1970, October 5th to be precise. So
those of you quick off the mark will realise that very, very soon I’ll
be hitting the big 4-0.

As a child, I can recall thinking that in the year 2000 I would be 30
years old. It blew my mind to think that I would be a fully grown man
then, maybe even married. I even remember thinking ‘I wonder what I’ll
be like when I’m 40?’. But that was just a step too far for my young mind
to comprehend.

In my teenage years, I wished 30 would come quickly as I felt that being
a teenager I wasn’t taken seriously. It was a frustrating time. Feeling
old enough to understand the world I lived in, yet still treated like a
child without a clue.

In my 20s, I went a bit wild, to say the least. It was a rather ‘busy’
and hedonistic time that showed me glimpses of another world. That world
could have easily swallowed me whole, chewed me up and spat me out as
nothing but a quivering wreck or worse. Thankfully, I did manage to
survive my own escapades. And I learnt that what could best be described as addictive behaviour, if left unchecked, could have been the ruin of me.

Then I hit 30. It was the magical age I had dreamed of as a child. So
now I’m at the end of my 39th year, what did it really hold for me?

Everything I thought it would. I finally found and married my partner.
Whenever I look at the ring on my finger I feel proud. Especially as
being gay and married to a man is a triumph of the age we live in today
and that we reside in the UK. I live in an amazing apartment in central
London, with views (albeit obstructed) of the world famous Tower Bridge.
I became a coach, which has allowed me the privilege of being there for
people at a time when they needed help the most.

I created ActionPodcast.com with four amazing people, and it has taken us on the
most amazing journey of exploration, and the most exciting thing is that
it’s really only just started!

This proves to me that if you have the courage to dream, the rewards
will be greater than you could possible imagine.

When is the last time you reviewed your communication with your fellow workers?

More specifically do you take control and manage up the communication between you and your manager?

During this podcast Chris and Paul talk about how you can actively work smarter and not harder.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

So when a listener wrote in recently, Sam & Paul were keen to present a bouquet of flowers as thanks:

Whether its a small dinner party or a large event, join us as we explore the different levels of attention we can switch between at a social events, and how to combat the sense of guilt when you find yourself tired, bored or feeling trapped. With a bit of practice and these neat tips, the dance of the social butterfly is one we can all start to enjoy!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

Paul and Sam explore the possibilities of asking “How to…?” do something – whether it is drawing, cooking or starting a podcast! From opening a Pandora’s box on Google, to discussing the merits of having a clear goal (or picture) vs simply knowing where to start; different styles can even affect our self-criticism!

Join us for this teddy-bears’ picnic! (And do share your drawing on our Facebook page if you take up the How-to-draw-a-Bear Challenge!)

Paul's How-to-draw-a-bear!

Sam's How-to-draw-a-bear!

And here’s a sneaky video of Paul’s drawing in action!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

I wish I could tell them everything will be fine by the time they wake up tomorrow, but it won’t.

I wish I could ease their burden by taking away or fixing some significant part of their problems, but that’s just not possible.

I wish I knew exactly the right words to say: one magic phrase to help them through this. Sadly, I’m not magician.

It’s a horrible thing to be going through for anyone. I feel terrible that there’s no way I can fix things for them and make everything better. Even sending money would only bring mild and very temporary relief. The only thing I can offer them that will make a difference, is my time. By talking through with them what undoubtedly must feel like one of the worst times in their life.

I know for sure that when I went through hard times myself, it wasn’t so much what people said, but that they still wanted to talk to me. My friends and family didn’t have all the answers. Often they struggled to fully understand how much pain and suffering I was going through.

But the fact that they tried made the world of difference.

Out of all the conversations, there will be that one word or idea that seemed to provide just a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Talking to them was often uncomfortable as I would have to be more open and honest than I would really have liked, and I’m sure at times, they felt that way too.

I realised that it was those people that were my light at the end of the tunnel. Without them I would have never found my way out. I hope, in some way, I can be that light for my friends who are in need right now.

What are your two magic words?

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post! You’ll also be the first to receive a copy of our new e-Book.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

• BNI
• Athena
• Toast Masters
• Drinks and Links

You can also find many groups using the website Meetup.com. That is where we have our very own ActionPodcast Meetup Group.

In today’s podcast we talk about our own experiences with these groups, what went well, and an example of how not to network!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

The show on NBC isn’t available to people outside of the USA, so you can view the first episode directly from breakthroughwithtonyrobbins.com

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

As part of being a member of the BNI (Business Networking International) I’m entitled to some quite good training events. I’ve recently attended their new members training and during that session they also talked about how to prepare for your 60 seconds. The type of information you should be looking to cover and how to structure it best. So with my new found leaning from the course I went home and put together my 60 second speech.It really surprised me at how differently I had to write to make it work. Writing for an article to be read, is totally different to writing something that is going to be spoken out loud. I had to really simplify my language so that each word flowed into the next. Any time I practised the speech I would find a spot that I would have difficultly in saying, so I’d see if I would simplify it more. I tested the speech out on a couple of friends who helped me tweak it some more and timed me to make sure I was hitting as close as possible to the 60 seconds.

Last Friday I went to the BNI group again and used my 60 second speech. I was almost dead on the 60 seconds and had just a few seconds to ad lib at the end. I was delighted. It wasn’t the most exciting 60 seconds, but it was effective, it covered all the points and was fluid. So how does this relate to personal development you ask?

Well this type of action is a fantastic way of building your confidence in an area that you feel needs a bit of work. By giving it a format, a structure that covers everything it needs, you are giving yourself a basic template also known as a Boilerplate. The purpose of this isn’t to then use it permanently unchanged. The idea is that once you have the basic format in plate you DO change it.

Your boilerplate is your base line, your starting point, not your end point. From your boilerplate you know what must be in place, from there as you grow in confidence and your skills develop, you can adapt it. Either with some additional preparation or, if you feel daring enough, on the fly and ad lib some new bits into it each time you use your boilerplate. That way you have something to fall back on it things go a bit wry.

Have a think about some of the places you are already using a boilerplate. Maybe cooking your favourite meal, each time you make it, it’s somehow a little different. Going to the gym, you have a basic routine that you follow, but each time you go you do something else to liven it up. Even at work you may produce the same report on a regular basis but each time you do it, you find a new and more efficient way to do some part of it. By having that boilerplate, a base line to work from, you know what to do. After a while of using that base line your creative side starts to kick in.

Although having the boilerplate may initially seem a bit restrictive and even dull, it helps you put in place the foundation upon which you can build. By having the initial structure in place, your creative side is engaged, and before you know it, new ideas are flowing. You begin to tweak things here and there. If you can think about an area of your life or a task that you need to do and you are struggling with it, think about creating a boilerplate for it. Then watch it blossom into a creative and unique tool that you can flexibly use everyday.

Just for a giggle, I’ve recorded my speech onto YouTube. I still need to use it a few more times and be able to recall it without having to read my notes. The important thing is it’s a start and from there it can only get better.

ENJOY! And please do feel free to comment, I’d love to get some feed back on how to improve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYVBOYXFnng

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Tricks of the magazine trade

In today’s podcast, Paul and Gina look at ways we can combat the ‘comparison game’ and come out on top.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

During a recent session it quickly became clear that I was on the verge of taking on too much. Over the last few months the power of being coached has resulted in some significant changes in my life and how I view situations. I’d been actively putting in a lot of work, spinning a lot of plates and generally been about as busy as I could physically be.

What surprised me was that I’ve now reached a point where pretty much everything is going to plan, on track and on schedule. I found myself looking for that extra thing that would put me back into the sensation of feeling, well rushed, busy and on the edge of coping.

I had become so used to “working my butt off” that now I had been able to schedule things better, automate them or even outsource them (my new favourite thing!) I was presented with a strange feeling of “what next?”!

Thankfully working with my coach I was able to see that, I was busy, very busy in fact. I was however, working smarter, better than before and I was now producing the results without having to work 16 hours a day. Ultimately I want to keep it this way, working at a pace that is healthy and even FUN!  As long as I’m still progressing, make moves in the direction that I want to go at a pace that works, then I’m doing the right thing.

I’d love to hear from others that have almost become so used to feeling rushed, that they often end up missing that feeling when everything is going to plan. What do you do to make sure you don’t overload yourself, just because you feel you should. How do you know when enough is enough?

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Sam and Paul as the question of “So what?” to challenge themselves before someone else does!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

During my experience, I found myself on several occasions that I had to “check-in” with myself. I was finding that whilst the pain came in waves, sometimes I would be so busy shouting and screaming that I’d occasionally not notice that the pain has actually subsided! It got me thinking what else am I, or other people, trying to cope with that’s actually is no longer true.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

One thing to really make clear is that it’s a two way street!

We love to hear from our listeners or website visitors on their stories. What troubles they are experiencing. How they have overcome adversity and triumphed!

There are a whole bunch of ways you can contact us and it means so much to us when you do!

You can email us by filling out the contact form on each of the presenters’ bio pages, or just add our first name to the start of the email @actionpodcast.com.

If it’s regarding a specific blog post or podcast then you can add a comment directly to that post.

You can even post a review on iTunes itself (we especially love 5 star reviews )

To make sure you receive all the new content as it’s published you can subscribe to our email newsletter. Don’t worry we hate spam just as much as you do. The only thing you’ll ever be sent is updates to our blogs or podcasts.

Share the LOVE! Do you know someone that would be interested in some of the topics that we have covered or personal development in general? Then why not pop them an email with our web address and have them check out the latest podcast on iTunes?

Why not drop us an email today with what’s going on in your life and ask us what topics you’d like some help or direction on? We promise to keep your email and identity private and confidential. We’ll always check with you first before discussing anything on the website or podcast.

Whether you are a personal development Guru or just thinking about making changes in your life for the better, you have a friend in the business! Action Podcast would love help you anyway we can.

Ways to contact ActionPodcast

1. Use the contact form on the presenters’ Bio page, Paul, Gina, Sam, Chris
2. Email a presenter directly, put their name in front of @actionpodcast.com
3. Use the comment form at the bottom of every page
4. Post a review on iTunes
5. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter which contains comment and email links

We look forward to hearing from you!

A word of caution! If you find mutual appreciation, positive feedback or expressions of love or adoration unpalatable – then this podcast probably won’t be for you!

These 4 questions were originally introduced to Sam by a fellow coach and friend, who had trained in Brian Mayne’s Life Mapping process. Check out Brian’s site for more information.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

When you look at it properly you’ll see evidence that this trend has been progressing for a long time. The number of “one bed” or “studio” properties seem much more prevalent than the traditional multi bedroom homes. People strive for their independence to live in their own home, but at what cost?

I run a confidence coaching group for gay men in central London and the topic of the session frequently turns to social interaction.

• How do I start a conversation?
• I hate small talk, it really sounds so cheesy!
• How do I deal with rejection?
• I tend to just sit back and let others talk, I want to change that.

It’s these sorts of things that we have all felt from time to time and the social networking online doesn’t seem to provide a direct solution to these difficulties.

“At one level, it has enabled people to make connections they might not otherwise have made, and virtual friendships can evolve into real-life relationships.” – suggests the report by the Mental Health Foundation.

I can personally testify to the power of converting online relationships to real life ones, in fact I met my husband because of the internet!

Using the power of these websites you can certainly expand your virtual social circle, but remember that there is a whole deeper level in the real world. Keeping in touch online is fantastic! Meeting face to face to chat, eat, drink, watch a movie, have a picnic, etc, provides you with so much more.  Not only do these real world interactions provide you with new blog stories, facebook pictures and tweets – but they directly counter loneliness!

There is a very simple and small step we can all take to significantly battle this new wave loneliness. The next time you’re changing your status update…. think about using it to arrange your next real world event. It doesn’t have to be the biggest party of the year, dinner or drinks work just as well.

Don’t use social networks to replace your interactions, use them to enhance the real life ones!

Chris and Paul work though some of the tricks people use to make them think they have more time than they really do, and how to ultimately stop being late for everything!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

At the same time, we don’t often think about what being mentally healthy is like either, or what our mental health can actually mean for our daily lives. Join Paul and Sam for this podcast ‘experiment’ as they explore what their own personal definitions are – and give you the opportunity to discover yours.

We all experience life’s ups and downs, and go through periods of stress; so what if there was a personal checklist just for you that could help you cope with those experiences a bit better?

Let’s find out! Ideally, you’ll need to have 1-2 minutes where you can pause the podcast at the appropriate point and jot down a few ideas in response to a question. If that isn’t convenient, then do try to make time to find your own answers later on – as they’ll be much more meaningful for you and will hopefully give you a blueprint or some signposts to come back to and take action on.

We would love to hear whether you’ve found this experiment helpful or not, so please let us know! If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review, and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly.

“@KillerCassandra Do a podcast on patience, and do it now, not tomorrow and not next week and not next month. Did you do it yet?”

Patience seems to be something that everyone has an issue with at some time. Paul and Sam talk about some of the pit falls and things you can do to actively work on issues with patience.

For a little musical inspiration (courtesy of Guns N Roses): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEzuC5UoM8g

And for more info or to say hi to Damien, visit Your Natural Way.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

What is the first thing that strikes you about this person? What is their hair like? Do they have any? What are they wearing? Already you will be making decisions about them and making a judgement on what they did to present themselves they way that they do.

It’s so easy to then make a snap decision on what they SHOULD have done. Quite quickly you have re-organised their wardrobe, found them a new hair style, given them a quick make over and sorted out their relationship issues by telling them to dump that loser……

Being critical about someone is second nature. It makes you wonder where and why we learnt this skill. What makes us tear someone apart within seconds of seeing them?

Now, try and come up with one thing you like about that person. One thing you think they have did well in.

At first it can be a struggle, especially if it’s someone you don’t like!

But try, even if it seems trivial and pointless at first, find just one thing that is a positive statement to say about that person.

It can be something about their physical appearance, or something they are wearing or even just they way they smile and interact with another person.

Now, the challenge!

I want you to find one good thing about everyone you meet over the course of a day. Initially just keep it to yourself, just build up the practise of identifying that one good thing. First you might find this hard work, but as you continue you realise it becomes easier to pick something out. When you see something really good about someone, see if you can tell them. Don’t go over board and make it sound like you are a stalker! Just drop it in to conversation if you can, or drop the compliment in passing and move on. That way they won’t get stuck in an embarrassing situation of having to say thank you. Often a “thank you” is swiftly followed up with and negation:-

Oh this old thing?
Oh it’s nothing the other person did all the hard work
It was more good luck than good sense!

As stated in the subject, being nice is HARD WORK! Not only do you have to realign your thought process to target the positive but then you have to dodge the negations that come soon after.

After one day of spotting these positives and maybe even telling a few people about it. Check in with yourself and see if you notice anything different? Are you exhausted from all that mental hard work or are you energised from all that positivity? You may be surprised by the result!

Whatever happens drop a comment in the box below and let me know what happened when you did it.

Was being nice really hard work for you?

“Ok. here is something that I can use some help with. I’m a ‘fixer’ I like to help as much as possible. The problem is that my wife has cancer and this is something I can’t fix. I want to help but not sure what I can do other than being supportive (which to me isn’t enough). So can you advise a fix for a fixer?”

Sam and I (Paul) talked about the topic and both thought it through for a week before recording this podcast. It was quite different to our normal ones, but I hope you find it interesting.

———-

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Now it seems more like trying to drink from a fire hydrant when we are trying to find a few answers. Yes love it or loath it, the internet is a powerful tool. Learning how we can handle just the right amount of information to make an informed decision is a skill that many of us are still struggling with. One of our listeners asked us

“How do you know when you’ve got enough information & how to put into practice. How do you avoid becoming overwhelmed with knowledge?”

So during this podcast Paul and Gina talk through their own experiences with “Analysis Paralysis” and give a few tips and tricks on how to deal with information overload.

Further reading:

The 4 Hour Work Week

The Artists Way

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Of course ActionPodcast is your number one but other than that what other websites, iPhone apps and systems do you use to keep you on track with your own personal development?

Personally I use the following

1. Actionpodcast.com (of course!)
2. Morning pages – I use either good old fashioned pen and paper, or I have a couple of iPhone apps that I use. They are EverNote and ShapeWriter.
3. DailyBurn - helps me track my weight and general fitness.
4. Google Calendar – I would be pretty much lost without it. As I have it synchronised with my iPhone I have it everywhere I go.
5. Google Docs – Great for keeping track, of pretty much anything using their suite of spread sheets, text documents and even presentations. I’ve also found that I can create quick and simple forms using Google docs and then use them on my iPhone for tracking things like expenses. The form then automatically fills out a spreadsheet for me, which makes doing my finances each week a breeze!
6. Social websites – I’ve bunched them together, but Facebook and twitter type sites really help me keep up with my friends, family and are a great way to ask for HELP! I use Ping.fm to send updates to all my social websites at the same time.
7. GymFu – I recently found a cool suite of applications for the iPhone that actively monitor your movements as you work out. It actually tells you how many to do, when to slow down even when your form isn’t quite right!

I love hearing about how people use technology and the internet every day in their own personal development. So please take a minute to send me your top favourites!

ENJOY!

Overcoming redundancy: Brilliant ideas to help you bounce back (Paperback)

Rebuilding Your Life After Redundancy: The New Life Network Handbook (Paperback)

The Career Change Handbook: How to Find Out What You’re Good at and Enjoy – Then Get Someone to Pay You for It

What Color is Your Parachute? 2010: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers (Paperback)

Turn Redundancy to Opportunity : Proven Techniques and Programmes for Taking Charge of Your Own Future

Burning the Suit: Fighting Back Against the Aftershock of Redundancy

Gina’s full blog post can be found at www.ginabaksa.com

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Why did you do that?

Why didn’t you do what you said you would?

The reason being is that this type of questioning normally results in the client having to justify themselves and can put them in a defensive stance. This frame of mind is the type of situation we find ourselves in, often as children but not exclusively, when we are asked to explain something.

Immediately your defences go up and your brain goes into overdrive to come up with a reason, whether it is strictly honest doesn’t matter. Making sure that you “save face” by providing a valid reason, for your actions or inactions, seems to take an unreasonable priority. Basically you end up saying what you think is the right thing to say instead of what really matters, the truth.

It’s completely automatic and without some time to stop, consider and re-evaluate, it’s really hard not to snap into that defensive mode. So we, as coaches, like to avoid putting our clients into a defensive mode by avoiding the “Why?” question.

However, sometimes that is exactly what you want someone to do when they are in need of some kind of motivational affirmation.

For example:-

Why is it important for you to change your job?

Why will losing weight be good for you?

Why do you want to achieve this goal?

This time the why question is reaffirming the positive intention or motivation behind an action. It gives people the chance to remind themselves the reasons they are giving themselves this extra bit of work to do.

Asking why for a justification will put up barriers and cause the person to become defensive and clam up. Asking why as a way to discover motivational reasoning will encourage the person to look a little deeper and discover what is really important to them.

So next time you find yourself posing the question “Why….?” take a moment to check whether you are asking for justification or motivational reasoning, as you will get significantly different results.

What does abundance mean, and what difference could it make to our lives? Paul and Sam are joined by two guests – lovely ladies Annmarie and Nancy, facilitators of the 55 Concepts – as they discuss their personal experiences of what abundance means, and how to tell if we are living in a state of abundance or in a state of lack.

Join us to explore what you can do to start increasing your awareness of which state you are choosing, and what you can do to experience more abundance in your life. It is time to get curious, be present, and try a sprinkling of gratitude to see how different life can look!

* Apologies in advance for the abundance of traffic noise adding to the discussion a few minutes into this podcast!

For more information on the 55 Concepts, or to get in touch with  Nancy Baker and Annmarie Serratore, visit www.55concepts.com (free newsletter, audio and classes available).

As this is a special edition guest podcast, and is slightly longer than our normal discussions, here’s a summary of the key action ideas:

• Journal your gratitude daily
• Get support – sometimes we can’t see what’s right in front of us
• ‘We chase what we believe we do not have’ – look at what you’re chasing and what beliefs you have about why you don’t have it
• Be present to the abundance in your life (notice and acknowledge)
• Consider what bothers you in others as a signpost for what you need to change in yourself to experience abundance

We would love to celebrate our special birthday with a few of your comments and reviews via the iTunes store.

Please take a few minutes to log in to iTunes and register your customer rating and a customer review.

Action Podcast on iTunes

Thanks you so much in advance – we look forward to reading your reviews soon!

Paul, Sam, Gina and Chris
The Action Podcast Team

This week, technology was on best-behaviour. But neither Sam nor Paul could remember the topic they’d been planning to podcast about! What happens when you just can’t remember…?!

Paul: So Sam, do you have any ideas for a topic tonight?

Sam: Um, didn’t we have one last week that we discussed and got really excited about?

Paul: Oh, yeah! We did speak about something… but I can’t remember what it was. I’ll check my notes…

Sam: Hmm. I can’t remember either – I just know it was going to be a good one! Maybe I sent you an email about it…?

Both: Nope – absolutely nothing written down or sent. Can’t remember! Oh well, let’s just have a chat anyway.

Paul: So how was your week?

Sam: It’s been good…<detailed update about a couple of key events/issues>. It’s strange, but when you let things go it creates space for the universe to provide solutions and opportunities.

Paul: That’s so true…<detailed description of similar experiences>. One of my meditation books suggests asking the universe for something, without harm to others.

Sam: I really like that. It reminds me of the ‘be careful what you wish for’ idea. I wouldn’t want to get what I’m asking for at a cost to someone else. I like to pray with gratitude, and to trust that everything happens for a reason. If it’s meant to be it will be.

Both: <more discussion on metaphysical topics>.

Paul: Yeah, it takes you out of the victim mode; helps you realise you have choices/options…

Sam: That was it!! Our topic! We’ve come full circle – and after surrendering our lost topic idea, it has returned to us 30mins later! How amazing is that?!

Stay tuned for the rediscovered topic when Paul & Sam get recording next…

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

What would you have done differently?

I was visiting a team of administrators this week to give them a presentation on how to work more effectively with another department. Whilst I was fine tuning my presentation I over heard two people having a conversation that really wasn’t going anywhere. Lets call them A and B for simplicities sake.

A wanted B to do a piece of work. B was in the middle of doing something and states that he cannot do that right now. These two points of view were repeated a few times with out much more being added or taken away. The result was A walked away saying “fine whatever”.

Both A and B were clearly trying to convey a message that didn’t seem to be resonating with the other person. So it got me thinking what was going wrong and how could they have had a more productive exchange?

It really boils down to one factor. Time.

• Time to think
• Time to converse
• Time to agree
• Time to action

Some people say that Time is the most valuable thing you have. I must say that it’s pretty difficult to deny. No matter how hard you try, time is basically linear. The only choice you really have is what do you spend your time on, not whether to spend it at all.

So let’s review the conversation again. Person A has already spent time on thinking about the piece of work he wants to give to B. He approaches B and spends time detailing the subject. B becomes somewhat defensive and is unable to spend any time thinking, agreeing, taking action and even to some degree even conversing! What would have been great to see at this point is A recognising this and restarting his own time process.

1. Think – why is B not able to just accept what I’m saying and take on this work?
2. Converse – ask them, now that A has given himself time to think “what’s wrong here, what have I missed or not considered?”
3. Agree – during the agree section, A must allow B time to take to two previous steps to think about what is being proposed and to converse over any issues or questions they may have. Once both A and B have been able to Think and Converse they can agree how to move forward.
4. Action – A’s action will be to check after the time allotted that B has been able to complete the work assignment. B’s action will be to carry out the work or if something happens to start the process again so that he can explain what stopped them.

Now here comes the punchline. If you miss a step what happens?

• Think, but nothing else. You’re left wondering what went wrong and start to assign blame.
• Converse, but nothing else. Conversing with someone without thinking, agreeing or taking action? That’s sounding awfully like an argument!
• Agree. Agreement has to be on both sides.Without the others, this isn’t agreeing, it’s demanding!
• Action, with out the rest is throwing your hands up in the air and saying “fine whatever!”

So the next time you find yourself in a situation and can sense it’s not being as productive as you had hoped, consider the four steps to time. Start from step 1 and see what happens if you just had time…

Make new friends, meet with like minded people and enjoy an evenings discussion on a specially selected personal development topic.

You can find out more information and reserve your place by logging on to http://www.meetup.com/actionpodcast

Places are limited! So make sure you snap one up as the event is already filling up!

I really hope to see you there!

Paul

PS. Why not bring along a friend as well? But make sure they also sign up at http://www.meetup.com/actionpodcast before it’s too late.

All these questions and more are answered in this podcast with Chris and Paul.

Failure almost seems to be another F-word! We’re unlikely to think happy or positive thoughts when we hear it.

A fear of failure can stop us in our tracks, no matter how much we want to do something; and if we’ve already reached a point of failure it can be easy to wish the whole thing never happened. As Paul jokes, sometimes we just want to sweep it under the rug, hoping others haven’t noticed – even trying to convince ourselves that it didn’t occur.

Yet failure can be one of the best teachers if we let it and start thinking about our mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than just a point of pain. Join us in exploring the fabulous art of failure!