For most of us, we learn our family roles at a young age as we try to discover our place in the world, and they stick with us for the rest of our lives.
But whether good, bad, indifferent or confusing, we don’t have to inherit the roles established through youth or circumstance… we can choose to rethink the roles we want to play within our family.
And ‘family’ can refer to the people you choose to surround yourself with, not just your biological relatives, despite the oft-quoted adage that “you can choose your friends but not your family”. So what are these family roles we adopt, and why would we want to change them?
What are family roles?
I think of them as any physical, emotional or relational tie that we have to our family as a whole, or to individual members. They can be labels we take on, behaviours we repeat or feelings we associate with our family.
An example of some of the roles I’ve inherited are: black sheep, big sister, rule-breaker/boundary-stretcher, courageous (if a little crazy), rebellious daughter, golden granddaughter and international jet-setter. There are many more, and you would perhaps get a different list if you asked my family members to provide it instead, but these are roles that have affected my relationships with all of my family and that I accepted as part of my identity.
It is the last of these – international jet-setter – that has caused me to rethink my family roles recently in my 12th year of living overseas.
Understanding & Changing Them
I realised that part of me had assumed that ‘international’ also meant ‘distant’ Read more of this article »
For some people, learning from practice might seem second nature – but the benefits of practising regularly at something go beyond the steady improvement you might expect.
The saying that “practice makes perfect” is oft quoted, particularly from hopeful parents to their children; so what does this mean and how can we adopt an everyday action approach that delivers greater-than-anticipated results?
What Do We Mean By Learning from Practice?
At ActionPodcast we know that regular, consistent action is far more effective (and sustainable) than spikes of intense activity. When we work at something little and often, we start building a set of skills that take us from a state of conscious effort towards automatic ability – the more you repeat something, the easier it becomes.
If preparing to travel makes you feel so stressed you start to wonder whether going away is worth it, then you’ve failed the holiday stress test!
The idea of a week or two away might sound like a dream come true, but for many of us an approaching holiday signifies a period of major stress:
Things seem to get busier at work, and we want to clear any loose ends before we go away;
Preparing to travel (incl. packing) requires a lot of planning and organisation;
Our health or holiday budgets can become a concern;
Arranging care for our pets can be difficult;
And even getting the house ready (so that we don’t come back to a mess) can wear us out.
What can you do if you failed the holiday stress test?
Instead of questioning whether your holiday is actually worth all the stress of preparing for it, you can start to explore what causes you to feel most stressed in the lead-up to a trip. Think back to your last few trips – what were the common patterns/issues?
You don’t want to be left feeling like you need a holiday to recover from the holiday (!), so once you understand what particularly causes your pre-holiday stress a few small changes might make all the difference, allowing you to truly enjoy the holiday you deserve.
Could you be adding to your own pre-holiday stress?
We can also set unrealistic expectations for ourselves prior to a vacation (this is not the time to do a complete spring clean, or wardrobe clear-out!), or even find that our travelling companion(s) have different approaches to travel preparation that might clash with ours…
Listen to this podcast to hear Chris & Sam share some strategies to make the experience easier – so that next time you take the holiday stress-test you’ll hopefully get a different result.
ActionPodcast is your weekly source of inspiration and motivation for taking consistent action in your life.
Our audio shows are deliberately kept short, around 10-15 mins to help you squeeze a weekly boost in to your schedule. From managing stress to managing time, gaining confidence to getting rid of excuses, the experienced team of ActionPodcast coaches provides practical insights and actionable ideas for making consistent progress in the important areas of your life. Read more...
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For most of us, we learn our family roles at a young age as we try to discover our place in the world, and they stick with us for the rest of our lives.
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