Archive Monthly Archives: May 2009

Addiction – The First Step

I was chatting to a friend for the first time in a few months, on MSN today. He is a dear friend I originally met through WoW (World of Warcraft) gaming, and whom I am in contact with irl (in real life).Image of WoW Character

We chatted for a bit, then he asked me the ‘big question’ – “Are you still playing?” I admitted, yes – that I was but that I was more aware of when I chose to play these days. He has been cold-turkey for quite a while now, so he sent me a link, and mentioned that it may inspire me to write a blog post. The site is, and whilst I realised it was a link aimed to help people overcome their WoW addiction, I didn’t really expect it to have a lot of immediate relevance to me.

Paul and I have mentioned WoW on podcasts and blog posts from time to time – which is why I felt this dedicated post was appropriate. And for the record, I’d like to state that whilst I talk openly about my own gaming experience, in NO circumstances would I recommend WoW to anyone. In fact, I’d say ‘avoid it if you want to have any life’.
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A very special guest

On this show I talk to someone very special indeed! One of our listeners has agreed to take a huge step outside her comfort zone and speak with me about the podcast, personal development and her own experience.

A Look In The Mirror

“It takes one to know one” is a phrase that often gets used by children when name-calling starts! Yet, despite it’s derogatory use as a rejoinder – there is a lot of wisdom present.

Think of someone you really admire, and which character traits of their’s shine through.
Sometimes it is much easier to believe something unpleasant about ourselves, than to acknowledge and accept that those traits we really admire in another person are part of us too.

When we think of each relationship as a mirror for ourselves, there is a lot of worthiness there to love – if/when we accept it. (Likewise, when someone is really annoying us – chances are we are doing that ‘annoying thing’ in some way too!)
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The fine art of listening

THINK BACK… to the last time someone really listened to you.
I mean really listened. For more than a few minutes. Without interrupting. Listening with all their being, until you’d actually finished your train of thought, and in some cases even your whole sentence? Fully present – not while driving, washing up, unpacking the shopping, half an eye on the footy/SATC re-runs; their attention clearly elsewhere. Listening until you came to a natural pause; a complete conclusion?

Not easy, eh? Most of us cannot wait to jump in, proffer our own opinion and then, with any luck completely take over the conversation. Why is listening so difficult?
For those of you who can remember what it feels like to be truly seen and heard – you’ll know what an exquisite feeling it is. Sometimes we don’t want advice or an opinion, we just want someone to be a sounding board; to listen to us. Without judgment and preferably in silence.

Next time you speak with a friend or colleague, make a conscious decision not to interrupt for at least a few minutes. You may get an anxious: “why have you gone quiet?” but if you tell the other person you are, in fact, listening to them, unless they’ve keeled over in shock, they’ll feel sufficiently respected to continue, perhaps at an even deeper level. And trust, me, they won’t forget the full attention you’ve given them!

If you’re lucky to have a good friend, family member or colleague who is happy to give you their silent, undivided attention, then you’re very well blessed! Go give ‘em a big hug…

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Unconsciously incompetent!

The 3rd episode in their impromptu series on life’s ups and downs, follows the progress of Sam & Paul’s journeys through boiling point (1st) and swinging between extremes (2nd).

Ignorance is not bliss. In fact, it tends to make life hell.
As we learn, we are likely to move through 4 stages of competence – rarely jumping from Unconscious Incompetence (ignorance!) directly to Unconscious Competence (mastery!). Along the way, we pass through Conscious Incompetence (aware but struggling), and hopefully into Conscious Competence (aware and succeeding).

Join Paul and Sam as they explore how their actions (no matter how imperfect/perfect, small/large) move them through the challenge of overwhelm and unresourcefulness, and into more aware states of learning, choice and empowerment; where things aren’t all rosy but are a darn sight less ugly!

Tell us why you love this podcast by leaving a comment below (before 15th May), and you’ll automatically be entered into our milestone 5,000th motivational download celebration draw! Click here for more details, or simply add your comment below NOW!

Not Feeling Listened To?

How does it feel when you are speaking to someone and it seems like your words are passing through the air between you, going in one of their ears, and out their other ear almost simultaneously? There is nothing much more frustrating than that!

“I’m not being listened to! They aren’t hearing me! Why am I so misunderstood?”

Having to constantly repeat ourselves is not the only option! Join Chris and Sam as they explore the differences between hearing and listening, how it affects our communication when we feel like we aren’t being listened to, and what we can start doing to improve the effectiveness of our speaking and listening straight away.

The best advice for making decisions in a time of change

There are different types of decisions that you make when making a change in your life. Actually, let me rephrase that, if you want to make a change in your life, there are many decisions you must make to achieve the change you want. But some decisions are much easier to make or ‘stick to’ than others.

The first decision is making the big decision, such as, “I’m going to get healthier”, “I’m going to spend less so I can save more”, “I’m really going to work on getting more customers”. Those are examples of the broader, or macro, decisions to address some area of your life. These are the kind of decisions that people are very good at proclaiming on New Year’s Eve as a resolution for the coming 12 months. Yet, the reason most people don’t get the results that they want, is that they are poor at consistently making the little daily decisions, or micro decisions, that really lead to the results they want.

And here’s why: Continue reading

Fake It Til You Make It

Join Sam and our latest Guest Podcaster Wyn Morgan – Executive Coach & Facilitator – as they discuss how one well-timed and well-chosen question can open up doors of options, energy and immediate action to get us through those times we just want to avoid!

We all have days and/or moments where we:

  • don’t feel confident enough
  • feel too fat/boring/unattractive
  • don’t have the energy for it
  • have committed to something but don’t really want to do it

Sometimes we can ‘force’ ourselves into action, and at other times we give in to the resistance and indulge our desire to avoid whatever it is. It can be far more fun and easy though, to simply ask ourselves a question that encourages immediate action regardless of how we feel – and then lets our emotions and attitudes catch up to our new perspective!

Click here to find out more about Wyn and his Wynning Ways!