Are you amazed at how quickly time seems to be passing? Worried that December will be here again and you won’t have taken action towards making those longed-for changes in your life? Perhaps it’s time to ditch the baby steps and push yourself out of your comfort zone!
Chris and Gina discuss ways you can begin to take big, bold steps – and calculated risks – towards creating the life you’d love. If you wanted to increase your happiness quotient by 10x – what could you do TODAY to get the ball rolling?
Life would be so much easier if we could just see over the camel’s hump, and realise that at the very moment when we feel like giving up, we are only metres from the finish line. If we could only trust that round those pesky U-bends in life is a gorgeous sun waiting to give us a big hug! Or as one sage teacher of mine once opined: “Joy is an interval between two sorrows” Ouch!
There have been times in my life where I have definitely felt like giving up and those moments are when (I now realise) I’ve been the closest to achieving what I started out to do. When I was only 10 minutes from completing the editing and laying out my first children’s story, I felt as if I was drowning in quicksand. The effort it took to finish was incredible. But I forced myself. I made the effort.
The minute we hear our inner voice saying: “I can’t be bothered” is the beginning of a slippery slope. A slope that leads us away from creating what we’d love, from engaging with the people that we’d love to have in our lives – and most fundamentally – it stops us from engaging with our Selves, and life. Not a wise move.
So what can you do to ensure you keep going around the U-bends of life?
1. Don’t ever, ever give up (unless it’s an abusive relationship or something else that is making you very ill – emotionally and mentally).
2. Check in with your feelings. Are you scared of failure? Of success? Of being judged? Acknowledge these feelings and realise that they have arisen from thoughts that aren’t necessarily true. You are simply projecting your fears into an imaginary future that hasn’t even happened yet!
3. Take a break. Go and do something physical like a brisk walk – or if you’re feeling angry go punch a few pillows (works for me every time!).
4. Allow yourself to be imperfectly perfect. You don’t have to be number one. You just have to do your very best. That is always good enough. Stop competing.
5. Have faith. Yes, I know the very word conjures up religious connotations but having faith in something greater than yourself is a powerful way of being. Have a try.
If you tend to give up when the going gets tough, then try some of the above tips. We’d love to hear how you get on – sharing your own experiences with other readers helps to inspire them too. You can leave a voice message on our website landing page or write to me at: gina@actionpodcast./com
How to be a friend to someone with low confidence.
A great topic suggestion from Anne-Marie, who’s friend is suffering from a bout of low confidence. So what can she do to help her friend through this period of low confidence?
By first focusing on the language that both of you use, you can help them find areas in which they do have confidence. This kind of support will help your friend recognise that there are good parts and not everything is doom and gloom.
Although your friend might not have confidence in a specific task, helping them recognise their own self belief can be critical to helping them through a difficult time.
Confidence is based on being certain, to a degree, of an outcome. No matter how inconsequential it might seem. Taking baby steps can really lead to big changes over time.
With your support, your friend will have the choice to make small changes everyday so that in a few weeks, months or maybe years they will be in a better place. If they start making those changes now.
Listen to the podcast to find out how to change your focus and give you the strength to move forward.
Have you helped a friend through a period of low confidence? What worked for you and more importantly your friend? Leave a comment below or use our feedback page
I’m sure most people will agree that there’s no better way to boost motivation than rewards. Each time you achieve something big, reach a goal, or move forward with a task, a little pat on the back in the form of rewards will go a long way.
However, are the so-called rewards we give ourselves healthy or helpful?
Personal goals can range from losing weight, quitting smoking, eating healthy, to completing a project or getting a big promotion. To achieve your goal requires going out of your comfort zone, pushing yourself to your limits, and taking risks. And there will be times when you’ll hit a blank wall, but there will also be times when you achieve certain milestones.
When you do achieve that milestone, the best way to celebrate and reinforce the positive behaviour is to reward yourself. Indulging in little rewards is a good reminder to not quit and keep moving forward.
You should watch and make sure that the rewards you give yourself don’t backfire on you. If your big goal is to lose weight, then don’t reward yourself with an eat-all-you-can buffet! The reward is that you lost weight, not the possibility of over eating again. Instead, reward yourself with smaller, better fitting clothes or perhaps a new gym outfit!
If you’re working to save money or get out of debt, then don’t celebrate your hard work by spending money to reward yourself. Buying something new or indulging in a shopping spree won’t help with your long term goals, in fact; it may cause you to relapse to your old spending habits! It may be a better idea if you use the money you’ve saved up to open a new investment account or simply put the money in a rainy-day piggy bank.
Be careful that your motivation doesn’t slide you backwards and away from your goal.
It happens to everyone. We get over-zealous with our achievements and want to celebrate immediately. It’s absolutely fine to give yourself a reward, but make sure you do it the right way. Here’s how:
Save the rewards for those big wins and milestones. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging every little success you make and feeling motivated about it. But there’s a big difference between acknowledging success and actually rewarding them financially. Watch out that you don’t mix these terms.
Motivation doesn’t always have to come in material things. Think of rewards that will relax you, inspire you, and soothe your inner spirit. Be creative about it; time alone with a good book can be as good as a new gadget and it won’t cost a dime. Try giving yourself time off from work to walk your dog or take your kids out to the park.
Okay, if you really want to reward yourself materially by buying something, then make sure you put a ceiling on your spending limit. Don’t blow the money you saved for so long with just a single purchase to reward yourself. Celebrate getting out of debt, but try not to get yourself back in debt while you’re at it.
Don’t cheat by rewarding yourself anytime you feel like it. Only reward yourself when you truly deserve it, this makes the moment extra special. Don’t grab a hearty meal every time you feel like you need the motivation to keep losing weight because you never will reach your goal that way! Save the celebration when you know you truly deserve it.
When thinking of the best reward always choose time over food. The last thing you want is to find yourself regularly splurging on food just to reward yourself for hard work. You might soon find yourself looking for the slightest reason to splurge on food. Choose time—give yourself more time with a book, more time with friends, and family.
Have you ever given yourself a nonsensical reward just for the fun of it? Share your experiences below.
We’d love to hear from you! Tell us what topic, challenge or issue you’d like us to discuss in an upcoming podcast. Leave the team a message on our feedback page feedback page.
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ActionPodcast is your weekly source of inspiration and motivation for taking consistent action in your life.
Our audio shows are deliberately kept short, around 10-15 mins to help you squeeze a weekly boost in to your schedule. From managing stress to managing time, gaining confidence to getting rid of excuses, the experienced team of ActionPodcast coaches provides practical insights and actionable ideas for making consistent progress in the important areas of your life. Read more...
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Life would be so much easier if we could just see over the camel’s hump, and realise that at the very moment when we feel like giving up, we are only metres from the finish line. If we could only trust that round those pesky U-bends in life is a gorgeous sun waiting to give us a big hug! Or as one sage teacher of mine once opined: “Joy is an interval between two sorrows” Ouch!
How to be a friend to someone with low confidence.
