Archive Monthly Archives: April 2010

Being nice is HARD WORK

Just for one moment, look up and have a look at someone near you. If you aren’t in a room with other people, just open up a web page with the latest news online and have a look at the first picture of a person that you see.

What is the first thing that strikes you about this person? What is their hair like? Do they have any? What are they wearing? Already you will be making decisions about them and making a judgement on what they did to present themselves they way that they do.

It’s so easy to then make a snap decision on what they SHOULD have done. Quite quickly you have re-organised their wardrobe, found them a new hair style, given them a quick make over and sorted out their relationship issues by telling them to dump that loser……

Being critical about someone is second nature. It makes you wonder where and why we learnt this skill. What makes us tear someone apart within seconds of seeing them?

Now, try and come up with one thing you like about that person. One thing you think they have did well in.

At first it can be a struggle, especially if it’s someone you don’t like!

But try, even if it seems trivial and pointless at first, find just one thing that is a positive statement to say about that person.

It can be something about their physical appearance, or something they are wearing or even just they way they smile and interact with another person.

Now, the challenge!

I want you to find one good thing about everyone you meet over the course of a day. Initially just keep it to yourself, just build up the practise of identifying that one good thing. First you might find this hard work, but as you continue you realise it becomes easier to pick something out. When you see something really good about someone, see if you can tell them. Don’t go over board and make it sound like you are a stalker! Just drop it in to conversation if you can, or drop the compliment in passing and move on. That way they won’t get stuck in an embarrassing situation of having to say thank you. Often a “thank you” is swiftly followed up with and negation:-

Oh this old thing?
Oh it’s nothing the other person did all the hard work
It was more good luck than good sense!

As stated in the subject, being nice is HARD WORK! Not only do you have to realign your thought process to target the positive but then you have to dodge the negations that come soon after.

After one day of spotting these positives and maybe even telling a few people about it. Check in with yourself and see if you notice anything different? Are you exhausted from all that mental hard work or are you energised from all that positivity? You may be surprised by the result!

Whatever happens drop a comment in the box below and let me know what happened when you did it.

Was being nice really hard work for you?

A Fix For A Fixer

After a recent request for topics, I was given a request by one of my friends and listeners.

“Ok. here is something that I can use some help with. I’m a ‘fixer’ I like to help as much as possible. The problem is that my wife has cancer and this is something I can’t fix. I want to help but not sure what I can do other than being supportive (which to me isn’t enough). So can you advise a fix for a fixer?”

Sam and I (Paul) talked about the topic and both thought it through for a week before recording this podcast. It was quite different to our normal ones, but I hope you find it interesting.

———-

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Did Curiosity Really Kill the Cat?

I chose the tag CuriosityCoach for my (much-neglected) Twitter account, I sign many of my business (& private) emails ‘With love & curiosity’, and I believe my personal mantra that: Where true curiosity is present, judgement cannot exist.

Yet like all words, ‘curiosity’ is as open to individual interpretation as the rest of them. Continue reading

Two Phases of Thought

Have you ever found yourself trying to be creative but you just weren’t able to access that side of your brain? During today’s podcast Chris and Paul talk about the two phases of thought and how to access your logical and creative sides at will. By changing your location or environment and the tools that you use can have a huge impact on which mode you are in.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Delays are not denials

Do you know that moment when you find out something you’ve been really looking forward to has been cancelled? You’ve been so looking forward to it, building up anticipation, wrapping up your planning and telling your friends all about it? Perhaps a flight for a holiday, a party, a date with someone special, or a new business meeting?

The let down can be very painful and frustrating, sometimes even “devastating”. Or so it seems in the moment. Continue reading

Information Overload

Do you remember when they used to call the internet the “Information Superhighway”?

Now it seems more like trying to drink from a fire hydrant when we are trying to find a few answers. Yes love it or loath it, the internet is a powerful tool. Learning how we can handle just the right amount of information to make an informed decision is a skill that many of us are still struggling with. One of our listeners asked us

“How do you know when you’ve got enough information & how to put into practice. How do you avoid becoming overwhelmed with knowledge?”

So during this podcast Paul and Gina talk through their own experiences with “Analysis Paralysis” and give a few tips and tricks on how to deal with information overload.

Further reading:

[amazon ASIN=”0307465357″]The 4 Hour Work Week[/amazon] [amazon ASIN=”0330343580″]The Artists Way[/amazon]

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!

Second that Emotion

What are you feeling?

CONNECTING TO OUR EMOTIONS can be scary for many of us. We’ve been brought up to hide, suppress or even completely deny what our bodies and feelings are telling us. We often believe we will be overwhelmed if we ‘feel’ too much – so we take the very unhealthy option of shutdown, or escaping down the proverbial rabbit hole. Not a great idea…
Continue reading

Negativity

At first it can seem like a bit of harmless banter, but soon you realise that partaking in negativity can really drain you. Gina and Paul talk about dealing with negativity in groups and how to conquer your own.

If you have downloaded the podcast from iTunes remember to post a review and visit our website at ActionPodcast.com to leave a comment or contact one of the presenters directly. Sign up for our newsletter to receive the podcast directly to your inbox, plus an additional weekly blog post!