The Most Important Question You Will Ever Ask

As a coach it’s my job to ask the questions that help my clients resolve a problem, achieve a goal or see something from a new perspective.

What is the question?

Recently I was delighted to be able to coach someone for a TV show. Gok Wan is a hugely popular body confidence and fashion guru. On his show last night I was seen coaching a young gay man who needed help boosting his confidence. You only see me on screen for about 30 seconds, but during my slot I ask Daniel what he’d like to get out of the session.

“By the end of this coaching session, what do you want to achieve and take away with you?”

Why do you need to ask this question?

This is a normal question to ask, and the reasons behind it may already be obvious to you. But just in case let’s break it down and see why it’s the most important question you could ever ask.

  1. It starts off the conversation by clearly understanding its purpose.
  2. It gives you a chance to mark where you are now so that you can compare it with where you feel you have reached at the end.
  3. It confirms commitment that this is a conversation about change, not about wishing things were different.

What happens if you don’t ask it

Think about a time when a conversation with someone went round in circles. Or a time when you thought you were setting a goal, but you never seemed to move towards it.

Chances are you didn’t ask yourself, or the other person the most important question.

“What result do you want from this?”

Not asking this question, is like jumping on the first train you see at the station, but not knowing where it’s going, or even knowing where you WANTED to go!