Being nice is HARD WORK

Just for one moment, look up and have a look at someone near you. If you aren’t in a room with other people, just open up a web page with the latest news online and have a look at the first picture of a person that you see.

What is the first thing that strikes you about this person? What is their hair like? Do they have any? What are they wearing? Already you will be making decisions about them and making a judgement on what they did to present themselves they way that they do.

It’s so easy to then make a snap decision on what they SHOULD have done. Quite quickly you have re-organised their wardrobe, found them a new hair style, given them a quick make over and sorted out their relationship issues by telling them to dump that loser……

Being critical about someone is second nature. It makes you wonder where and why we learnt this skill. What makes us tear someone apart within seconds of seeing them?

Now, try and come up with one thing you like about that person. One thing you think they have did well in.

At first it can be a struggle, especially if it’s someone you don’t like!

But try, even if it seems trivial and pointless at first, find just one thing that is a positive statement to say about that person.

It can be something about their physical appearance, or something they are wearing or even just they way they smile and interact with another person.

Now, the challenge!

I want you to find one good thing about everyone you meet over the course of a day. Initially just keep it to yourself, just build up the practise of identifying that one good thing. First you might find this hard work, but as you continue you realise it becomes easier to pick something out. When you see something really good about someone, see if you can tell them. Don’t go over board and make it sound like you are a stalker! Just drop it in to conversation if you can, or drop the compliment in passing and move on. That way they won’t get stuck in an embarrassing situation of having to say thank you. Often a “thank you” is swiftly followed up with and negation:-

Oh this old thing?
Oh it’s nothing the other person did all the hard work
It was more good luck than good sense!

As stated in the subject, being nice is HARD WORK! Not only do you have to realign your thought process to target the positive but then you have to dodge the negations that come soon after.

After one day of spotting these positives and maybe even telling a few people about it. Check in with yourself and see if you notice anything different? Are you exhausted from all that mental hard work or are you energised from all that positivity? You may be surprised by the result!

Whatever happens drop a comment in the box below and let me know what happened when you did it.

Was being nice really hard work for you?