Major congratulations to our very own ActionPodcast Ironman Chris!

He’s been able to motivate himself to take part in Ironman Cozumel and came in with an incredible time of 13 hours. An amazing achievement. You might not want to do a 3.8km swim, 180km bike ride followed by a 42.2km run (phew!) but there is probably one goal in your life you’d like to create.

Any creation outside of your comfort zone requires a few key principles of discipline, courage, persistence and perhaps an extra special meaning that gives you a deeper level of determination. Whether that’s to go after your dream job, your ideal partner or even an Ironman triathlon.

Listen to Chris and Gina discuss “the difference that makes all the difference”.

Nikola Tesla – a creator and true genius

Most of us are convinced that until we believe we can have or manifest the object of our desire, then we ain’t never gonna get it. We’re quite sure that unless we have a positive self-image, we simply can’t have what we’d love.

Recognising that most of us have worth, trust, control, capacity, powerless and not allowed to be capable beliefs, which amplify our “it’s impossible” inner editor, it can often seem an impossibility to manifest our hearts’ desires. No wonder NLP is so popular. Any modality that helps to alter state or model behaviour gives our identities a life raft of significant proportions.

And therein lies our essential conundrum as human beings: we have completely forgotten that we have an innate ability to create – at will. Whether we think we’re a stupid dumbo or we’re God’s gift to the universe. We can create despite our beliefs about ourselves. We are co-creators here on this beautiful planet. In addition to the beliefs we’ve made up about ourselves, parents and schools have also colluded in the drama. We’re told that creating involves ‘sacrifice’, that it’s ‘terribly hard work’, that it takes gargantuan talent, and it usually depends on the largesse of some unforgiving God or unseen forces. Or even worse – we have to go into a peak state and run barefoot across hot coals. Yikes! Not true, my friend.

To add insult to injury, the entire self-development industry has drummed into us that we have to have positive thoughts in order to create what we’d love. Or we just need to make a wish list or simply order in our creative desires. For some, it’s merely a case of channeling entities – a la Shirley MacLaine – who will then guide us to our land of plenty.

We’ve been held hostage by the construct that believing in our (in)ability to create what we’d love is actually more important than the creation itself. How nuts is that?

So where is your focus? On creating or on believing?

The difference between a believer and a creator
All creators have self doubts, but what sets them apart from the believers is sheer will power. A will that they recognise and exert – in spades – to help them in the creative process, despite their inner critic telling them they can’t do x, y, or z.

Do you imagine the world’s greatest inventor and creators experienced a complete lack of self-doubt? Hardly! They probably suffered more than most and were probably rejected more than most. Everyone knows the story about Edison’s gadzillion attempts to create the first incandescent light. And let’s not forget the incandescent inventor Nikola Tesla – the forgotten genius without whom the 21st century would scrabbling about in the dark on all fours (for information on this incredible man check out this link to his life and work).

Creators tend to eschew society’s paradigms on what is and isn’t possible. And what they believe about themselves or the world around them is, as Robert Fritz so eloquently puts it “irrelevant to their creative process”. Madonna, Walt Disney, JK Rowling – just a few household names who certainly weren’t full of self-confidence and charisma when they began their creative journeys.

Steve Jobs is a wonderful example of a man who inspired his team to create what was considered ‘impossible’. And his world view is what he used to motivate those around him:

Watch this Steve Jobs video: “Everything around you that you call life was made up by people no smarter than you”

Creative Tension
When we delve deeply into the creative process many synchronicities happen; we find the right website or book, we bump into the right people. Not because of our beliefs but due to some unseen higher force at work. God knows what that is (maybe just that…) but it just happens. And do we really need to know that is is?

In his magnificent book, The Path of Least Resistance, Robert Fritz who has written extensively about creativity using structural tension as key and guide. With the premise that tension always seeks resolution, his view is that:

Creating is taking action to bring into being that which does not yet exist: the desired outcome. To do this successfully doesn’t depend on beliefs or reciting endless affirmations, rather it is structural. “Clarity about the desired outcome and the actual situation establishes a structural tendency that moves the structure toward tension resolution; and strongly motivates the best actions to achieve the desired outcome.”

So where is your focus? On your desired end results, or on your made-up beliefs?

Being consciously aware of what we’ve achieved is great for our general sense of well-being and contribution, and it can also significantly boost our confidence. But in the busyness of life, it can be easy to forget, overlook or play down the extent of what we’ve achieved – and by choosing to be accountable to someone (or some thing), we give ourselves key moments to reflect on our productivity and achievement, and whether our system of prioritising is working well for us.

Join Paul and Sam as they explore some different options for adding a helpful dose of accountability into your day, and even what some of the unexpected benefits might be!

I’ve been struggling with the discovery that one of our beloved cats, Patsy, has developed a cancerous growth on her leg. We had been told that it wasn’t the type of tumor that spreads. So the prognosis was that removal of the growth would be relatively easy.

We checked Patsy into the animal hospital early January to undergo surgery that cost more than £2000, and as far as we are concerned, worth every penny. During the operation the surgeon discovered a further two “nodules”, which he also removed and sent off for analysis.

It’s now two weeks since Patsy had her operation and her recovery has been amazing. She’s back to her old bouncy self. However one of the nodules tested positive for cancerous cells – just when we thought everything was going so well. We are now left not knowing if all the tumours have been removed or if they have spread to other places in her body. So we have no idea if Patsy will be with us in 4-6 months time, or live for another 8-9 years.

Coming to terms with not knowing can be a struggle, even at the best of times. When it’s something like this it’s even harder. You don’t know whether to grieve or celebrate and nothing seems to help. We’ve realised that no matter how long the uncertainty lasts, the main priority is for us to enjoy spending time with and loving Patsy – however long she’s got. Whether it’s a few months or a few years, we are now committed to cherishing every moment with her.

No matter if your struggle is with a pet, a loved one, a job or any situation where coming to terms with “making the most of it” is tough. We all deal with things differently. But allowing yourself to go through some sort of grieving process is incredibly healing.

Talking about the situation with friends and family is absolutely key. Getting plenty of rest is also vital, as it’s astounding how draining this kind of emotional turmoil can be! Don’t be afraid to cry, with others or even on your own. Tears are an excellent way to release pent up emotions. Finally making a vow to “do the best you can” is always a good mindset.

If you died tomorrow – what would people say about you, and your life? What would you want them to say?

Instead of waiting until it is arguably too late and face the top 5 common regrets (see the article below), contemplating the question of our own mortality can actually be very motivating.

Sam & Gina discuss how their own experiences have helped shape their lives and their actions, and take a light-hearted look at the fact that we don’t ever know when our ‘time’ will come. What would you be inspired to do if you realised you’d regret never having done it?

Click here to see the topic suggestion Rob shared on Facebook, and the article that inspired it.

The types of things we are willing to spend more money on will vary for each of us (e.g. think gadgets, clothes, car, or entertainment), and this is based on more than just the retail value of the product or service.

For the next 30 seconds, think about the main things you spend the most money on and write a short list. You should be able to come up with 3-5 things pretty easily. Include things that you may not purchase very frequently, but that you spend a fair bit on when you do.

I really encourage you to record them in some way – because there’s a lot this list can tell you!

Dr John Demartini talks about the correlation between what we spend our money on, and what our values are.

For example, I spend quite a bit on cat food/health/wellbeing – which suggests (correctly) that I value my kitties very highly. If you spend a large portion of your income on your accommodation, then that might suggest that anything from security, to location or personal space are top priorities for you. And if holidays are a big annual spend, then that will indicate another of your top values – depending on what a holiday means most to you  (it could be about escape, relaxation, adventure, exploration etc).

So you can start to see some of the insights about what is important to you, and also use it to sanity-check a purchase… “Will this xyz honour the value that I’m buying it for?”

I was also struck by a particular appeal while watching the TEDx video that Gina shared with us a few weeks ago; Adam Baker encouraged us to:

“Start collecting experiences, not things.”

And as I was pondering this today, I realised it provided another clue based on what we spend our money on.

My list looks something like this (in no particular order):

• Cats
• Travel (to Australia, for courses/business)
• Dining out
• Books

And if I add one or two things that seem slightly disproportionate to the rest of my spending, then Starbucks and fine wine probably deserve a place too.

I was quite surprised to find that all of these were actually more about the experiences they give me, than the actual purchases themselves. Travel grants me access to my family, friends and development opportunities. Books give me experiences of escape and learning. Dining out and fine wine give me experiences that anchor me in the moment – I love savouring a mouthful of culinary magic, or the complexity of an aged red (not to mention the usually fine company!). And I confess, Starbucks gives me a whole host of experiences – comfort, belonging, social interaction, a creative environment.

So whilst I do still spend money on other “stuff” – a greater amount of my spending is done on things that I deem to give me valuable experiences.

And it can get even more interesting when we discover that our spending habits highlight values we may not have recognised as top priorities in our lives! Our values heavily influence our decisions – whether we are aware of them or not!

I was pretty surprised to consider the amount I spent on health & wellbeing last year… I certainly valued recovery from injury (mobility, independence, relief from pain) pretty highly!

We can also look at things we dislike or resent spending money on, for clues as to what might fall nearer the bottom of our values list. Whilst there might be some usual suspects, are there any that surprise you?

Perhaps next time you take out your cash or plastic – you might take a moment to think about which value the purchase is affirming for you.

Is it giving you a valuable experience, or is it just more stuff?

Gina and Paul talk about overcoming hurdles to achieve things that were out of their own comfort zones. With the support of others and a little practice, it’s amazing how much you can achieve. The impossible becomes reality.

Finding the freedom to do what you want is always a challenge. Your inner voice does its best to try and put you off doing anything new. By externalising your fears, either by talking about them to others, or even by sending a simple text message as we mentioned in the show, you can turn down that voice to a quiet whisper and allow yourself to focus on just doing what you first thought would never be possible.

What is the point of making new year’s resolutions, intentions, or ambitions for you?

Are they to achieve something important? To acquire new accolades? Or simply to gain material things that add to the joy of life?

As an avid goal setter for 10 years now (…in fact, the date of my first entry in the notebook where I write my goals is January 2, 2002. Exactly ten years ago), I’ve set my share of grand ambitions and planned for smaller pleasures.

I’ve covered the range from traveling to far away places, experiencing some of the world’s most fascinating events, and learning new skills to advance my career, health, finances and relationships.

When I look back on my list, there is a strong theme of ‘accomplishment’. I wanted to accomplish things and experience stuff and by-and-large, I did just that.

Yet along my journey my perspective has changed.

I’m in a much different place in my life now than I was ten years ago, let alone 3 years ago when I was a marketing career man working 50-60hrs a week while trying to do it all. However, I’m still as ambitious as ever and my list of goals continues to grow.

But I’ve realised there is a more important purpose to my plans.

I believe there is a very important ingredient to successfully achieving your dreams that is usually forgotten and often unknown. And that is this:

We don’t set goals for what they give us, we set goals in order to become the person we need to become in order to live the life that we want.

You might want to read that statement again.

Who do you need to become this year to achieve your goals?

• A person of stronger faith and conviction for what you believe in?
• A person of deeper courage to face your challenges and succeed?
• A person with a bigger purpose and daily motivation to blast through any setbacks and barriers?
• A person that inspires others to raise their standards?
• A leader by example and a person of your word?

For all of your exciting or scary plans for the year ahead, I encourage you to add this dimension to your plan of attack.

If you haven’t written down your goals for 2012 yet, then do so this week.

And along side those goals, try to identify who you would need to become in order for that to become a reality. What part of your inborn courage, strength, love, compassion, resiliency, enthusiasm, creativity and ambition needs to shine? What elements of your personality need to drive your decisions and actions? What inside of you needs to determine your daily behaviour?

Who will you become in 2012?

Leave us a comment and share how you would like to grow this year. How can we help you?

Not the best way to engage and make positive emotional connections! It simply makes the other person shut down. Sam and Gina discuss the J-word vis-a-vis their own relationships. And offer 3 helpful tips on how we can check in on our own behaviour – and make powerful adjustments – before we start projecting and blaming others. 

Do you buy things you don’t really need – upgrading whenever a new and better version appears?

Are you in debt as a result of buying more and more ‘stuff’?

Do you feel trapped in a job you hate, just because you need the money to pay off the debt you’ve incurred by accumulating?

If you’ve answered ‘yes!’ to just a few of these questions, then you’ll appreciate this short inspiring TED talk from Adam Baker.

So, instead of purgatory, why not go for what you LOVE instead? Paul and Gina discuss the fine art of creation… and the 3 fundamental aspects of creativity: germination, assimilation and creation.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY CREATING WHAT YOU LOVE

So the end of 2011 is almost here, many people may be tempted to make some New Years Resolutions, but we all know how well they work, don’t we? But it still a great time to turn over a new leaf, so to speak. So how about making the decision to start the new year with some new healthy habits of success instead?

Stephen Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people is a great place to start for some good examples. Wiki-pedia has a great summary of them, which will save you a lot of reading! Here is a quick run through to get you going:-

The 7 Habits

• Habit 1: Be Proactive, Synopsis: Take initiative in life by realizing that your decisions. Take responsibility for your choices and the subsequent consequences that follow.
• Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind, Synopsis: Self-discover and clarify your deeply important character values and life goals.
• Habit 3: Put First Things First, Synopsis: Plan, prioritize, and execute your week’s tasks based on importance rather than urgency.
• Habit 4: Think Win-Win, Synopsis: Genuinely strive for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships.
• Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, Synopsis: Use empathetic listening to be genuinely influenced by a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you.
• Habit 6: Synergies, Synopsis: Get the best performance out of a group of people through encouraging meaningful contribution, and modeling inspirational and supportive leadership.
• Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw, Synopsis: Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle.

So now I’ve saved you several hours of reading, you have all the information you need to start making some changes ready for 2012. Now it just leaves me to say, I hope you have a wonderful New Year and that 2012 is the year all your dreams come true. Remember ActionPodcast would love to help you achieve those dreams so just let us know if there is anything we can do to help!

Cheers!

We talk about the comments we received from our listeners always make our day, so when we get them we really are delighted.

Also what podcast topics or blog posts have made us as ActionPodcast coaches sit up and really take on board what some one the others have said. Even though we talk about personal development all the time, and coach clients, we still find there are things we can learn from the other coaches.

Looking forward to the year ahead we reveal what we wish for in 2012.

*NEW* We now have a free App in the Android Market Place and the Apple App Store. The app lets you listen to podcasts directly without having to download them on to your PC or Mac first. You can get access to all the latest podcasts, the top ten, recent articles, all our twitter feeds and a lot more! Just go to the App Store on your phone or tablet and search for “ActionPodcast” all one word. Or just click the buttons below.

ActionPodcast App now available from:

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted—Aesop

Two things have struck a chord within me in the last 24 hours…

The first is the quote to the right, which was in a newsletter sent out by my coach Jennie (you can read some of her Tips here). The second was a sentiment expressed by my colleague – that “volunteering and supporting our community is essential throughout the year. It’s not just for Christmas!”

And as I look forward to celebrating Christmas day with some dear friends, and sharing the festive spirit with my loved ones, it makes me wonder whether my acts of kindness sometimes come with strings attached…

Whilst our motivations for doing something to help someone might come from a genuine place, do we hold expectations of how our kindness will be received?

I gave an early gift to a friend in need, so that she could feel reassured that there would be food on her table at Christmas. My intention was genuine, yet I felt disappointed with her reaction. I was so excited about doing something caring for her that I didn’t stop to think that she may not feel in the mood for celebrating in the midst of all her stress.

How misplaced my disappointment was!

We are often more compelled to charity and being of service to those less fortunate at this time of year. Yet our help is needed out of the festive season just as much.

And I can’t help but feel hypocritical when I’m forced to throw out wasted food, left over from too many big Christmas meals, when there are many who don’t have enough.

So these things have caused me to reassess how I think about and share kindness.

I’m going to make sure my friend knows I’m there if she needs me, and will call on Christmas morning to help brighten her day. I’m going to make a concerted effort to finish off leftovers before going out to buy more food. And I’m going to find a couple of ways I can spread some kindness in my local community – now, as a starting point, and in a way I can regularly sustain.

What gifts of kindness will you give this season?

One of the simplest acts of kindness is a smile – given freely, regardless of whether it is returned!

Best wishes for a warm & magical festive season, and a healthy & happy new year to you all!

With just one week to go the festive period is already in full swing. Now is your change to blow everything that you’ve worked so hard for over the last year……..

Well of course that’s what everyone is saying to each other to justify the over eating, drinking, late nights and everything that comes with the holiday.

Now at ActionPodcast, we certainly don’t want you to think we are total kill-joys, but it would be great if you recognised that you do have a choice.

During this podcast Paul and Chris give some amazing tips that make it really easy to have a fantastic Christmas, without the repercussions.

*NEW* We now have a free App in the Android Market Place and the Apple App Store. The app lets you listen to podcasts directly without having to download them on to your PC or Mac first. You can get access to all the latest podcasts, the top ten, recent articles, all our twitter feeds and a lot more! Just go to the App Store on your phone or tablet and search for “ActionPodcast” all one word. Or just click the buttons below.

ActionPodcast App now available from:

It may be arbitrary but the turn of a new year is a perfect opportunity to set a plan for what you want to experience, create, have and do over the next 12 months.

Part of what spurns us on to thinking about our future is the middle of December to early January, for most, is a time where we have time less time at work and spend more time with friends and family. This end of year cycle is a perfect catalyst for reconnecting with what matters most.

But knowing what matters (or what you want to achieve) and making it so are wildly different things.

Having spent a huge portion of my adult life investigating what makes the difference between ‘those who achieve what they want’ and ‘those who try but don’t, or don’t really try at all’, I’ve learnt that 99% of the time it comes down to five factors.

Five factors that are within your control.

1. Clarity

It’s near impossible to succeed when you don’t know what success looks like for you. Most people — not a general statement but a quantifiable one from surveying hundreds of people — have a loose, or vague, or ill-defined outcome they are working so hard for. Check this with yourself: What are you currently working so hard for, putting in lots of time and energy? Do you know what specifically you want to have or feel when you’re done?

Pick one goal or dream or intention you want in your life in 2012 and spend focused time on getting clear and specific on what that final outcome looks like, feels like or does for you.

Clarity is an essential starting point.

2. Conviction and Motivation

Let’s face it, with all the demands in our lives today it is incredibly challenging to stay on track with what you want and not get pulled in dozens of directions from distractions and other people’s requests. That’s life! And it’s your job to keep your most important things front and centre in your life.

Yet even when it’s on our to do list we still need conviction to put in the day-to-day investment – sometimes baby steps and other times giant leaps of faith – to keep working at it.

For your main goals in 2012, strengthen your motivation to make consistent progress. Get clear on WHY you want to do this. Summarise all the benefits you — and those around you — will gain from achieving this goal and reflect on that list on a very regular basis.

3. A plan for inaction

If you’re clear and inspired to take action you still need a plan to get it done. However, you also need to prepare how you’ll respond when things don’t go your way, when you get sidetracked or disillusioned at your results along the way. How will you respond to setbacks? How will you get yourself out of a rut of frustration, procrastination or overwhelm?

Successful goal achievement is not just about taking action but it’s mostly about how to overcome the hurdles along the way.

Here are three sentences worth completing when you sit down and design your action steps:

If I get frustrated with lack of progress, in order to keep going or find a better way I will….

If I find days or weeks passing by without taking any action towards my goals, I can get back on track by….

If I’m really stuck and not sure where to begin, or am overwhelmed by everything I need to do, I can ease my way forward by…

4. Habits of Success

As Aristotle noted long, long ago, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit”. Our day-to-day behaviour is largely driven by our habits.

Habits of behaviour, thoughts and feelings. For example, do you have habits that build physical health or erode it? What is your ritual the first moment you turn on your computer at the start of the day – productive work or guilty pleasures?

Your success in the next year is a direct reflection of the balance sheet of your habits — those that serve you in achieving your goals and those that prevent you from getting closer to them.

What habits will you need to create for your big goals? Which habits do you need to eliminate in order to make consistent (and enjoyable) steps towards living the life you want?

5. Be open and seek support from others

You’re not always going to have the answers, the willpower or the energy necessary to take action. No great things are achieved in isolation.

Collaborate with others on solving the problems in your way. Find a quick tip via Google. Get a coach or mentor to help you to navigate to your end destination. Join a like-minded online community to gain ideas and a network of enthusiastic supporters.

For all of your goals, identify a Top 3 list of people, tools or resources you can tap into when you’re stuck or when you simply start to feel your motivation fade. Nip it in the bud and get back on track!

This is where the magic happens. If you fail to address these Big Five you’re likely headed for a year of missed opportunity, frustration or regret. So give yourself the gift of spending quality time thinking – and writing – through all of these. It’s a wonderful way to kick start your year with optimism and vibrancy.

You’ll be hearing a lot more from ActionPodcast on these points in 2012 and we look forward to helping you achieve fun and rewarding success throughout the year.

No Regrets...

This is a time of the year when our thoughts turn reflective as we look back at the year we’ve had.

Can you say there’s nothing you regret?

Chris and Sam reckon it’s not too late to turn things around – whether it is something that didn’t happen or something that didn’t turn out as you’d hoped. Pick one thing you’d like to either resolve or at least progress a little, before the year is out. (We help out with some relationship examples). The more emotionally charged the better!

A baby step could see you dissolving a regret, freeing up some emotional energy or creating a stronger foundation to move forward from in 2012.

Make a real difference to this year and your relationships this week!

This podcast helps you beat the burnout with 5 top tips.

The run-up to Christmas is an especially fraught time – especially for many female executives who are also juggling a family, parents and husbands/partners! Paul and Gina discuss simple ways you can take stock of your work and home life, and take immediate action to avoid meltdown in the pre- and post-holiday period.

The most obvious symptom of burnout is often exhaustion—a fatigue you just can’t kick, even by taking a few days off. But there’s more to it than just being tired. You may even experience a loss of enthusiasm that often results in your doing the bare minimum, as well as a loss of faith in your abilities.  You may be short-tempered and even overreact to minor things. No matter what you do, you can’t get all of it done well. You could actually start making more mistakes than usual or begin allow things to fall through the cracks.

Listen to this podcast for some great instant tips to help you beat burnout!

A FABULOUS QUOTE, which is equally attributable to us women of course! Yet when Tennyson penned his immortal lines, the fairer sex were not supposed to show outward, public signs of lust and longing. To make up for this, there was feverish letter writing, many an attack of the vapours (probably due to tight corsetry), and many a hushed chaperoned visit with the object of one’s desire.  There was no word for sex when Tennyson wrote this either, so the word ‘love’ encompassed the whole gamut of heart/mind/body attraction.

Love – a hurricane of enmeshed chemical attraction and neuroses? Or a soul’s recognition of someone we’ve most certainly met before – albeit in another form. Probably a bit of both. The feeling is certainly visceral enough…

For those of you lucky enough to have experienced love, it also means you’ve been bitten by love’s little flip side – pain. Yes the ‘ouch’ factor is one of the great trade-offs when we open our hearts to love someone – and receive in return. And it’s a price most of us are prepared to pay and a risk we want to take. But how do we keep our hearts open after we’ve been hurt? This is the secret – keeping ourselves open to giving and receiving love when all we want to do is curl up somewhere and never come out. Scary world. Scary people. Nope, never giving my heart to anyone again. Know the feeling?

As a result, we all too often retreat for safety into our heads and remain intellectually bound – cutting off from our feelings and emotions. Stymied. Not a good idea. Why? Because we actually cut ourselves off from receiving love – from any direction. Painful – and not a good strategy for success and emotional well being.

So what’s the cure when you’ve been bitten by the after-love bug? How can we possibly keep our hearts open when we’ve been hurt?

Here are some ways that have worked for me, at times when my heart has felt broken and I have lost trust in the world and the people who were once close to me, but have betrayed my trust. Hope you find them helpful too. P.S. the heart does heal… You will love again.

1. Often we feel shattered because we are grieving for a future that will never be realised. We’ve spent so much time imagining how life will be with this person in the FUTURE – we’ve totally forgotten to take it all day by day. Practise taking just one day at a time. In your own personal life as well as with others. Stay fully present. Neither dwelling on the past nor projecting yourself into the future. Both are escape mechanisms.

2. Forgive. Yourself primarily, then others. Harder said than done, but it does work. It means that events and people no longer have a hold over you and make you a perennial victim. It also takes a lot of energy constantly ruminating on what might have been, what you could/should have done. It’s past. Let it go.

3. Focus on all the good things in your life right now. From basics such as the fact you still have a job, a roof over your head, to all the loving friends and family who are there to support you. And good health, if you have that too then you are truly blessed.

4. Develop a state of optimism. Trust that good things will come to you. Be open to wherever and whomever they come from.

5. Acknowledge your emotions and let them out. Don’t suppress them. Crying is good – yes guys – for you too!

6. Understand that you control your thoughts. And your thoughts dictate what happens to you in life. If you dwell on the negative that’s exactly what you’ll attract. Only YOU have the power to make yourself happy. People come and go, but if you focus on establishing a closer relationships with yourself, you will rarely feel lonely.

7. Stay in the present. Every time you start looking back and feel sad, gently find ways to bring your thoughts back into the present.

Photo: christiancoachingcenter.org

Don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or topic suggestions.

I celebrate my own style of Thanksgiving every Monday morning. That can be pretty hard some Mondays I can tell you! But I have to admit, once I get into the swing of things it’s actually pretty easy an very rewarding.

So what is Thanksgiving Monday? Well as part of my Morning Pages, I have a segment at the start that I do just on Monday mornings. I write a short paragraph of things that I’ve truly grateful for. It varies each time, sometimes it’s something basic like my health, other times it can be something much come complex and personal. I’ve ben doing this for several weeks now since I read about it in a book I’ve been reading called :59 Seconds by Richard Wiseman. It’s a technique he recommends to increase happiness in your life. I must admit I was a little doubtful at first but following his guide I thought I’ll give it a go. He recommends similar things on the other days of the week, but the Monday Thanksgiving has been the most powerful for me.

It’s been so many different things to experience writing down what I’m thankful for, it’s actually quite hard to put into words. But I can safely say that it’s one of the most inspiring and uplifting things I’ve done in a very long time.

So if you are celebrating tomorrow I hope you have a truly wonderful time, but come next week when the party has all too soon become a hazy distant memory, start your own weekly thanksgiving ritual.

Do you find yourself taking care of a lot of fairly small, quite inconsequential things when there is a really big issue that trying to get your attention?

A difficult conversation, situation or an old issue that knocks your confidence?

We all do it at times and in this podcast, Chris and Paul discuss WHY this happens and more importantly, what you can DO to face the ‘elephant in your room’ with greater ease, confident and success than you’re currently imagining.

We’d love to hear your experiene on how you’ve been able to overcome those big challenging situations so please leave a comment on this page.

Wiki Entry:-

“Elephant in the room” is an English metaphorical idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.^[1]

I’d hope you were at least curious… I’d even welcome scepticism!

And I would definitely want to share it with you – because it has personally helped me so much that I feel it is one of the most valuable tools you can have in your daily toolkit.

So, what is this mystery skill? It is called EFT, or emotional freedom technique.

It is simple to use, quick to learn and can be applied to almost any situation or issue.

You may have heard of acupuncture or acupressure, which stimulate the body’s energy system by applying needles or pressure to key points (or meridians) along the body’s energy channels. EFT works similarly through gentle tapping on the meridians making it less invasive – and is sometimes referred to as “psychological acupressure”.

I am very grateful that I was introduced to it about 12 years ago by two Aussie masters (thanks guys!) who have contributed some brilliant variations of the technique and helped make it more accessible.

If you want more info on the history of the technique or mechanics of it first, I’ve recorded a short audio extract giving an overview of what it is and why it should be used; and for more details including videos and research studies, EFT Downunder is a great place to start.

But if you are keen to dive straight in, a key resource that can help you start using this amazing technique immediately is Brad Yates’ YouTube Channel – which has ~200 short videos on different issues you can apply EFT to, so that you can easily follow along with his tapping.

EFT has reduced my arachnophobia responses from hysterical (off-the-scales) to a point where I was recently able to get a beer glass over a spider that was bigger than my palm; so imagine what it could do for you!

I’ve decided to try something new too, and have created a special video* (below) – to accompany this blog post making it even easier for you to get started. Plus, I’ve got a couple of great action challenges for you to try:

• Each day for a week, pick one of Brad Yates’ videos and tap along to it. Use the same video or a range of different ones, and just pay attention to whether anything changes and how you feel.
• Or, try either the Karate Chop or Finger Sequence (SET) that I share in my video for one day – using it for one minute every hour or any time you’re a bit stressed – and just notice how you feel.

Now remember – you don’t need to be convinced that it will work. I find it even more amazing because it can help you in everyday life no matter whether you believe it will work or not! Just put it into action for a day or a week and see what happens!

It might take a bit of time before it becomes your default response to a stressful or emotional situation, but it doesn’t take much for it to provide lasting relief.

Share with us whether you’ve taken up one of my challenges, and what your experience was like : do you remain a sceptic or have you just discovered a technique that could change your life?

* I was even able to use these unobtrusive tapping tools to cope with an intensely emotional funeral this week too.

Learning to recognise your successes so far can really help change your perspective on your current situation. By acknowledging the good things that you have achieved recently will make a dramatic difference because moving forward from a great place is far easier than trying to escape a negative rut that you may believe you are in.

These often unpleasant and uncomfortable parts of our life can attract a lot of our attention. They can absorb a lot of our energy and take us away from other things that are more rewarding, important and fulfilling.

Perhaps recently you’ve been spending an extraordinary amount of your time on a problem.

How can you tell if it’s just a symptom you’ve been focusing on?

But what if the attention you’re giving it is misguided?

What if your energy is being wasted?

What if the solution you’re after can’t be found where you’re looking.

What if the problem you see isn’t the problem after all?

One of the great skills of excellent problem solvers is being able to properly identify, and put their focus on, the RIGHT PROBLEM.

More specifically, it’s the ability to separate the symptoms from the cause.

I’m talking about being skilled at identifying the ROOT PROBLEM (or the root of the problem).

When you can identify the root of the issue – the source of all the troublesome symptoms that are showing up – you set yourself up for quicker, easier and more effective solutions.

How can you tell if it’s just a symptom you’ve been focusing on?

One clue is that symptoms often show up as the behaviour. For example, you do something that you’re not pleased with (….like skipping exercise or eating junk), or a colleague is regularly irritable or late for meetings.

What you see is the behaviour yet the root cause of the bad behaviour is usually underlying emotions or thoughts such as fear, anxiety, or habit that’s developed over time to name just a few.

A second clue is the problem keeps recurring. This means something that never seems to be resolved such as a body ache that won’t go away, or an ongoing argument with your spouse. If it is a recurring issue, you’ve likely been addressing the symptoms, not the root.

The next time you find yourself needing to deal with a problem, approach it with a different perspective than you have in the past. Or if you’re currently in the middle of a troubling situation, try to separate the symptoms from the root cause.

Get curious on whether what you THINK is the problem, is the real problem.

Question whether there is something more fundamental underlying the behaviour that you witness.

The more you do this to begin with, the greater your skill will become at developing lasting solutions in less time with less effort.

And then you’ll have more energy to put into the things that really matter and fulfill you.

Do you have a problem you’re currently facing? How has this changed your approach. How can we help you identify a new solution? Leave us a comment and let us know.

What’s harder is seeing the obstacles that lie within us.

In this podcast, Chris and Paul discuss one of the things we do that can delay our progress and ultimately, our success. We’re all guilty at times and this podcast can help you see it – and eliminate it – quickly, so you can experience the success you deserve, sooner than you would otherwise.

In this podcast Paul and Chris discuss their simple strategies for maximising the use of their time, with emphasis on the process of planning. If you are looking to improve your effectiveness, get more done or simply live less stressful days, one of these tips might just be the breakthrough you are seeking.

Let us know which tip you’d like to try and any questions you’d like us to answer by leaving a comment below.

At the beginning you feel like you’ve thought everything through and you’re really motivated to get going. Everything seems to be going great! Your plans have paid off and your journey towards your goal couldn’t seem easier.

So… why do you begin to slip?

Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity.

You find yourself missing the odd gym session, and not being quite as organised. Whatever it is, you can feel yourself slipping back into your old ways. Unless something happens to get you back on track, your goals seem to fade into obscurity and before you know it, weeks have passed since you did anything you initially planned so hard for.

Often you can come up with a whole host of reasons why things faded away. But it always boils down to one thing:

Being accountable for your own actions gets harder

More important than what happens, is how and why it happens. There can be a whole host of reasons:

• You don’t feel you are progressing fast enough, so things get boring
• You find the going gets tough and other things seem to keep getting in the way, so you start to let them
• You aren’t sure you even want this goal anymore. You find it hard to remember why you thought this was a good idea!

I’m sure you can think of lots of other reasons, but the great news is that the solution is always the same.

GET ACCOUNTABLE!

If any of the above sounds familiar to you, then now is the moment to change it. Get someone else to hold you accountable to your own goals. Share with them your reasons for wanting them in the first place. Other people seem to have an amazing memory for repeating your own words back at you! If you feel things start to get tough, tell someone, ask for help, advise, tips, tricks, anything to help you get over your current hurdle. Finally, give them permission to check in on you once in a while to see how things are going.

You can even ask me to personally help you with this. Just drop me an email with what it is you are trying to achieve. I’ll help you keep that motivation bubbling along. An even more effective method, is for you to post your goal, plan and any expected hurdles here in the comments below, or on our Facebook page.

So there you have it, Email / Comment  or Facebook. Choose whichever one feels it will be the most effective for you. Let us, help you.

Recently Paul challenged Chris and Sam to record a 1 minute video each day. As this wasn’t something we do frequently, it was a great way for us to test the waters and see what resistance our inner voice can come up with (Note from Paul: “sometimes I like to think of it as my inner ‘jerk’!”).

It’s truly amazing how resistant you can become to trying something new, and yet once you actually get into the swing of it, you begin to wonder why as it seems so simple and natural.

During this podcast Paul and Chris talk about some of the ways you can challenge yourself, and if you listen right to the very end, you can also challenge the presenters themselves!

Both of these positions can be thought of as emotional states that we ‘go to’ in certain circumstances.

The person I was speaking with recognised that he had been behaving somewhat selfishly in his relationship with his family.

I posed the question: Was being selfish in that situation a bad thing?

With a moment of reflection he felt it wasn’t. As he explained the context, I agreed.

It wasn’t bad, but was it good?

There is no doubt that acting selfishly – at times – serves a purpose.

It allows us to create boundaries around us when others are too demanding of our time or attention (think: a busy office environment where it’s hard to focus). It enables us to return to what is most important to us. It can also provide us with valuable time away from a sticky situation and give us the space to reflect and come up with better answers to the problems.

And yet, I would argue that being selfish is not sustainable. It does not lead to sustainable happiness, fulfilment and rewarding relationships.

We all go there at times, but how often do you do it? And how long do you spend there? Do you pass the point where even you feel it isn’t helpful?

The more people I have the privilege of helping and coaching, and the more I discover in this field of personal growth and development, the more I see that we humans rarely give ourselves enough credit of the control we have over our emotional state.

We have an innate skill to make a shift. We have the power to do that quickly. We have the ability to choose and decide how we respond to any situation.

Are there times where you have been a little bit too selfish lately?

Or perhaps, looking at it from another angle, how could your life benefit from being more selfless? More giving of your time, your attention, your presence, your love or your laughter.

Who do you know that would really really appreciate some of your generosity right now?

Who could you be more compassionate to this week? A friend? A partner? A stranger?

Who could you be more forgiving to before the end of this year?

You may find that being more selfless in one area is just the remedy you need to reduce your indulgence in being selfish in other parts of your life.

It’s a skill we all have.

And we should always remember that the more we practice, the stronger the skill becomes, enabling us to be more of the person we want to be.

Leave a comment and let us know how you’ve been able to make that shift and what you or others gained from it. We’d love to hear from you and your experience can help others.

Whether it be a relationship that’s no longer working, or a job that you want to leave, now is a very natural time of year to let go.

During this podcast Gina and Paul discuss the two phases of letting go. Firstly, identifying situations where it’s appropriate to let go. Secondly managing the results of implementing the change and gaining support through what can be a very difficult time.

The anxiety producing “If only… you’d taken that job, married that person, moved countries, bought that flat, had different parents, gone to a different college, taken less drugs, taken more drugs, had more fun, travelled more, had children, not had children…

Ego, ergo
This ego-inspired reasoning, which keeps us in a state of disempowerment and impotence is endless. And endlessly demotivating. And it lures us away from the immense power of being fully conscious and fully present.
Right here, right now.

Future
Or perhaps like many of us, you prefer to focus on the future to avoid feeling any present pain. Or taking action to move out of your current unease. The “What if…. line of anxiety producing self-enquiry… What if…. I get made redundant, make the wrong decision, my boyfriend/girlfriend leaves me, choose the wrong job, it all goes terribly wrong, lose all my money, feel lonely, etc. Projecting our fear into future events, which have yet to happen.

Resistance
We all, myself very much included, have constructed myriad ways of resisting the present moment. The Right Here. Right Now. The mind, ego, whatever you want to call it, invariably takes us away from true consciousness. It feeds off and promotes our fear. Controlling and self-denying, it loves the whip hand. And until we take charge of our thoughts, the CD of self-sabotage will continue to play into the sunset… like an interminable Groundhog Day (without the humour!).

Why do we avoid feeling present?
If you are a human being – and I’m assuming most of you reading this are of that persuasion – then you’ll probably find yourself taking more action to avoid pain, than taking positive action towards experiencing pleasure in life. Think about it. Sex addiction, work addiction, drug addiction – we self-medicate and self-anaesthetise to suppress painful emotions and feelings. But of course they simply go underground, emerging at inappropriate moments with the result that we often self-sabotage – in work and our personal life – the very relationships we hold most dear. Or we simply never invite them in in the first place. We avoid ‘being’.

Observe your emotions
One way I work with clients is to encourage them to feel their emotions. Not deny them. Look at the very word ‘emotion’. Motion = movement. They are simply passing through. They are not OF you. By refusing to identify with the emotions, but by simply observing them as they move through, you will become less addicted to checking out. There are many ways of staying present, with presence. The most powerful way is to focus on your breath. Put all your attention on your in – and your out breath. Practise this daily for at least 5 minutes at a time. Then any time you feel overwhelmed by emotions and feel yourself checking out, use this technique to change your state. It’s the best way to be fully present. And surrender to the moment.

Ground yourself
Another way is to stay in your body – preferably 24/7. Use grounding exercises such as imagining heavy cords reaching from the soles of both feet down into the ground. As far as the earth’s core. Tie these cords or vines around large boulders. Then draw up that fabulous fire energy from the earth’s molten core. Visualise that energising orange, brown, red colour rising up your feet, ankles, and legs until it fills your whole body. You will feel energised and more powerfully in your body.

Pay attention
Give your full attention to whatever you are doing. Whether it’s watching soapsuds on a glass you’re washing up, to watching the trees on your way to work, to totally focusing on your work. Practise right here. Right now.

Give yourself permission to be increasingly creative… Write a stream of consciousness page every morning as soon as you get up. Start painting, drawing, learn a musical instrument… move your consciousness from your left to your right brain. The source of all inspiration. Play! Play! Play! Run around a field, scream and shout. Allow your inner child expression and let go! Laugh – and above all, don’t take yourself too seriously.

Results
Being fully present will enable you to draw on unlimited inspiration. You will be able to deal with your emotions in a constructive way, instead of diving in and becoming overwhelmed by them. Unfettered by the past or future, you will access all the energy, self-awareness and clarity you need for peace of mind and a more creative and fulfilling life. Enjoy your presence!

So far it’s pretty quiet in there, but what I have found are a few people taking the most amazing pictures of the city I live in, London. I kept seeing them and being blown away by the powerful images of the most ordinary things. Just seeing how the view of a lamp, rooftop, or looking up at a skyscraper seemed to hold a new beauty.

I see many of the things that people are photographing, almost every day. But there was something about these pictures that inspired me. So I started taking my own photos. If I found myself spotting something that made me notice it, I would stop, think about what it was that I was drawn to and then try to capture that essence. I wasn’t trying to take a snapshot, I wanted to point out the one thing that drew me in. Often this would actually be the clouds behind the scene I was looking at. There is something very unique about the clouds in the UK. So you’ll see in many of my pictures that clouds feature prominently.

What I found the most interesting was when I found something that really moved me, it would more often than not, move others. It was like I had suddenly tapped into a new connection, not only with myself, but the others around me.

One comment that really interested me was “I wish I could take pictures like that!” to which I replied, “You can! Just take lots of pictures of things that move you and post the best ones.”

He now goes for walks with his children, with one specific reason. To find things of beauty and capture them on his mobile phone.

Join me on Google+ and share what moves you, too.

Sun Rise over Tower Bridge

Unable to complete tasks due to outside forces?

Chris and Gina discuss ways in which we invite distractions (often without realising it) into our lives and the impact this has personally and professionally.

Find out how you can acknowledge your distractions and take practical steps to minimise their impact.

What if that kindness made someone else happy too?

And what if that happiness was contagious – so that one small act of kindness could spread happiness not just to 2 people, but to the friends of friends of both those people? How cool would that be?!

Research shows that happiness IS contagious. It is also a skill that can be learnt, and is not set in stone by genetics or upbringing.

Happiness is hard to define, but one thing it is not is a final destination to be arrived at. It is something we all seek continuously, yet we don’t always achieve; and there are times when we can feel decidedly unhappy.

Maybe it is because we are looking in the wrong places. Or maybe we’re just focusing on the wrong things…

This was what I was contemplating as Mark Williamson spoke as part of a session entitled The Happiness Factor at the British Science Festival in Bradford last week. Mark was speaking in his capacity as the Director of Action for Happiness, and if I was excited about his talk – I was delighted to discover the website!

And as my act of kindness today I wanted to share it with you all.

Earlier this morning I would have said I was feeling unhappy – I wasn’t even sure I could write a blog post, let alone an inspiring one. But after exploring the Action for Happiness site, it is funny how my mood has changed!

At ActionPodcast we believe we always have a choice about our reactions, and we believe that small actions can lead to significant results. But even for us it can be easy to forget at times.

So I love that Action for Happiness blends passion and purpose; action steps with inspiration; science with community. I encourage you to explore the 10 Keys to Happier Living, watch some of the short videos and choose one action to take within the next 24 hours.

Let’s be part of a happiness virus – it is a great gift to ourselves as well as to share!

Helena created the Three-Word Check-In as part of her process of facilitating brilliance within her clients, and when Sam learnt of it her curiosity was piqued… Helena and Sam started sharing their daily words with each other, and realised how empowering and supportive it was – and that they couldn’t keep it to themselves!

Find out why three words can change the course of your day, and how to make the most of this simple yet profound technique!

The one question that stood out for me provided a simple but profound insight into how I should approach my life now, to prevent me from having the same regret after experiencing more than 80% of my life.

The question was this: When you look back on the life that you’ve lived, what is your greatest regret?

What do YOU think was the #1 answer across the large survey?

I posed this question to a group of business executives I was training this week. After a few days of helping this group to get clearer on their priorities and to reconnect with what they value most, their guesses were perfectly reasonable.

“Didn’t spend enough time with the ones they loved?” one suggested. A logical thought from a 21st century executive.

“Didn’t do what they were passionate about?” another chimed in. Close but not exactly.

“Worked too hard and didn’t stop to enjoy life?” a third pondered. Nope.

According to this research, the number 1 regret – the greatest regret – of those who have lived a lot of life was…

“Not taking more risks.”

That really got me thinking about how I should start living.

I trusted the research and I trusted that made a lot of sense.

And I didn’t want to have the same answer when I get called by a researcher in 2051.

So, what lessons can we take and how can we avoid having the same regret?

Here is what I did and what you can do too:

1.    Trust that you can handle it.

The risk is rarely in the action but rather in our perception of what might happen afterwards to us. Our imagination spins wild tales of embarrasment, misfortune and utter catastrophe.

But we are greater than our problems. We can handle any short-term setback that might arise while we are pursuing something that really matters to us, following our dreams and opening our heart.

2.    Make sure you’re ‘What If…” scenarios genuinely consider both sides

What if I fail?  Hmmm….what if I succeed?

What if they laugh at me? Hmmm….what if they love me?

What if I hate it?  Hmmm….what if I adore it….and if not, I can always do something else…

What if I get too scared?  Hmmm….what if I find I have more courage, determination, persistence and passion than I thought I did

Our instinct is to protect and keep us safe. Follow point number 1 and allow yourself to imagine What If scenarios that light you up and ignite your fire to face the risk with courage and optimism.

3.    Embrace going beyond your comfort zone

The main reason we humans stay so ‘risk-free’ in our comfort zone is because we think that beyond safety and comfort lurks the Panic Zone.

But we forget the times in the past where we have gone outside our comfort zone and discovered the real zone – the Growth Zone.

This is just beyond your Comfort Zone and well before any panic. The Growth Zone is where the thrill of life happens, where fears disappear and your true joy and fulfillment is experienced.

Embracing the combination of these 3 points will make you realize that the ‘risks’ we perceive are often just a mirage.

That in fact, when you push on in spite of perceived risks and fears and tension and anxiety….it is very, very likely that you’ll suddenly realize that it wasn’t nearly as scary as you made it out to be.

You’ll question why you took so long. You’ll feel disappointment you didn’t take those steps much earlier.

You’ll marvel at how much easier (even when uncomfortable) it was compared to what you expected.

Yet, at the same time you’ll feel the immense boost in confidence and pride that you did it.

You will feel the weight lifted from your shoulders and within your heart.

You will embrace the new opportunities and experiences that are in front of you.

You will feel liberated.

And you will not regret it.

You might even smile when the researcher calls you and you get to tell her what a wonderful life you’ve had and the adventures you still intend to create.

How have you managed to take risks? How did you feel afterwards? What lessons can you learn from the times you stepped out of your comfort zone where everything worked out just fine? How can you apply this insight to your current life?

We’d love to hear from you and for you to share with other readers.

Signs your life is out of balance
I always know my life is out of whack when I start to feel any – or all – of the following:
1. overwhelmed.
2. irritable and short-tempered.
3.  overly emotional.
4.  angry and unable to concentrate or complete tasks.
5.  forgetful.
6.  exhibit passive aggressive behaviour (ouch!)
7.  feel constantly stressed – like having 10 cups of coffee.
8.  my breathing is shallow and rapid.
9.  my boundaries are unclear and i say “yes” when I really mean “no”.
10. I feel sad or depressed.
11.  I am constantly comparing myself to those who are appearing to ‘do more’ with their time.
12.  There is no creativity or play in my life.
13.  I’m involved in either too much work or too much play.
14.  I have no energy and am constantly tired.

How to tell when your life IS balanced
I know I’m in balance when I am expressing my fun, my creativity and feel in the flow with life. When life, in spite of its inherent challenges, is still flowing and is often effortless. I know when I’m in balance when I exercise, eat healthy food and take care of myself. If I’m not taking care of myself, then I can’t take care of my partner, my friends or my family. I know I’m in balance when I’m not worrying and angsting over everything, I’m not in denial; there is just a calmness about my actions. And I am very clear about boundaries and manage to articulate them to colleagues and loved ones.

How to get your life back in balance
The key here is actually being consciously aware that your life is out of balance in the first place. For some of us, working a 60-hour week is normal. Having no free time is normal. Sorry folks, it may be ‘normal’ but it sure ain’t healthy. To fully express all of you – left and right brain – we need balance in our lives.

Firstly, find out where your life is out of balance. I get clients to draw a circle, then divide it up into the following areas: Family/Work/Partner/Exercise/Friends/Spirituality/Me Time. Then write down what percentage of your time you are giving to each area. You might be surprised at the results!

Depending which areas are the most out of whack, write down some easy action steps to creating equilibrium. You could combine exercise with family time by an afternoon at your local pool. Or combine friends and spirituality by going to a workshop together.

Benefits of being in balance
Generally, I feel happier and more relaxed, which then has a positive effect on everyone I come into contact with. If we are feeling calmer we will inspire others to seek more balance in their own lives. I can think more clearly and make more congruent decisions that are beneficial. Decisions that are not fear-based but are more intuitive and self-serving. One great benefit of being in balance is that I am much more aware of my body and its messages. Often our heads overrule the body. Listening to your body can be extremely beneficial. It speaks the truth!

Here are a couple of great quotes that always remind me about balance in my life:
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythmn and harmony” Thomas Merton

“Man always travels along precipes. His truest obligation is to keep his balance”
Pope John Paul II

The 4 R’s of Perseverance are:

1.   Reconnect

2.   Realistic

3.   Resourcefulness

4.  Reignite momentum

Something always positive comes out of negative events, and it’s been interesting to see how social networking has played a major part in bringing these Womble clean-up mobs together for the benefit of their own communities – and communities in other parts of London.

That’s when my client revealed something to me (and provided permission to reveal it on here too). Their partner had told them that they were stuck in apathy. 

This was initially just accepted by the client and with true apathy, it almost drifted off into the recesses of her mind as yet another thing she didn’t care about. But something stuck just long enough for her to talk about it to me. Following our session I forwarded on the Wikipedia entry for apathy to see if that helped at all. Although the descriptions seemed to tie in with what she was (or rather wasn’t) feeling. It was the image that finally hit home and made her feel something, even though it was sadness, it was a feeling and something she knew was a sign that things were going to change.

The client realise that not only was she stuck in a state of apathy, but that she was cornered by both boredom and worry. Neither of those two emotions were particularly attractive either. It was then that she decided, that to move from one zone to another didn’t mean she had to spend much time, if any, in those other areas.

She began to write down ideas that would put her in the positive areas. Things she could do. Places she could go. People she could see.

Once she had three or four things in each positive section she sat back and looked at her work. She smiled, a great big warm and relaxed smile. The client had just realised she was already somewhere between Relaxation and Arousal. She selected two of the things that seemed most comfortable to her, and scheduled time in her diary to do them.

Over the next week she completed both the things she set out to do. But what interested her the most is that she found it easier to recognise the ebb and flow of her emotions. Instead of suppressing them, she enjoyed them. By recognising that being stuck in one emotionless state was a place she no longer wanted to be. Even if that meant occasionally feeling worried, bored or anxious. At least she felt alive!

In a recent blog post, Chris suggests it is worth reviewing your ‘current life’ twice a year, particularly to take an honest look at which parts are sending you warnings that something isn’t right – and that you might be ignoring!

Join Sam and Chris as they explore some of the ways to spot warning signs using Sam’s real-life experiences as an example, and how even the smallest changes can make a significant difference in helping you turn things around.

P.S. Since recording this, Sam has taken her two actions and really believes it is worth taking action before the warning signs become less subtle!

Do a quick calculation before you continue reading – even if it is just a guess off the top of your head.

This question was posed in the June 2011 issue of Psychologies Magazine, and (paraphrasing) it explains that new research* has found that when we feel loved and accepted by others, we are likely to decrease or underestimate the value of what we own because we derive a sense of protection and comfort from that love instead of needing it from our possessions.

I could rattle off a value based on my home contents insurance, but what struck me most was a comment about the corollary: of being super-protective about pricey objects…

I’d already noticed that I can get a bit obsessed with worrying about whether a guest is going to damage my furniture; not to mention how I feel about my partner’s care of my possessions sometimes! So this is clearly something I need to look at…

And if your valuation was relatively high, you spent a few minutes adding it all up or you identify with the ‘super-protective’ behaviour too then it might be worth taking a few moments to reflect on the sources of love in your life.

The article suggests making a list of the people whom you know love you. This is a great pick-me-up at any time, as well as for reminding us of the people we appreciate or whom we are missing and want to reach out to. But (for my own medicine) I’d like to add a couple of extra actions for recognising the value of love in our lives:

• What do I feel really proud of just now, and so far this year?
• What moments give me a sense of feeling at peace, oneness or being loved?
• What am I grateful for today?
• What do I love most about myself?

By answering these questions, we start to recognise love-filled experiences, people and characteristics that we might be overlooking.

I suspect our sense of security is influenced just as much by whether and how much we love ourselves, as it is by how much we feel loved by others. It is hard to accept love if we don’t love and accept ourselves.

For me, this is best summed up in The Verve song Lucky Man, where the lyrics declare: “All the love I have is in my mind”.

I’d love to hear whether answering the questions above helped you to feel more loved – by others, as well as yourself.

* Research: Clarke et al, Heightened Interpersonal Security Diminishes The Monetary Value of Possessions (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology).

Put this technique into practice immediately and you’ll find your barriers are no longer as high or as strong, and taking action becomes a whole lot easier.

We’d love to hear how this works for you and if you have alternative versions that other ActionPodcast listeners would benefit from as well. Leave a comment on this podcast!

I’d suggest it’s a good practice to review your ‘current life’ at least twice per year.

To stop and check in with yourself.

To take an honest look at which parts of your current life are giving you warnings that something isn’t right, yet you’re not heeding those warnings. Some examples could be:

• Your body is asking for a detox yet you continue to eat everything & anything.
• Your bank account is smaller but you continue to live larger.
• You’re feeling detached from your friends and miss them, however, when given the choice you default to more time at the office.
• You are constantly expressing that you “don’t have the time to…” do what’s important although you always seem to have time to do what’s unimportant or unfulfilling.

Of course, the warnings don’t mean you’re doomed to failure.

But warnings are warnings and they do serve a purpose.

The main purpose is to signal to you that something must change. Something within you or about you must change OR you’ll likely experience even more warnings and deeper pain in the near future.

But remember it’s not all bad either.

There are ALWAYS parts of your life that are examples of how to do it right. Sometimes you might need to look a little harder—if you’re out of practice—to find inspiring examples that demonstrate your unique strengths, your creative flair or your compassion for others.

If you feel like you’ve been running at a million miles per hour recently and spinning a bit out of control, give yourself the gift of some reflective time and answer the following questions:

1. What recent experience in my life did I really enjoy? Could be travel, a project, a special night with a special someone.
2. How could I use that recent experience as an inspiring example to create more joy and happiness in my life right now?
3. What could I do to create a similarly rewarding experience in the next 6 weeks?
4. What ‘warning signals’ have been showing up recently?
5. Which one(s) are the most important for me to resolve before I allow more time to pass?
6. What action can I take this week to change my behaviour and/or resolve the issue?
7. What are the first two action steps I WILL take to build momentum and make sure it’s a happy ending?

Spend 10 minutes answering these questions in your notepad or on your computer. Don’t just passively sit and think about them. Put pen to paper or fingers to keys.

You’ll be glad you did.

And you’ll be inspired by your inner strength to turn your warnings into examples, and renew your enthusiasm for creating the life that you want.

Listen to this podcast and download our free ebook for even more tips and tricks to boost your daily energy.

The Man Your Man Could Smell Like...

The Man Your Man Could Smell Like Old Spice

This tongue-in-cheek clip is an hilarious poke at the retro vibe of a ‘man’s man’ and as such appeals to both my generation who remember the original Old Spice ads (“the mark of a man”) as well as younger YouTube viewers who love the cocky,faux irreverent machismo humour. Beautifully scripted and delivered with bang on precision by actor Isaiah Mustafa these ads are helping Old Spice shift product like nothing before. Creating demand, where before there was but a trickle. Clever, eh? And very compelling.

Which brings me spicely on to… how do you advertise yourself? Specifically in your professional life? What are you doing to make you and your business as compelling and engaging as the Old Spice character?

Video Marketing = Increased Visibility
Being visible in today’s increasingly competitive digital markets is essential. And video is one highly effective way in which you can raise brand awareness and drive traffic to your website, all in one go. The new Old Spice Man video has received 35.5 MILLION views on YouTube (as I write). That’s what you call an audience – and then some.

Benefits of video marketing

1. Increased audience and greater visibility.

2. Engages the viewers’ emotions much more than written text.

3. 24/7 access via cell phones, iPods etc.

4. Thanks to Google’s Universal Search facility, video is now included in the search rankings. Hello SEO!

5. The key to greater audience share is to create quality content. Home videos with a pot plant coming out of your head just don’t cut it. Getting a professionally made video won’t cost you the earth.

6. You can duplicate your written content to video and offer more value to potential clients.

7. Ease of use. With a little practice you can create and upload your video content to YouTube relatively quickly. YouTube is FREE! And you create backlinks.

8. Landing pages that use video receive a higher conversion rate. It is much easier to make that ‘call to action’

9.  You can quickly establish your own particular niche or brand.

10. You can quickly position yourself as an expert.

Ways to promote yourself using video

Video Blogs
Fed up of receiving boring emails directing you to websites? Yes, me too. But if someone tags a link to a video with their Tweet or email, then I will usually go take a peek.  If your business is visually oriented (arts, design, property etc) a video blog would be a useful addition to your website and will help to create interest and drive traffic. You can establish a faster connection with your target market from the get-go and establish trust. Keep it short and sweet.

Video testimonials
Recording a series of happy clients is a great way to arouse interest and curiosity. Ask the more eloquent and passionate of your happy customers if they’d be happy to share their positive experiences on film. Again, keep it short and sweet. Viewers’ attention spans fade out after a few minutes.

Training Videos
Videos are a clever way – even mixed with audio – to train and instruct. A great way to reach potential clients who are visual learners. 

For more information on YouTube, check out its regular blog here: Official YouTube Blog

Finding common ground with someone can build instant rapport and allow you to connect with people and a much better level. Learning to find the common ground with someone is a skill that anyone can learn to incorporate into their daily lives.

The course Gina mentions is with http://www.darreneden.com

One of the things that never ceases to intrigue me is that sooner or later, some people take it upon themselves to give me additional background information on their colleagues I’ve met, or am about to meet. They have a feeling that I need to have my expectations set about certain people. Sadly, for the most part, this tends to be a negative opinion. So I listen to their opinions about their workmates’ work ethics, or social capability, and try to understand how they came to this impression.

Then I do my very best to forget everything they have just told me. When I do meet or work with the person in question, I like to start from a point where I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt. I have to remember that it was just the opinion of another person (or persons!), but it’s unlikely that I would have been able to fully understand the context in which the negative impression was created. It’s definitely impossible for me to gain insight from the person in question regarding this negative opinion. So you can see the battle is already very unfair.

To be clear, I still do the same with people that have been given glowing reports too! For me, at least at the beginning, I see everyone on a fresh, clean slate. What they put on that slate is 100% up to them; it’s their own actions and their own words that form my opinion.

Ultimately I may indeed end up with exactly the same negative or positive impression as others, but at least it’s my opinion – and mine alone.

Often we hear people say that if they had more money they would be able to do something else; something more exciting or interesting. Or they blame their current circumstances, having to look after the kids, an elderly relative or some other kind of commitment.

All too often we find ourselves holding on to this wishful thought that if we had the freedom, things would be different. Well Paul and Gina are here to tell you that vision of freedom is, in fact, just an illusion. It’s your own way of stopping you from actually fulfilling your dreams.

By sustaining this illusion, people even feel somewhat satisfied that they have already attained their goal, even though it’s just in their mind. This has the added benefit of them never having to go through the hard work and change that might be required to achieve this dream.

So if you often find yourself lost in wishful thinking, it’s time to shatter that illusion and start working towards making it a reality instead.

My reply was that it was a ritual – almost a tradition – that I upheld, but it got me thinking about why it was so important.

I love a great movie or a gripping book for the immersive experience it gives me; that sense of having stood in the shadow of the characters and shared their journey. Getting so caught up in a story like the deep-sea diver who lives for a time as part of the underwater universe that he is visiting.

And in the same way that I appreciate the magic of nature, I am grateful for the experience that a brilliant movie can offer me.

Staying to watch the credits roll is, in part, about respecting the efforts of all the people who contributed to bringing that movie to life; and to my life.

And these days, that list for each movie is very, very long.

When we are able to appreciate and hold gratitude for something that moves us, there is a hidden gift. We learn not to take things for granted, and especially, we acknowledge the impact of the emotion that was evoked within us.

But there is also a sense of not wanting to let life diminish the power of the experience too quickly.

Why race out of the cinema, into the flash flood of life that brings its own competing experiences, to wash away the intensity of what has just been witnessed?

So I like to stay in the cocoon of the cinema as the credits roll, and simply sit with the feelings and thoughts that the movie has left me with. To mull over my reaction, what I most enjoyed, and even what niggles at the back of my mind.

Then, as the final credits give way to the studio logos and the lights start to lift, I can step slowly back out into the world knowing that I’ve honoured the experience I’ve just had.

The fact that last night was also the end of an era, made my ritual more poignant. What might be different without the courage of Harry, Ron, Hermione and the other characters I’d come to know and love?

So whether you’ve ever watched the credits of a movie until the end, personally thanked a chef for a delicious meal or written to an author of a book you loved, it is worth pausing for a breath and asking yourself:

What experiences touch your soul?

What experiences do you get caught up in?

What could you take a few extra moments to appreciate, to savour?

Then promise yourself that you’ll honour that experience next time you get a chance.

Also at the end of the podcast Paul and Sam put out a request for listeners own personal stories of success so keep . Please get in touch if you’d like to tell us and the other listeners how you managed to overcome your own challenges!

All done in an attempt to get the smaller, mundane (or urgent) things off your plate so you can settle down into your day and finally get to the important stuff.

It’s a strategy most of us use on a regular basis – but for most of us, it’s flawed. And usually painfully so.

While this approach often feels like the best thing to do, how often do you actually get to the most important items? Chances are, it’s rare and often at a cost.

The time cost of sacrificing our evenings with family or friends because you need to work a bit later as more little things came up during the day and you didn’t finish what you wanted to.

The attention cost of being distracted with other people’s demands or urgent problems which never allow you to be fully engaged and focused when you finally get the space to do the really valuable things.

The energy cost of being tired, drained or completely exhausted by the time you get to what matters most, causing you to put it off to another day.

And all these costs add up to a dramatic reduction in your productivity and performance.

So what is the alternative?

It’s a standard approach of the top performers, a key strategy of the world’s most productive leaders…and a simple enough idea that everyone can do.

For a rapid boost in your personal performance do the “first things first”.

Popularised in many books, including Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy and Be Excellent at Anything by Tony Swartz and Jean Gomes, the ‘first’ is the task, project, or issue that has the highest value and impact for you. This could be related to your professional or personal life.

How you define highest value and impact will be unique to you and will vary from week to week but there will always be one, two or three items that deserve the greatest care since they will give you (and your team or family) the biggest return.

At work, it’s often the things that require the most thinking time and full engagement for you to properly work through it.

Commonly, it’s the items that will give you the greatest long-term rewards and success, and doesn’t have short-term urgencies.

Usually, these will be the items you consistently neglect….since you “never have time to do what’s important”.

Hmmm…sound familiar?

Doing it “first” means to proactively and decisively commit to the first 30, 60 or 90 minutes of your day to focusing on nothing but the most important things.

Write a few pages of your book. Develop a long-term strategy for growing your business this year. Spend time on the looming performance appraisal of your key team members. Make that appointment or call an out-of-touch friend. Exercise.

Don’t turn your computer on if you don’t have to and certainly don’t open your email.

Complete focus.

How productive would that be?

How invigorating would that be?

How rewarding and fulfilling would that be?

If this is a scary thought for you, start small. Try it out just one day this week. Tell others you’re only available after a certain time.

I’m sure you’ll quickly notice the benefits you get and will be encouraged to do this more often and for longer periods.

Are you willing to give it a try? Are you willing to add more value, create more enjoyment and experience a boost in your performance?

Let us know how this worked for you and share other ideas to boost your performance.

There’s nothing worse than getting bad feedback.

There’s nothing more helpful than getting constructive feedback.

So how on earth do you make sure you get the right feedback? Paul and Sam love getting feedback just as much as anyone and during this podcast they discuss some great suggestions on how to ask for feedback so that you get the right information at the right time to help you improve instead of sending you off in the wrong and often depressing spiral caused by poorly given feedback.

So since it’s July already (how did that happen?!) it seems an appropriate time to give ourselves a thorough half-year review. Here are a few key areas worth making a note of:

1. How close are you to those goals you set in January?

2. Which goals are now obsolete and no longer hold your interest?

3. How are your finances? Have you been saving regularly, or are you still living life in the red?

4. Have you made new connections, found the time to network with a view to possible joint ventures?

5. How is your physical, mental and emotional health? Are you taking care of yourself? Have you taken time out to recharge lately?

6. How is your work/life balance? How are you dealing with personal and professional stresses?

9. What are your successes over the last six months?

10. Which achievements are you particularly proud of?

11. What direct action has led to these achievements and peak experiences?

12. What lessons have you learned? Professionally and personally?

Benefits of a half-year review
Time is certainly speeding up. And whether this is due to our lives being more crowded and more demands being made of us, or whether consciousness is actually accelerating is open to conjecture. Yet however you manage your time – and your thoughts – in our increasingly information overloaded world is crucial.

As any accountant will tell you, checks and balances are integral to a healthy business. Keeping a careful eye on how you spend your energy, time and money is essential. If you don’t already have a business and personal ‘plan’ for the next six months of 2011, I strongly recommend you create one. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just write down some desired end results you’d love to see in your personal and professional life. Then, writing as if you’ve already achieved these goals, make a note of what action you took to get you there.

For, as a wise soul once wrote: “If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?”

After this you’ll now have more energy to put towards the most important things in your life.

Leave a comment and let us know what you discovered by following this exercise and putting the strategy in place.

“This is pretty good; I think I’ll keep going.”

This one came from The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, and is one of many affirmations, techniques and perspectives that have helped me loosen the grip of perfectionism that had stopped me achieving much, let alone my best.

I know the other ActionCoaches have also struggled with the need to be perfect from time to time, so here is a collection of some of our top insights into how to live a more effective and fulfilled life:

• In Perfect Paul and I discuss the effects of Perfectionism Paralysis, and how it stops us doing what we most want to do. Listen to this podcast for some action tips to …
• In Be Anything But Perfect Gina & Chris talk explore limiting beliefs that could be at the heart of our perfectionist tendencies, highlight the warning signs and share some tips we can use to be successful even when we aren’t perfect.
• In (Un)Great Expectations Gina & I discuss how our high expectations can come at a high cost to our relationships and ultimately are the cause of any hurt we feel. Listen to this for tips on how perspective and clarity can ease the disappointment.
• If your perfectionism strays into external comparisons then you will want to listen to The Danger of Comparisons. Paul & Gina talk about the negative impacts of comparing ourselves to unrealistic ideals, and the way some industries contribute to these false images that we aspire to. Listen to this for a more healthy solution to comparisons that damage your self esteem and confidence.
• In Don’t Call Me Perfect… I bust the myth that coaches must be perfect, and explain why we all have a choice between judging ourselves or trying to improve. Read it for 4 questions that will allow you to start exploring your ‘shadow’ side.

Returning to creativity – one of the best pieces of advice I received just before I started writing a book last year was that it was better to have a completed manuscript that needed a lot of editing, than no manuscript at all.

Having parked perfectionism at the door and allowed myself to write the novel, I wholeheartedly agree – and think that this is a great metaphor for anything in life.

I would rather have lived imperfectly, than never to have lived at all!

Please leave a comment and share how perfectionism has stopped you. If you’ve found a way to reboot your action, or this collection of tips has inspired you, then we’d love to know about it!

Sometimes it feels like we’re swinging from one extreme to the other – one moment careening towards a crash, and a moment later, struggling up the mountain without a clear view of when (or if) we’ll reach the top.

Life can feel like a rollercoaster ride of heady peaks and stomach-churning troughs, and whilst we would all be terribly bored if it was just a flat track to the horizon… wouldn’t it be great if we could learn to balance out those pendulum-swings just a little? Even-it-up a bit so that it flowed more smoothly, and we could actually start to enjoy the ride?

Sam joins Paul on his train-journey of discovery into how we can keep the momentum and motivation flowing when we need it most!

Every time I received these kinds of answers I had to remind the client that coaching is all about taking action; simply stating what you want to be or have (or feel) isn’t going to make it happen.  Only an action that you carry out will help to create your desired end result.

A classic answer from some clients that state intention but not action are:-

• I just need to be more confident
• I want to work on being more understanding
• I want to feel more comfortable in this situation
• I’m going to be more proactive
• I going to stop smoking

All of these statements came from clients when I asked them what action they were going to take over the following week. None of these answers are statements of action; they are all intentions or desired results.

It’s great to have clarity around the result you want, but without knowing how you are going to achieve it you’ll end up putting all your hopes into something just ‘happening like magic’. Just because you said it.

Intentions or statements of a desired result often contain the words “BE”, “HAVE”, “FEEL”, “WANT” or “NEED”.

If you find that when you are setting yourself actions to progress, you are using the above words then chances are you aren’t setting yourself an achievable action. This makes it impossible to complete, so it’s guaranteed to fail.

Make sure you are setting yourself real actions by following these simple steps:-

1. Think of your action as being something physical you have to do.
2. Your action should be something that takes a certain amount of time. It can be just a few minutes or even seconds, but if you can’t imagine how long it will take then it’s not an action!
3. Research is still action! Talking to others about something or looking up more information is still 100% better than just wishing something will occur. Schedule time in your diary and talk over things with a good friend – preferably a good listener.

So once you have decided what you want to “BE” or “HAVE”, consider what is it that you are actually going to “DO” about it.

Remember, just taking ONE small action is infinitely more effective than just thinking about it!

In this podcast, Chris and Sam discuss a simple, practical and very effective strategy to quickly regain confidence and make you feel like a superstar before being in the spotlight. They provide two proven ways to achieve this…and it takes less than five minutes!

Leave us a comment and let us know how this works for you and what situation you’d like to have more confidence next time.

Condensing an idea or thought into its key essence without losing meaning is an important skill, yet we can become complacent in our communication.

Have you sent or received an ambiguous “txt msg” lately that could be misunderstood? The convenience of 160-character text messages (SMS) saw us lose meaning in our attempt to be brief and quick.

With the freedom of email, when did you last carefully review a message before sending it? The commoditisation of data has meant it is cheap to send increasingly large quantities of information, reducing the need for brevity.

Although brevity is less appropriate when being creative, journalling or simply chewing the fat with an old friend, it is increasingly more important in marketing, fast-paced work environments, digital communication and the prioritisation of our time.

I love Twitter for its 140-character limit which encourages me to be really clear and concise about what I want to say. It becomes easier with practice, so here are 4 Questions for Brevity to try:

1. What am I *really* trying to say? Think about the outcome you want & what the most important detail is.
2. Who is my message aimed at? Think about the audience and how that might influence what needs to be included.
3. Is it clear enough? Think about the context, and whether there are any assumptions made or details missing.
4. What can I cut without reducing the meaning? Think about how much story or description is necessary to your purpose from Q1.

Please add your comments below, and share your thoughts on:

In what context or situation would it be useful to practice your skills at brevity?

But thinking about the year already whizzing by got Paul and Gina thinking about what really inspires them and helps them really appreciate what they have in life.

What inspires you?

Does watching this video make you wonder if the creator was peeping in through your windows watching how you navigate through the day?

Well, if you’re laughing or feeling a bit uncomfortable at how much you relate to the above comments, then perhaps it’s time to really take a look at your procrastinating skills in a new light.

Being a procrastinator is not a genetic trait nor a unresolvable habit, it’s simply a result of flawed thinking and instant judgement. It’s not YOU that’s the problem, it’s just your pattern of thinking in the moment.

Ask these simple questions…and answer them with brutal and loving honesty…to shed a new light on your core issue and begin to feel more empowered to make a change.

Step 1: Think of something specific that you’re procrastinating on this week.

Step 2: What is it about this task/project that makes you uncomfortable about taking action?

Step 3: Why is that uncomfortable?

Step 4: Why is (your answer to step 3) uncomfortable?

Step 5: Why is (your answer to step 4) uncomfortable?

Step 6: Why is (your answer to step 5) uncomfortable?

Step 7: Imagine the task/project is now done. What would the ‘you of the future’ say to yourself right now?

Step 8: What small thing can you do, that will take less than 20 minutes, to break the ice, make progress and start to feel in control of the situation?

If you answered those questions openly and honestly, you now know what to do.

When we hold a belief that is so absolute there is no escaping it, this has real consequences for who we are, how we behave and how we react to situations or people. Yet we don’t always realise we are being so totalitarian.

Even if we catch ourselves uttering definitive sentences, we might wonder why it matters – “So what if I think all women love shopping?” or “So what if I believe relationships always end badly?” or “I’ve never been any good at maths, why should I care now?”

Rather than suggest it is absolutely necessary, Paul and Sam simply suggest it might be worth exploring a belief you have that seems inflexible… join them as they share some tips for how to identify an absolute belief, and then some ways to gently challenge this – from the ridiculous to the more scientific!

You might also want to ponder: What would it mean to you if it wasn’t always true?

Many thanks to Rob for the topic suggestion that sent us down a rabbit hole, where we discovered Pandora’s Box!

But the fact that the infection is there is telling me that my immune system is weak and that I need to take greater care of myself: physical, mentally and emotionally. We all know what we SHOULD be doing but so often we don’t take our own advice.

So briefly, if you feel like you’re getting run down. STOP! Take time out to rest. Watch your diet. Eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Cut down your alcohol intake. And certainly reduce the cigarettes if you’re a smoker. Your body can only go on for so long without packing up! Be kind to yourself.  I certainly intend to me much kinder to myself from now on.

Here are excellent and easy ways to maintain or boost your immune system from Dr. Ray Sahelian, M.D.

Deep sleep is one of the most important ways to boost the immune system. Chronic insomnia can lead to immune system deficiency. One good way to make sure you sleep deeper and longer is by taking a long walk each day.

Moderate exercise, at least 3 times a week, preferably daily walks. Excessive and prolonged physical activity temporarily reduces the function of the immune system. Avoid excessive sun exposure.

Reduce stress any way you know how. Stress releases the hormone cortisol which wreaks havoc with the immune system. Stress of any kind — emotional, physical, psychological — quickly damages the immune system.

Eat more fruits and vegetables. They have flavonoids that have anti-bacterial and anti-viral activity. Avoid excessive sugar intake. Consume more garlic, onions and culinary herbs such as cloves. Berry fruits are rich sources of bioactive compounds, such as phenolics and organic acids, which have antimicrobial activities against human pathogens. Among different berries and berry phenolics, cranberry, cloudberry, raspberry, strawberry and bilberry especially possess clear antimicrobial effects.

Ingest healthyprobiotic bacteria. These friendly gut bacteria may boost the immune system.
Reduce or eliminate smoking. Keep alcohol consumption low or moderate.

Drink more – up to mid-afternoon. Drinking tea appears to boost the immune system. Non-tea drinkers who downed two to four small cups of black tea per day for two weeks appeared to be better able to fight off bacterial infections. As an explanation for tea’s benefits, experiments in the lab revealed that an ingredient found in black, green, oolong and pekoe teas boosted the ability of immune system cells to attack a bacterial invader. The experiments used ethylamine, which is produced when the tea ingredient L-theanine is broken down in the liver.

Get a massage. Massage therapy reduces cortisol levels.

Pray, meditate, listen to music, or find a way to still your mind.

Do yoga, or relaxed breathing and stretching, at least once or twice a week.

Have regular exposure to the sun or take at least 400 units of vitamin D a day. Some people with little or no sun exposure may require up to 2,000 units a day.

If you’re suffering now, or feel like some bug is trying to take hold within you, try some of these solutions and you’ll be back on your feet in no time.

Not just providing a ‘positive thinking’ theory, they guide you through a specific set of actions and provide a simple framework for you to take on a transformational 30 day challenge to eliminate a key stress or frustration from your life.

Listen to the podcast and leave a comment to let us know you’re taking the challenge and how we can help you to succeed.

Welcome to the holiday (vacation for those in the USA) that almost never was.

So here’s an explanation on how circumstances conspired to almost ruin our holiday and stop it from happening altogether!

Three days before we were due to leave, one of our beloved cats threw up. Nothing unusual about that Eddie (short for Edina, yes the character from Ab Fab) normally throws up a couple of fur balls a week. Thank goodness for wooden, wipe clean flooring! However this time there appeared to be several lumps of blood. We were worried; very worried. The following day Peter took Eddie to the vet, who took some blood for tests and gave us various medications. That afternoon we checked out travel insurance and apparently we were covered if a pet was ill, so we could cancel our holiday and claim – if necessary.

That night, while keeping a close eye on Eddie, worrying ourselves sick over what could be wrong,we caught her eating some flowers, small bright red, some may say blood red flowers…. Panic over, the holiday was back on.

So we’re off! Up at the hideous time of 3:45am to pack and catch our train at 4:35am. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Tickets, money, passport, check! Off we trek glad to put the false alarm behind us and look forward to relaxing in the sun. Upon arrival at the train station it seems the 4:35am train was changed to a 4:20, so we missed that one. Still, no panic there is another at 5:05am that should still give us plenty of time. Two hours for check-in is always excessive. The train seemed to be going really slowly and stopping at several places we weren’t expecting it to. (We were on the right train, weren’t we? Ah an announcement, yes we were!) Finally we arrive at the airport, locate our check-in area with a queue (line for the folks from the USA) that seemed to take up half the airport. Almost an hour later we are checked in! Our boarding time on our ticket seems to say boarding started five minutes ago. Our route to the security gates is diverted to some back room that looks like something they only use for the really cheap flights, well I guess that’s fair enough… Through security, no embarrassing body search, yay! Finally something went right.

A quick march off to the gate, which seems to be well over a 20 minute walk! The passengers are already boarding, we join the queue and are finally on board – after another five minute walk! This really was the furthest plane from our arrival at the airport! But we made it!

The plane journey was blissfully uneventful, although I was feeling a little stressed still from the sick cat, slow train, and check-in from hell. Nevertheless we arrived safely at Palma airport in Mallorca. We split up, I get the car rental sorted and Pete waits for the luggage. By the time I’m done refusing an infinite number of upgrades and duplicate over insurance, Pete has just picked up the suitcases, another win!

Off we go to the car park to find our car, it’s quite a big car park and it seems to confuse us, so we end up walking backwards and forwards either way about three times before we finally track down the world’s smallest hire car. Still, no problem, we manage to squeeze in the two suitcases and bags. Set up the GPS and start to program in the villa. OK, can’t find the villa, so we try the road. Can’t find the road, so the town. Nope, still no luck. We resort to the written instructions provided by the holiday company. They seem decent enough, and we are finally on the road.

But the GPS continues to freak out, by not having most of the roads listed in its map and reporting disk errors and it suddenly decides it’s night and turns the screen ultra dark. GPS now pronounced DOA (dead on arrival). The directions were great up to about 10 minutes before our destination. At this point they seemed to have different road names and vague descriptions of the final turning and location of or villa. We arrive and what seems, rather worryingly, a rather clapped out old villa. The gate is locked and we can’t find the key box anywhere. Pete attempts to climb over the brick wall, almost pulling it down in his effort for scale it. Still unable to find the key box he returns to the car as someone else drives past and toots their horn at us. Pete speaks to the lady, who only speaks Spanish and he only speaks pointing and smiling. Pete works out that our villa is further up the road.

We arrive at our beautiful villa, in large grounds and behind a large wrought iron and padlocked gate. With no key box in sight. Maybe we are just early, check-in is meant to be around 4pm and it’s still only about 12:30pm. As we head off again in search of a supermarket to buy provisions we decided to call the representative and ask for advice, just in case the gate shouldn’t be locked and we needed her to come out and unlock it. She was very friendly and said she should be there within the hour.

We continue on to get our supplies, not quite sure how we will fit everything in the tiny car as it’s pretty much full already with our luggage. Just as we finish squeezing the last of our shopping in to the back seat of the car, the rep calls to tell us that the padlock wasn’t actually locked so we could have just lifted it off ourselves. Oh, the shame.

Two days into our unwinding, we decide to go for a little drive out and see what we can see. Within about 30mins I have what can be only described as the closest thing to a major collision. So close in fact that the front number plate was dislodged and you can actually see the tyre marks along the front of the car. Just a few inches farther forward and the impact could have been so much worse it simply defies thinking about.

So the moral of my tale is simple: despite everything that almost went wrong, we did everything we could to deal with each issue as it arose. We supported each other when we struggled. Most importantly, we didn’t give up. Here I am now, several drinks later (so goodness only knows how this will read!) and having a wonderful relaxing time. This will go down as one of the toughest holidays I’ve ever had, but dammit, it’s my holiday and I am determined to enjoy it!

Chris and Gina discuss three simple steps to honestly re-evaluate your dedication level and how you can make committing to a project or goal something fun instead of a chore.

Chances are, we’ve been carrying them around with us regardless of whether they are still in our lives or not… This isn’t a horror story, but it is a scary thought!

I was recently introduced to the idea of the “dungeon” as part of the inner castle of our mind (or soul) – and even at a surface level, this metaphor can be incredibly powerful!

What if we lock every person who’s ever hurt us (or whom we’ve ever been angry with) in a deep, dark, damp cell in the dungeon of our mind? What if we did that, and threw away the keys, forgetting that we’d locked them in there at all?

The weight and pain of such a thing would be more than we might think we could bear, but people end up in our dungeons because we haven’t forgiven or released the perceived wrong that they did. The idea that we might all secretly be dungeon-masters, dishing out punishment and neglect is not a comfortable one… and we might try to trick ourselves at first thought – and decide we’ve not got anyone locked in any dungeon – thank you very much!

But if we did, what is it costing us to keep those people, events and hurts locked away inside us?

It is worth playing with this idea, even just briefly. So I encourage you to entertain the concept for a few minutes, and ask yourself:

“Who or what might be locked away in my dungeon?”

Some of the hurts might go back to our childhood, and others may be more recent additions to the dark cohort. Once I started playing with this, I had one particularly person spring very vehemently to mind! Others were slower to reveal themselves, and I’m sure there are even more waiting in the wings (aka the cells!).

Releasing anyone from our inner dungeon might seem like a tall order, particularly as we probably still feel they deserve to be there! But by allowing ourselves to recognise who and how many people we are dragging around after us – sustaining them in their dungeon home – can be quite an enlightening experience.

We might find it liberating to consider letting someone go. Not to condone what they did, but simply to break the hold it had over us in that deep inner place.

… It might even be like shucking off a ball and chain!

We’ve all had the experience of someone giving us the most infuriating piece of advice, regardless of how well-intentioned it is – especially when they seem to be quoting clichéd phrases just “Just learn to let it go”.

These sorts of banal phrases can really push our buttons, but this ultimately makes the situation (and how we’re feeling) worse. So Sam and Paul explore some ways to not only re-frame the moments when we find ourselves on the receiving end of a poorly-timed or unhelpful piece of advice, but also some alternative ways of responding to the psychobabble that could help take the sting out of it.

We live in a time of incredible opportunities, limitless access to ideas, and convenience all around us.

It’s also a time with a lack of security, constant and rapid change, and seemingly unavoidable distractions pulling us in multiple directions at all times.

So within this paradoxical storm it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeing or feeling a wall of barriers in front of you, blocking your path to your ultimate success and fulfilment.

However, the reality is there is one factor that rises above all others that prevents you from getting all you desire.

This one factor is the single biggest factor that prevents your progress.

This one factor erodes your confidence and creates paralysing procrastination and frustration, making your dreams seem painfully further away than before.

This factor alone increasingly causes more and more people to ‘play small’ in their life and end up looking back with regret and disappointment – in themselves.

The single biggest factor stopping you is you’re not doing what you really want to do

I don’t just mean the big picture of you not doing the job or work that you’re really passionate about. For many people that is a big part of it but mostly – and most painfully – this shows up on a daily basis in the little things: not following through on your promise to yourself to get to the gym in the morning, not spending needless hours on your computer or email rather than enjoying time with family, not facing the uncomfortable feelings and having the necessary conversation with your boss.

When you consistently fail to act on your thoughts of what you want to do it’s like digging a deeper and deeper hole that becomes too overwhelming to climb out of.

Yet at the same time, when you face this issue head on, when you get really honest with yourself, you’ll realise it’s not as scary as you make it out to be.

You will experience a rush of renewed enthusiasm with just a little bit of action against this.

You will accelerate your learning and be able to quickly adjust your approach to achieve your results faster.

And, perhaps most importantly you will feel more pride in yourself, more belief in your abilities, and an expansion in your internal drive to do more and more.

So when is now a good time to start doing that thing that you really, really want to?

Start with just one thing in your life. Pick one area, one topic that is driving you crazy with frustration or annoyance in yourself. You’ve wasted enough time getting emotionally twisted inside, it’s time to unravel that feeling and get back to your best self.

You have two choices on how to approach this:

Block off all the time you need to blitz it and get in all done in one fell swoop.

Or commit yourself to at least one action everyday for the next 5 days. Then you can re-evaluate the issue at that point and remap your strategy to get it done.

But also remember this: you really, really want to do this. So don’t make it feel like a heavy chore or burdensome work. Come from a place of joy, enthusiasm, creativity, fun, gratitude or whatever place will best serve you.

Remind yourself that you ARE doing what you want to do. Remind yourself of the greater good this is doing for you and for those affected by you.

Make yourself feel good in the process and you’ll feel great when it’s done.

If it’s not something that will be ‘completed’ but is an ongoing habit for you (e.g. exercising regularly, reading more books, spending quality time with your partner) then make sure you start to consistently reinforce the pleasure you get from doing it.

Take note of how you feel before, after and during this process.

By following these suggestions not only will you make progress on this one area in your life, but you will build momentum to keep going and ultimately be living life as you really want to.

Please leave a comment and share how this factor has stopped you and what you’ve done to break through that barrier. Big or small we’d like to know, and your fellow readers will appreciate your input.

These questions can help build your confidence that you can do it and start you on the path to feeling great about your new opportunity.

What a funny expression that is. Initially I thought it meant something more titillating than a synonym for Wednesdays, but maybe Americans don’t use the word ‘hump’ in quite the same way as us Brits! Either way, in the spirit of all things humpable, here are five fun ways to make your hump day go with a bang!

1. Take the day off work. Yes, do it! Take a day off, or simply take your work home with you. Then you can spend your hump day at home. In the pleasure of your own company; or someone else’s.

2. Plan a great mid-week night out. You don’t have to go crazy – Thursday hangovers are never much fun. So how about a meal out with a close friend, your partner or even some work colleagues. It’s a great away to get into the pre-weekend mood.

3. Get up a little earlier and read the paper over a leisurely breakfast. All too often we rush our most important meal of the day, or even worse, grab it on the way to work with a macchiato whatever (has anyone noticed that Starbucks sells foam not coffee?). Heart-attack inducing croissants and bagels are not the best way to give your body energy first thing in the morning.

4. How many times have you been telling yourself you’ll get to the pool/gym before work? Even if you haven’t been since making that New Year’s resolution, how about starting a Hump Day Exercise Special? Just do exercise on Wednesdays. You’ll feel better for having made the effort. And you will burn off that bagel in no time.

5. Get up a little earlier and reward yourself with some intimate time with your partner. Or even yourself! Morning communion can be a great way to start your hump day!

Happy Wednesday everyone

This is a longer podcast than normal because whilst Gina & Sam are very passionate about their own daily journals, they realise that not everyone will be as excited or comfortable with the idea

… so they start by exploring some tips for people who might experience strong resistance to the idea of writing down their thoughts every day. The process of writing in this way can skyrocket your success and happiness: and alongside discussing the many benefits of journaling, they also explore some of the ways to make it work best for you.

[Gina & Sam both use a form of journaling from The Artist's Way called Morning Pages - for more info have a look here.]

Often when people first hear that phrase it strikes fear into them, that dreaded thought of moving out of their comfort zone. This is often because people think they need to do something something big and dramatic, and that quite frankly scares the life out of them. This simple is not true.

Expanding your comfort zone should feel much more like taking a small step everyday. Think of it as more of a breath of fresh air.

Being in your comfort zone really means how you feel when you are doing the same things you do every day. Without much thought or concern. It’s your natural state and requires very little preparation, consideration or energy.

To really stretch yourself out of your comfort zone, just think about taking it one small step at a time. To take one step out of your comfort zone, you should feel its something out of the ordinary. Something that breaks your normal routine. But not something that is too overwhelming or just down right risky! Try doing something physical or task that requires a bit of preparation, anything that means you have to think about how you are going to do it.

It’s by taking these small steps every day to gradually expand your comfort zone. The new and different, becomes routine. That’s exactly what expanding your comfort zone means!

Sam and Paul explore the process of outsourcing and compare it to the general delegation of a task; both can be quite a minefield if you aren’t careful!

So, just because you have given the work to someone else to complete, doesn’t mean you are off the hook or no longer responsible. You still need to work with them to ensure the results are what you expect!

Whether you delegate chores at home, tasks at work or larger outsourcing projects/roles, join us as we explore the dangers and challenges of delegating a task, along with some tips and strategies to ensure it goes according to plan (and doesn’t backfire on you)!

There is certainly something very energising and uplifting about sunny skies and spring bulbs and fresh air without the chill. And for me, this has been accompanied by a deep sense of gratitude – how thankful I am for each ray of sunshine, how beautiful each flower is and how free it feels to finally ditch the thermal underwear I’d been living in for nearly 5 full months!

And whether coincidentally or through divine guidance, I’m experiencing a rebirth of sorts – beginning a new chapter of my life, and giving birth to some dreams that I’ve wanted to nurture for a long while now. It feels like Spring poetry in action!

Alongside the gratitude comes a sense of the impossible becoming – not just possible – but something real! If the sun can rediscover Scotland after such a long bitter winter, and the daffodils and tulips can emerge from the dark soil so bright and happy, then maybe the incredible plans and ideas that I have can take shape too…

It seems like this time of year invites more curiosity, more creativity and more hope! And it is the perfect opportunity for us to give ourselves small gifts of time – to play with that curiosity and wonder and fun. To reconnect with nature and the explorers in our hearts. Because if we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy these moments now, then it is all too easy to miss out on them for the rest of the year.

In the same way that the flower buds form and then open to greet the sun, so too is this our chance to raise our faces to the warmth of new beginnings. And in my gratitude, and with the benefit of hindsight from a sunny day, I can also see that the winter (with its cold darkness that made me want to cocoon at home by the heater) had its purpose. It allowed me to regroup, gather my ideas together and prepare the space for new seeds to germinate. Each season has its purpose, and our dreams and goals experience the flow of seasons too.

So I invite you to get curious with me, just now:

• Just take a moment to think about all the (little or big) things you can be grateful for. If you need inspiration, try a quick walk in a nearby park or even a look out the window if your view is more than just man-made structures!
• Jot down a couple of words or thoughts about some impossible things that could become possible with the creative energy of this time of year.
• Decide to give yourself permission to enjoy 5 (or even 30) minutes outside the next time the sun is shining. What would you do to enjoy it?
• What ideas or goals might have been germinating over the winter that could start sprouting (if they haven’t already!) with a little bit of nurturing?
• What one habit or action or plan could do with a fresh perspective, to re-energise and uplift it?

Did you allow yourself to get curious and play with some of those questions, just for a few moments?

If not: then what would it take, for you to let your inner explorer be courageous this week? (Remember – you can always put your curiosity back under lock & key again later, if you aren’t wanting to live with such excitement all the time!) Would you still choose to pass up on the chance to enjoy just a little bit of the energy of this season if you knew it was your last chance for this year?

And: if you did allow yourself to get curious and play with even one of the questions above, then I’d like to acknowledge you for your Spring spirit, and offer you another question – What would you need to do to schedule in just a little bit of spring fun each week from now?

Wishing you warmth & joy!

Sam

P.S. Along with the brighter weather has also come the inevitable ‘spring clean’ urge – so I’m making sure I get as much time outdoors and in the fresh air, as I am indoors and tidying/cleaning/clearing out stuff!

“Do you think that the more formal process of goal setting works better for everybody, and everyone should use it to achieve more?”

Sam and Paul consider the options and situations where structured goal setting is really required, but admit themselves that they don’t always have to follow a rigid process to move towards their dreams.

Thanks Matt for a brilliant question!

When we started ActionPodcast in 2008 we didn’t know what it would lead to, we didn’t know if it would resonate with you, we didn’t know how long it would last. So we just got started, took small steps, and watched as it unfolded.

But we knew with absolute certainty that we needed to share our messages.

And today we achieved a major milestone of our 100,000th podcast download, now listened to by people in over 25 countries.

Our experiences as coaches — in helping people find their passions, breakthrough fears and old habits, reconnect with their authentic purpose, create compelling goals and dreams for their future – has taught us many lessons about generating confidence, pride and conviction to keep moving forward. And it’s given universal insights into how to successfully navigate through change.

Our experiences in our own lives – four different people with four very different backgrounds, challenges, achievements and disappointments – has reminded us time and time again, that you can ALWAYS change your destiny. Your past provides lessons but it doesn’t determine or limit your future.

So in blending our unique perspectives with our shared purpose in helping you to continuously move forward and create a future of happiness and success, we continued to take small steps of everyday action.

Slowly but surely people like you were thanking us for the little boost, the extra insight and the profound a-ha! moment that we helped them discover. Small steps towards exciting futures.

Your fellow blog reader let us know that they know longer feel overwhelmed or stressed by what used to cause so much anxiety. Small steps towards more calm.

Podcast listeners said thank you for easing their pain in times of deep loss. Small steps with gratitude and acceptance.

Readers of our eBook shared their excitement of trying – and succeeding with – one of the 80 tips, tricks and perspectives shifts. Small steps for more energy and enthusiasm.

Our clients challenged us on “Why small steps? I need to move fast, I want more, now!” We encouraged them to start with small steps for easy wins and to overcome recurring setbacks. Small steps to build momentum.

So today we’d like to turn the table and thank YOU for your ongoing support of us, for your feedback and enthusiasm you’ve given us, for the gratitude we have for all our listeners and readers, for the exciting future you’ve encouraged us to move towards.

We send you 100,000 thank you’s and look forward to our next 100,000.

Don’t get us wrong, small steps aren’t always the only solution.

But they often are the starting point.

They reference the book :59 seconds by Richard Wiseman

So now is your chance to drop me an email to Paul (at) ActionPodcast (dot) com and let me know what you’d like to hear in a future podcast.

It can be pretty much any topic at all, health, goal setting or maybe a specific problem you are trying to over come. Even if you aren’t sure if it’s something we normally cover, drop us a note and we’ll have a chat with you first if we need more information or need to clarify anything.

So drop us an email, leave a comment or post something on our facebook page.

I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Yes, it’s that important.

In the initial days after the tragedy what I found most humbling was the incredible humanity displayed by the Japanese victims. Unimaginable suffering mixed with stories of hope; stories of human courage. A US camera crews finds a group of survivors huddled together making food – and immediately one of the men in the group offers the reporter some of their food. Food that they desperately need. His generosity made me cry. This man’s first thought was to look after his guests. How beautiful is that?

Despite finding themselves losing everything, the Japanese have not lost their humanity, their courage and human decency. There are no riots, no looting, no ripping each other off. At least as far as we can tell. Every person is out there helping each other out as much as they can. In shock, hungry, cold and grieving for lost loved ones, the Japanese are handling their own personal Armageddon calmly and in service.

It’s no dog eat dog and pillaging we saw in New Orleans. What a difference in mentality and culture,  self-awareness and self-worth. If only the same could be said of the Japanese government; a government that has been more than economical with the truth about the impending nuclear fallout at Fukushima, which is now leaking radioactive water into the sea, as well as polluting the atmosphere.

No wonder the people who can escape are fleeing the country. Millions of people are living without running water or power in temperatures that fall below freezing at night. Half a million homes are without power in Tohoku and 2.5 million have no access to water. Food is critically short and bottled water is running low in many cities. Gasoline is scarce and homes are running out of kerosene to power heaters.

Whatever happens next, this terrible real-life drama is a lesson to us all about love. About caring about others as well as ourselves. About realising the precariousness of life; it can be over in seconds, yet we all think we are immortal. Watching the TV images made me think about the last time I told the people closest to me that I love them. This is so important. And of the dreams yet to be realised in my own life. Are there goals and ideas you are putting off? Are you waiting until you’re perfect, richer, slimmer before you learn to ride a motorbike and head off into the Arizona desert? Learn to fly? Have a child? Travel the world? Paint? Write that book? Even leave your job that bores you to tears?

The current earth changes are but a herald of things to come. We cannot rely on governments, banks, outward organisations to help us. The real mast you can tie yourself to is awareness of your own inner being. Your own inner strength and self-awareness. Consciousness is rapidly evolving. If you are new to this concept then I urge you to read books by Eckhart Tolle, Marianne Williamson, and read A Course in Miracles.

At times of great disaster, it can be difficult to know which aid organisations to trust. Especially when we see the misuse or rather lack of use of funds in countries like Haiti. Millions of dollars are collecting interest, yet to be spent on rebuilding that particular nation. Thousands are still languishing in tent cities, riddled by disease. How sad is that? A situation repeated in many disaster zones where corruption is rife.

If you’d like to donate to the relief effort in Japan, I recommend two organisations that I trust, one of which I have personally worked for  – Real Medicine Foundation –  founded by Dr Martina Fuchs after the SE Asia Tsunami. RMF is doing incredible disaster relief work around the world. Check out their website at www.realmedicinefoundation.org

RMF’s partner in Japan is JEN (Japanese Emergency Non Profit), another non-profit, NGO with extensive humanitarian experience. You can donate here directly at their home page link. Their website is www.jen-npo.org

Please donate whatever you can to help the Japanese people now.

Sam and Gina discuss their own challenges with getting things done and explore breaking things down into chucks and having “medium milestones” to help keep things on track

I’ve now been going back to the gym for 3 weeks, 4-5 times a week. I’ve discovered that if I just go to the gym 2-3 times a week my days off become too tempting for me to have “just another” day off. Always promising myself “I’ll go tomorrow!”, which of course I ended up repeating the next day, until every shred of motivation had been stripped away.

So my first trick is to go every day. Even if it’s only for 30-45 minutes.

After a few days of this routine, or especially after a nice relaxing and rather over indulgent weekend, I would find Mondays a bit of a struggle. So this time I ended up allowing myself to reel off all the excuses of why I didn’t need to go today… but while I was actually getting ready and walking out of the door!

It was a bit like when you see a mother trying to put a coat on a petulant child. The child loudly protests and gives all the reasons why she doesn’t want, or need to wear her coat. However, when the mother humorously just agrees with her daughter, the child allows her to put it on.

During my own wrestle with my inner voice – while getting dressed for the gym – I managed to come up with the following excuses:

• It’s very early
• I’m still tired
• Maybe I’m hungover
• I might be ill
• I can take a day off
• I can go tomorrow
• Maybe I could go later
• Oh, I don’t have my iPod I will definitely have to go back home
• If I go back home I may as well stay there, it’s not worth it…

I was actually about 10 paces out of my front door by the time the iPod excuse was thrown in. But I didn’t turn around, I just kept marching my petulant child (my inner voice) off to the gym.

The great thing about this technique is that you end up building your motivation by doing what you really want to do, despite all the de-motivating self-talk. The following day, my motivation had returned to almost full strength. By today (Wednesday) I had no problem what-so-ever!

Remember, it’s ACTION that promotes MOTIVATION, not in-action.

Read Chris’s related blog post on how we find so many excuses not to do things here

Can you relate to the feeling of:

• Making things harder for yourself than they need to be?
• Allowing yourself to be distracted by something other than your priority?
• Punishing yourself when something isn’t perfect?
• Taking on too much when you know you can’t fit everything in?

Sometimes sabotage can show up in a way that obviously affects our goals, and other times it can show up more subtly. For example, I recently noticed myself being clumsy and getting injured a lot – which is very unlike me. All the bumps and bruises were subtly trying to distract me from the important actions I needed to take. But a more obvious example is: if you are focusing on becoming more healthy, then buying chocolates and crisps (because someone else in the house or visitors might need them) is a more direct form of sabotage – which puts the temptation right in front of you.

So why do we self-sabotage – particular the dreams we most want?

And more importantly, what can we do about it?

There is usually a pattern to our sabotaging behaviour, and this is likely to be driven by an underlying fear – so that we aren’t consciously aware of it, but it is ticking away in our sub-conscious like a time-bomb.

Because the fear is buried away, it can be hard to identify, but at its heart – the attempts to stop you achieving what you want are also giving you something to blame when things do go wrong. For example, “I would have achieved that if only … hadn’t gone wrong.”

So here is a 3-step plan for nullifying self-sabotage:

1. Starting from a place of building awareness, there are little signs we can look for to spot self-sabotage in action:
   • If you catch yourself doing something that is “unlike you”
   • If it feels like the world & his dog are against you, and trying to stop you from achieving your goal
   • If you are having trouble concentrating on and prioritising what is important to you
   • Things are feeling much harder and more draining than you think they should be

   Once you start noticing these feelings or behaviours, then you can choose to do something about it. The key to ending self-sabotage is to be willing to explore what is causing it – because when you bring it to light, it can’t continue to tick away underneath the surface anymore.

2. Explore the underlying fear. This is unlikely to be the most obvious reason, so asking yourself some quality questions can help identify the root cause:
   • What will it mean for me if I achieve my dream (or do well at this)?
   • What will people think of me once I’ve reached my goal?
   • I deserve my dream because…?

   For example, I was suffering severe stage fright prior to doing some live webinars and calls recently. I’ve never had stage-fright before, but it wasn’t fear of speaking to a group of people that was affecting me. When I asked myself the first question above, I realised that if I did well at this one it would mean I’d have to do more of them! So it was more about avoiding the thing that felt uncomfortable, than doing the actual presentation itself.
   You might not need to work through each of these questions, or there might be another question that works better for you. But if none of them resonate, then you can try asking yourself “Why?” five times when thinking about the fear that is holding you back to uncover its root.

3. Finally, it will help to choose empowering beliefs that will help you towards your dream rather than halt you from it. Try asking yourself:
   • What would I need to believe about myself to feel confident about achieving my goal?
   • What would I need to believe about myself to feel I deserve my dream?
   • In order to enjoy working towards my goal, what would I need to believe about it/myself?

   Again – you only need to answer one or two of these questions, but if you struggle to answer any of them there is another place you can start. Instead, ask yourself: “In order to feel so badly about taking this action or achieving my goal I’d need to believe …?”And once you’ve answered that one, return to the other questions. Chances are you’ll now find an answer to one of them, which you can compare to your initial response. You can then choose to work with and nurture the belief that empowers you, rather than the one that has been holding you back and sabotaging your success.

And once you’ve worked through these three steps, you can then address some of the feelings that self-sabotage had been causing – like learning to say “no” to something if you’ve already got other commitments or before you get to the point of feeling like there is too much to do; allowing something to be “good enough” rather than aiming for the impossible ideal of perfection; getting very clear about your priority, so that distractions come second-fiddle; and allowing the process of taking action towards your dream or goal to be easy and enjoyable instead of expecting it to be hard and painful!

Have you had any experiences of self-sabotage? How did you spot them, and how did you respond? Let us know whether you’ve had dreams derailed by fear, or whether you’ve been able to turn it around. And please do share with us if any of this resonated, or if the 3 steps help you move forwards with your goal!

In this podcast Paul and Gina discuss ways you can actually start getting motivated, what you can focus on to maintain momentum – and reach your intended goals. As both coaches have recently started back at the gym themselves, they will be posting weekly accountability blogs on our Action Podcast Facebook page – in an effort to keep their own momentum going!

It’s a concept you’ve probably never considered, but the payoff is huge.

Which thoughts and words?

The most expensive words you’ll ever utter are the excuses you use to rationalise not doing the things you know need to be done.

But guess what? You probably have just a few (instead of dozens) different and recurring excuses you repeatedly use to get out of doing what needs to be done. If you make a shift and eliminate those, you’ll experience a tremendous boost in progress and happiness.

The bad news? You might not be aware of these thoughts and words in the moment because they seem so natural, so appropriate and so accurate and rational for what you feel. Yet, when you stop and reflect on them you’ll see them for what they are – just excuses that give you permission to stay in your comfort zone.

What’s more, you’ve probably been nurturing these excuses for so many years that they’ve become ingrained in your psyche and happen in a flash — stopping you in your tracks, and shutting down your growth without you even noticing what’s happened.

Understand this: These thoughts and words are preventing you from getting what you want.

Said another way: these are the excuses that are keeping you from your dreams; that create chronic internal conflicts (which pull your heart, head and gut in three different directions); that shatter your confidence and self-esteem; that train you to play smaller than you are capable of; that zap your energy and optimism for your life.

Yes, it’s true, these little thoughts and words are that costly and dangerous.

The good news? Once you see – and accept – these words for what they are, they lose their power over you and you stop thinking away your success. Which means you achieve and become much more when these thoughts disappear.

So, what should you do about this?

Do not to place judgement on yourself. Simply start your log with “I’m noticing that I usually/often/sometimes…“

Awareness is always the starting point so I strongly encourage you to start making notes, keeping a log of the excuses (…you may find you’ve been calling them ‘reasons’…) you use for not doing what you know you should do. Take regular notes, or put it in your journal, or create a ‘draft’ email you can quickly open and jot them down, whatever works for you to capture the thought in the moment. But don’t try to be perfect, just start doing it and adapt as you go.

Stop the cycle of excuses and take this small action now – don’t put this off – do this for yourself.  This is too important to delay.

Another key point is not to place judgement on yourself. Simply start your log with “I’m noticing that I usually/often/sometimes…” Just capture what you notice on reflection and reject the temptation to rationalise your rationalisation of these thoughts.

Over time, and possibly quite quickly, you’ll realise you have your own personal ‘choice excuses’.

Why do you set an early alarm and hit snooze for an hour?

Why do you bring your workout clothes to work but never make it to the gym?

Why do you not pick up the phone and ask for the sale instead of hiding behind the safety curtain of email?

Why don’t you tell your partner how you really feel when he/she does that?

Your excuses will be personal to you, but they here are some thought starters to help you recognise them:

• If I don’t check my email one more time before going to bed…
• I can’t start ______ until I am totally organised…
• I can’t start saving until I make more money because….
• I’ve done enough today already…
• I need to be more prepared before I…
• Only when things calm down at work can I….
• I know this food won’t help me achieve my health goals but I deserve it because…
• I never have enough time to….
• I’m too tired to do this now, I’ll do it tomorrow when I feel better…
• My relationship will improve when they….
• And so on…

You don’t need a list that long, and you’ll quickly realise there are 3 or 4 excuses that come up the most often.

The next step, once you’ve identified your ‘choice excuses’, is to remain highly sceptical of their truthfulness and to challenge your automatic response to them. You now recognise them as excuses that prevent you from making real progress. You now are able to loosen their grip on your behaviour. YOU now have the power to make better decisions and take more purposeful action that will lead you closer to your dreams.

So the next time they surface, flip these excuses of why you can’t into reasons of why you MUST take action now if you are going to achieve the success you desire.

Leave a comment below to share what you learned from this and what excuses you now see are holding you back. We’d love to hear from you.

I was lucky enough to attend a workshop of Julia’s here in London recently. Her amazing way of engaging the subconscious and allowing it full expression, despite the ego’s resistance was a wonderful exercise in giving my creativity full reign. I remembered long forgotten dreams of photography, art and dance. Working in pairs we blasted through self-doubt and internal critics to discover what we would truly love to create. And the best thing? It doesn’t have to be perfect.

I have listed below some of the questions that helped us reach this awareness. And I hope that you find them equally challenging and enlightening. And that this self-questioning will take you closer to your heartfelt desires to create – each and every day of your life. Just keep it simple.

1. Family
What did your mother think about artists and creativity?
What did your father think about artists and creativity?

2. What was the art form you practised as a child?

3. What’s the art form you lust after RIGHT NOW?

4. If you had 5 ‘other’ lives what would they be? And what small action can you take right now to taste some of those lives. eg dancer – take dance classes.

5. List 15 things/activities you absolutely love.

6. List 7 artistic U-turns. e.g. I started piano but gave up when I started dating…

7. If you didn’t have to do it perfectly, what would you try right now?  e.g. learn to ride a motorbike, play piano etc

8. List 5 Ways You are Mean to Yourself

9. List 5 Ways You are Loving to Yourself

10. List 5 adventures you’d like to have

11. What Do You Need To Try?

12. What Do You Need to Know?

13. What Do You Need to Accept?

14. Write a letter from your 8-year-old self to your current self.

15. Write a letter from your 80-year-old self to your current self.

Just a few examples of a little creative archaeology! And keep asking yourself, ‘What Do I Love’ You might be surprised at the answer.

HAPPY CREATING!

Show me the video!

If you want 2011 to be a year you can be proud of, then make sure you don’t miss this video – as it will only be available until midnight Fri 25th February (UK time)!

I want to watch it right now! I understand the free training presentation will be taken down at midnight on Fri 25, & I don’t want to miss out!

In this variation from the usual podcasts, Chris and Sam share why they are so excited about this never-presented-before content that has been created for you. After 2 years and over 80,000 downloads (plus blog posts too), we know it’s time to expand what we do and bring you even more insights, tools and value to help you achieve all you want to in 2011.

It’s free. It’s powerful.

It’s the turning point you’ve been seeking.

We look forward to having you join us for this incredibly powerful presentation!

Today, I’ve been out-of-sorts (or crabbit, as they call it up here!) all day, feeling lethargic and even a bit nauseous… not to mention having trouble concentrating. Why? Largely because I chose to ignore what my body was telling me during the last 24hrs.

Firstly, I was thirsty much of yesterday, yet only managed to drink about 3 glasses of water despite my dry mouth and deep sense of craving. Secondly, I went to bed late even though I was tired and then felt knackered when I awoke in spite of the 9hrs sleep I’d had. And thirdly, I ate a big slab of baked Camembert for lunch rather than finding myself something decent to eat.

We can probably all relate to self-inflicted late nights, over-indulgence and dehydration at times, so what is so significant about this? Basically, because I know better than to do this to myself. Why? Because my body told me so, and has done on many occasions!

I know from past experience that if I am not asleep by about 11pm, then it doesn’t matter how many hours I get, I’ll still wake feeling tired and poorly-rested. I also know that when I am thirsty, I sometimes confuse water cravings for sugar ones… which leaves me feeling doubly bad (because I don’t drink enough water to wash all the sugar out of my system). And I certainly know that when I have dairy these days, I tend to feel sick afterwards – no matter how much I enjoyed it at the time.

I know these things, because my body has repeatedly given me messages confirming them – particularly when I forget myself and decide to splurge with a late night, lots of chocolate or anything creamy! My body is infinitely patient, and despite my continued mistakes, it simply keeps reminding me that I’m not listening.

But the cost is much more than just feeling crabbit all day.

I haven’t taken some of the actions I’d had planned for today to progress my big goals. I have minimised my chance of feeling refreshed and well-rested come the end of the weekend, and will probably find Monday morning more of a struggle because of this. And I also feel guilty, because deep down, I know this is not how my body deserves to be treated.

On top of that, I’ve also re-enforced some of the bad habits I’ve been working to shift – equivalently undoing some of the good work achieved previously. So how can we tune in to our body wisdom to better effect?

Here are a couple of things to try:

• Simply take a few moments to notice how you physically feel after you eat or drink something. Do you feel good? Lethargic? Refreshed? Unwell?
• Likewise, when you wake in the morning how do you feel? Are you ready to bound out of bed? Feeling like you need another night’s rest? Stressed because you’ve hit the snooze button a few times without realising?
• How do you feel at the end of the day, and what were your activity levels? Were you sedentary for most of the day (at a desk, pc or driving etc)? Did you get your body moving with some exercise?
• Use trial-and-error to check how your body reacts to differences in your diet, exercise or sleep patterns. What seems to work best for you?
• Try picking just one thing that works well for you, and persist with it for a while. What differences do you notice? And how do you feel if you ignore the magic of your body wisdom by reverting to an old habit or choice?

Whilst it is best to start with just one thing, rather than trying to overhaul all your physical routines at the one time, do notice what happens when you choose the “wrong” thing… because often one bad choice where we ignore our body wisdom seems to lead to multiple bad choices, and they compound to leave us feeling even worse!

Once we’ve started building our awareness of the messages our body tries to send us, we can start paying more attention to other things like our “gut instinct”, and even our reactions to situations or specific people. There’s an infinite amount of wisdom within our millions of cells just waiting for us to start listening to it!

Leave a comment below and share with us one message that your body repeatedly tries to send you, and what impact it has when you choose to ignore the wisdom! Enjoy the process of becoming more body aware!

Have you recently started something new, or been hesitating from taking the plunge?

Paul & Sam explore different ways of dealing with the teething pains of trying a new challenge, and how you can let them be helpful rather than harmful. Take your pick of perspective shifts to either motivate, strengthen or sign-post you along the way!

One-tenth of 2011 is now gone. How was it for you?

Are you off to a flying start like an Olympic sprinter? Are you really making an effort to do what you want to do? Having more fun, checking off your to-do list with a steady flow of energy and optimism?

Or are you still stuck in the starting blocks? Putting off what really matters to you or perhaps waiting for some issues to clear before starting on your goals for the year? Maybe just postponing real action until you ‘feel more motivated’?

What you do, and how you behave in the first 1/10^th of the year can create massive momentum for the remaining 90% — both positive and encouraging momentum to continue to build on, and sluggish downward-spiral momentum that’s often hard to break away from.

Either way, the past has passed, and what’s done is done. The great news is there is still 90% of the year remaining!  So if you’re not off to an inspiring start, use today as your new beginning and promise yourself not to waste another minute!

It just comes down to the decisions we make right now: do I want more out of this year than last? How would I feel this time next year if I don’t try harder now? I will accept responsibility for my own success and happiness and make sure to take the actions necessary to making this a successful, happy, fun and exciting year and finally take control of living the life I want.

If you’re not sure where to get started, stay tuned for an exciting announcement from ActionPodcast.

This year at ActionPodcast, we have made the same promise – we are going to walk more of our walk and make the most of the next 90%, here’s our commitment: to do more to help you create extreme positive momentum in your life; encourage and inspire you to stay on track and on target for your ambitions and dreams; continue to help you get back up and dust yourself off whenever you fall down and life gets overwhelming.

And of course, there are loads of new helpful blog posts and insightful podcasts on our website to make sure you stay on path for taking everyday action in order to create a year you can really be proud of.  We’ll do it together.

Decide today to do one thing, just one small action right now, that will move you closer to what you want, and soon you’ll be doing more and more things that accelerate your success.

Leave a comment to let us know how your first 10% has been – good or bad – and how you’re going to make the next 10% even better.

Do you often find yourself saying yes to an increased workload, when you should be saying “No”? Are you working evenings and weekends leaving no time for FUN, or hobbies or relaxing with your family and loved ones? How about asking for longer deadlines, or factoring in more realistic time schedules for your work? Covering Tip #25 from our book 80 Tips, Tricks and Perspective Shifts for Everyday Action, Gina and Chris share their own experiences of being overwhelmed and the repercussions of taking on more than they can chew. And how by committing to less, and incorporating more FUN into their lives, they are actually achieving more.

Are you looking for new direction and new inspiration this year? Instead of asking others for advice, how about asking yourself these 10 power questions. They’ll give you insights and guidance towards creating the life that you really want.

1.  If tomorrow was your last day on Earth, what would you wish you’d done in your life (but haven’t).

2. Do you have a recurring vision or dream about a particular place, job, activity, people?

3. What do you feel you were put on this Earth to do?

4. What do you care deeply about?

5. Name 5 things you are really good at.

6. Ask 5 people what they think you’re good at.

7. If you had a week all to yourself without any responsibilities, what would you do?

8. What’s the most important decision you are facing right now? What stops you from making it?

9. If I told you that you had unlimited time and resources and that you could do anything you want in life, what would that be?

10. What are the first steps you can take towards doing the work or leading the life you’d love?

Inside your heart is a dream that may yet be unfulfilled. By focusing on what you love, rather than what you feel you should be doing will give you greater energy and insight. One easy way to start is to write non-stop for about 20 minutes, listing all the things you love doing. I did this recently and it was very revealing! Begin using your imagination to create, rather than clinging to a belief system that holds you back. Every single thing you see in the world today was created initially by someone’s imagination. As Lennon himself said: “Imagine…”

Join Chris and Sam as they discuss Tip #1 from the ActionPodcast eBook – 80 Tips, Tricks & Perspective Shifts for Everyday Action – and find out how this can help even the most adamant non-morning-person! Whether it is a quick physical burst, a calm mental focus or a dietary delight, you’ll discover how one simple change (or a combination of them) will transform your whole day and leave you feeling great.

And if you want to know more about Sam’s Awesome Vegan Smoothie (inspired by Chris!), here’s how you can create one yourself:

Makes roughly 1 pint of smoothie. You’ll ideally need to have a good quality blender, although if you leave out the cacao nibs then it’s not quite so important.

3 Large bananas

1-2 handfuls of pre-washed baby spinach

A generous sprinkling of ground almonds

A light sprinkling of raw cacao nibs (if you like some crunch)

Cold water (enough to thin to taste)

You can use whole or chopped nuts, of whichever type you like, but ground ones are easier on the blender and I love almonds!

Peel & break up the bananas and drop them into the blender. Add the ground almonds, and (optional) cacao nibs, top with the baby spinach leaves, and then add water (a few hundred ml should be enough, but you can vary the thickness of the smoothie with the water). Make sure the water is cold, as warm smoothie isn’t nearly as nice!

Blend just enough for there to be no remaining banana chunks, and for the clunking of the cacao nibs to have lessened. Don’t over-blend, as the bananas can become goopy. Pour it out into a pint glass, and enjoy! It might look bizarre, but I find it delicious – and it leaves me feeling fab all day!

There’s an infinite amount of variation you can apply to this (different fruit, nuts, supplements etc), so just get creative and find something that works for you!